party time.

So today is a day that I have looked forward to for almost a year now. I've hoped for it. Survived long days, long nights, and long trips because of it. I've endured early morning calls, late night calls, "Grace, you're extended for 3 days" calls to get to it. It has been the thing that holds my tongue when I want to tell scheduling where to go.

It's my last day of reserve. About 2 hours ago I made my last (at least for a month) call to be released from my last (at least for a month) reserve trip. This morning my heart went into panic mode at being woken up to Beethoven's Fifth (scheduling's ringtone) for the last time (at least for a month). I said goodbye to two of my less fortunate classmates who didn't get lines next month. One did the same round trip as me today and got extended tonight. The other was waiting to do a nap.

I am now a free woman and I'm celebrating it in style. I came home from work and got ready to go to the pool by myself. Mysteriously, my beach towel was soaking wet as was my pool skirt. I went out to the pool and talked to two little girls from Uruguay until their mom made them go inside. We talked about foods we liked and the little one loves macaroni and cheese so I came inside craving some and am now dining on easy mac. I don't have any of the boxed or real stuff, which is fine since I don't have milk or cheese.I had some vegetables once upon a time but they seem to be gone. So basically, the day I've looked forward to for a year is here and nearly gone. And so is my easy mac. It's okay. It wasn't that good anyway. At least the kids on the Breakfast Club are sorting their lives out together.

growing obsession

Yesterday as I was leaving the parking lot at work, I saw something that, had it been possible would have stopped me in my tracks (except I was driving). I was coming around a curve that would leave me running parallel to the airport and as I did I saw my personal favorite airplane taking off. It's the Korean Air 747. This airplane is beautiful. It's light blue and one of the biggest airplanes I've ever seen. I don't even know if I can describe the way it looked and felt. As I came around the curve there was an embankment in front of me and just at that time the plane was coming off the runway and became visible over the edge of the embankment. It felt like it was right on top of me and the sound was defeaning. But it was an exciting sound. A powerful sound. How else could something that huge ever get off the ground? It went directly over the roof of my car and I lost sight of it. I wanted to stop and watch it but had to keep driving and the next I saw it, it was fully in the air and well on its way.

I couldn't believe how it made me feel. I've known for a while I was becoming an airplane nerd. I've learned to recognize most of Delta's airplanes (mainline and connections) and some of the other more distinctive ones, but this was something else. My stomach felt funny and I felt like I was getting goosebumps (over an airplane!!! Yes, it scares me as well).

I've always thought airplanes, while in the sky are so beautiful. They are graceful and fly hundreds of miles an hour, leaving lovely little trails after them. But when I started working at the airport and was closer to the airplanes it kind of made me laugh. Airplanes on the ground are like beached whales. A whale, while in the water, is one of the most graceful things. To see them swimming, turning and flipping through the water it's hard to remember that they are 100 tons of blubber. They seem so at ease and in control. In my eyes, an airplane on the ground is a whale with tiny little feet. You see why it makes me laugh? Once they're in the air and the wheels are up, they are in their element - graceful and beautiful again. When I'm working it never ceases to amaze me when I feel the exact moment that the 25-35 tons of metal I'm sitting in lifts off the ground and becomes airborne.

I texted one of my Kentucky boys with the confession that I was more of an airplane nerd than I ever imagined. His reply was "welcome to the club, now you need to start taking lessons." He isn't the first person to tell me that either. Hmmm... Maybe one of these days when I'm a big baller .

productivity is overrated

Two blogs in one afternoon... You were warned. I'm pretty much that bored. I'm watching Forrest Gump and it's funny cause there are so many more things that I pick up on now as opposed to the first time I watched it. It's even better than I remembered.

I deadheaded to XNA last night and rode next to a guy on his way home from business in Italy. He started asking me what things bugged flight attendants so he could be a better passenger. I'm a fairly laid back flight attendant so in general not many things bother me. (Of course every now and then everything bothers me.) It got me thinking though.. I hate when you ask them if they would like peanuts, cookies, or crackers, and they say, do you have pretzels?? I'm like, don't you think I would have mentioned them if I had them?? Idiot. Or when people get on with all their bags and are like, well it fit in the overhead on the last plane. This is usually their second sentence. Their first one being "Oh my goodness! This plane is so tiny!!" Oh yeah, and when people put their trash on their tray table and when you come by with the trash bag they look at you, then at their trash, then back at you again. I'm like, do you really think I want to touch your disgusting trash? Especially after you put your mouth all over your cup? Can I PLEASE have your diseases? I am there to serve people but I'm not their freaking slave.

I'm going to finish this now so I can spend some quality time watching tv with my roommates. I'm also very hungry so that is the next main item on my agenda.

muddy worms and confused flies

PS. I've edited and added stuff to this like 4 times. I'm finished now.

I just got back from spending the second Saturday night in a row in Fayetteville, AR with my brother and his girlfriend. It's been so excellent because I haven't been able to get any weekends off to visit him and these past two weekends work has sent me out there. He just had his second interview with a company in China and if all goes as he hopes he'll be moving there within the next few months. That makes getting to visit him even better cause if he moves it'll take a little more than a 1:20 flight to see him. Israel picked me up from the aiport last night and took me to his house. Then Israel, Toni (his girlfriend), Stephen (Chinese guy that lives in his downstairs), and I went up to Mt. Sequoia to watch the sunset. It was such a nice evening. Sky was beautiful. Then we went home and Israel, Toni and I cooked some authentic Chinese food. Israel is really hard core about this China stuff. It was fish with sauce and looked like worms in mud but actually tasted really good. They use this black fungus in foods (the worms) which were interesting. It was fun to hang out with them. We haven't lived in the same state since 1997 (wow, I never realized that) so visits like these are really nice. Last night before they took me to my hotel Israel insisted he make me a sandwich to eat today. Let me tell you, that boy doesn't do anything halfway. He put lettuce (not iceberg, tomato, cheese (real cheese - not processed), sprouts, purple onions, mustard, and mayo, all on lovely wheat - and was complaining cause he didn't have any meat to put on it. I'm like this is a hundred times better than any sandwich I'd make for myself. After I got released today I was riding the bus home and got the sandwich out to eat it. The girl opposite me on the bus looked like she was sleeping. As we finally got to the parking lot she woke up, looked at me and said "that looked like a really great sandwich." It made me laugh. I'm not sure why, and after typing all this it seems kind of pointless but oh well. I have to make sure I tell Israel that his sandwich was lusted after.

There was a fly that got on the plane in AR and I couldn't get it to leave. I wonder how confused it was when it got off the plane here in Atlanta. I wonder if it even realizes the difference. It seems pretty obvious to us but I'm not sure how perceptive flies are (especially arKansan ones).

I've had so many random thoughts and things happen lately and am trying to remember them. I think I'll go put the rest of my laundry away and blog more later.

Note to self...

Anything that seems too good to be true probably is too good to be true. I just got off work and I'm sooo tired. I spent about 7 hrs in flight today and I wanted to kill myself #1 from tiredness and #2 from boredom. I'm sick of doing sudoku puzzles, sick of the newspaper, and sick of the books I brought. I'm also hungry and did I mention tired?

So my good buddies in Lex talked me into going up there tonight. I get back from Podunk Nowhere, MI and see that the flight to Lex is still boarding, but it's over at B19 and I'm at C23. I figure I should make a run for it on the off chance I make it then I won't have to wait another 1.5 hrs for the next one. I get to the gate as they're pushing it back... Ugh #1.

Then I come all the way back over to D (mind you, my luggage is super heavy and I'm sick of pulling it around for 4 days). I've got time to kill so I decide to look at my beautiful line once again. I'm so happy to have it and have been telling everyone. I saw my instructor from training this morning and was like, I'm still afraid something is going to happen cause whenever scheduling gives me a good trip, I check back an hour or a day later and it's gone. Without fail. She's like no, you've got this one. Famous last words... I check and my schedule has gone from beautiful 2-days to NAPS!!! And these are the disgusting naps. The ridiculously long ones. Now I'm the last person of the people who got lines, so who knows, I might check back tomorrow and not have one at all. And all my excitement and rejoicing will have been in vain.

And in case that isn't enough to get me down I look at the flight at 5:40 to Lex and it's full... There is a slim chance and I figure since I've already waited this long I might as well wait another 40 min. I seriously wanted to cry. Talk about the emotional roller coaster. If you want to ride get a ticket here cause evidently I'm running it (or it's running me). I need food and sleep. Life sucks sometimes.

Peter, our club is still on and I'm still in it.

I'm the happiest girl alive!!!

I'm sitting here in McAllen, TX having a ho-hum day and my phone rings. It was a fellow flight attendant and I almost didn't answer cause I've already been on the phone a lot today. But I decided to answer anyway and I'm so glad I did cause she informed me that I have a line this month!!! For those of you who don't know what this means, it means I'm not going to be on reserve next month. Before I go on I have to say that just because I have a line this month doesn't mean I'll have one next month. There's a lot of stuff going on with our Salt Lake City base closing, but I'm so happy to have one even for a month. The money will be considerably better. The quality of life will be 1000% better. I will actually have a little control over my life now and I'm so happy. Those of you who know me well, especially those who live with me, understand how big of a deal this is. I really didn't expect it this month either. July will be 1 year at this job. I talked to a girl the other day who's been here 14 months and didn't have a line. So that's my bit of happiness. Looks like I'll be doing back to back 2 day trips Fri-Sat, and Sun-Mon, but I should be around Saturday nights. I'm pretty pleased. This comes exactly at the right time as well. I was getting pretty discouraged lately about money and my job and my life and now I feel a little more hopeful.

I just spent about 20 minutes at the pool and I must say, it was the hottest I've been in a long time. I got in the water and it was hard to tell the difference between the air and the water. I've been coming here a couple times a month since March it seems and it's been in the 90s every single time. The only time I felt slightly cool was when I came out of the water and wind blew on me. Other than that, not so much. So after about 20 minutes of just sweating to death I gave up. Now I'm kinda bored. It's too hot to walk anywhere and my crew seems to have disappeared. I'm sad cause I really wish I had someone to celebrate my getting a line with. I'm almost finished with this trip though so then I can celebrate. Of all the 40 something gates ASA has one of my favorite people happened to park in the spot directly facing me last night when I was sitting in ATL waiting to go to Iowa. Good times. Life is really random like that sometimes.

This whole past year I have refused to allow myself to expect to get a line and now it has paid off perfectly. Instead of checking every month and being disappointed, I just kept doing my thing and expecting reserve and now that I finally have a line I'm completely blown away and surprised. It's awesome and I'm not going to stop being happy about this for quite a while.

Just a little something for the pain

Greetings from northwest Arkansas. I can't ever say Arkansas without saying again (sometimes only to myself) arKansas. I'm a dork. I know. I have come to accept it and so must you. I'm also a scatterbrain dork, or so it seems. Israel and his girlfriend, Toni, picked me up from the aiport last night and I put all my stuff in his car. We went to his house so I could change, then went to eat. Then we went back to his house, put his bike in the car (therefore rearranged my stuff) and then brought me to the hotel. Since I'm not used to carrying a lunchbox I totally forgot about mine, and all the food in it. I'm not having such good luck with packing food for my trips. Last week I made some sandwiches and promptly left them in the refrigerator. So frustrating cause I'm trying to save money. We even talked about it on the way to the hotel - the fact that I had packed food. When I work I get used to carrying certain things with me at all times. It starts to feel weird if you get off an airplane and don't have X on your arm or around your neck. So when I add a new piece of gear to the mess, it gets totally forgotten.

I just watched Brazil beat Australia. I know a particular man who is probably crying right now over the loss.

So far this trip has been uneventful. Yesterday when I was getting ready to leave everything was going great. I had left myself plenty of time, gotten dressed early, etc... I put on my brand new thigh highs that I had bought the day before. They're so much easier to work in than hose, so I was really excited about wearing them. I finished packing my suitcase and turned it on its side. As I did this it hit my knee and put a huge hole in my thigh highs. Argggg!!! Talk about annoyed. This meant I had to find something else to wear so I wasted a bunch of time trying on other pairs of hose until I found the least comfortable one, but the only one without runs. I was afraid that that was going to set the tone for my trip but so far so good. I always get freaked out when I'm in other time zones cause like today, I have to be downstairs at 2:30 and right now my watch and computer say 2:11pm. My heart goes in panic and then I realize that's EST and I'm an hour behind. The only remotely interesting thing that has happened so far (work-wise) is that yesterday I was sitting outside the airport waiting for Israel to get me and there was a car parked right in front of me. The passenger door was open and a man was sitting in there. He kept looking at me but I was talking on the phone and trying my best to ignore him. Next thing I know I look over at him and he's got his phone held up, pointed in my direction, but a little lower than obvious height. He put it down when I looked over and this was repeated several times. I was like what the heck dude??? I mean, I know I am the hottest woman ever, but isn't it rude to take pictures of people you don't know? That's a pretty random story, and probably not worth writing about, but my life is that boring at the moment.

One of the things I hate the most about the end of a relationship, is that each of your lives go on, and you find out things way after the fact. It sucks to go from being part of the planning and dreaming, to just finding things out randomly. Blah... Thoughts must not wander in that direction.

I should probably go shower since I have to be downstairs in 4 minutes... Oh wait, I mean and hour and 4 minutes. :-P

Must.....go....sleep....

This is the part where I should be going to sleep, but since I've only been awake for about 12 hours I'm not ready to go back to bed. I should also be packing for my trip tomorrow, but instead I'm sitting here watching tv. Way to be responsible huh? Never Been Kissed is on. I forgot how cute that teacher was, and I don't even like blonds (be still my heart ;-).) I'm leaving tomorrow for 4 days. Should be a pretty decent trip. I'll be in Fayetteville, AR tomorrow hopefully hanging out with my brother, briefly in Cedar Rapids, IA on Sunday night, and in McAllen, TX on Monday. It will probably be about 115 degrees there. I'll probably spend most of my TX time by the pool since there isn't much else you can do when it's that hot. I need to lie on my stomach though cause my front is super dark and my back, not so much.

Yesterday and today were fairly unmentionable. I did cook for Tanya, Jamie, and Amie last night. We don't really have anything in the house and it was still fantastic. I shouldn't be surprised though since I am the queen of the world :-P. We sent Amie to the store for some baby potatoes and dish detergent. It was the funniest thing ever. She had to ask someone to help her find it. Poor thing... Today I went Walmarting which is often dangerous when trying to stick to a budget. I did pretty good til I got to the checkout and bought a Fanta and Cheetos. I figured I needed the sugar for energy (haha) and was enjoying it until I read how many calories I was consuming. Oh well. The weather is bloody hot so I don't really feel like going anywhere. I applied for a job at Taco Mac today but will probably have to wait til I get a line to start working. I don't really want to wait tables, but I do want to be out of debt. Who knows... maybe next month I'll have a line. I'm not holding my breath though. Charity came over tonight and brought her little rat :-P and Tanya's boy brought his two mutts. Aaahhhhh!!!! Too many canines in this space!! That's probably why I've sneezed about 10 times in the last 5 minutes.

I guess I should go pack and sleep. My Friday nights are out of control!!

PS. Who the heck is reading this??? I know you're out there.

The voices in my head are singing to me

I'm really enjoying the quest for new music. I spent some time at my family's house today and Peter and I went through the music both of us have put on their comp. We put together a kind of random cd of music that is best enjoyed when played at an extremely high volume.

I've realized what a huge affect music has on my mood, and in realizing this I have to choose the music I want to listen to on any given day, or period in my life, according to how I want to feel after I listen to it. I think one reason I like ghetto music is because there is so little emotion in it. To me it's just good beats that get your blood pumping and your booty shaking. Matchbox 20 has been one of my favorite bands for a really long time but it seems that I get really depressed when I listen to it lately. I'm all about music that you can be angry with but I think all of their songs just talk about relationships ending (or maybe that's just what I notice these days.) Lately I also struggle with chill music, music I normally love like Jack Johnson, because I don't need to listen to something that makes me think more. I want to listen to something that is going to distract me. Something that will take me to a different place than I currently am. Make me feel an emotion other than my current one. I also don't feel like listening to people talk about how happy they are in love or whatever. Call me bitter. Whatever you want. I just don't feel like it right now. I'm noticing that in general I don't like female singers (or maybe it's just the ones my age and younger). I'm so tired of hearing them sing about how someone has ruined her life and made her afraid of everything. It makes me want to slap them for letting someone have that much power over them. I'm also tired of all these bands like Nickleback that are always yelling about something and all their songs are exactly the same. I know I'm generalizing here, but it's my blog so I can do whatever I want. I sound like such a music grouch right now. Doesn't help that I've had a headache since this afternoon and two ibuprofin haven't even put a dent in it. I'm really much more cheerful than I sound.

I like this Anastacia chick. Maybe just because she hasn't been killed by the radio. Alice Cooper's Poison also rocks my face off. "I wanna love you but I better not touch (don't touch), I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop, I want to kiss you but I want it too much (too much), I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison, You're poison running through my veins". Now THAT'S a love song for you ;-). This Crazy song - I remember when I lost my mind, there was something so pleasant about that place... Does that make me crazy???? It's fantastic. I like Queen because for one, there's so much variety in each song, it's not just rocking guitars the whole way or something, and for two, because a lot of them are just silly. I mean, how can you feel bad after listening to the Bicylce Song? You can't. It's even got bicycle bells ringing in it.

Before anyone starts criticizing or correcting, I make no claims to be musically educated or to even have a broad musical view. I'm still learning. These are just my little opinions about what little I've listened to. I think I need to take my headache to bed.

this is the song that needs to end

I'm so sick of all the music I have on my computer. It's either really old or just makes me want to slit my wrists. I would really appreciate some suggestions for new music to listen to.

Why is my room so dusty?

Something is not right when it's 2:10pm and I've already been awake for 9.5 hours. Makes me tired just thinking about it... Oh wait, I'm already tired. I called work last night right before I was going to be to ask about a trip I want to pick up on Saturday. When they answered they informed me that I had a round trip this morning with a 624 duty-in. I nearly cried. I just want one decent length sleep in my own bed. It's been almost a week since I got to do that. But instead, I went to Memphis and back before 11am.

Yesterday I had to get up at the butt crack of dawn as well so when I finally got home from my trip I didn't have the energy to do anything. I sat on the couch and was later joined by Tanya, and then later by Kathryn, and we watched tv, talked and ate fabulous food Kathryn cooked (asparagus wrapped in proscuitto and neufchatel cheese then all cooked together). I was assuming that I'd have the whole day today to get things done... Not so much.

So I got home from work and decided I had to do something about my room. It stresses me out when it's messy and there is stuff everywhere. I sometimes wish I could just throw it all away but somehow I can't. Arg!! I'm on my second load of laundry - the first one hanging out on the balcony to dry because we still don't have a working dryer. I changed my sheets and even washed my duvet cover and pillow shams (is that what they are?). Every now and then I miss the days when Kat or Charity would come help me regain some order in my room. I'm a big kid now and I need to do it on my own. Just wish I could find a way to minimize everything in here. I hate 'stuff'. I want to rearrange my room but since I put those shelves on my wall there aren't that many options. Maybe I can come up with something creative (or get some good ideas from smart people...)

I'm so trying not to stress about money. In a way it's easy cause I can't do much about things right now, but when I start to look at the future it's really, really depressing. This is a bit too much personal info but it's one of the two things that constantly sits in the front of my mind lately so it's hard not mention it. I need to remember to trust God and be smart.

Gotta go change out the laundry so I can take a nap. Hasta la aundry.

Holiday Inn Express

I just saw the Holiday Inn Express ad with the party clown who thinking he could be a rodeo clown because he had stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. Evidently there is a pilot one and that reminded me of this: The other day we were flying from San Antonio to Salt Lake City. I was in the back jumpseat and some guy was talking to me. He was joking cause somehow he found out we stayed at the H.I.E. the night before. He was asking if I was sure they were real pilots. I told him yes, we had been flying together for several days. Then at the end of the flight we were about to land in SLC, headed down to the ground, and suddenly we were headed the other way. Back up into the sky we were just leaving. Everyone was looking at me and asking what was going on. I'm like, how the heck am I supposed to know??? Do you see me up in the cockpit?? Then the guy next to me was like, are you sure they're really pilots? Turns out some other plane was taking too long to get off the ground and they told us to abort the landing. It was a really strange feeling though, heading down, then heading just as steeply back up. Not a sensation I've experienced while working so far. It happened once when I was a passenger going into Denver but it was cause of turbulence so you could figure out what was going on. Kind of a funny coincidence that that happened on the same flight we had the conversation questioning our pilot's validity.

After that our aborted landing, I started doing what I'm assuming a lot of people do, which makes them afraid to fly. I started thinking about what could really happen and what it would be like if something bad happened. I'm still not scared but am aware what is and what isn't healthy for me to dwell on. Then that night, as I flipped through the channels trying to find something to lull me to sleep, I found a show about a plane crash. Cheerful huh? It's still not something I worry about. People don't drive around worrying about car wrecks. I hate to think that it would ever happen to me, and the odds are really low, but I like to think that I could handle it if it did. And if I didn't make it, then I'd be dead so I wouldn't care anyway :-P (The philosophy my father dearest and I used to harp on whenever we thought of doing something awful that would kill us.) Anyway, I don't think worry is healthy. There are so many bad, awful, painful, gruesome things that can happen to us on a daily basis, but you will seriously going insane if you think about them.

Paul told the Phillipians "Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things." I believe that God knows best, and He doesn't want me thinking about dreadful things, so I'm not going to.

The whole Holiday Inn Express thing was really funny though.

Shower drops on my shoulders make me happy

Van Morrison on an overcast day... I'm just asking to be depressed aren't I? :-P

Did I ever mention how much I enjoy showers. I was just thinking how they're probably one of my favorite things. Sometimes it's even nice to let yourself get a little dirtier than usual, just so you can really feel the good goodness of being clean. There's nothing quite like a hot shower to wash off all the grease and grime of life. Nothing like standing in the shower and listening to loud music. Talk about multitasking. You can sing, scrub, shave, and think all at the same time. It's one of my most enjoyable solitary times. It's a great place to cry if you need to. No need to dry tears up or worry about someone seeing you. After the shower is over you'll look as good as new and most probably feel as good as new. Some people like baths for relaxing but I never feel clean afterwards, unless I take a shower and by the time I've taken a bath I usually feel so tired and I can't bother to shower. In my opinion, sitting in a shower is more relaxing than sitting in a bath. Something about the running water, constant cleaness... Who knows. Maybe it has something to do with how much I like the rain. I don't know if it's normal to sit in a shower, but when I'm all by myself in the shower social norms aren't really my biggest concern. Good times. I'm quite picky about showers as well. Nothing like a shower with no water pressure. Or the water going cold mid-shower. A cold shower is nice in the summer sometimes but it needs to be a self imposed cold shower. I can't think of anything worse than starting off your day with a miserable cold shower. Showers help me clean my body and clear my head. I recommend them highly. I never really feel like my day has begun until I've had one.

We left rainy Spokane early, early this morning and are now in gloomy St. Lous. Tanya called me to say she is going out to the pool and Peter wrote and said it's 96 down there. I wish I was there. It's good for me to be gone though. As week of silence is a long time so it's good to keep my mind occupied with other things. My crew is a lot of fun. The other flight attendant is really cool and the pilots are silly men/boys.

gonna make you sweat

It's funny how certain cities in Texas make you a little confused about what country you're actually in. I just got back from having lunch with my crew at a Mexican restaurant here in San Antonio and we very easily could have been in Mexico. It seems that gringos are the minority here. This town has a really fun atmosphere though. We're all hoping to get canceled so we can stay here tonight as well but I don't see that happening. Last night we got here around midnight so we walked over to the Market Square to this little bar. Lou's Saloon, I think. I wish I had a camera to document what this place was like. There was the most random assortment of ugly people there. Lots of gays and lesbians as well. There was one "person" that was the subject of conversation for most of the night because we were trying to figure out what it was. It looked Mexican and was wearing jeans with a belt and a long sleeve plaid shirt. Its hair was about 1.5 inches long on top, stuck out all over, was bleached that orange color that happens when people with really dark hair lighten it, and was smooth shaved all around the side. It was the most disgusting thing I've seen. Reminded me of Jabba the Hutt if that tells you anything... I'm pretty sure it was a woman because I think it had breasts. Which leads me to the neverending lack of understanding I have for women who not only want to be with another woman, but want to be with such an ugly woman. I just don't get it. There was also the old guy with the wife beater and eyepatch. There was much dancing as well. There was the big Mexican guy with the tight pants that danced with nearly every other man there. It was basically like watching a movie, watching all these people laugh and dance together to the Mexican music. Was very entertaining. I always think of Joy when I stay in these towns. I think she is actually Latino and there was a mix-up at birth.

This morning we went down to the pool and enjoyed the 93 degree temperature. It's fairly dry today though so it almost feels good. Makes me want to lie down and take a nap. But no, instead I have to fly to Salt Lake and then on to Spokane. Weather like this makes me love my short hair even more.

I talked to my Daddy this morning and I think he's the best. We don't usually talk a long time when he calls but he calls me enough to let me know he thinks about me a lot and that makes me feel special. My family is the best ever.

Currently reading : The Song of An Innocent Bystander By Ian Bone

I love Georgia blue skies and sunshine

Coming home is a funny thing. Sometimes I go away and it seems like I've been gone forever. I expect things to have changed when I come back. Expect things to be different. Expect to be missed... and then I realize that I've only been gone for 2 days or something silly like that.

Avoidance techniques are another funny thing. Have you ever realized that our avoidance technique one day can be what we're avoiding the next day. I remember when I was in college sometimes I would clean the house just to avoid studying. We put ourselves through all kinds of things emotionally and physically to avoid whatever that other thing is. Travel is sometimes my avoidance technique. Sometimes sleep. That one works less and less these days because then I dream about things. Sometimes writing is an a.t. but it usually ends up helping me sort through whatever I'm trying to avoid. Right now I'm avoiding cleaning my room and doing laundry. I wish I was one of those people that exercises to avoid things or something really constructive like that.
I just experienced a distraction, which has the same end result as an avoidance technique but isn't intentional. I heard a voice on a loudspeaker outside so I went out and lo and behold there were some lovely firefighters prancing around my building. They weren't exactly prancing, but anyway.
This morning when I was sitting in the airport in Portland at 5:30am waiting for my flight everyone heard a strange noise. We looked over and this guy was sitting there, very business man looking, with his earphones in, eyes closed, and he was singing. It was so funny. Everyone around started laughing and watching him. He wasn't full on singing either. It was the kind of singing you do when you're wearing headphones and can't hear yourself. We were contemplating clapping when he finished but we started boarding so that woke him up. I don't think a single day goes by that I'm at the aiport that I don't see something a little strange.

I had a really nice visit with Amy and Shane. (I have to say that cause I found out that even though they don't leave messages they read my blog :-P... I wonder who else does that???) It seems that all my close friends have been really fortunate and married great guys who fit well into our friendships. I guess instead of fitting into they actually expand our friendships which is even better. I hung out with Amy Tuesday night when I got up there cause Shane was working. Then yesterday the three of us drove to Boston where we were planning on being tourists until Adri drove in last night. Then we were going to meet for dinner. Turns out, Boston isn't such a great place to see in the rain, especially pouring down rain. We walked around for hours, getting soaked, then going inside somewhere long enough to dry a little. It was ridiculously cold and was starting to throw my season sense off. It felt like February in Georgia. We were given so many wrong directions which made it all that much more frustrating. We finally did meet up with Adri and her friend Carol and ate. It was really neat to think where we had all come from, all to meet in Boston and eat dinner together.

Well enough avoiding. I have to do laundry, clean my room, and get ready for my trip tomorrow. As of right now I'll be in San Antonio tomorrow, Spokane, WA Saturday, and St. Louis on Sunday. Woo hoo. I'm kind of excited. I hope my crew doesn't suck. Anyone live in or near any of those places? I got to my car this morning and found out that it almost got towed yesterday. Everyone parks along the edge of the parking lot and has as long as I've been there and evidently the other day they decided to enforce the yellow curb. Some guy was standing there and they ran out of tow trucks yesterday or mine would have been next!! I'm so relieved they didn't. That's the last thing I need right now. Now it's got one of those stupid stickers on the window that are impossibly to peel off. Oh well. At least it's better than having to pay a fine AND get the sticker off.

south to north

I'm writing this from the living room of my favorite Portland, Maine residents, Amy and Shane. Talk about spur of the moment trips - last night I was sitting at home being a grouch and sent Amy a message asking what her off days were. Mine are during the week this month which makes visiting hard on most people, since normal people work during the week. She replied and said she was off Wed, so I checked the flights and here I am. I've already let their dog run away, eaten all their food, gone through all their secret stuff, and now I'm downloading viruses on the computer :D. Just kidding. The weather up here is lovely.

I've realized that in the midst of all the unhappiness I've been experiencing lately, I've been forgetting to care about other people's unhappiness. It's so sad cause one of the best cures for unhappiness and depression (that I've noticed anyway) is to focus on something outside of yourself. This is hard to do when you're unhappy but I think you have to get to a point where you're tired of feeling bad and want to do something about it. I feel like a door has been closed in my life. It was a door that led to a lot of beautiful and happy things, but either there is a better door for me to go through or it just isn't the right time for me to go through that one. Only the Lord knows. Sometimes I wish He'd let me in on what's going on... In the meantime I'm going to enjoy some different scenery. As much as it sucks, I think it helps that in my heart the door has finally been closed. Hopefully now I will be able to really let go and move forward. We'll see.

Miracles do happen

Finally sitting on my own couch, watching tv (Top Gun to be exact), watching Tanya do homework (sucks to be her), and loving life.
I just spent almost 2 hours walking up and down the side of Hwy 34 in Newnan looking for my cell phone. Dumbass me stops to get gas and leaves it on the roof of the car. As I drive down the road I see something go past the back windshield and realize I don't know where my phone is. Half of everyone I know walked up and down the road searching everywhere and finally after everyone except my mom, dad, T and I leave, I give up and go back to my car and my dad found it. It was still in one piece, still working. I had been praying so hard because first, I can't afford to buy a new phone, and second, I can't go without a phone for even a few hours because I'm always on call. So God answered our prayers. So many people I knew stopped by to see if everything was ok and I know a lot of people were praying. It just proves that God cares about the little things. I had walked by the spot where my dad found it at least 3 times and so had several other people. So I'm thankful for that.
Onto other randomness... I've worked crazy weird stuff for the last 3 nights. Friday night we had a bad storm here in ATL and the ramp was closed. So many planes were diverted. Long story short, our flight that was supposed to leave at 9:05pm left at 12:15am. We arrived at our hotel in Albany, NY at 2:30am and had to leave at 5am to deadhead home. I've been getting my sleep in chunks lately. I'm looking forward to an entire night of uninterrupted sleep in my own bed. Last night I deadheaded to Lexington. My favorite pilot was flying and his captain announced to the entire plane that they had a special flight attendant riding on the flight. Said she (I) had just gotten off maternity leave from having triplets and wasn't it amazing how good I looked??? Everyone was looking at me and saying Wow!! This morning I had an old guy get on the plane. He had a gray beard that was parted in the middle of his chin and brushed back towards his ears. Just the weird people I see on my flights make my job worth doing.
Today I was reminded of how good change can be. I was reminded how something that can seem like the worst thing at the time can actually be the best thing ever. I'm so glad for some of the changes that have taken place over the last few years. Though my life is in no way perfect, I can't help but think how miserable I would be if certain changes hadn't taken place. I can't get over how happy I am for that. Especially when I'm reminded of the way things used to be..
There's more stuff to write about but I'm blathered on enough and I'm missing the movie.

It has been confirmed...

So, in case there was any question about my queen of the world status, it is official. I changed my spark plugs. Unfortunately though, I can't say that my car runs like a Ferrari now, or even a 1992 Honda Civic. It's still running just as bad as before. I changed one of the spark plugs yesterday and got to the second one and couldn't get it unscrewed. I decided to stop trying before I broke something on the car or on myself. Today I decided to try it again since my car seems to be running worse. I got to the second one and realized I had been tightening it. No wonder it wouldn't come undone. I was even saying "righty tighty, lefty loosey." I think it was the heat. So now they're all changed and my car still sounds like it's about to fall over and die. (Or just die so I don't think cars can really fall over.)

I had a very uneventful overnight in Wilkes-Barre/Scranton, PA. I read an entire book (The Red Tent). First while we were waiting for the FO (First Officer/Co-pilot), then on the nearly 2 hour flight, then while I was in bed, and finished it on the way back this morning cause I dead-headed back (I didn't work the flight, just rode while another flight attendant worked. Not sure why. Has to do with crew positioning or something. Happens a lot at the beginning of the month when the new schedule starts.) The book was really interesting. I'm assuming it was all made up even though it's based on real Biblical people. It was interesting to read about their customs and ways, especially from a woman's point of view.

The craziness of people never ceases to amaze me. Yesterday on the bus going into work I listened to a lady tell how a teenage girl passenger had thrown the passenger safety information card at the flight attendant, told her the flight attendant was the one who needed to read it, and said what are you going to do? You can't kick me off the flight. We paid $300 for these tickets. Word to the wise, never throw something at a flight attendant or tell them what they can't do. The girl's parents just sat there. They told the captian who turned around on the active taxiway and went back to the gate where he dropped her and her parents off. What makes people think they can act like that??

I talked to a couple on the flight last night. She said she liked my hair so we talked about that for a while. Then got around to them telling me how 3 years ago she had leukemia, a particularly rare type. At one point she was in a coma for a month and had a 5% chance of living. She went through 2 years of chemo as well. Her husband said she was alive today because of the power of prayer. It was really nice to talk to them. Very uplifting. Nice change from the crazy grouchy people we get sometimes.

I should probably go to sleep since I have to do an Albany, NY nap tonight. It's going to suck.

Currently reading : The Red Tent : A Novel By Anita Diamant

Spark plugs and frosties

One of the main times I wish I had a man in my life is when something goes wrong with my car. I have my dad but he works a lot and I don't want to ask him to help me with stuff when he should be resting. So I guess I have to be the man. My car is not happy and I think it's cause the spark plugs need to be change. My car burns oil like a freaking mother and everyone's guess is that the oil has gunked up the spark plugs. So my mission this afternoon is to change them.

My roommate is the best. She brought me a frosty now for no reason. It's funny cause on the cup it says While you're at it bring someone you like, love, or admire from afar a frosty, because everyone likes doing what tastes right. And that's exactly what she did. We were saying how we wouldn't mind if someone admired us from afar and left us frosties on our desks. I once had a Mexican that would leave me a Coke and a banana or sometimes a snickers on my desk. It was sweet.

I had so many rants stored up from our long weekend of driving. So many things drivers do that piss me off.. but I think I'm finally relaxing. I'm making a special effort to not drive in the left lane unless I'm going fast enough and to move over when someone is behind me. It's really sad how mad drivers can make me. I don't know what it is.

I read an amazing book yesterday - Kite Runner. I'd seen it carried around on planes for months and someone finally lent it to me the other day. I finished last night and it made me feel really sad. I recommend you read it but not unless you are happy enough to stay happy after reading it. In other words, if you're already a little sad or down this book will take you the rest of the way. But it's powerful and turns out well. It's just sad cause of the things that happen in it and the fact that they are really happening to people every day.

On a completely different note, I don't understand how things just disappear in my house. I came home from work last week and took two things off and put them on the floor by the chair here and have not been able to find either since then. Where could they possibly be??? It's so frustrating. I have to do naps for the next 4 nights. Woo hoo. I'm going to be a tired girl.

Currently reading : The Kite Runner By Khaled Hosseini