I'm on the third day of my healing and it's going great. My mama is taking such good care of me and I've had a few visitors to interrupt my sleep/lounge around activities.
I've been able to talk ever since I had surgery. I try to keep it in moderation, but usually get sleepy before my voice gets too tired. I don't feel like I sound very different, but others say my voice sounds stronger with the same amount of effort that used to get a pretty weak sound.
I'm regaining a lot of flexibility in my neck, which was pretty sore from the angle it was in during the surgery and just from the surgery. For the first day I felt like someone had punched me in my throat. No sharp pain, just an ache. I've been diligent about taking my medicine regularly though which is keeping the pain well under control. They said today would be the most painful day, but it's been good so far. I still have a lot of numbness on my throat all the way up to my jaw line.
There is hope that once the swelling goes down I will be able to swallow without turning my head. I can swallow better now but every once in a while it makes me choke which hurts more than it's worth. I have a row of stitches in my throat that aren't so pretty, but they will come out Tuesday. Jonathan said the cut is already looking calmer than even yesterday. Between him and my mother I have been well fed - chicken soup, spaghetti squash with spinach, a gravy biscuit, yogurt, and banana. As long as I chew a lot most things are easy to swallow.
So now I'm about to take my steriod, percocet, and antibiotic and probably go back to sleep for a while. I slept the best last night (between the alarms I set for my medicine) than I have all week.
The prayers and love continue to make me feel happy and peaceful.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
sleepy, happy surgery day
I'm working on a thorough explanation of my day, but for now I'll sum it up.
Mama, Jonathan, Jamie, and I got to the hospital around 10am this morning. After a lengthy pre-op I went into surgery about 1:20pm. I had two really amusing anesthesiologists, plus three friendly doctors (or two doctors and a resident - I'm not sure), and several nurses. They used a local anesthesia along with calming/relaxing drugs. They also put cocaine (no lie) in my nose so they could stick a camera tube into my throat at different points during the surgery. Cocaine is evidently good for shrinking your nasal membranes... I was aware of everything which made the process really interesting - and not scary or disgusting at all. They answered my questions and only gave me a few times I couldn't talk or swallow. I was really impressed by Dr. Klein's experience that became evident as he was explaining things to the other two doctors.
I was wrapped up like a bug in a rug (or a crazy person in a loose straight jacket). My eyes were covered to keep the light out, but Dr. Klein did move the towels long enough to show me the gortex they were putting in my throat. They cut through the skin and moved the muscles aside to get to my thyroid cartilage. I think they ended up cutting a little bit of the muscle away for easier access. Then they removed a 3mm x 5mm piece of cartilage to make a window to my right vocal cord.
At this point they began testing pressure in different places to find out where they would eventually put the implant. I would count to 10, hold a low eeeee sound, occasionally a high one, and shout. We eventually settled on shouting "heads down, stay down" which is our flight attendant emergency evacuation command - and probably the only thing I've ever really shouted. He would tell me to speak and we would all comment on the results. Sometimes it was raspier, sometimes it was clearer but with an obvious strain. I did get one that was a slightly higher tone, which I told him would be fine with me if it was the best one. The one we eventually settled on was basically like my voice except clearer and louder. One of the people in a more distant part of the room even commented that it was definitely the loudest one.
They finally got it in place and stitched me back up. There is a drain under a bandage, but they said I didn't bleed very much so the drain will probably come out in the morning. I listened as they instructed the resident (?) on how to do a stitch that will allow the drain to be removed and not have to put another stitch in. Like I said, it was a really interesting process.
I spent about 2.5 hours in recovery mostly dozing and being given medicine. My room wasn't ready and eventually they took me to another room. I feel like I have done an inordinate amount of waiting today (along with my mama, Jamie, Jonathan, my Uncle Norborne, and Charity who stopped by but I couldn't see her cause I was still in recovery.) Other than that it's been a great experience. It is a very calm, friendly environment here.
I talked a lot when I first got in the room and told what I could remember before I forget all the details. Now my neck is sore. The nurse finally brought me some apple juice, broth, and medicine so I'll probably sleep soon. It's been a long and wonderful day.
I have been surrounded by love in person and via phone, facebook, email, and skype. God continues to be good to me - as He always has been - and I feel so very loved. My mama is spending the night here at the hospital with me, and we expect to be discharged in the morning when the doctors do their rounds.
Mama, Jonathan, Jamie, and I got to the hospital around 10am this morning. After a lengthy pre-op I went into surgery about 1:20pm. I had two really amusing anesthesiologists, plus three friendly doctors (or two doctors and a resident - I'm not sure), and several nurses. They used a local anesthesia along with calming/relaxing drugs. They also put cocaine (no lie) in my nose so they could stick a camera tube into my throat at different points during the surgery. Cocaine is evidently good for shrinking your nasal membranes... I was aware of everything which made the process really interesting - and not scary or disgusting at all. They answered my questions and only gave me a few times I couldn't talk or swallow. I was really impressed by Dr. Klein's experience that became evident as he was explaining things to the other two doctors.
I was wrapped up like a bug in a rug (or a crazy person in a loose straight jacket). My eyes were covered to keep the light out, but Dr. Klein did move the towels long enough to show me the gortex they were putting in my throat. They cut through the skin and moved the muscles aside to get to my thyroid cartilage. I think they ended up cutting a little bit of the muscle away for easier access. Then they removed a 3mm x 5mm piece of cartilage to make a window to my right vocal cord.
At this point they began testing pressure in different places to find out where they would eventually put the implant. I would count to 10, hold a low eeeee sound, occasionally a high one, and shout. We eventually settled on shouting "heads down, stay down" which is our flight attendant emergency evacuation command - and probably the only thing I've ever really shouted. He would tell me to speak and we would all comment on the results. Sometimes it was raspier, sometimes it was clearer but with an obvious strain. I did get one that was a slightly higher tone, which I told him would be fine with me if it was the best one. The one we eventually settled on was basically like my voice except clearer and louder. One of the people in a more distant part of the room even commented that it was definitely the loudest one.
They finally got it in place and stitched me back up. There is a drain under a bandage, but they said I didn't bleed very much so the drain will probably come out in the morning. I listened as they instructed the resident (?) on how to do a stitch that will allow the drain to be removed and not have to put another stitch in. Like I said, it was a really interesting process.
I spent about 2.5 hours in recovery mostly dozing and being given medicine. My room wasn't ready and eventually they took me to another room. I feel like I have done an inordinate amount of waiting today (along with my mama, Jamie, Jonathan, my Uncle Norborne, and Charity who stopped by but I couldn't see her cause I was still in recovery.) Other than that it's been a great experience. It is a very calm, friendly environment here.
I talked a lot when I first got in the room and told what I could remember before I forget all the details. Now my neck is sore. The nurse finally brought me some apple juice, broth, and medicine so I'll probably sleep soon. It's been a long and wonderful day.
I have been surrounded by love in person and via phone, facebook, email, and skype. God continues to be good to me - as He always has been - and I feel so very loved. My mama is spending the night here at the hospital with me, and we expect to be discharged in the morning when the doctors do their rounds.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
On top of bro-ccoli, all covered with snow...
Recently I learned from Jonathan that you can microwave broccoli in a bowl with a little water, pour some olive oil and sea salt on it and you have a divine bit of food. It seems most people like to cook broccoli into a soggy, forest green, bit of hideousness. I was pleased to discover just a few minutes would bring that bright shade of green and perfect bite-ability that I enjoy in broccoli. I ate an entire head of it. My fingers are evidently not as skilled on the microwave keypad, or maybe I was just too impatient, so Jonathan remains the king of broccoli microwaving.
I finished a two-day trip tonight. It was easy. An Omaha overnight sandwiched in between two round trips to Ohio. Omaha has evidently had the misfortune of two blizzards in the last few weeks. There was a car in the parking lot that has been covered in snow for the last week. There were piles of snow as high as a house. Thankfully, unlike Wichita last week, the snow is still white and pretty. It was actually still falling. I thought of my younger siblings who have never seen that much snow.
This whole month I've been flying with flight attendants with are my friends. It's made a huge difference in my feelings about going to work. It's nice not to worry about being stuck in a metal tube with angry, lazy, bossy, rude, loud... You get it. Last night my fellow flight attendant and I had a pajama party complete with boxes of wine, chocolate, and a chick flick. "27 Dresses" had me reminiscing about some of the delightful weddings I've had the privilege of being in... We didn't have time to paint our nails.
I had great plans for the evening (after I got home at 9:30.) The dishwasher needs unloading. The dishwasher needs loading. I need to take the trash out. And, all my work shirts, undershirts, and socks are dirty. But, so far I've eaten random things, been made extremely uncomfortable by Michael Scott on The Office, chatted with Christine in HK, and drank some wine. There's always the morning, right?
I finished Pride and Prejudice. It was great. I want to watch the movie now.
I finished a two-day trip tonight. It was easy. An Omaha overnight sandwiched in between two round trips to Ohio. Omaha has evidently had the misfortune of two blizzards in the last few weeks. There was a car in the parking lot that has been covered in snow for the last week. There were piles of snow as high as a house. Thankfully, unlike Wichita last week, the snow is still white and pretty. It was actually still falling. I thought of my younger siblings who have never seen that much snow.
This whole month I've been flying with flight attendants with are my friends. It's made a huge difference in my feelings about going to work. It's nice not to worry about being stuck in a metal tube with angry, lazy, bossy, rude, loud... You get it. Last night my fellow flight attendant and I had a pajama party complete with boxes of wine, chocolate, and a chick flick. "27 Dresses" had me reminiscing about some of the delightful weddings I've had the privilege of being in... We didn't have time to paint our nails.
I had great plans for the evening (after I got home at 9:30.) The dishwasher needs unloading. The dishwasher needs loading. I need to take the trash out. And, all my work shirts, undershirts, and socks are dirty. But, so far I've eaten random things, been made extremely uncomfortable by Michael Scott on The Office, chatted with Christine in HK, and drank some wine. There's always the morning, right?
I finished Pride and Prejudice. It was great. I want to watch the movie now.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
rain drops on a Saturday afternoon
I'm kind of happy that it's raining today. It gives me an excuse to sit inside and drink coffee with my beau. It's my first day off in a week and feels wonderful.
Being full, happy, content and warm in times like these does make me feel a bit guilty. Last night as Jonathan and I stood in my apartment we watched the police tape off an area on the bridge where Peachtree Street crosses I-85. It was confirmed this morning that a man had committed suicide by jumping off the bridge onto the interstate below. I always have a hard time understanding how someone can feel so hopeless and unhappy that they actively want to die, but now, in light of the disaster in Haiti this week, it is even harder for me to understand why someone would choose to end their life. How can millions of people be fighting for survival in one place and a person is giving up in another place?
The last few weeks have repeatedly made me realize how fortunate I am. We spent about 2 weeks in below freezing weather here in Atlanta. I would come home from a trip, turn the heat on, and smell the distinctive smell of heat. How many people in the world have never smelled mechanically produced heat? How many people will never know the instant warmth of a hot shower? We are spoiled people.
I was at a restaurant last night having dinner with Jonathan and another couple and we saw the images of suffering in Haiti on tv. I wanted to turn away, to not let those pictures stick in my mind. They are unpleasant and uncomfortable. But what is my mental discomfort compared to the loss of these people? I hope I can never ignore the suffering of others. I also hope that I don't just sit around and appreciate how great my life is. If my discomfort doesn't lead to action on behalf of others, then I am a sad person.
On a more cheerful note, I am reading "Pride and Prejudice" for the first time. I can see why it is such a classic. In spite of the fancy language, it's actually quite funny and charming.
I met a man on my last flight yesterday who made me feel happy for marriage. He has been married 30 years and said he was probably just as excited to get home and see his wife as I was to see Jonathan. He said she is his best friend and that the trip they just took would have been so much more fun if she could have come. She is a very straight forward woman, which helps because they always both know where they stand with each other. When they first got married as juniors in high school people placed bets on their marriage only last 8months - a year max. I hope they collected on those bets.
Being full, happy, content and warm in times like these does make me feel a bit guilty. Last night as Jonathan and I stood in my apartment we watched the police tape off an area on the bridge where Peachtree Street crosses I-85. It was confirmed this morning that a man had committed suicide by jumping off the bridge onto the interstate below. I always have a hard time understanding how someone can feel so hopeless and unhappy that they actively want to die, but now, in light of the disaster in Haiti this week, it is even harder for me to understand why someone would choose to end their life. How can millions of people be fighting for survival in one place and a person is giving up in another place?
The last few weeks have repeatedly made me realize how fortunate I am. We spent about 2 weeks in below freezing weather here in Atlanta. I would come home from a trip, turn the heat on, and smell the distinctive smell of heat. How many people in the world have never smelled mechanically produced heat? How many people will never know the instant warmth of a hot shower? We are spoiled people.
I was at a restaurant last night having dinner with Jonathan and another couple and we saw the images of suffering in Haiti on tv. I wanted to turn away, to not let those pictures stick in my mind. They are unpleasant and uncomfortable. But what is my mental discomfort compared to the loss of these people? I hope I can never ignore the suffering of others. I also hope that I don't just sit around and appreciate how great my life is. If my discomfort doesn't lead to action on behalf of others, then I am a sad person.
On a more cheerful note, I am reading "Pride and Prejudice" for the first time. I can see why it is such a classic. In spite of the fancy language, it's actually quite funny and charming.
I met a man on my last flight yesterday who made me feel happy for marriage. He has been married 30 years and said he was probably just as excited to get home and see his wife as I was to see Jonathan. He said she is his best friend and that the trip they just took would have been so much more fun if she could have come. She is a very straight forward woman, which helps because they always both know where they stand with each other. When they first got married as juniors in high school people placed bets on their marriage only last 8months - a year max. I hope they collected on those bets.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I'm annoyed
The music in the Houston Airport reminds me of what they play before funerals. The tinny organ sound. The uninteresting melody. Where is the body?
Today is day four of six. I did it to myself. I think just knowing I get off work at 9pm and have to be back before 8am is filling me with a sense of annoyance. I was annoyed at the long dark hairs that were in my bed last night. Annoyed that the captain made us leave the hotel so early this morning that we've been at the airport now for almost an hour and the plane still isn't even here. I ordered a sausage biscuit which, according to the sign, included egg. When I got the biscuit all it was was a piece of sausage on a biscuit. I went back and the guy said - you ordered a sausage biscuit. Yeah, but I thought the freaking egg came with it since the sign says it does. As I'm eating my biscuit I see a couple walk past. I think they might be cast members on Jersey Shore, which I have never watched, but I know the type. She is wearing a tshirt, oversize baseball cap, black aviators (inside a building at 10am), white sweatpants and black uggs. I'm so annoyed already that I want to go tell her to take her aviators off and look in the mirror because they must be obscuring her vision and making her think she looks good.
Our plane is here so I'm going to go put on my happy face and go to work. I'm sure it's going to be a fabulous day :)
Today is day four of six. I did it to myself. I think just knowing I get off work at 9pm and have to be back before 8am is filling me with a sense of annoyance. I was annoyed at the long dark hairs that were in my bed last night. Annoyed that the captain made us leave the hotel so early this morning that we've been at the airport now for almost an hour and the plane still isn't even here. I ordered a sausage biscuit which, according to the sign, included egg. When I got the biscuit all it was was a piece of sausage on a biscuit. I went back and the guy said - you ordered a sausage biscuit. Yeah, but I thought the freaking egg came with it since the sign says it does. As I'm eating my biscuit I see a couple walk past. I think they might be cast members on Jersey Shore, which I have never watched, but I know the type. She is wearing a tshirt, oversize baseball cap, black aviators (inside a building at 10am), white sweatpants and black uggs. I'm so annoyed already that I want to go tell her to take her aviators off and look in the mirror because they must be obscuring her vision and making her think she looks good.
Our plane is here so I'm going to go put on my happy face and go to work. I'm sure it's going to be a fabulous day :)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Oh the weather everywhere is frightful
A little girl got on the flight last night coming out to Wichita, Kansas. She was wearing sparkly red shoes. I thought it was very appropriate. I wonder if she clicked them and then her mom bought a plane ticket.
I just walked about two miles in 27 degree weather with snow flurrying in my face to pay someone to rip hair off my body. I find it amusing how willing people are to share personal information when you're at their mercy.
I'm in the middle of a trip that is payback for not working at Christmas time. I played then so now I must earn some money. It's been a good trip. I'm just glad that (as of right now) I don't have to get up at 4am for at least another month.
It seems that the whole United States has settled into a nice cozy upper twenties environment. It was 23 in Ft. Walton Beach, 25 in Atlanta, and now 27 in Wichita. I feel like I might be getting used to it, but it might just be the many layers of clothes I constantly wear that is allowing me to ignore reality. Going to the bathroom on a regional jet wearing a scarf, pea coat, sweater, vest, dress shirt, undershirt, bra, slacks, thermals, underwear, knee-high wools socks, and boots should now be considered an Olympic sport. I'm thinking about getting a catheter just for the winter.
I've been trying to eat more fruit and vegetables lately. It's making me realizing how much crap I eat. I also eat a lot out of boredom. Flying will do that to you.
I just walked about two miles in 27 degree weather with snow flurrying in my face to pay someone to rip hair off my body. I find it amusing how willing people are to share personal information when you're at their mercy.
I'm in the middle of a trip that is payback for not working at Christmas time. I played then so now I must earn some money. It's been a good trip. I'm just glad that (as of right now) I don't have to get up at 4am for at least another month.
It seems that the whole United States has settled into a nice cozy upper twenties environment. It was 23 in Ft. Walton Beach, 25 in Atlanta, and now 27 in Wichita. I feel like I might be getting used to it, but it might just be the many layers of clothes I constantly wear that is allowing me to ignore reality. Going to the bathroom on a regional jet wearing a scarf, pea coat, sweater, vest, dress shirt, undershirt, bra, slacks, thermals, underwear, knee-high wools socks, and boots should now be considered an Olympic sport. I'm thinking about getting a catheter just for the winter.
I've been trying to eat more fruit and vegetables lately. It's making me realizing how much crap I eat. I also eat a lot out of boredom. Flying will do that to you.
Monday, January 4, 2010
I'm nuts for butternut
Tonight I made some delightful butternut squash soup thanks to advice from Adri and Christine and just plain luck. It was fun and tasty. I think I put too much sage (I prefer savory butternut to sweet) so it reminds me a little of Thanksgiving, but it's still so good I made toast just so I could sop up what was left in the blender.
We're having some frightfully cold weather here in Atlanta. I'm not a fan at all. I have the heat set on 67 and it has been running constantly for days. I'm also wearing smartwool socks, slippers, pants, and three shirts. I have to do a round trip to Valdosta tomorrow morning and am dreading it. It's easy money but it's so cold I'd rather be snug in bed.
Today I did a whole lot of busy stuff. I bought vegetables, broth, lemons, and cereal at Trader Joe's so I can eat consistently and healthily this week. Cooking for yourself is not only cheap and healthy, but it gives such a sense of accomplishment.
It's a good thing I'm eating cheap because I spent $50 today to get my FMLA paperwork filled out. I don't understand how they justify it. It's not like they're doing me a favor. I could understand if that was the case, but it's not something I can do myself. They leave you no choice. I was also reminded that my surgery will be followed by a 24hr observation stay in the hospital. I've never stayed in the hospital since I can remember. One more thing to add to the nerves of it. I'm sure it'll be fine and wonderful.
Sometimes I like to look out my window and pretend that the peach on top of the building across the street from me is a big harvest moon. Works better if I take my contacts off.
On that note, it's time to iron the collar and sleeves of my work shirt and go to sleep.
We're having some frightfully cold weather here in Atlanta. I'm not a fan at all. I have the heat set on 67 and it has been running constantly for days. I'm also wearing smartwool socks, slippers, pants, and three shirts. I have to do a round trip to Valdosta tomorrow morning and am dreading it. It's easy money but it's so cold I'd rather be snug in bed.
Today I did a whole lot of busy stuff. I bought vegetables, broth, lemons, and cereal at Trader Joe's so I can eat consistently and healthily this week. Cooking for yourself is not only cheap and healthy, but it gives such a sense of accomplishment.
It's a good thing I'm eating cheap because I spent $50 today to get my FMLA paperwork filled out. I don't understand how they justify it. It's not like they're doing me a favor. I could understand if that was the case, but it's not something I can do myself. They leave you no choice. I was also reminded that my surgery will be followed by a 24hr observation stay in the hospital. I've never stayed in the hospital since I can remember. One more thing to add to the nerves of it. I'm sure it'll be fine and wonderful.
Sometimes I like to look out my window and pretend that the peach on top of the building across the street from me is a big harvest moon. Works better if I take my contacts off.
On that note, it's time to iron the collar and sleeves of my work shirt and go to sleep.
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