These are the days.

Tonight I lie in bed and listen to the squeal of metal on metal as a train passes. I just bought tickets for the first leg of our United States exodus and the reality of Vietnam is setting in. I wonder what the nighttime sounds will be like in one month.

Today in church I knew all the songs. I like this because then I can really sing along. I especially like "Come Thou Fount." The harmony is easy and I love the thought of my heart being bound by God's mercy. Mercy is a wonderful chain.

As I sang I realized that I didn't have to worry about my voice cracking. I could push as hard as I could and it would go. My range is still the same, but there is so much more to my voice.

It reminded me of what a momentous year this has been. Extreme and wonderful voice-altering surgery in January (shortly following my 29th birthday.) A trip to Thailand in March where I rode an elephant and snorkeled for the first time. In April, a tumultuous, short-lived, and productive break from Jonathan was followed by thoughts of moving to Vietnam. These thoughts quickly became a reality which fast forwarded our desire to be married. July made us legal. August made us official. We had the best wedding I could have ever hoped for.

Now it's August. I'm a married woman. I'm living in Jonathan's apartment surrounded by all of our (I'm getting used to things being ours now) earthly possessions. It's driving me insane, but thankfully the mess is temporary (I hope the insanity is too). Jonathan is gone for what I'm hoping will be the last stretch of days/nights we'll spend apart for a long while.

Lately, I often feel on the verge of tears. I have never been happier than I am now. Somehow though, happy tears feel the same coming out as sad tears do. The happiness of going to Vietnam with my best friend and husband can't exist without the sadness of leaving my family and friends. I have a friend here who is sick, and I don't know if I'll see him when I come back.

There is no adventure without some pain.

All is now quiet outside. My insides are trying to follow suit. Even good changes take getting used to.

Bachelor pad popcorn

I have moved into a bachelor pad. Because of this, I am having popcorn, pepper jack cheese, and beer for a dinner at midnight. I don't want to get my fingers dirty so I'm eating popcorn in a way that reminds me of my daddy and of being in the nursery as a kid. Different parents took turns keeping the nursery during church. Sometimes my parents would bring popcorn as a snack, and my daddy taught us to eat the popcorn off the napkin/paper towel with no hands. Just by using our tongues to pick up the popcorn. Evidently it wasn't the most civilized way to do things, but I enjoyed it. As a child, it's practically magic to be able to pick something up just by touching it with your tongue. Well mannered or not, it was a lot more fun than what other parents were teaching in nursery.

It dawned on me, on the way home tonight, that I officially no longer live at 1660 Peachtree. No more crazy left turns across Peachtree Street (or is it Peachtree Road at that point?) No more obnoxious speed bumps. No more spying on all the crazies at the pool. No more speedo man. No more huge closet, bedroom, and shower.

In exchange, I get to live with my best friend (who happens to be my husband.) I'm pretty sure he's worth the closet. Until Saturday, though, I'm in housing limbo. Everything is a mess right now, but it's okay.

Tonight I finished my last trip for the next 11 or so days.

Life is wonderful.

If I had a million dollars...

I'm listening to Radio Free Lunch on Davefm. The theme today is "If money were no object, who would be your ultimate wedding band?" Bare Naked Ladies' song "If I had a million dollars" is being played which seems doubly fitting. I think they would be very entertaining at a wedding.

I find it hard to write when my mind is consumed by one or two themes - which is has been lately. I think I just find it hard to write in general right now. It concerns me. I'm not sure what the problem is.

The winds of change are blowing, but not in a very strong determined fashion. It's more the kind of wind that sneaks up out of nowhere and blows your stack of papers all over the place, completely disrupting the current calm in your life, but not actually changing anything.

Today is the first day in a few weeks where I wasn't working, trying to go somewhere (or come home), hanging out in another state, or sick. I hardly know what to do with myself. I'll probably spend a lot of time preparing for my next four day trip (long overnight in Toronto!), followed directly by a trip to northern California.

Last week Peter and I drove from San Diego to Las Vegas for his 21st birthday. The drive was beautiful, especially to one person who has never seen "real mountains" and to two people who have never seen a desert. Vegas was overwhelming. We only had one night and part of two days to hang out, and if you've ever been there, you know you can spend a week just looking at all the shops and cool architecture. It was hard to divide our time between all the insane people watching, checking the city out, and just having a good time.

We ate a pound cake that I had carried from GA to FL, back to GA, to IL and back, to CA, then to NV. That cake had more miles on it than some people will ever get. Leave it to our wonderful mother to make sure her young son has a good cake for his birthday.

Some of that cake would go great with the coffee I'm having right now...

From Outer Bavaria, Illinois

Moline has one of the strangest hotels in our system. It makes you feel like you're in ancient Bavaria. As I look out my window I have to bend and twist to see through the diamonds of glass that aren't either stained glass or have a picture of a beer stein or bar wench dancing. The rooms have ornate dark furniture, drapes around and behind the head of the bed, and electrical outlets in the least practical places. It seems to be clean enough, but I still can't shake the feeling I'm staying in someone's grandmother's house (and not in a good way.)

I hate working on Sundays. I can't remember the last time I saw my family in Atlanta or went to church. I miss them all. The only reason I'm working today is that I'm doing training flights (for time and a half), and this month all the training is happening on Sun and Mon. Yes, I'm going to teach other people how to be flight attendants. It is a little frightening.

Though I'm flying part of it, my weekend was not all work. Friday Mr. Dees and I incorporated exercise and fun and did all our activities in Atlanta on foot. We visited the Automobiles exhibit at the High Museum. I'm pretty sure I'll be going back. From there we walked to Atlantic Station where we got birthday presents for Charity, window shopped, and I lusted over shoes I can't afford or wear. Four hours later a glass of wine at The Grape seemed like the perfect way to refresh before walking back to my apartment. It was one of those days where you can't help but love living in Atlanta. Our day was capped off by dinner and dancing at Loca Luna to celebrate Charity's 30th birthday. The icing on the cake was a surprise visit back to Atlanta for the evening by my dear Mr. Lewis.

My May flight schedule still has me smiling. The longest trip I have is 3 days - which I'm discovering is a vital part of me remaining a happy flight attendant. I also have the same off days as Jonathan, AND I'm off all the rest of the Sundays. I know I say this a lot but life is good. I am thankful that God isn't fair.

It's chilly in Cakron

In the fall and spring I fall into this self inflicted false belief that because it's warm in Atlanta it should be warm everywhere else. As I have said, this is a false belief. It is warm in Atlanta, and I nearly froze to death here in Ohio. That may be a slight exaggeration, but I did miss my scarf and pants.

The same thing happened last weekend in California. Another self inflicted false belief I have is that California is warm. I will have to say, though, that this belief is more a product of my environment and less naivete. It's a coastal state, and in my experience, being on the coast automatically indicates warmth. Oh, California, how you have shattered all my preconceived weather notions. I packed dresses and skirts and found myself in low 50 degree weather. One day I'll learn.

I went to Fado last night with Jamie and Jonathan for some beer, quality friend time, and because they advertised Irish music. It turned out to be a random group of people sitting around a table, drinking Guinness, and playing Irish tunes on their fiddles, flutes, mandolins, and guitars. I went over to ask what the schedule was and how one becomes a part of such a gathering and they put a violin in my hands. I felt like I imagine most men feel when a small human is thrust into their hands. But after a few minutes I found some songs I could play and it was fun. I do need to cut my nail, since it's impossible to play a violin with long nails. And mine show that I haven't played in a long, long time.

Tomorrow it's off to somewhere in middle America. I love three day trips. The first day is the first day so it's good. The second day is the day before you go home. And the last day is the freedom day. That's what I'll be doing all next month. Life is good.

From a beach with no high-rise hotels

I'm typing this from my iPod using wifi I mooched from a place down the beach so bear with me.

I'm on the island of Koh Chang in the Sea of Siam. The beach here isn't as spectacular as I expected, but they say it has something to do with being on the west side of the island. Jamie and I are going on a snorkeling tour in a little while, but I've been awake since 4am for no real reason. The tour will take us south and we will see 15 islands and stop at 3. The lady we booked it with said Koh Maak, oneof our stops is the most beautiful place. I'm really looking forward to it and hoping I don't get sea sickness.

There is so much to write about and not much time right now. We will be on this island until Friday probably. It took us about 8 hours including a few pit stops and a ferry ride to get here from Bangkok. It is shockingly hot and humid and the only time I've stopped sweating is when I wake up at 2am every day because our AC has out done itself. It is a beautiful and interesting place. This island reminds me of Costa Rica a little except I can't even pretend to understand the signs.

I must go get ready. Hopefully more soon.

chilly walks and couscous

Going to work late in the day is sometimes hard because it causes me to sit around doing nothing - hesitant to start a project because I have to leave. I am always worried about being late for work. Or losing track of time and having to rush. So I do nothing.

The only real accomplishment I have today is going for a really long walk which included two bookstores and the purchase of a Thailand travel book and a small Bible. I've had the hardest time finding a Bible that is easy to carry, but isn't King James Version. For various reasons I'm sick of that version but a little bit unsure what other one I want. I found one but am definitely keeping the receipt.

I cooked another pantry special tonight. I used some couscous that has been sitting in the pantry for as long as I can remember. After I cooked it I noticed a faintly odd smell. I think it had expired - though I ate half of it anyway. I also cooked onions, garlic, celery, and chickpeas and mixed it with some of the couscous. Not the best thing I've ever cooked, but still not bad. I need to go grocery shopping, but haven't been home much lately, and it's pretty low on my list.

Tonight's trip is one little leg to Evansville. I deadhead home in the morning. Not bad for 7.5hrs of pay. I feel like I'm tied to the open time pot trying to find trips that work better with vacation and seeing Jonathan next month. So far just frustration. It always works out somehow though.

Time to throw on the navy polyester.

It's been one week

since surgery. I spent the weekend in and out of sleep - some days being awake much less than I was asleep. I'm sure part of this was because I was healing, but I've been surprised to discover how much easier it is to stay awake when you aren't heavily medicated.

I can tell my voice is different. I don't think the difference is terribly noticeable, but it is definitely easier to talk. I got the stitches out on Tuesday, but won't see them about my voice for 3 more weeks. It will fluctuate a lot between now and then.

Not working for a week is nice, but I'm getting to the point where I have too much time to think. I started another writing class and have two assignments I need to be working on. It's hard for me to get motivated to start living like a responsible adult again though.

Day 3 with the gortex

I'm on the third day of my healing and it's going great. My mama is taking such good care of me and I've had a few visitors to interrupt my sleep/lounge around activities.

I've been able to talk ever since I had surgery. I try to keep it in moderation, but usually get sleepy before my voice gets too tired. I don't feel like I sound very different, but others say my voice sounds stronger with the same amount of effort that used to get a pretty weak sound.

I'm regaining a lot of flexibility in my neck, which was pretty sore from the angle it was in during the surgery and just from the surgery. For the first day I felt like someone had punched me in my throat. No sharp pain, just an ache. I've been diligent about taking my medicine regularly though which is keeping the pain well under control. They said today would be the most painful day, but it's been good so far. I still have a lot of numbness on my throat all the way up to my jaw line.

There is hope that once the swelling goes down I will be able to swallow without turning my head. I can swallow better now but every once in a while it makes me choke which hurts more than it's worth. I have a row of stitches in my throat that aren't so pretty, but they will come out Tuesday. Jonathan said the cut is already looking calmer than even yesterday. Between him and my mother I have been well fed - chicken soup, spaghetti squash with spinach, a gravy biscuit, yogurt, and banana. As long as I chew a lot most things are easy to swallow.

So now I'm about to take my steriod, percocet, and antibiotic and probably go back to sleep for a while. I slept the best last night (between the alarms I set for my medicine) than I have all week.

The prayers and love continue to make me feel happy and peaceful.

sleepy, happy surgery day

I'm working on a thorough explanation of my day, but for now I'll sum it up.

Mama, Jonathan, Jamie, and I got to the hospital around 10am this morning. After a lengthy pre-op I went into surgery about 1:20pm. I had two really amusing anesthesiologists, plus three friendly doctors (or two doctors and a resident - I'm not sure), and several nurses. They used a local anesthesia along with calming/relaxing drugs. They also put cocaine (no lie) in my nose so they could stick a camera tube into my throat at different points during the surgery. Cocaine is evidently good for shrinking your nasal membranes... I was aware of everything which made the process really interesting - and not scary or disgusting at all. They answered my questions and only gave me a few times I couldn't talk or swallow. I was really impressed by Dr. Klein's experience that became evident as he was explaining things to the other two doctors.

I was wrapped up like a bug in a rug (or a crazy person in a loose straight jacket). My eyes were covered to keep the light out, but Dr. Klein did move the towels long enough to show me the gortex they were putting in my throat. They cut through the skin and moved the muscles aside to get to my thyroid cartilage. I think they ended up cutting a little bit of the muscle away for easier access. Then they removed a 3mm x 5mm piece of cartilage to make a window to my right vocal cord.

At this point they began testing pressure in different places to find out where they would eventually put the implant. I would count to 10, hold a low eeeee sound, occasionally a high one, and shout. We eventually settled on shouting "heads down, stay down" which is our flight attendant emergency evacuation command - and probably the only thing I've ever really shouted. He would tell me to speak and we would all comment on the results. Sometimes it was raspier, sometimes it was clearer but with an obvious strain. I did get one that was a slightly higher tone, which I told him would be fine with me if it was the best one. The one we eventually settled on was basically like my voice except clearer and louder. One of the people in a more distant part of the room even commented that it was definitely the loudest one.

They finally got it in place and stitched me back up. There is a drain under a bandage, but they said I didn't bleed very much so the drain will probably come out in the morning. I listened as they instructed the resident (?) on how to do a stitch that will allow the drain to be removed and not have to put another stitch in. Like I said, it was a really interesting process.

I spent about 2.5 hours in recovery mostly dozing and being given medicine. My room wasn't ready and eventually they took me to another room. I feel like I have done an inordinate amount of waiting today (along with my mama, Jamie, Jonathan, my Uncle Norborne, and Charity who stopped by but I couldn't see her cause I was still in recovery.) Other than that it's been a great experience. It is a very calm, friendly environment here.

I talked a lot when I first got in the room and told what I could remember before I forget all the details. Now my neck is sore. The nurse finally brought me some apple juice, broth, and medicine so I'll probably sleep soon. It's been a long and wonderful day.

I have been surrounded by love in person and via phone, facebook, email, and skype. God continues to be good to me - as He always has been - and I feel so very loved. My mama is spending the night here at the hospital with me, and we expect to be discharged in the morning when the doctors do their rounds.

On top of bro-ccoli, all covered with snow...

Recently I learned from Jonathan that you can microwave broccoli in a bowl with a little water, pour some olive oil and sea salt on it and you have a divine bit of food. It seems most people like to cook broccoli into a soggy, forest green, bit of hideousness. I was pleased to discover just a few minutes would bring that bright shade of green and perfect bite-ability that I enjoy in broccoli. I ate an entire head of it. My fingers are evidently not as skilled on the microwave keypad, or maybe I was just too impatient, so Jonathan remains the king of broccoli microwaving.

I finished a two-day trip tonight. It was easy. An Omaha overnight sandwiched in between two round trips to Ohio. Omaha has evidently had the misfortune of two blizzards in the last few weeks. There was a car in the parking lot that has been covered in snow for the last week. There were piles of snow as high as a house. Thankfully, unlike Wichita last week, the snow is still white and pretty. It was actually still falling. I thought of my younger siblings who have never seen that much snow.

This whole month I've been flying with flight attendants with are my friends. It's made a huge difference in my feelings about going to work. It's nice not to worry about being stuck in a metal tube with angry, lazy, bossy, rude, loud... You get it. Last night my fellow flight attendant and I had a pajama party complete with boxes of wine, chocolate, and a chick flick. "27 Dresses" had me reminiscing about some of the delightful weddings I've had the privilege of being in... We didn't have time to paint our nails.

I had great plans for the evening (after I got home at 9:30.) The dishwasher needs unloading. The dishwasher needs loading. I need to take the trash out. And, all my work shirts, undershirts, and socks are dirty. But, so far I've eaten random things, been made extremely uncomfortable by Michael Scott on The Office, chatted with Christine in HK, and drank some wine. There's always the morning, right?

I finished Pride and Prejudice. It was great. I want to watch the movie now.

rain drops on a Saturday afternoon

I'm kind of happy that it's raining today. It gives me an excuse to sit inside and drink coffee with my beau. It's my first day off in a week and feels wonderful.

Being full, happy, content and warm in times like these does make me feel a bit guilty. Last night as Jonathan and I stood in my apartment we watched the police tape off an area on the bridge where Peachtree Street crosses I-85. It was confirmed this morning that a man had committed suicide by jumping off the bridge onto the interstate below. I always have a hard time understanding how someone can feel so hopeless and unhappy that they actively want to die, but now, in light of the disaster in Haiti this week, it is even harder for me to understand why someone would choose to end their life. How can millions of people be fighting for survival in one place and a person is giving up in another place?

The last few weeks have repeatedly made me realize how fortunate I am. We spent about 2 weeks in below freezing weather here in Atlanta. I would come home from a trip, turn the heat on, and smell the distinctive smell of heat. How many people in the world have never smelled mechanically produced heat? How many people will never know the instant warmth of a hot shower? We are spoiled people.

I was at a restaurant last night having dinner with Jonathan and another couple and we saw the images of suffering in Haiti on tv. I wanted to turn away, to not let those pictures stick in my mind. They are unpleasant and uncomfortable. But what is my mental discomfort compared to the loss of these people? I hope I can never ignore the suffering of others. I also hope that I don't just sit around and appreciate how great my life is. If my discomfort doesn't lead to action on behalf of others, then I am a sad person.

On a more cheerful note, I am reading "Pride and Prejudice" for the first time. I can see why it is such a classic. In spite of the fancy language, it's actually quite funny and charming.

I met a man on my last flight yesterday who made me feel happy for marriage. He has been married 30 years and said he was probably just as excited to get home and see his wife as I was to see Jonathan. He said she is his best friend and that the trip they just took would have been so much more fun if she could have come. She is a very straight forward woman, which helps because they always both know where they stand with each other. When they first got married as juniors in high school people placed bets on their marriage only last 8months - a year max. I hope they collected on those bets.

I'm annoyed

The music in the Houston Airport reminds me of what they play before funerals. The tinny organ sound. The uninteresting melody. Where is the body?

Today is day four of six. I did it to myself. I think just knowing I get off work at 9pm and have to be back before 8am is filling me with a sense of annoyance. I was annoyed at the long dark hairs that were in my bed last night. Annoyed that the captain made us leave the hotel so early this morning that we've been at the airport now for almost an hour and the plane still isn't even here. I ordered a sausage biscuit which, according to the sign, included egg. When I got the biscuit all it was was a piece of sausage on a biscuit. I went back and the guy said - you ordered a sausage biscuit. Yeah, but I thought the freaking egg came with it since the sign says it does. As I'm eating my biscuit I see a couple walk past. I think they might be cast members on Jersey Shore, which I have never watched, but I know the type. She is wearing a tshirt, oversize baseball cap, black aviators (inside a building at 10am), white sweatpants and black uggs. I'm so annoyed already that I want to go tell her to take her aviators off and look in the mirror because they must be obscuring her vision and making her think she looks good.

Our plane is here so I'm going to go put on my happy face and go to work. I'm sure it's going to be a fabulous day :)

Oh the weather everywhere is frightful

A little girl got on the flight last night coming out to Wichita, Kansas. She was wearing sparkly red shoes. I thought it was very appropriate. I wonder if she clicked them and then her mom bought a plane ticket.

I just walked about two miles in 27 degree weather with snow flurrying in my face to pay someone to rip hair off my body. I find it amusing how willing people are to share personal information when you're at their mercy.

I'm in the middle of a trip that is payback for not working at Christmas time. I played then so now I must earn some money. It's been a good trip. I'm just glad that (as of right now) I don't have to get up at 4am for at least another month.

It seems that the whole United States has settled into a nice cozy upper twenties environment. It was 23 in Ft. Walton Beach, 25 in Atlanta, and now 27 in Wichita. I feel like I might be getting used to it, but it might just be the many layers of clothes I constantly wear that is allowing me to ignore reality. Going to the bathroom on a regional jet wearing a scarf, pea coat, sweater, vest, dress shirt, undershirt, bra, slacks, thermals, underwear, knee-high wools socks, and boots should now be considered an Olympic sport. I'm thinking about getting a catheter just for the winter.

I've been trying to eat more fruit and vegetables lately. It's making me realizing how much crap I eat. I also eat a lot out of boredom. Flying will do that to you.

I'm nuts for butternut

Tonight I made some delightful butternut squash soup thanks to advice from Adri and Christine and just plain luck. It was fun and tasty. I think I put too much sage (I prefer savory butternut to sweet) so it reminds me a little of Thanksgiving, but it's still so good I made toast just so I could sop up what was left in the blender.

We're having some frightfully cold weather here in Atlanta. I'm not a fan at all. I have the heat set on 67 and it has been running constantly for days. I'm also wearing smartwool socks, slippers, pants, and three shirts. I have to do a round trip to Valdosta tomorrow morning and am dreading it. It's easy money but it's so cold I'd rather be snug in bed.

Today I did a whole lot of busy stuff. I bought vegetables, broth, lemons, and cereal at Trader Joe's so I can eat consistently and healthily this week. Cooking for yourself is not only cheap and healthy, but it gives such a sense of accomplishment.

It's a good thing I'm eating cheap because I spent $50 today to get my FMLA paperwork filled out. I don't understand how they justify it. It's not like they're doing me a favor. I could understand if that was the case, but it's not something I can do myself. They leave you no choice. I was also reminded that my surgery will be followed by a 24hr observation stay in the hospital. I've never stayed in the hospital since I can remember. One more thing to add to the nerves of it. I'm sure it'll be fine and wonderful.

Sometimes I like to look out my window and pretend that the peach on top of the building across the street from me is a big harvest moon. Works better if I take my contacts off.

On that note, it's time to iron the collar and sleeves of my work shirt and go to sleep.

so this is Christmas

It's Christmas. I'm at my parents', listening to Elvis sing "Blue Christmas" and Israel yell at someone in Chinese. It's kind of funny.

It's nice to be here. Michal gave me a manicure and painted my nails earlier. Joy's Australian friend is here so we had good southern food like collard greens and fried chicken tonight. I made a pie crust, we sang along with the Young Messiah, and watched The Christmas Story. I think it gets funnier the older I get.

Last night I went to TanJoe's. On the way I drove by the site of our house that once burned part way on Christmas day 15 years ago. It's been a good week seeing my family and friends. I met some really interesting people and learned how to make limoncello.

I do wish California and Georgia weren't so far away from each other, but I'm glad J gets to be with his family. I just found out that if I had done the trip I was supposed to do this week I would be snowed in in Wichita until at least tomorrow night. Instead of Jack Frost nipping at our noses we have his cousin George Drizzle dripping down our necks... Such is Christmas in Georgia. I'm glad to be here. I'm going to sleep.

From the land of cheese and chard

I was awake this morning as we came across the Atlantic and started seeing the French coastline. I looked down at all the lights, all the small villages, and thought how funny it is that there are people sleeping down there who speak a different language than I do, may never leave their village, and don't care about America. It's a wonderful reality check. I realize I have been homebound too long when thoughts like this make an impression on me. It's so easy to get caught up in my little life. To think that what is going on personally and in the US is so important. It's easy to forget that there are billions of people in the world who have equally significant and interesting lives. Sometimes it overwhelms me because I want to meet all of them and know I never will.

Jonathan and I spent the afternoon walking around the village where his friends live. It's right on the edge of Lake Zurich. The sun came out in the late afternoon and gave everything a creamsicle glow. There is a wonderful mixture of old and new here. His friends' apartment is the most comfortable European apartment I've ever been in. It has a full size shower and bath. It is warm, and I didn't feel like the hot water was going to run out if I took more than three minutes. It's on the top (fourth) floor of the building and has windows that face the lake. I'm not sure if it's a renovated old building or if it's new. The elevator is officially the smallest I have ever seen. It's about 2.5 feet square, though that might be an exaggeration. It makes me realize how big everything is back home. Even the bottle of shampoo and body wash are smaller here. I don't know why this is. I wonder if they have the 164oz. big gulps at the petrol stations...

Now we're waiting for our host to get off work so we can celebrate Jonathan's 38th birthday. I'm not suffering from jetlag so much as I'm suffering from mass body clock confusion. It's been dark here for an hour and I couldn't remember if it was just after noon back home or just after midnight. Oh well.

The trains running on the opposite side of the shore look like sparkly centipedes crawling among the buildings. It's a beautiful night and I'm a fortunate girl.

A day for the memory file box

I feel spoiled today. I'm staying in a beautiful hotel in Greenville, SC. I spent a few hours this afternoon walking around town, looking in shops, and checking out the Reedy River Falls Park. It seems that everything about today is beautiful. The air smells like fall in an indescribable way. The trees and starting to show red and yellow tips. It's overcast but the temperature is perfect for wearing long sleeves and a scarf.

I slept until 10:30 this morning. I feel bad because I only slept in about a third of the bed. It's a king with a real duvet and thick white sheets. The coffee maker in the room comes with Starbucks coffee. I am now drinking my second cup and eating a delightful molasses clove cookie.

The Falls Park is beautifully landscaped. There are benches and swings throughout to sit and watch the ducks and chipmunks. It is such a peaceful day. I wish I had brought a book or something to write on. Or maybe that I was able to just sit still and be quiet for more than a few minutes.

I stopped in a shop that had interesting and creatively stimulating jewelry and art work. There were earrings and bracelets made of old watch parts and others made of old Starbucks gift cards. It makes me wish I had money to buy everything and simultaneously wish that I would make time to do more creative things.

I signed up for an online writing workshop. My first assignment was due last night. I have yet to receive any feedback about it. The class is Essentials of Writing Personal Essays.

All hell may break loose when I go to the airport and fly to Atlanta, but this has been such a relaxing and enjoyable day I know I'll be able to handle it.

Gray day in Vermont

Today I am in Burlington, VT. It's getting to be that time of year when it stops being such a favorite place. Or maybe I would love it more if I had brought a jacket. It's windy and cold. I walked the mile and a half down to Church Street. The sky and air are gray, but some of the trees are still bright colors. Everyone is hurrying, holding their scarves around their necks. Girls have on boots and hats.

I wasn't sure where I was going. I just had to get out of my room. I'm always drawn to shops with cards, stationery, and blank books for writing. I should probably spend more time writing than looking for books to write in. I can't help it though. I love them. I went to a consignment store where I almost tried on two pairs of jeans until I remembered I already had enough jeans and not enough money. The sales girls were chatting about wallets and belts one of them was pricing. An older man came in asking for an appointment to consign things. A young couple was digging through marked down sale boxes in the back. He liked the vest but she wasn't sure about it.

I went to the end of the street and started my way back. I was surprised by how young the kids on the street were. I always think of Burlington as a college town, but I guess regular people live here too. There were a lot of skateboards, hoodies, and piercings. Girls in short skirts reminded me of cold days in my youth when appearance was more important than comfort. They were cold for different reasons than I was, but it's cold all the same.

I stopped in a chocolate store. They had truffles. Lots and lots of truffles. And hot chocolate. The girls recommended the New World hot chocolate, which was 74% chocolate, as opposed to the Old World one which was only 53%. I got a champagne truffle and an organic Aztec one. The Aztec one had cayenne pepper, cinnamon, and lime. I sat at the bar along the wall, drank my hot chocolate, ate my truffles one crumb at a time, read my book, and listened to people come and go. The little girl told her father quite certainly that she wanted the apricot one. The guy who held the door for me was hoping to get hired. It sounded good for him since he was always available and could work over the holidays.

I waited 30 minutes for the van to pick me up. I was waiting on the corner of Main and Church. The wind was blowing from both directions so I stood inside a little glass alcove and watched for the van. I think people thought I was spying on them. I was just really cold.

A group of three boys walked by. One had a caramel colored afro. One had long, wavy black hair. One hair shoulder length hair with bangs that fell across his forehead. The wavy haired one had dimples and at first I thought he was a girl. Honestly, they could've all passed for girls.

A lady sat at the corner with a sign asking for change. She had clean jeans and a jacket and cleanest edge on the back of her hair. After she left another girl came to the same spot. She went to the trash can, picked up the previous ladies sign, read it, then rooted through for another piece of cardboard. She had clean hair and clothes, a backpack, and according to the guys standing next to me, a cell phone.

A girl walked past me dressed completely in black with a downward hook shaped scar at the corner of her mouth that made me curious.

I ate tuna salad and celery for supper just now. My life is so glamourous. I'm not particularly hungry though. Tomorrow I go to Atlanta and then to White Plains for the night.

Caffeine, pasta, and pelicans

One of the beautiful things about having a barista who is also your brother (or is it a brother who is also a barista?) is waking up to the biggest Starbucks iced espresso you've ever had. My veins are tingling and my feet are twitching. What a way to start the day.

And as I type (still lounging on my bed) he comes back upstairs with two bowls of cereal, peanut butter apples, and orange juice... What a host.

Yesterday I walked 2.5 miles (possibly more since I had to backtrack thanks to a huge fence) to pick up a rental car. Peter and I usually slum it on public transportation, but figured for $13/day we could take a trip off the trolley path. Then I drove to downtown SD to pick him and his friend Francesco from class. I have never driven a car in San Diego. Neither of them have either. It was like the blind leading the blind. Peter gave me a street name which I would then find only to have him tell me he was wrong and did I see a big building - or were they condos - and a store on my right or left. Eventually I found them standing on a street corner (hmmm) and we went to lunch. I had a California burrito (complete with french fries) nearly the size of my head. Peter had to go back to school to work on a project so I went back to his house to sit on the back deck, watch airplanes, listen to the traffic, give myself a pedicure, and enjoy the sunshine.

Later I picked him up again and we drove to Shelter Island. It's really a peninsula with a lot of pelicans on it. Small fishing boats were coming and going and we'd watch as the pelicans spotted the boats they knew dropped stuff for them and they'd swarm around the boat. There was also a sea lion who barked and flipped around and seemed to rule the area. We discussed how humans seem to be the only species where the female is more attractive, which then led to a discussion about male/female roles in relationships (all the while breathing through our mouths to avoid the stench of a place inhabited by birds.)

Then it was off to get groceries. We debated the merits of giving your product the most unappealing name possible (Flax-Plus). Do people feel like they're eating something healthy if it sounds gross? At home we listened to more music and made spaghetti with pesto, Italian sausage, and tomatoes. It was tasty and I ate too much. We were both tired from either getting up early being from a different time zone, or just being so fabulous.