Nobody cries, there’s only butterflies... hahaha

Sometimes it feels like I'm never going to get a chance to slow down and relax. It's silly cause I will. I know I will. I should be able to tomorrow afternoon when I'm in Portland. But right now all I can think about is getting up early for work for the next 5 days, doing 18 flights, and then catering two days after that. My room is once again barely walkable and I can't be bothered to do anything about it. The main thing is I'm really tired. Once I get a good night's rest tonight I'll realize it isn't all so overwhelming.

I got to spend a very lovely day with Peter and Michal. We drove (or sat in Atl traffic) up to Lenox and wandered around and shopped and looked at all the strange people. Then we went to Krispy Kreme and had some doughnuts hot off the.. doughnut maker? We also made a stop at the Stewart Avenue thrift store and then looked for hookers on the way home. We didn't see any. I guess it was too early. It was good fun with half the Holby litter. Since we spent about half the day in the car I was able to get caught up on all my pop music, since that's all Peter will allow me to listen to in MY car :-P. I feel so educated now.

Last night I catered a backyard party for some people on the south side of Ptc. Their house, yard, and pool were amazing in a very unpretentious way. After we set up the food and I sweated off about 5 lb in the blazing heat, we sat in the kitchen and watched them hang out for about 3 hours. Then we packed our stuff back up and left. They were very nice and we both got tipped almost what we made for the whole evening last night. All for doing nothing. Sometimes the catering is a lot of work, but then you have nights last night that are easy and relaxed and lucrative and it all evens out.

I'm going to sleep since I haven't even packed my bag and have to be at work in 11 hours. I know the first part of this sounds complainy but I'm really quite happy and blessed. I'm just a little tired, by my own doing, right now. Tomorrow I'll be in Portland for the whole day and it's going to be beautiful.

Something good this way comes

I'm sitting here in the lounge in ATL, eating my high sodium, non-refrigerated, microwave meal (don't be jealous) wishing I was going home instead of going to DC. We don't even get to spend a decent amount of time there. We just finished our third leg of the day. I've been very cheerful these last few days (trying to compensate for my other FA who is a bit testy at times), but it's running out. I've gotten some good swaps for next month and I'm quite pleased about that. I hate that I missed most of Joy's time in town, and am afraid I'll miss Peter's as well. Joy headed off to Martha's Vineyard for the summer today.

I ran this morning, which was a good way to start the day. Syracuse is a far cry from Tallahassee. It was kind of cold when we got there last night but this morning when the Sun was out it was perfect. I ran through some neighborhoods that looked like a combination of New England and the 70s. They all had beautiful little lawns and flowers everywhere. The first street I ran down was Patricia Drive :-D. I even saw a few fighter planes taking off while I was running.

I'm off to find my plane and head up to DC. Maybe someone amazing will be on my flight (besides me of course :-P).

Nothing but clouds in the Little Rock sky

I feel like a slacker. It's 12:23 local and I've done nothing with my day. Of course, I was still in the airport 12 hours ago. We got to here 2 hours late because of maintenance. It's hard to keep that in mind and remember that I'm not such a slacker, I just have a weird schedule. I was hoping to get up and run this morning since I haven't since last week, but it looks like it's been raining anyway.

This weekend was very full and fun. Peter got here on Friday. I got to see all of my younger siblings a few times. Michal turned 15. Went to a Braves game. Catered a wedding. Went out in Atlanta. Had good food in the Highlands and at the parents house.

I just left and had lunch with my crew. It was a pizza buffet which my stomach almost instantly hated. Good times. The captain paid though so I guess I shouldn't complain too much. My crew is pretty nice, but it seems like half the things I say they just kind of look at me. It's crazy that by the time I start my work day today most people will be home from their work days already.

I'm going to spend the rest of my time watching them deny my swaps in open time. I did manage to trade a 4 day for a 3 day, which gives me an extra day off next month, but there's still much more swapping to be done.

My life, and consequently my blog, is boring today.

Madder than mad

Today feels like one big freaking train wreck.

It started off with me oversleeping. I set my alarm for 8:45. This would give me time to clean around the house, run, get ready for work, maybe do some laundry, and not be rushed. I think largely because of the Benadryl I took last night for allergies, I absolutely could not wake up until almost 11. I still had 3 hours before I had to leave. Around 12:35, after cleaning my room for a while, I got dressed to go run. I slacked this weekend and have been feeling bad about that. At that point I saw my old work shoes sitting on my bed. This is when I realized my good work shoes, that I left at Jersey's house a week and a half ago, were still at her house. The old shoes hurt my feet too much to wear another week. So I had to drive all the way into Ptc to get her apartment key. Then I drove 5 minutes back toward me to her apartment, got the shoes, drove 5 minutes the other way to return the key, then drove 15 minutes back home. By now I have just about an hour before I have to leave for work. I haven't showered or packed. Thankfully I cooked food last night to take with me so that was all ready. Plus I had poppyseed chicken left over from last night to take. Yum... I survived the morning drama and made it to work but without accomplishing anything else at all. Disappointing.

I got to work and had an uneventful flight to Milwaukee. On the way back we ended up holding for about 35 minutes due to severe weather passing through Atlanta. On approach we got to see an amazing lightning display. I don't think passengers enjoyed it.

The next flight should've been pretty simple. It was 36 minutes in flight. You board, take off, cruise for a few minutes, and land. But no... Everyone was mad cause they had had really rough flights into Atlanta. Of course I made the weather so you should be mad at me for it. Then it took us almost twice as long to taxi out as it did to fly down here (and that's after we cut in line). It was really bumpy so we couldn't get up the whole way and everyone wanted everything. Oh well... We were less than an hour late, which is good considering how many planes are probably still taxiing in Atlanta. I sat next to a nice lady from Portland, OR who gave me her address and phone number and told me to come visit her.

All's well that ends well right? Wrong. We finally make it to the hotel after a ridiculously long van ride. My FO brought her boyfriend and she's sitting on his lap next to me since there isn't an extra seat. My flight attendant has a bad attitude cause he thinks that everyone is against him cause he's black. Maybe they are. I'm obviously not very sensitive to that sort of thing. He also assumes cause we're both flight attendants that I'm going to be on his side when he gripes to me about things...

We finally get to the hotel. I sign all of us in and go to my room at the far end of the hall on the fourth floor. The key doesn't work. I go downstairs and get two more. They don't work either. Finally I get another room and it's on a different floor from my crew and a handicap room. Whatever. I don't care at this point. By the way, the hotel looks like a nice one, but it doesn't seem to have air conditioning. Neither did the taxi ride over. Just windows all the way down as we drove 48 mph down the interstate.

I put my stuff in the room and go down to the other end of the hall to get some ice to put my food on since they "ran out" of rooms with a frig or microwave. This also bugs me since we're going to be here for 2 nights. I don't want to have to buy all my food. I get to the ice machine and there isn't any ice in it. Arg. So I go back up to the floor I was .. down to the end of that hall and finally get some ice. I was going to take the trash can and just fill it with ice, but there was trash in it. Isn't that a pretty obvious thing to clean when you clean a room? I finally get some ice and open my lunch bag to get my food out. This is when I realize I LEFT MY FOOD ON THE PLANE. I'm sooo mad. My poppy seed chicken. My jambalaya. My sugar snap peas that I purposely only ate a few of them so I could have them for the rest of the trip. And I'm sure the cleaning crew tonight will throw it all away. I'm heartbroken. So now I have a big bag of ice for a Diet Coke. It better be ice cold when I drink it tomorrow.

After that I come sit at the desk to write a blog about how mad I am. (At least the internet works.) I sit down in the chair and put my foot up again my leg and realize there's gross sticky stuff all over my heel and now on the inside of my pajama pants. The look and smell makes me think the inside of a fig newton (I guess that would be a fig). How the crap did I get fig on my heel? I'm so over this place and I've only been here an hour.

On top of all this, allergies have been killing me. I've been rubbing my eyes until they're sore, and then I rub them more. When I rub them my contacts get lost in the far regions of my eyeballs. Then I find them and they fall out and all my make up is gone. My throat itches. My ears itch. My nose itches. I'd pick my nose in public if it would help.

Hopefully tomorrow is better. Hopefully the sun will come out and I can go to the pool or something. I'm finished with my rant.

Sweet Caroline oh-oh-oh

I know that many of you spend your days wondering what us Holbees do when we gather together. You may think we discuss literature and poetry - twas brilig in the slithey toves. You may think we discuss travel and the world - our brother lives in China. Or you may think we discuss religion and politics. I hate to disappoint you, but all we are is one big mutual admiration society. I tell Joy how pretty she is. She tells Michal what a good athlete she is. She tells my mama what a good cook she is. She tells my dad how smart he is. And on and on it goes. Some would think it'd get tiresome always hearing how wonderful you are, but it really doesn't. It's actually quite lovely. Then I start thinking about all the friends I have and am blown away by the fact that I have not a single terrible person in my life :-D. I love it.

I didn't blog last week, but it was mostly due to the fact that I had lousy or no internet on my trip. Then I spent a whirlwind weekend in Louisville for Joshua and Brittany's wedding and visiting Jamie. I got home last night and haven't slowed down since.

The first day of my trip was spent in Oklahoma City. It was surprisingly hot. I did day 2 of week 5. This is the first week where all three days of running aren't the same program. Day 2 was two 8-minute runs, which is the longest I've gone so far. On Wednesday I was privileged to see Amy and Shane in Portland. It was the most beautiful day I've had up there. I usually bring bad weather with me. They've moved us to a hotel that is downtown near the port so there are plenty of places you can walk to which is really nice. The next day I was in Montreal. The weather up there was also beautiful. I was exhausted from staying up too late with the Whites so all I had the energy for was a run. I wasn't sure I could make it because it was day 3, which is a 20-minute run, but I survived. It helped that the sidewalks were busy so I couldn't really run that fast. It's good mentally to keep extending the time. I'll work on speed later. I went to sleep at 7:30pm that night :-P.

I got off work on Friday, after doing 5 legs that included a Louisville round trip, just in time to get my violin and my weekend clothes from my car and rush over to the gate, to wait and hope I got on the flight. It was delayed forever cause of maintenance but TanJoe and I finally made it on. Once we got there Jamie took us to Louisville's finest where we heard a really awesome band play a really fun variety of music. I did a crossword on Tuesday that was themed songs named for women. One of them was "Sweet Caroline" so after hearing that song play in my head for a week it was great to hear it live. The rest of the weekend continued in that vein. The wedding was lovely and I was thrilled to find out that I had not forgotten how to play the violin.

I got back yesterday in time to go up to Buckhead for my cousin's graduation party, come back down here for dinner with some friends, and crash. Today was shopping and cooking and picking up Joy who is back from Spain and seeing the rest of the family. Hopefully I'll write some blogs coming up that aren't just about what I've been doing. We'll see. For now, I must sleep.

let's go fly a kite, up to the highest height.

It seems like these weekends are gone before they start. Here it is, another Monday. Another week of work about to start. I am fortunate that my work week doesn't start until tomorrow, but mine ended on Saturday, so I guess we're even.

I catered a wedding Saturday night. We thought we were going to get blown away by the tornados that were coming through. Then we thought we were going to get washed away by the rain. But everyone survived. It poured until about 10 minutes before the wedding started and only sprinkled a little after that. (It was outdoors and the reception was under a tent.) Nearly every wedding I attend confirms my desire to either not have a wedding or to have a highly unusual wedding. I hate all the frou-frouness. I hate the exorbitant amount of money spent on a day that usually becomes more stress than fun. I've also decided that cutting the cake is the most pointless tradition. I hate cutting cake on my birthday, so if I ever get married, I'm not cutting the cake. Someone else can do it.... When we got there, they asked us if we could put all the sodas and waters in a fishing boat that was propped up on sawhorses. They should've gotten the groom's cake from the first wedding we catered. It had a guy in a fishing boat on top of it.

I just got back from my first run of week 5. I was a little nervous since it was 3 5-minute runs and I struggled on the 5-minute runs last week, but it went pretty well. I'm fortunate because the weather that came through this weekend brought a nice cool breeze so I wasn't suffering from anything besides running. I love this time of year. The sky is that beautiful bright blue, and everywhere I go I can smell honeysuckles and other wild flowers growing. It's amazing that God made plants that smell that good just grow wild for our smelling pleasure.

I feel like I have a lot to do today. It's my last day of freedom and I need to squeeze as much as possible in it. But now it's already 1pm and I haven't really done anything.

I got to see more of my family this weekend than I have in a long time. My mama got back from visiting Joy in Spain and Israel was in town at the end of a business trip. On Saturday night after I catered we (Jamie, Jersey, Adam, Israel, and me) decided we wanted to do something. Anything. Since I'm sick of the options down here in PTC and it was kind of late to go up to Atlanta we decided to go to what used to be B52s by the airport. It's a fairly decent place to go grab a bite, hang out, have a drink, watch people. We got there and noticed something was different. For one, there was a huge number of very white, European looking/dressing people there. For two, they weren't playing any hip hop and three, there were lots of white people dancing. Then they started playing music with unitelligible lyrics. Not unusual except remember, they weren't playing rap or hip hop. The more unintelligible the words were, the more the white people jumped around and danced. I finally went over to the dj to ask what the name of the song was. He started talking to me but I couldn't understand anything. Then he asked what language I spoke. English. Asked where I lived. Atlanta. Why? Umm... cause I'm from here. Turns out he, along with about 80% of the other people there and the owner of the place, was Czech, and they were playing Czech music. Oooohhhh... It's all so clear now. It was really fun though. I felt like I was back in Prague or some other eastern European nation. We had a good, interesting time. I have to say that it was far more than I hoped and dreamed for that night :-).

Yesterday, even though it was mother's day, my mama wanted to celebrate Israel's birthday (a month and a half late). I was happy cause what she made was better than what I would've thought of, and I've been wanting a real, home-cooked meal for a long time. I'll have to cook for her next week. We spent the day in the yard kicking a soccer ball, throwing a frisbee, and trying to fly a kite (since it was so windy). We never got the kite above our heads. It was kind of difficult when the wind couldn't decide which way it wanted to go.

I need to go shower and get on with my day. I just re-read this, and it's pretty disjointed, but I had a lot to say. Sorry. Hope everyone's Monday is wonderful.

remembering in Toronto

On this day four years ago I was riding in a bus from Split, Croatia to Sarajevo, Bosnia. I was with Raechel and we had just gotten back from spending a few days on the idyllic island of Hvar. I was beginning my journey through many foreign places. We rode down the Croatian coast for long while watching the waves crash below. Seeing the patterns the wind made on the water. Enjoying the beauty of it all. As we left the coast and began to make our way inland we started singing all the disney songs we could think of to distract me from the impending motion sickness that had plagued me on every method of transportation for the last week or so. We traveled through beautiful green mountains. I had no idea what to expect when I went to Bosnia and was very surprised by how lush everything was. We stopped at a restaurant perched above a valley and I used my first eastern toilet. It was pink ceramic and I realized it was not intended for women who wear pants. As we went further into Bosnia we began to see evidence of war. Raechel told me the stories behind many of the remains. It was a very interesting day that began in wealthy, beautiful, cosmopolitan, coastal Split, Croatia and ended in a war-scarred, graffitied, but still beautiful in its bowl of mountains Sarajevo, Bosnia.

Today I had no such exciting journeys. I spent another day in Toronto. They put us in a different hotel. It's really nice. I wouldn't mind having an apartment like this hotel. I ran again today. It was much better than yesterday. I'm spoiled up here by the cool breeze that is constantly blowing on me. This hotel is also in an area that is much nicer to run in.

I've spent most of the day updating a blogspot blog I have. It's the same as this one, but I just wanted to have a back up should something ever happen to this one. I also want it to be accessible to non-myspacers.

I'm not sure what it is about Canadian men, but within a few hours last night I had three of them give me their contact information. None of them were particularly interesting, but I really respect the fact that they aren't afraid of making the first move. That is a current peeve I have with most men I come across. Though I'm perfectly capable, I refuse to take the first step. I want a man who is man enough to do that. I may be single forever.

My mama should be back home by now. I'm excited to hear how her trip went. Israel will also be there when I get back tonight. Good times. I've been reminded a lot lately how fortunate I am to still have both my parents and all my siblings. I think I take it for granted that people's parents die when they're old, but I've come across more and more people who have lost theirs early in life. I hope this reminds me not to take the time I have with loved ones for granted.

As fantastic as Canadia is, I'm ready to blow this joint and be home.

Not much happening in Toronto

I'm a little bit frustrated. I'm in week 4 of this running thing. In the past weeks the first run of the new week was hard and the rest were significantly easier. This week the first run was really hard. Now I finished the third run of the week, but don't feel ready to go on to the next week. I still feel like it's too hard. Maybe I'm a big wuss. This week was 3 and 5 minute intervals. It's kind of embarrassing to tell runners that it's hard for me to run for 5 minutes straight, but it is. It probably doesn't help that I haven't run every other day like I should be. Maybe cause I'm giving myself too much space in between. I'll do better. Running in Toronto isn't as inspiring as Wilmington either. The temperature is nice, but I'm running through a very industrial area. Sometimes there aren't sidewalks and it smells bad. I'm quite the complainer.

Today I slept longer than I have in months and months. I don't normally like sleep past 10:30 or so. I just feel like I'm wasting my day. Today I slept until 1:20. I can't even remember most of the dreams I dreamed. The last one I had before I woke up involved a tall military guy who was wearing short shorts and first appeared to have no arms but was pretending. I was working at some bar type place. I think Michal was there. It was kind of strange and confusing. And oddly humorous. I wish I could remember the others.

Yesterday was the long day of our trip. We had a lot of sitting around time which makes the day go by really slowly. We did a Pittsburg round trip during the afternoon and came to Toronto for the night. I've just discovered that an old college friend, Neil, lives about 30 minutes from here and works right around the corner. I need to find a way of keeping up with where I know people. I hate spending a long time somewhere, bored out of my mind, and finding out the next day or week that I knew someone there.

It's time to head back to Atlanta and then turn around and come back. I wish I could just leave all my stuff in the hotel. My bags are really heavy this trip for some reason. Knowing my luck though, if I left it here we'd get our flight canceled or something.

I hate the way my teeth feel when I wake up

I've been trying to avoid the "this is what I had for lunch" kind of blogs and evidently other than what I eat, my life isn't very interesting lately. Come to think of it, I haven't really been eating anything interesting lately. How sad.

I'm in Melbourne, FL. It would be great except I have to leave in an hour. Our hotel very nice and is right on the beach so I can hear the waves right now. I can also hear the loud roar of the ac equipment right outside my room and it's interfering with my wave noise. There's a funny sign on the desk in here. It says "If smoking occurs during your stay..." It makes me a little curious to know how smoking can occur. I thought you had to intentionally make something like that happen?

Today we fly back to Atlanta, wait around a couple hours, do a round trip to Pittsburg, wait around a few more hours, and go to Toronto for a long time. I'd much rather we spend a long time here, but I guess that would be too much fun. It's hard to be at work when the weather is so beautiful and I'm missing out on it. But when the weather is bad it makes working more difficult.

hi ho, hi ho

It's Sunday again. I can't necessarily remember the last Sunday. This week has been very, very full, and very long. I did a nap Friday night. Then I catered yesterday from 3-11. We're catering the concerts at The Fred in PTC. This weekend is Huey Lewis and the News. I'm about to head back over there for another concert today. I should be cooking some food since my cereal probably won't tide me over for the day, but I have a headache and don't feel like it. The concert last night was pretty fun. It's hard work, but it's sometimes nice to work with people who are having a good time. It's kind of like doing flights that take people on vacation. They're always in a good mood and it's nice to be a little part of their good time. I need to go get ready and find some food. I am not working at all tomorrow and it makes me so happy. I complain about working - who wouldn't rather be sitting at home or with friends and family - but it doesn't feel good to know that every time I work I'm getting closer to be debt free. That's what I tell myself anyway.

such a, such a busy day.

Today is one of those days when I would give nearly anything to not have to go to work. I have to go to Providence tonight for a short few hours on the ground and then come back in the morning. I'm glad because the alternative was two miserable days of work, but I'd still rather be staying at home.

I had one of the most productive days I've had in a very long time. I had two cherry coke zeros and it makes me wonder if they're the magic motivation I've been looking for all these years. Not sure, but they did the trick today.

Yesterday after work I picked Michal up from school. My mama left to visit Joy in Spain yesterday. I'm really excited that she is going. I hope she likes it as much as I did. Since she was gone I got Michal and played mama for the night and morning. I have a feeling it was nothing like actually being a mother. We met Amie at La Hacienda for supper which was lovely. Michal practiced her amazing Spanish and Amie made everyone laugh with her terrible Spanish. I just sat and smiled and said gracias. Next we went home and said hello to the padre before he went to work. For the rest of the evening I entertained Michal with my air guitaring while she did homework. This morning I made sure I got her to school on time so she wouldn't get kicked out of school (like I dreamed she had for being late). We had a lovely evening and morning. In case no one has noticed, I have the coolest siblings in the world.

After that it was the perfect time to go home and clean and organize my bathroom. And then clean my room. And move my bed. And move it again. And pay bills. And go to the bank. And find out my catering work schedule for the next few weeks. And clear junk out of my car. And hang curtains. And wash all my towels and bedding. And swap all my trips this month. My caffeine buzz is wearing off just in time to start getting ready for work. It's a beautiful day. Hopefully it will mean good flying (though I'd prefer no flying). The perfume I bought off ebay (for nearly half price) arrived today. It smells soooo good. It's Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel. (Is that right Peter?) So now I can smell like a dream while I go to work.

I dread the thought of working 6 or 7 days a week for the next forever, but after getting my refunds and doing some calculations, paying off my debt is within sight. It's really encouraging and makes me want to do the extra work and saving to get it done.

Enough productivity for now. I'm going to go shower. I think I'll get some ice cream cake and eat it while I'm in there :-D.