I've got sunshine on a cloudy day

It was raining when I woke up this morning.

It's still raining.

I don't mind because it's warm rain, and the sound is soothing.

I worked at job part two tonight. It was a good night. It was a 50th birthday party in a very ritzy neighborhood. There was an open bar which made the crowd amusing. My coworker was good to talk to.

I'm sleeping on a new mattress tonight. I've been sleeping on a passed down futon mattress for a while now. It was flat and hard but better than my other mattress which I called my taco mattress. It sunk down in the middle and swallowed me up. I feel like Goldilocks - not too soft, not too hard. This one is just right.

I'm going to go enjoy it now.

You'll be wrapped around my finger

It's Thanksgiving Eve.

I feel like I've done a lot today, but most of it has been planning and organizing. Though I don't have much to show for it physically it gives me great satisfaction. I bought a new planner so I can begin organizing next year. I'm not really sure why I like writing all my activities down so much. Maybe I'm afraid if I don't write them down my life will go to pieces. I do know that if I didn't write them down I'd pick up a trip that conflicted with my other job, someone's birthday dinner, a dentist's appointment, or something of the sort.

I've been reading back through my blogs and found one from 9.26.06 where I was thrilled to see gas prices in the low $2.30s. I paid $1.67 the other day. It's a far cry from a few months ago.

I can't get rid of this cold. It's affecting my ability to write a complete paragraph in under 20 minutes. I have sneezed at least 592 times today.

I got new contacts this morning. I can see better. I now have toric lenses in both eyes.

I spent a long time this afternoon talking to Christine about things I could make to take to Thanksgiving tomorrow. She amuses me. I think I'm going to make a broccoli salad that I saw on one of the food blogs she subscribes to.

I feel very tired for no reason.

Yesterday I worked for the first time in 10 days. I just did a round trip to South Bend and to Jacksonville, NC. It wasn't bad, but I'm glad I have another 5 days before I fly again. I'm spoiled.

All my younger siblings are at home. I'm going to go see them soon.

I also have to get the ingredients for the broccoli salad.

I need to go out and get in Thanksgiving mode. My life is so good. It'd be a shame to forget that for one second.

Thanksgiving warm up

After a day of heartless weeding through all my clothes, I now have almost 50 empty hangers and three bags of clothes to get rid of. I decided I was tired of not being able to walk in my room and turned to the person I know who has the least stuff and begged him to help me get rid of mine. It was like having my own personal Stacey and Clinton. He told me what clothes were ugly, which ones didn't fit right, which ones I was too old for, and which ones he just didn't like. It was awesome. There were only a few we disagreed on, and the thrill of getting rid of clothes I never wore won over my sentimentality. I still have a lot to do in here, but huge progress was made.

I'm still dealing with this stupid cold. It's been wonderful to be able to relax and give my body time to get some better. I have to work tomorrow, but it's only a dayline so I'm pretty sure I can handle it.

We had House Thanksgiving on Saturday night. It was amazing except they called J to sit at the airport til 9:30pm, then sent him on a round trip so we thought he'd be back in time for dinner, then extended him to an overnight so he didn't get to be there at all. Molly made a huge turkey. I helped her make a pumpkin and a pecan pie, candied yams, and the best stuffing ever invented. It has sausage, apples, celery, and bread chunks in it. And lots of sage. We both agreed stuffing isn't stuffing without sage. I also made mashed potatoes. We had cosmo champagne cocktails that were delightful.

After we stuffed ourselves silly, Molly taught us the card game Hell. I'd like to blame my miserable loss on my food coma, but Molly is just really good. She also has the advantage of having played it since she was old enough to sit at a table. It's a very fast paced game and involved a lot of yelling, screaming, and threats of physical harm. I believe this game is a prime example of how women are better multi-taskers than men. Most of the guys at the table would sit and stare at one card they were looking for a place for while the whole rest of the game was going on. Our stomachs finally settled enough to eat pie topped with Molly's delicious homeade whipped cream.

I had leftovers for dinner last night and again for lunch and dinner today. I think we just finished off the last of the pie.

Yesterday was coffee with Jersey, church, then lunch with Tanya, J and the parents. After lunch J and I went to Jersey's to play handypersons. I accomplished a grand total of nothing and J got her new tv going. (Okay, I did accomplish something, but it wasn't the main thing I worked on for two hours. The blinds were too short and the screws were too long. Not my fault.)

Now I'm enjoying some house family time. I'm being encouraged to insert random profanity in here to see if someone notices. My roommate doesn't realize how astute my readers are.

this and that

I have started several blogs this week, and usually before I get much written I have lost concentration or fallen asleep. I'm kind of sick right now. I think it's the usual cold/sinus thing. That's probably why I've been tired all the time. I sleep late and still need a nap to get through the day.

I haven't worked since last Saturday, and it's amazing.

Last Sunday we had birthday dinner for my Mama and some of her friends came over. Almost 20 of them actually. I'm proud of myself for not burning anything or poisoning anyone (not that I've ever done either of those things before). I think she had a good birthday, which was the point of it all.

Monday through Thursday were spent in San Diego with Jonathan celebrating his birthday. We mostly hung out with his friend Tarik, but got to see Peter a few times as well. There's much to tell about our fun trip, but I don't have the energy right now.

Today is House Thanksgiving at the Jones house. Molly and I have been cooking lots of good things. I think we've finished all the stuff that can be done ahead of time, so I'm going to take a nap.

Currently reading : Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time By Greg Mortenson

At long last

Today I ended a relationship that I have been in since I was in college.

This relationship began during my freshman year. I was wary at first because of the reputation my acquaintance carried, but I knew if I kept things under control I would be fine. We continued casually through my college years, and it wasn't until I moved to Europe that our relationship truly began to deepen. When I was lonely we found ways to make things better. When I was happy we celebrated together. When I needed to move on, the bus or train ticket was always there. It allowed me to see and do things I could never have done on my own, and the longer I was gone, the more my need for this relationship grew.

What I didn't know, though, was that the hand opening doors and nudging me forward was also the hand that would never be satisfied with what I gave in return. Whenever I made a mistake it was held against me and cost me dearly. When I finally came home, because of the level to which our relationship had grown, I was very restricted. I could no longer do as I pleased. Instead of freedom, I now had a burden. As I lost interest, they gained interest. This continued on through my first year as a flight attendant, and I knew something had to change.

Over the next two years I began putting distance between us. I started to play by my rules and found that when I was consistent, and persistent, my life improved. I wanted to end it sooner, but knew there were things I had to do to be able to stand on my own. At 5:15 this morning, after a lot of hard work and giving up things I loved and wanted, it is finally over.

My credit card debt is now $0.

I can't say I feel relieved, because I still find it hard to believe it's really over. My debt has been a controlling factor in my life for years and years now, so I think it will only really sink in when I start to see my freedom again.

I will always be appreciative of this relationship, because without it I would've never lived in Europe. I would still be hoping and dreaming of the day when I could afford to move, travel, and be free. I still have a relationship with one of his relatives (the car loan guys), but it is much healthier. I'm also glad to know how much I've grown in my relationship with my money over the last few years because of this. I've learned how important it is for me to keep my end of the deal - on time. I've learned how important it is to know the rules and to play by them. I've learned to stand up for myself when I'm being mistreated.

It's been a long, tiring road, and I'm thankful for those who have encouraged me when working two jobs was miserable. I'm thankful that the Lord honored my desire to be out of debt, and made a way for me to accomplish it. I'm thankful to be free.

strong legs and full bellies

I just received a phone call from a man. I had called him earlier, gotten voicemail, and hung up. He called me back, and I asked for the person I was originally looking for. He stated the name of the person whose number I had called - not the person I was looking for. I apologized for the wrong number, but before I could hang up he started explaining how relieved he was because he thought I was a bill collector. The question I have now is why he would call back if he thought I was a bill collecter?

This is the end of a great weekend. Yesterday I ran my first race - the Children's Healthcare of Atlanta Strong Legs 10k. I really enjoyed it and plan on doing another before too long. We started at Turner Field and ran a loop that took us north before coming back to Turner. We passed the MLK memorial and quite a bit of the ghetto. As we ran past two soup lines I couldn't help but think how far they would get just on the cost of my shoes and clothing. (Before I could feel bad about it, I remembered that many of them choose to be homeless and live without responsibility.) The hills were challenging but doable. The weather was cold but refreshing. Michal, Jonathan, Angela, Charity, and one of our old friends Sarah ran. Michal had her own personal cheerleader, Claire, and Mama was the team photographer and stuff holder. Michal beat all of us, though I have to be fair to Jonathan and mention that he ran at my pace. Our friend Sarah, who has a 6 month old, was far ahead of me until the last mile. I didn't check the time as I finished and the results aren't out yet, but I think it was under 1:10. It was slower than I'd expected, but I'm beginning to think my Nike+ thing on my ipod isn't calibrated right - so maybe I haven't been running as fast as I thought I was. Regardless, we had a good time. I'm really pleased I did it, and am looking forward to more.

Today is Jamie's birthday, so we had a gathering to celebrate at the Residence a la TanJoe last night. Even after most of us spent the afternoon napping, we only managed to hang out til around 11. I think we are definitely getting old. Joe did a fine job manning the grill, as well as keeping the firepit thoroughly doused in gasoline for all our s'moring pleasure. Tanya made sure we were all fat and happy with potato salad, baked beans, and cheesecake.

I've spent the evening (again) working on my room. It never gets clean. Sometimes I just don't care anymore. After the lovely day at church, and the afternoon with the parents, Michal, and Jonathan, I have very little motivation to do anything except veg. My mama outdid herself again with lunch. We had basmati rice, chicken that had been in the crockpot with mushroom soup so it was really juicy and tender, black-eyed peas, sweet potatoes, green beans, and fresh tomatoes. She cooks the green beans in a wok with garlic and I could eat them until I'm sick. Then Michal made brownies. Mmmm...

It's back to work tomorrow for a 2-day. It's going to be a good week. I have work stories, but I'll save them for another day - maybe tomorrow.

smooth sailing

I had a good day at work today. I don't say that very often so I feel the need to document it. I even did six flights, and it was still a good day. I slept enough last night. The weather was good. Our plane was good. We kept it all day. We were on time all day. The passengers were friendly. There isn't very much more that you could ask for in a day of flying.

Tomorrow it's another early start and four more flights, but then I don't fly again until Friday. I need a few days off. The weekend was great, but way too short.

After I got off work on Saturday I made a quick trip to the dentist's office where Kristen temporarily patched my tooth. I was eating some Nerds on Friday at work when I came across one that was particularly hard. I finally spit it out and saw that it was part of my tooth. It really alarmed me that I'm so young and my teeth are falling apart. Someone suggested I sue Nerds.

Once my tooth was fixed a found some paint to whiten the cardboard squares Matt had cut out. Then I fought with markers (evidently they don't like to write over spray paint) and made the squares into Scrabble letters - B, O, and O. I then made them into sandwich boards, and Matt, Molly and I wore them to a Halloween party. The letters on the back were S, A, and S (not in that order). It was good fun, and everyone was amused.

Sunday was a good day of church and family. Had one of my mama's healthy and tasty meals. Drove a little with Michal. Chatted with my daddy. I'm very fortunate to be able to do each of these things.

I forgot to mention that on Friday in Flint I ran 6.25 mi/ 10k. The conditions were perfect and I felt good. Hopefully I can repeat that this coming Saturday.

San Diego Peter style

This is the abbreviated version of my trip to San Diego:

To see Peter I flew on a plane
the homeless were all quite insane
we ate a burrito
and to the beach we did go
And the sun shone without any rain

If that isn't enough you can keep reading.

I made the flight to San Diego by the seat of my pants. I understand that it's a wonderful place to go, but I don't understand why every flight, regardless of the time of day or day of week, is oversold. Getting on a flight under these circumstances makes me feel like I've gotten away with something naughty, and I can never relax until the plane has pushed back from the gate and I know I'm not going to be caught.

I left Georgia in a jacket, scarf, long sleeves, jeans, and enclosed shoes, and within minutes of landing in SD I was sweating. It was warm and sunshiney the whole time I was out there. It did get a little chilly at night, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. After being in Massachusetts where it was threatening to snow last week, this was perfect. I wonder if the amount of sunshine in San Diego has any positive impact on depression. I can't imagine being depressed in a place like that.

I've been to San Diego quite a few times, but this trip was different. In the past I've always visited Roya - who has a car. Now she and her car have moved to LA. So, this time, our sweet ride was public transportation. It was nice to be able to see the city the way Peter sees it and do the things he does. Using public transportation introduced me to a completely different side of San Diego - the homeless side. I can tell that Peter is getting used to it when he casually mentions "the homeless lady who lives in Starbucks". There are homeless people everywhere, and based on the previous paragraph, I can't blame them. There probably aren't that many big cities in the US that rarely freeze and have sunny days year round.

Everywhere we went there were homeless people. I passed a man passed out on the grass beside the sidewalk when I went running. There was the lady around the corner with the shopping cart and sparkly eye mask who, according to Peter, has breath that can span a Starbucks counter with its foulness. There was the lady on the bus with the crazy hair and odd clothing. She only had a few bags and we wondered where she kept the rest of her stuff while she was riding the bus around all day. It got to the point where I couldn't tell if someone was just dirty, or if they were homeless. One man was wearing shorts and a tshirt and every visible part of his skin was soot covered. Peter said he's always dirty like that. It looked like he'd been rolling in one of the coal bins that San Diegans use to heat their houses during the frigid winters.

Some were begging. Some were just hanging out on the sidewalk. There doesn't seem to be an age limit for being homeless. We passed an RV parked on the street. Its owner had opened the side door, and it was completely full of junk. Evidently this is common as well. I thought that after growing up in Atlanta I was immune to beggars and homeless people, but the size of San Diego's homeless population makes it hard not to notice. I wish I could say I was filled compassion and a desire to help them, but the truth is, I just want to know their stories. I want to know how someone gets to that point. I want to know how they find enough food every day to live. I want to know what they were in their past lives. I want to know why they collect so much trash. Are they riding the trolley on hope that no one checks their tickets? Are they content with their lives as they are? After a few days in the city, I've come to feel that the homeless are as much a part of the landscape as the palm trees and the seagulls.

Speaking of palm trees... Our first stop in San Diego was cleverly named Ocean Beach. We got there late in the afternoon when the light was perfect for taking pictures. We mocked the pregnant couple who was having pictures taken by the pier. The water was cold, the sand dark, and the seaweed was heavy on the beach - quite a change from my last trip to the beach. Ocean Beach seems to be a surfer/tourist town based on the number of surfers, bars, and cheap gift shops. Shopping and people watching is always fun with Peter. We tend to like the same things, and like to make fun of the same things. When it comes down to it, we're snobs and heartless jerks. And we love it. The rest of the day was spent eating burritos and tacos, trying not to get killed on the darkened water front, and listening to Peter sing the Phantom of the Opera in French.

Monday began in Little Italy, where the sandwiches are scrumptious, the delis delightful, and the grafitti grotesque. Phrases such as "poopy pants" were splattered everywhere! We spent a lot of time in an art store imagining things we would draw or paint. Our wandering led us to the waterfront where we wandered more. The boats started out small and dilapidated. We even saw the boat version of the homeless person's shopping cart. As we walked along the water we saw an interesting collection of "trees". According to Peter they were "sculptural renderings based on each artist's interpretation of what a tree could represent". Some of the ones that caught my eye were a swordfish whose scales were made of old cds, a pole with spiral steps that ascended to heaven, a dragon, a swirling music staff without any notes, and a palm tree with surboards for fronds.

The boat gradually got bigger and fancier until we reached the cruise ships. We mocked people who were taking pictures of ships they were going on, and then we took a few. Further around the bay the USS Midway (an aircraft carrier) has been made into a museum. Being an aerosexual, I have a feeling I will visit it before too long. Our goal at this point, though, was to get to the statue of the sailor kissing the nurse. It's so big that I was about the size of her shoe. The statue is on a point of land that sticks out into the bay near the Midway. There is also a Bob Hope memorial, and Peter and I made short work of using the metal statues for our photographic amusement. Did I mention that we're jerks? No hearts - either of us.

We continued to follow our feet to the gaslamp district where we had natural frozen yogurt with raspberries at Pinkberry before catching the trolley back home. It was a beautiful day to be touring an interesting city. We finished the day by watching Amelie.

Tuesday Peter had class so I waited at home while he went downtown. I went for a run, but it was really lame. I think it was because I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since early the night before. Then we went back to Ocean Beach and walked up to Sunset Cliffs where - surprise, surprise - we watched the sunset. The cliffs seemed to be quite the popular place for running. Peter and I discussed walking abreast so they would have to run through the succulents. We discussed a great many deep things such as why the surfers 30 feet below us had skateboards with them and which car full of old people was the smell of weed coming from. Later, in celebration of Peter's one year anniversary in San Diego, we had Thai food.

I tried to catch the red-eye home Tuesday night, but missed it by 2 seats. Six hours later I was back at the airport and ended up getting on the first flight - by the skin of my teeth once again. It's a good thing I like Peter, otherwise I'd never try to non-rev to San Diego again ;-). Wednesday afternoon, dirty and tired, I was met at the gate in Atlanta by J which made me very happy. Even after a funny and fun visit with my favorite little brother, it's nice to be back home. I just wish I could bring the sunshine and Peter back with me.