Home sweet away from home

Today is a day that I have to appreciate the type of job I have. I am fortunate enough to be off work and come to my grandparents' house for the last time. They're moving into an apartment this weekend. It's a good thing for them. Maintaining a big house and keeping up with meals aren't things they should have to worry about right now. They're both still in very healthy and I'd like to see them have more freedom and less responsibility. So I'm happy for them.

It's a huge change though, and I don't think change is easy on anyone. They have lived in this house for 17 years. It's the only house I've ever seen them in. Having lost both of my grandparents on my mama's side fairly early on, this house holds most of my grandparent memories. When I was 12 and I came to summer camp, I came here for the week after. I was so homesick at camp that my grandma worried I'd never be able to leave home. It was better when I was here though because we always did something fun. We went hiking and canoeing or went out to see our cousins. There were raspberries in the garden that I could pick and eat - dirty, buggy, warm, and wonderful. They always had something growing outside that Grandpa was busy mulching, pruning, watering or raking. This house is where I learned that asparagus was amazing, and I loved always having olives in the salads. It was nice when I could come up here alone because that meant I got to sleep in the blue and white room. It has a lot of windows and feels exactly like a bedroom should feel.

I'm going to miss this house. We've had a lot of good times here. We've killed at least one or two pinatas in the play house at Christmas time. This is where Joy and our cousin Elisabeth went swimming in mud and came in covered except for the whites of their eyes. I liked taking walks around the neighborhood and talking. This neighborhood is where Joy learned to drive a stick. I made her park on the hill and then start driving. I'll miss Grandma's violet plants in the kitchen window, but I'm pretty sure those will be going to the apartment.

Hopefully the apartment will make it easier for them to do more of the things they love. I'm looking forward to visiting them there soon. I'm sure there will still be icecream in the freezer at all times.

Making a pit stop at home

It sounds like there is a suit of armour banging around in my dryer. I'm guessing that isn't what it is since I usually dry clean mine. I got home from Massachusetts last night and realized that I had a lot of laundry to do and very little time to do it.

I'm going to be out of town until Friday or Saturday, which involves a lot of packing. I'll be driving to Asheville today to see my grandparents before they move out of their house this weekend. Tomorrow I'm planning to drive back in time to catch the evening flight to SFO with J. We're going to be visiting various members of our families.

Today is Adri's 30th birthday. We had quite a celebration for her on Saturday. I must say, the Amherst folks know how to have a bbq party. There is always more food than we can ever imagine eating - except for the potatoes. They didn't last - and more drink than anyone can ever drink. It was supposed to start at 3 but was kind of rainy and dreary so it didn't really get going until later. I've been visiting Amherst for over 3 year and Adri has very generously shared her group of friends with me. Sometimes I am the only American at their parties. It's nice to know that I could visit South Africa, Colombia, Russia, Ukraine, Lebanon, Pakistan, Iran, Albania or the Cape Verde Islands and know someone there. It was a good time and I think Adri might be realizing how many people love her and think she's amazing. I know I do.

Now it's time to get going. I'm a little nervous about driving in this gas shortage we're having. I think I'll stick to the interstates since I'm not counting on the little mountain towns to have gas. I've also heard they have some in South Carolina. If I do run out I hope it's at least near an airport.

I need a fire extinguisher for my sunburn, but I can’t get to it.

If you were to look in the dictionary for responsible things to do I have an idea of what you might find. Possibly a picture of me, lying on the beach in the full sun, with a bottle of sunscreen in my bag next to me. Oh yeah, the sunscreen (that I hauled all the way from Georgia) is unused and I am sunburned. I even had someone offer me sunscreen and I turned it down. Some things I just never learn...

That was yesterday. I was in Ft. Walton enjoying one of the most perfect beach days I've seen in a long time. One reason I got burned is because I was determined to enjoy the beach as much as possible, since the rest of this trip has been pure torture. I'm exhausted and people are stupid. I had to get up at 3:30 this morning and did 4 flights.

The other day a lady got on the plane. She looked a little granola-ish. Hippy skirt. Leggings, Chunky black boots. Short hair. No make up. She also had her running shoes tied onto the strap of her computer bag. Then she turned around to take her accordian off her back. Sounds like a punch line doesn't it? I commented on what a strange carry on it was. She said she plays in her friends' band sometimes. Interesting. This band is going to Palestine next month to play in a circus. Even more interesting. She is on her way home from visiting her partner in New Haven, CT (totally thought she was a lesbian). He also plays the accordian (guess not). I commented what an bizarre coincidence it was that they both played the accordian (not exactly the guitar or drums). She thought the fact that they shared the same birthday was more of a coincidence (my vote is still on the accordian playing coincidence). I was amused. She makes me feel boring somehow. I want to know how the circus is.

I have a question. Have I been a flight attendant for so long that I think it's bizarre and stupid to place personal belongings on life saving equipment? If I had a dollar for every time I took someone's bag out of the fire extinguisher compartment, I'd be rich. I want to ask them where their brain is. Instead I just take the bag, identify the idiot, slam it into another bin, and give them a death glare. I hope that their hair catches on fire and I can't get to the fire extinguisher because they're stupid bag is on top of it.

I also had a man spill his water directly into his crotch. I'm not sure if he actually spilled it or if he peed himself and claimed he spilled it. And I laughed at him. Is that wrong?

So my trip hasn't been entirely terrible. I'm just tired and sunburned. But I get to go to sleep in a nice bed in a nice hotel, and I'll be home this time tomorrow.

Usually it’s good not to have gas...

It's a weird and confusing sight to drive past gas stations that don't have any gas. Or that only have regular. I know I haven't been following the news very closely, but I don't understand what the problem is. I have enough gas to get to work tomorrow, and back home on Thursday, but it concerns me a little to think that when I get back gas might be even harder to come by. I'll have to investigate the matter.

This was a very busy, but also very good weekend. Friday morning I worked at the job part 2 and catered a breakfast. It was for a business in Ptc and only lasted an hour. It wasn't the most lucrative Friday morning I've ever had, but it at least paid for the pedicure I treated myself to later. After everyone finished eating we also got to help ourselves which was a nice little bonus.

When I got home from the store I ran 4 miles, which is a personal record. It was tough cause it was noon, and despite the cool mornings and evenings we've had, it was still pretty hot. I figured my feet needed some TLC so Molly and I got pedicures and now my toes are an interesting, but lovely, shade of tangerine(?).

Later J came down from the north and we ventured first to F'ville for some browsing, and then down to Newnan for the birthday party of some new church friends. I'm finding out that when you live in the general Fayette/Coweta area it's going to be a really small world. At this party of church friends I met fellow airline employees and old high school sports rivals, and the party was two doors down from the house Jersey just moved into. It's cool to be able to connect different parts of my life and make more friends.

The majority of the rest of my weekend was spent at the Shakerag Art Festival in Ptc where I cooked more corn dogs than any normal person will ever cook in their life. I do have to say that I'm pretty good at it. There are some friends of friends who have a stand and they needed help. It was a really busy two days, and my feet and legs are exhausted, but the extra bucks are good to have.

Aside from all the crazy work goings on, there have been some interesting developments in my life that put a nervous smile on my face. We'll see how that goes... Now I have to pack for a 4 day trip for the first time in what seems like forever. I've been spoiled being home, but I'm going to spend two nights in the Ft. Walton/ Destin area, so it should be a good trip.

runts and sharks

My belly is full of good food my mama cooked. That sentence has a lot of double letters in it. The nice thing about eating her cooking is that even if you eat too much and feel really full, it's a healthy kind of full. Not grease based or really heavy on the stomach. I went to Michal's volleyball game and took her home afterwards. Her team is very good so the matches are competitive and fun to watch.

Last night after work I ventured to the other side of Atlanta for spaghetti and company. I noticed a big ziploc bag of banana runts on the kitchen counter. I learned that this was but a small portion of a gift that was intended to entice an ex fiance to become a fiance again. The dumped one, as part of his plan to win his fiance back, has taken to sending her a quarterly email updating her on his life. He also remembered that she liked banana runts and had 20 pounds of them sent to her. Evidently the sandwhich bag full is what is left after she has filled every canister and container in her own kitchen with them. He claims that they were special ordered, but it is suspected that he hand picked them. I haven't quite processed how this makes me feel. Part of me is amused that someone would send another person 20 pounds of banana runts. Part of me is sad for the guy that thinks this will work. Part of me is sad for the guy who special ordered 20 pounds of banana runts. Part of me is grossed out at the thought of him pawing through bag after bag of runts to get 20 pounds worth. Part of me really likes how simple and runt-free my life is.

Today was my day off work. I spent the night at the girls' apartment last night cause it was late, and slept even later. I had a lovely lunch with one of my flight attendant friends. We talked about South Africa since he went there in February and I'm planning on going back there in December. I think he should either write his stories down, or let me. He went on a shark tour and go to be in a cage as a 16 foot great white was within touching distance. He is the second person I've talked to a lot lately who isn't afraid to take risks. He goes on vacations alone and finds his own fun. Some of the stories he told gave me goosebumps just listening to them.

While on the subject of South Africa, I don't think I've mentioned that I'm postponing my surgery. I didn't know that I wouldn't be able to fly while I was on medical leave. I found out that December is a very lucrative time at my other job. Adri is going home for the first time in seven years, and we've been planning on making this trip together for a long time. Also, I'm getting so close to paying off my debt. After taking all these factors into consideration I decided I would be missing out on too much financially and too many travel opportunities by having my surgery in November. I wouldn't be able to visit anyone around the holidays. I wouldn't be able to buy Christmas presents, and I'd delay paying off my loan. I'll be in a much better place by putting it off for a few months. That being said, if there's anywhere I need to go in Jan-March that involves flying, let me know, so I can plan my surgery accordingly.

I have to be at work to cater a breakfast/brunch (that's what they called it) at 7:30am so I should be asleep. I got my line for next month, and while my overnights aren't fun yet, I got 17 days off. Life is good.

Your friendly question-answering flight attendant

I'm sitting here in the flight attendant lounge at the airport, in my cute, non-uniform outfit, admiring the big bandaid on my leg. You'd think after doing something for 14 years or so you'd get it right, but I still managed to take a huge chunk out of my knee this morning when I was shaving. It reminded me of the time I cut my leg when we were living with the Davis'. Angela and I had gotten in a fight about the remote to her stereo (we were 13) and I got back from the shower with blood running down to my ankle. She was so mad at me she wouldn't even look at me or talk to me even though I was practically bleeding to death. I still have a scar from that. I think this one is going to leave a mark as well.

I've been sitting at the airport for the last two days answering questions about our new bidding system. The problem is, there are too many of us to answer questions and too few questions being asked. I've been pretty amused by the flight attendants in here, but sometimes it gets a little crazy. Right now it's just boring.

This is employee appreciation month so we had Chickfila and chips for lunch and supper. This morning, already knowing about the free sandwhiches, I stupidly bought a chicken biscuit. I'm all chickened out now. The other excitement today is this new thing on our company website where you "spin the wheel" and get points. I won 100 on my first spin, which is quite amazing. To get some perspective, I can get a cd player or 4-$10 Starbucks gift cards. I have to come back and do the same thing tomorrow but I'll be in the lounge on Concourse D, otherwise known as the badabing lounge.

This is so exciting. I'm sure you'll all be waiting at the edge of your seat to hear about tomorrow's craziness.

Never too old for fun

I just got home from the amphitheater. Trisha Yearwood performed the last two nights. I'm not much of a country music fan, but she is talented and put on two good shows. Her self professed affinity for sad songs, songs that allow you to wallow in your misery, reminded me why I can't bear to listen to country music very long. I could handle it tonight while I was working, distracted, and generally happy, but God forbid I listened to that stuff when I was already a little down in the dumps. It'd be game over.

This whole summer of concerts has been really enjoyable. It's really hard work, but it's nice being outdoors (even when it rains, or is so hot my hair is soaked in sweat), wearing shorts and polos, listening to music, and serving people who are relaxed and having a good time. One of the things I really enjoy about these concerts is the general age group. They're young enough to be fun, and old enough to be able to tip well. The music may be a little before my time, but not so much that I don't know some of it. I have been seeing and serving some of the same people all summer, and it's nice when they know my name and say hello even when I'm not waiting on them.

These concerts are also great for people watching. A few weeks ago I saw two couples come in and they all had at least one piece of camo clothing on. Some people look like they just rolled out of bed and others look like they just rolled out of Talbots. I've seen a grand variety of fake breasts and huge diamonds (or is it huge breasts and fake diamonds?? - or both). We are in Peachtree City after all. My best guess is that when these ladies' husbands make their first big bucks these are their first two purchases. But what do I know? Whatever they look like, though, they're a lot of fun.

Last night I was standing at the bar where I usually help out, minding my own business, when I was given the grand tour of one of our customer's tattoos. They started with the four leaf clover on her back, went to the design around her belly button, down to the other design on her hip, and was finished off by her foot being (impressively) placed on the bar so I could see the one on her ankle. She then informed me that the belly button is the best place for a $7,000 diamond when you get divorced. Evidently selling it is a bad idea because you'll never get what it's worth. Plus, if you remarry and he's a poor man, you can still have a nice ring.

Somehow this conversation led to a discussion about third nipples. I honestly can't remember the connection. One of the ladies claimed she had one. After being examined by all we decided it was only a mole on her side. (For those of you who watch Friends, the mole ruling was too late to prevent her from being called Chandler the rest of the time.) The conversation then segued into one between her and her two companions as to whether her breasts were real (they were). The equally endowed friend didn't understand why hers looked so much bigger. Out came the bras and the explanation that a full support, minimizing bra might be the problem. We all recommended Vic's Secret for all her uplifting needs.

This entire time, friend number 3 is denying being friend number 3 and claiming to be innocent bystander number 1. They evidently went to third grade together. Not sure how long ago it was, but Ms. $7k Diamond has grandbabies on the way. There was so much more to the conversation but these were some of the highlights.

The moral of this story for me was that no matter what my age, or where I may be in life, if I surround myself with fun people things always have a chance of being ridiculous and entertaining. I have to get old, but things don't have to get boring.

On that note, I'm being old and boring tonight and going to sleep. It's been a long week and I'm looking forward to a more relaxing coming week.

Sleep calls, and I must answer

Today I was one of "those" flight attendants. The ones who seem miserable and never smile and look like they hate you. It's probably because they do hate you. I don't hate anyone, but I'm worn out and frustrated. I didn't even have it in me to smile. It bothered me because I wanted everyone to know that I really am a nice person. But I couldn't do it. Yesterday was a hellacious day between maintenance issues and weather. We only did 4 of 5 flights but were on duty for 14.5 hours. We got sent home and had to come back at 9am and once again had maintanance. This puts people in a terrible mood obviously. I just wanted to tell them hey, I've been dealing with this for the last 36 hours and I'm more sick of it than you are. Plus there was a lot of turbulence which wears me down after a while. Yesterday I had some nice passengers that really helped me survive the day, but today everyone was mean and rude. I need a massage. I need a few days off. I need sleep.

I'm in Burlington, one of my favorite cities, and I'm in bed at 6pm. I went for a run earlier, but that's about all I can handle. I think I'm going to be happy and feel good when I wake up in the morning.

Oh no he didn’t!

I'm going to take this opportunity to share some of the things that have been said to me in the last few days.

I had a passenger on the way to Gulfport Thursday morning. He was sitting in 3C (left aisle seat). He looked to be in his late 40s. He had a beard that was almost completely gray. He looked European and had a man bag. He didn't want anything to drink or eat. He never spoke to me. He never smiled at me. He looked at me a lot, but I'm sitting in the front of the plane which is directly in most people's line of sight. When he got off the plane he handed me the stub of his boarding pass. There was a note on the back that said "If you could be different and original and call me anytime." Followed by a home and a cell number, and then "I have so much to tell you. Good luck." I'm still confused. That sentence doesn't make sense. An inserted comma might help, but it's still a stretch. And I feel a little offended that he's telling me I should be different and original. I did not call him to find out what he had to tell me.

Later that day I was flying back from Syracuse. I was going through the cabin with a basket of snacks. I got to an old man (white hair) and asked him what he wanted. He asked what the choices were. I told him peanuts, crackers, or cookies. He said he liked the other choices better. Not understanding what he meant, I asked what other choices. His response was "Coffee, tea, or me." He really caught me off guard. I told him that those were not the choices on that plane.

While this is going on in the back, I have a man sitting in 1C right in front of me who seems to be going through a midlife crisis. He is recently divorced. He is non-revving and decided to spend the night in Atlanta instead of continuing on to his destination. He kept asking me what I was doing after work and if I went out anywhere could he meet up with me. I know I'm practically an old maid, but do these men really think that I'm so desperate I'd fall for a man twice my age? And especially one with terrible pick up lines.

Later that night I met up with some of the girls and we went to Twisted Taco. Some guy started talking to me and in the course of conversation he told me he was a Delta pilot. He's in his first year and is flying the 767 doing international stuff. He said it had been a few weeks since they called him for a trip, but he didn't care cause he was getting paid $10k a month to sit around! I was just thinking, honey, that lie might work on someone who isn't in your industry and doesn't know what you get paid, but not me. He would also look me in the eyes every once in a while and say something like "wow". I know I'm not the ugliest thing around, but I also know I'm not going to make people speechless with my beauty. It was all I could do not to laugh in his face and then throw up in my mouth. I told him he was living up to the stereotype of a pilot and he was quick to assure me that he's only a part time pilot. The rest of the time he's in the Air Force. Once again, if you're in the airline industry, you know that the cockiest pilots are the ex-military ones. Double whammy.

I don't understand how these men come up with this stuff. I also don't understand who it would actually work on. I need to meet someone who isn't old enough to be my father, and doesn't use terrible lines and ridiculous flattery on me. If these are my options then I guess it's going to be a long life of single-ness ahead of me.

San Francisco days, San Francisco nights

I saw Chris Isaak in concert last night. It was all that I'd hoped and dreamed it would be - and then some.

To start things off, the tickets were free (instead of $57 each). Tanya, Jonathan, and I got there first (Charity was still on her way and we were hoping Joe would get released from the airport in time to get there) and were waiting for the opener to come on. The lady who runs the show found me, gave two VIP passes to Tanya and me, and told us to hurry and go backstage. I was all flustered and didn't even grab my phone to take a picture. We had to wait in line and as I waited I got really nervous. I wasn't prepared to meet him and didn't know what I was supposed to do or say. Tanya was asking me for names of songs in case she got put on the spot. It ended up not being awkward at all. We walked in, shook hands and introduced ourselves. He was standing there with his drummer and thankfully the lady I know who works there had her camera and took a picture for us. He was wearing a red suit with gold sequins in kind of a flame design on it. Not flashy at all. :-P He's still a good looking man, though I was kind of thrown off by the stage makeup.

From the time the concert started I could see the band was a bunch of guys who like to have a good time playing. Chris (or should I call him Mr. Isaak) has a great sense of humor. He told the lead guitar to play something pretty, and once he started playing he was like I mean something pretty that I know. His nephew was there and he walked up the amphitheater (right past us) to where he was and sat and talked to him. He told him that since he has no kids the nephew will get everything when he dies. He also joked about when the band started playing together 20 years ago and he only had one sequin on his suit. But he said he learned to stand in a way that made is shine the most. The music was great and thrilled my heart. I couldn't believe how excited I got hearing Wicked Games, Forever Blue, and Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing. For the encore his outfit got even better. It was a suit made entirely of little square mirrors. I tried to take a picture but it was just a huge glare.

I have to work the concert tonight and I'm really interested to see if all his funniness is the same every night. I've seen a lot of performers who do things that seem impromptu, but then they do it again exactly the same way the next time. I'll let you know if he's really that funny or if he has a script for it all.

I'm still a little bit giddy about last night. I heart Chris Isaak :-D.

hot pink blog typers

Sometimes I log in to my bank account and check it with the hope that by some miracle there will be a lot more money in there than last time I checked. Silly, I know.

There have been a lot of days since I blogged last. I've been very uninspired. Yesterday I was too busy painting my fingernails hot pink to write anything.

The most amusing thing that happened lately was going up to the Marriot Marquis Friday night and watching all the people there for Dragon Con. Our original plan was to just meet there, hang out for a little while, and then go to dinner. We quickly decided that leaving was a bad idea, and ended up staying there most of the evening. We saw everyone from the gingerbread man to GI Joe. There were characters from every major sci fi movie. Obi Wan taught me how to twirl a light saber. We stood out just by being normal. It was awesome. I would recommend a visit to the Dragon Con area next year.

This week I've had training for a new bidding system we're going to be using. It's awesome because they dropped almost my whole trip, and all I have to do is go to a class two days. Yesterday's class lasted about an hour and a half. I kept thinking the whole time how much better it was than being stuck on a plane all day.

Jamie came in town yesterday so we made a journey out to the TanJoe residence for dinner and hanging out. I cooked dinner for the third time in four days. I really enjoy it. I made Molly's black bean and corn salad. It doesn't sound spectacular, but it is addictive. I could eat it every day. In fact, I think I'll make some more today. It's amazing.

I'm making myself hungry. I'm going to wake Jamie up and find something to eat.

Smelly McEarwaxson

Today is my off day. It feels great. It's Friday, I'm in love. Well I'm not in love, but that's what The Cure seems to think. I'm sitting at my desk that is a plastic file box, in my desk that chair that is the floor, thinking what I shall do today. Mara is keeping me company on davefm, and the sun is shining in the window. I can't believe it finally stopped raining. It was kind of nice, since we need the rain, but I was having to work in most of it which sucks.

Yesterday was the only day this week where work was normal. I was supposed to do three daylines this week - each dayline consisting of two round trips. On Tuesday the FAA's computers decided to go haywire and we ended up just going to Gulfport and back and then sitting at the airport for 6 hous before going home. Wednesday we did a Manchester, NH turn and when we got back they told us a different crew was doing our next round trip. Still not sure why, but we don't ask questions when they're telling us to go home. Yesterday we did a Pensacola round trip, then sat for 3 hours and flew to Portland, ME and back.

I flew with a flight attendant who has been here 3 months, but somehow seems to have infinite wisdom when it comes to being a flight attendant. She didn't understand why I would make a whole pot of coffee for one person. She didn't want to serve until we'd been in the air for an hour because then people would ask for more. I'm not sure if she understands that is her job. Except for emergency situations, that is ALL we are being paid to do. It was mildly, I mean wildly annoying.

I had a man sitting within inches of me who had so much hair and earwax in his ear I thought I was going to be physically sick. I thought I should mention it to him so he could clean it out, you know as a woman and not a flight attendant, but never did. Another one of our flights we played spot the smelly person. It becomes almost a game when you walk through the cabin and get a strong wiff of stinkage and then you try to figure out who it is. I thought I knew who it was and when we were deplaning it was confirmed. The seat he was sitting in still smelled when we went back through. How can people like that not smell themselves??

I slept until 11:30 today cause evidently I was le tired. Now I have stuff to do. At least my room is still nice and tidy. I could still improve it, but it'll do for now. I'm off to enjoy my one day off

a "what I had for lunch" blog plus some incomplete thoughts

I've only flown one leg since last Monday and I'm spoiled. I go back to work tomorrow and am making an effort to remember how I really like my job sometimes. I'll probably be glad once I get there. I should like it simply for the fact that I only have to work three days this week.

Today was a really productive day. I made significant improvements in my room. I can see all of the carpet and my clothes are in order. I think I'll put some art work on the wall so when I sit here in bed I'll have something to look at other than a blank wall. I slept a little late so I didn't do everything I wanted today, but I got enough done so I can feel good about coming back home tomorrow. I didn't run, but it was raining almost the whole day.

I had an impromptu lunch with J and Joe this afternoon which was a nice break from my room. We were reminiscing about the olden days of Peachtree Landing. We had some good times there with our apartment family. Now we're all scattered and married and promoted. We still have fun. It just takes more planning.

After lunch I went to Target and bought super glue so my watch would stop falling off my wrist. Contrary to what that sounds like, I did not glue it to my skin or glue it closed. It has two clasps and the one I've been using for three years is loose. The other is fine. I glued the loose one closed and will use the good one. It's basically too much trouble to return it. I also bought a pegrack to hang by my door so I'm not always losing my purse and keys. We'll see if it helps.

Tonight was small group. We talked about the first two chapters in Judges. It's pretty interesting, though I feel like I need to do a little more homework about the customs and culture of that time period. Some of the stuff might make a little more sense then. I'm beginning to believe that one of the basic qualities of being human is going through cycles. The book of Judges is all about cycles. The Israelites would fall away from God. Bad things would happen to them. They would cry out to God. He would save them. They would get comfortable. Then they would fall away from God again. I feel like my life is a lot like this. Not just with my relationship with God, but with everything. Something becomes uncomfortable. It might be my waistline, my finances, or my relationships. I make an effort, work really hard to improve things, and they improve. Then I get comfortable again and before I know it things slide back to the way they were. This isn't always the case. Some things do change permanantly, or at least improve over time, but I feel like this is so basic to human nature. I have a lot more thoughts about this but I'm still working on them.

I have to leave for work in 8 hours so I'm going to sleep now.

Sunday evening blog addendum

After Peter commented on the fact that he is now the age that I was when Kat and Carson met it made me start remembering. They met back when I had hair almost to my waist. I still weighed 107 on a fat day. I'd never had a boyfriend. I hadn't met W. I didn't wear pants. I'd never been kissed (I'm still waiting til the alter). I'd never owned a car. I still had all my wisdom teeth. I'd never had a crazy roommate - or 15. I don't think I even had a cell phone. My, my, my.... Times have changed.

Another thing I've been thinking about lately is how we spend so much energy worrying about when we want things to happen. I used to debate whether it was better to have children earlier in life or later. Whether it was better to marry early or late. We agonize over potential decisions we'll make, scenarios we imagine we'll come across, all the time forgetting how few things we really have control over in our lives. The other day Kathryn and I were talking about how she was so ready to give birth.. but then she realized how much more hectic things would be once she gave birth. Like we actually have any say in the matter. (I'm not picking on her. Just the example the re-triggered this line of thought.) But I guess we like to pretend we do. Maybe it makes us feel important?

Tonight I ended up hanging out with Matt and Molly, eating ice cream, watching tv, and discussing the statistics in this book about people's marital happiness versus their childrens' ages. It was interesting. I have to go running tomorrow. Oh, and finish cleaning my room.

I'd never been outside of the US either.

hangin round, downstairs by myself

It's Sunday again. After teasing us all weekend, the rain is finally here. It's lovely. There is a small lake in our back yard. I'm trying to figure out what it is about my room that is so depressing. I think it's cause it's kind of dark. It's amazing what a difference picking the clothes up off the floor makes. I should probably do something besides just put them on the bed, but one step at a time.

I made a lot of money at job part 2 this weekend. It was a nice reward for working when I didn't want to. I thought the rain would dampen people's enthusiasm for 38 Special, but I think braving the drizzle made them feel like they were survivors. My legs and butt are sore from walking up and down the amphitheater, but again, that's where the tips make it all worth it.

Yesterday morning I got my hair cut. Then I went to the parents' house. Joy is home for a few days before she goes back to school. She made omlets for us (including an ugly one for the father.) I decided that it was time to have a serious discussion with him about his health. I told him if he acts like he isn't going to live another 30 years then I have no choice but to get pregnant posthaste to ensure that my children know him. It seems perfectly fair - take care of his health or I get pregnant. Nothing unreasonable about that. We saw four deer run through their yard, including two really cute fawns. We also boiled a conch shell Joy brought back from the Vineyard. It was the nastiest smelling thing I've ever smelled. All in all a pretty normal afternoon at the homestead.

Friday morning I did something I've never done before. I went to a dog show. For anyone who knows me they're like you did what? I am, admittedly not the biggest dog fan. But Isabella's mom was showing two of her dogs and Isabella wanted to see her. We had lunch plans already so I just rode along to the show. It was actually pretty interesting. There were so many different kinds of dogs, and most of them were pretty well behaved. I don't think I could've survived more than an hour without benadryl or something, but it was a good time. Something I can check off my life's to do list.

My feet still hurt from work last night. It was crazy. I don't know if I already mentioned this, but one of the ladies that runs the amphitheater gave me tickets to see Chris Isaak the week after next. I'm more excited than is probably reasonable. I don't care. I can't wait to see that show.

Kathryn delivered their second daughter, Charlotte Joy, late this morning. Very happy for them. Crazy that those kids met at my 19th birthday party and are on their second child now... How time does fly.

If I fall along the way, pick me up and dust me off

I'm letting my cereal digest so I don't get a stitch when I run. Running is hard enough without adding stupid little things like stitches.

I'm not supposed to be home right now, but I am. Yesterday morning I left Ft. Walton Beach feeling quite pukey, and the pukiness actually turned into puking, which led to me going home instead of flying all over the place. It's frustrating, but it is what it is. I'm tired of the stress this surgery is putting on me to earn as much and work as much so I can save tons of money. I think I need to give myself a break. I'm doing pretty good.

Ft. Walton was surprisingly nice on Tuesday. We had the entire day down there and spent part of it on the beach. The weather was beautiful with no signs of the hurricane/tropical storm that's hovering around Florida.

The past week has overwhelmed me with sad things happening. It's hard to understand all the terrible things that happen, and it's even harder to know how to be of help to those who are suffering. On Saturday our friend Isabella delivered her son, Ryken, at 22 weeks. He lived for a few minutes. It is heartbreaking and frustrating to not be able to do anything to ease the pain. Thankfully our heavenly Father can comfort in ways we'll never know and it's a reminder to lean more heavily on Him. There have been several other deaths lately and as Jamie reminded me yesterday we need to realize how fragile our lives our and live them to the fullest.

Needless to say, this week has felt sub-par. It's been one of those weeks when I hate my job, though it may just be because it's keeping me away from those I love. Now that I'm home, I'm going to enjoy it here, and let the chips fall where they may.

Saturday morning lounging

It feels good to wake up in my own bed. It also feels good to still be in it at 11:30am. I'm ignoring the voices that tell me to get up and do something. I think I deserve to have one day this week where I lounge.

We left Syracuse yesterday morning around 6:30am and made the long journey back to Atlanta. Except for our trip to Macon it was our 8th completely full flight this week. (When I got a little sass from some guy on my 4th flight Monday, I had to remind him that he was about the 300th person I'd served since 7:30 that this morning so my sense of humor and my tolerance might not been as keen as usual.) It was fairly unremarkable. As with many other flights, I sat within licking distance of 2 people who never once looked at me or acknowledged my presence.

We got back to Atlanta and had to wait about 2.5 hours until our last round trip. I spent half of this time booting up my computer. I think it got a virus. I spent the other half downloading a free virus protector that Adri told me about, and it's doing much better now. We finally made it out to the plane to start boarding for Pittsburgh. The passengers were already starting to come on board when they told us the flight was canceled. I don't know why. The other flight attendant started to get very excited, but I'm a little jaded. I remember what happened the last time they canceled my flight - they sent me somewhere else instead. And after waiting an hour more, that's exactly what happened. It was only Greensboro though, so we still got back on time and it wasn't too painful. Our flights weren't full either which was a nice break from the rest of the week.

There was an older man sitting in the back next to me who had really odd indentions in his skull (he was bald on top). I was dying to know what had happened, but wasn't sure how to ask him if his head was just naturally denty or did something happen. So I asked him about what looked like a scar near one of the dents. Thankfully he was friendly and wasn't offended by my bluntness. He had had a bleeding hematoma between his brain and his skull, so they drilled two holes in his skull to drain it. As I was looking at him and listening to his story I noticed that his eyes were exactly the same shades of brown as mine! They were the opposite of mine, but it was still really neat to see someone else with the same weird eyes. It made me happy :-).

Last night I drove down to Newnan and met with some of my small groupers. We called it craft night, but it was more along the lines of knitting, crocheting, and poster making. Nicole was crocheting a blanket Monday night at small group, which kind of inspired this. I started working on a scarf but ended up helping Kara with a poster she was making for her niece to encourage her to use the potty :-P. We watched the Olympics, ate pizza, and heard about each other's weeks. Two of the girls are school teachers, which I think would feel like doing a flight that was full of children for 7 hours a day. Basically that would be a nightmare.

After that I met Tanya, Joe, and (separately) Jersey at the Mac in Newnan where we also watched the Olympics. It was good to see them since it seems to take a royal effort to get friends together these days.

I think I've lounged enough. I'm going to take on the day.

I’m wasting sleep time trying to think of a title

If I type fast I'll still be able to make my goal of being in bed by 8. What has my life come to... I've had to get up around 4 the last 3 mornings and I'm tired of it. It's sad when you think - if only I could sleep til 5:30.

I'm in Syracuse. I was in Portland this morning. It's nice because it is not hot as Hades here. I went running yesterday and ended up walking most of the way. I don't know what the problem was. Today I managed to run the whole thirty minutes, but had to keep concentrating on how much I liked having muscles in my thighs to counteract the "I hate running" thoughts. I had two cups of instant mashed potatoes for supper tonight. They were good, but I would've rather had a steak, asparagus, brocoli, squash... Real food basically.

The other day a man got on one of my flights. I recognized him and assuming he was one of our pilots I made some comment to him along the lines of what are you up to? Then the more I looked at him, the more I figured he wasn't a pilot (I think he was too old). I had to figure out how I knew him so I asked his name and it turns out he was my boss's boss when I worked for the contractor. I then remembered that I hadn't really liked him when I worked for him so I slapped him... Not really. When I was in Europe I accidently sent an email to him that was meant for a friend of mine. I hope he didn't remember that. He's kind of old so I'm sure he forgot :-P. Small world isn't it?

Today I had a little girl on the flight back from Portland. She was asleep with the top of her head against the back of the seat so her neck was sticking out at an odd angle. Her eyelids were about half open and her eyes were darting back and forth. I couldn't stop laughing - partially cause she looked funny and partially cause it made me remember when Joy was little and used to sleep with her eyes open.

I have more to write but I have too much to do before bed. I'll be home in about 19 hours. Yay.

Keep on rockin' in the free world

Thanks to a crazy idea Angela put in my head last night I signed up for a 10k in November. Now the pressure is on. It's kind of exciting as well. There's no turning back or chickening out now.

I met with the girls in my small group from church tonight for the first time since the summer pretty much. We discussed what we want to study in the fall. We're looking at a book in the Old Testament since those seem to be the more forgotten, less studied ones. They also seem to have the coolest stories in them. Those OT people were crazy :-P. I had a good time talking to them and have realized that if I'm going to know and be known by these people, it's going to take a more direct effort. In a group situation I typically don't try to have my story heard (usually cause I can't make myself be heard) but if the small group is going to serve its purpose I need to be willing to be transparent and intentionally put myself out there.

Today I went up to Atlanta to look at a house some friends proposed I live in. I really want to move into the city and keep telling myself I'll do it when I get my debt paid off, but I think there's a fine line behind being wise about paying things off and letting it control my life. It turned out that this wasn't going to be the best situation for me, but it was good for me to start thinking about the next step.

Otherwise I did a lot of chores today. Laundry, bank, groceries, cleaning. I have to leave for work in 6.5 hours so I should probably get some sleep.

lazy, lovely Sunday

I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that it's Sunday already. This means my weekend is almost over and I'm still exhausted. I've had a relaxing day off so far, but I seem to have a lot weighing on my mind. There are so many decisions to be made and problems to be solved, and none are the easy kind.

Friday night when I finally got off work I had the pleasure of attending a mac'n'cheese bakeoff at my friend McCaine's. One of the things I enjoy about her is her inventive ways of socializing. Sometimes I feel like my life is incredibly dull and predictable. We also watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics which were a sight to behold. Another thing I like about McCaine is the extreme volume of her voice, and her wild enthusiasm for things (including Michael Phelps). It's nice to be around people who get such pleasure out of life.

Saturday, after sleeping as long as I felt like, I made my way to the pool de J where I was working on my tan. Then I went to the gym de J and was working on my fitness. I haven't run in a long time (this heat is infernal), but still managed to start the week 9 running program (5 min walking, 30 min running, 5 min walking). It wasn't even that painful at all. I think the only way I'm going to be such a slacker about running is to sign up for a 5k or something. I've lost enough weight where my clothes are comfortable again so that pressure to run is off, but I know if I don't keep running the weight will be right back. Plus I feel so much better when I'm active.

After the sun and run, we picked up sushi and sat on the floor of his balcony and ate. The sushi was really good. I think the portions should've been bigger. I love the rolls with the mayo sauce on them. We had another roll with unagi and avocado that had some kind of tempura inside. The combination of flavors and textures was delightful. Then it was ice cream with blueberries and raspberries for dessert.

Some of the books I've been reading lately, combined with what's going on (or not going on) in my life, and conversations I've had have led me to the conclusion that I need to be more purposeful in my living. I need to read books that I will learn from. I need to write with the purpose of becoming a better writer. I need to fill my time with things that will make my life better and more meaningful. It's funny how a book on writing can provoke so much thought. There is so much clutter and wasted words and time in my life. I don't know if I'll ever become a real writer, but I do know that I definitely never will if I'm not writing purposefully.

These are some of the things that have been occupying my mind lately and making me tired. The wonderful lunch my mama made is also making me sleepy. I should follow my daddy's lead and take a nap.

Currently reading : On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction By William K. Zinsser