south to north

I'm writing this from the living room of my favorite Portland, Maine residents, Amy and Shane. Talk about spur of the moment trips - last night I was sitting at home being a grouch and sent Amy a message asking what her off days were. Mine are during the week this month which makes visiting hard on most people, since normal people work during the week. She replied and said she was off Wed, so I checked the flights and here I am. I've already let their dog run away, eaten all their food, gone through all their secret stuff, and now I'm downloading viruses on the computer :D. Just kidding. The weather up here is lovely.

I've realized that in the midst of all the unhappiness I've been experiencing lately, I've been forgetting to care about other people's unhappiness. It's so sad cause one of the best cures for unhappiness and depression (that I've noticed anyway) is to focus on something outside of yourself. This is hard to do when you're unhappy but I think you have to get to a point where you're tired of feeling bad and want to do something about it. I feel like a door has been closed in my life. It was a door that led to a lot of beautiful and happy things, but either there is a better door for me to go through or it just isn't the right time for me to go through that one. Only the Lord knows. Sometimes I wish He'd let me in on what's going on... In the meantime I'm going to enjoy some different scenery. As much as it sucks, I think it helps that in my heart the door has finally been closed. Hopefully now I will be able to really let go and move forward. We'll see.