little fishies

Today I'm in Sioux Falls, SD again. I need to go for a run, and am trying to plot my course. In the meantime I'm listening to the coffee maker sputter and putting lotion on my sunburned face.

This time yesterday I spent two hours on one of the most beautiful beaches I have been to. I brought a book - "The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency" - but had to stop reading frequently. I felt like it was wrong of me to be in such a beautiful place and send my mind somewhere else.

I've been to many beaches, and I've been to that particular beach many times, but yesterday was perfect. There weren't very many people, so for the most part, I heard nothing but the waves and the birds. The sand was clean, soft, and white. The water was so clear I could see the little holes the sea creatures dig on the bottom and schools of fish scurrying around. The fish were the same color as the water when it makes a ripple of a wave and goes from clear to shiny, pale turquoise. The sun was out - but not too bright - and there was a breeze just cool enough to make you appreciate the sun's presence. The gulf was smooth and the waves on top were replicated by the waves in the sand underneath. I think they were there just for texture.

A family eventually came out and set up camp to the right of me. There were two pre-adolescent girls with braids to their waists and swim shirts and shorts on. Everyone in the group had on shorts with shirts or one-pieces. I felt that I was watching myself 20 years ago. The littlest girl would come out of the water every ten minutes or so and run up one end of the beach and down the other to chase all the birds away. I wonder why children like to chase birds away. Maybe, for once, they feel powerful.

I grew up in an environment where a lot of emphasis was placed on appearance (clothing and hair especially). My family and I have long since realized that these things are not what's important, but it is always interesting for me to see people who still believe this. I have no criticism for these people, but watching them I sometimes feel like the fish that escaped the fishbowl and now has the whole sea to swim in. I know what it's like on the inside. I know what they think when they see me in my bikini. I know that I am much happier this way.

I felt so fortunate to be spending a few hours surrounded by such beauty and tried to soak in as much as possible. In visiting between Ft. Walton Beach, the detectives in Botswana, and the fishbowl I forgot how much delightful sun I was soaking in and now have an uneven, raccoon-eye-causing sunburn. It was worth it.

Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

I don't know why I like Sioux Falls so much. It helps that it's summer and therefore warm. I like midwesterners. They're tough and friendly. They don't complain about stupid things. They don't expect the world of you.

We got here last night. I read about half of "Brave New World" and was asleep by 11:30. I ran 3 miles yesterday and I can tell that it's helping me sleep better. I feel so much better when I exercise and sleep.

Today I got up and walked a mile to a coffee shop called Black Sheep Roasting Company. I read about it on yelp.com. I paid $1 (no tax) for my first cup, which was a Tanzania Pearberry, and 50 cents for the refill - some kind of sumatra. I nearly finished my book, but by the time I got close I was too jittery from coffee and couldn't concentrate.

On the way over I passed a strip of stores. Each one's name was in a different language or represented a different region of the world - Tienda del bien Samaratino (my loose remembrance), Sengalese something, one in characters I didn't recognize. While I was in the coffee shop I was amazed by the numbers of African men coming and going. Some had intentional scars on their faces. They spoke in different languages and greeted each other with handshakes and cheek kisses. It always amazes to come to a place as obscure and cold as South Dakota and find a huge African population. I've seen the same thing in Portland, ME. It makes me wonder how they got here - and why here?

I walked the mile back to the hotel then tried to go for a run. It was pretty lame. It's surprisingly hot and I was surprisingly unmotivated. As much as I don't like treadmills, I think it's good for me to see the distance ticking by. Then I can shame myself into not stopping when I see that I've only been running for .75 miles.

The rest of my day has been blissfully restful. I finished the book and bought two more from a used book store. I just finished my supper of leftover spaghetti. I've developed this habit lately of adding random ingredients to basic dishes. That's how I have onions, spinach, and tomato chunks in my spaghetti. I also bought a Putamayo Kids African Dreamland cd. I'm looking forward to being lulled to sleep by it tonight.

Sunday morning minutes

Days like today make me wish I was a morning person. I got up in time to eat breakfast, get online, floss my teeth, and be on time to the early service at Buckhead Church. There's a lot less church traffic that time of day (even though I still feel like a little mouse in the big maze of that church and its garages and walkways). Now I'm at home, drinking coffee, paying the last of my bills for the month (the stupid kind that involves writing a check and mailing it), and waiting for J to get released so I can pick him up and drive to the homestead. This is usually the time I'm rolling into church (late) and I've already done so much today.

I heard the last message in the series "Losing Your Religion". I feel like it's pretty appropriate for where I am in my life. It presents Christianity in a way that separates it from religion. It seems most people I know (myself included) have already had religion and realized it doesn't free you from the law and your guilt, or they have chosen to reject religion because it doesn't get you anywhere. Without going through the whole series, it explains why we don't need religion - we need a Savior. It's a very interesting and powerful series.

The last few days have been restful and productive. I was able to cross a lot of things off my to do lists. I'm realizing that the longer things stay on my list the more of a burden they become. A small chore left on there for a month becomes a Goliath to me simply by its perpetual presence. I mended a lot of clothes that I've had piled in my closet while watching "The Sound of Music" last night. It's amazing the sense of accomplishment I get by running a needle and thread through some fabric and knowing I've fixed something.

I've also been having a mini pre-midlife midlife crisis. It's been good for me to assess where I am and where I want to be. Right now I want to be at my parents' house with my local family and hopefully J.

I'm thankful that God's love for me is unfair.