Thursday, May 4, 2006

PS.

If I could bottle the smell of spring time right now I could be happy forever. Everywhere I go outside it smells like honeysuckle and other beautiful things. It seems like if you smell something like that enough then the beauty of it would eventually seep into your heart and soul. How can unhappiness live in a place where beauty also lives?

Love is patient

Love is kind

It does not envy

It does not boast

It is not proud

It is not rude

It is not self-seeking

It is not easily angered

It keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects

Always trusts

Always hopes

Always perseveres

Love never fails

I want to go to sleep and let the smells of beauty make my dreams beautiful and my sleep sweet. It's been a struggle to have sweet dreams lately. I have to give up what I want and allow whatever God wants. There are so many things in life that are easier said than done. So many things that make sense in hind sight. So much advice that can be given after the fact, when the pain is gone and you're dealing with someone else's pain, on the outside looking in. It's so hard for the rational to dominate the emotional. I'm happy for tomorrow. Partially because I don't know what good things it could hold. Partially cause I'm going to get a haircut and I need one so bad. Mostly because, even though I will never deserve it, God loves me more than anyone, myself included, could ever love me. Why can't I focus on that? I think I need to make it a practice to live more love in my life. The right kind of love as well. I was remembering the verse today that says they will know we are Christians by our love. Not by the sermons we preach or anything like that. Simply by our love. I think maybe the aspect of love I need to work on right now is patience. Need to stop thinking I know what the future will hold. Stop fretting about what I think may or may not happen. Just be patient and trust. Blah blah blah. Like I said, easier said than done.

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