killing time.

I'm currently squatting in the jetway at the Manchester airport. It's the only place I can get consistent internet without going up into the terminal. We just had to deplane because of a minor maintenance issue. The people are thrilled. They were thrilled when they got on the plane in the first place. I love my job :-D.

It's a beautiful day to be flying... Or sitting in a jetway :). I had the weirdest dreams last night. I've noticed that I seem to have a lot of dreams about houses or homes. Last night I dreamed I was staying in this apartment with a few friends. We were all crashing on the couches and floors. One day I went upstairs and discovered this really fancy bathroom and bedroom area. Couldn't figure out why we weren't using it. It had basically a shower room so I decided to use it. I noticed lots of bugs on the walls. I figured it was because the bathroom hadn't been used much. I figured the best way to get rid of them was to spray them with shower cleaner and kill them. (It's hard to kill bugs when you're naked.) I also noticed that I had a tattoo basically all over the back of my body. The top of it was red and black. I think part of a woman or something and then the whole rest of the back of me, legs and all, was tattood black. Then I realized it was time for breakfast. I had wanted to get breakfast in the hotel since it was free and in my dream my friends had already gone somewhere else to eat. Breakfast ended at 10am and in my dream it was 9:59. Needless to say, I have weird dreams. I don't think they really mean anything. I had been thinking about Amy's new tattoo last night so maybe that's where that came from... Who knows.

I'm getting used to my new hair. I got a lot of compliments yesterday and got hit on so it must not be ugly.

The plane is fixed.

monday, monday...

Peter and I drove at least 3000 miles today. At least. And now I have dark brown/red hair. It was fun. We listened to lots of music. Peter put Beyonce to shame with his singing. We drove to Chattanooga today to get my hair done. It was fun. It's kind of a long story that starts with a passenger I met on my second trip ever two years ago. He's a stylist in CHA and does hair classes. Today's was called ForeverRed, hence the red hair. It took two times to get it right. The first time I ended up looking like a calico cat. We decided it wasn't really my style and tried again. Then we took a jaunt further north and said howdy to Joy. It's kind of funny to just drive to Tennessee for the day. Maybe not so much funny as odd. But we had a good time so it was well worth it.

The phone is ringing and I'm sleepy so I'm off.

At least it was before I had coffee

It's 4:50am on Saturday and I was doing what everyone dreams of doing at this time of day and week - getting ready for work. Doing a pretty good job as well. Showered, making coffee, putting my contacts in, packing my stuff as I go. It's a pain, but I can deal with it because I'll be home by 1pm. Then the phone rings and we've been canceled. We leave here at 3pm. Blah... Now I'm going to have to try to go back to sleep. On the up side, I'm glad they didn't wait til we got to the airport, but on the downside, it would've been nice 30 minutes ago.

This trip has been one of those trips. We're having some crew compatibility issues that I am not free to discuss on here. But we figured everything should go well today since people have to get home and have flights to make. I knew that would be too good to be true. I guess I'm going to try to sleep again.

dilemma

I'm standing in my room surveying the result of moving somewhere, leaving immediately for work, coming back, unpacking, leaving for another trip, going on vacation... I'm feeling motivated. It needs to get cleaned up and organized (I'd like to find my camera cord so I can download my vacation pictures) but I can't even figure out how to get to my closet where most of the stuff needs to end up... The obstacles that lie between it and me seem a bit insurmountable. I could take the Kathryn approach and divide the room in pieces, gradually working my way toward the closet.

It's strange that I live with six other people and last night Molly was the only other one here and today I am alone. Pretty nice. That's one of the perks of living with airline folk. If any of you ever need roommates but want to live alone I highly recommend this method. Juat ask Jamie and Jonathan's roommate.

Just wanted to say sorry to Peter for spilling the beans on his breast reduction. I'm just so excited for him :-P. I dreamed people were getting hired at the Big D. I need to be one of them. We're starting to have to serve their signature drinks on our flights and I'm not a fan. I don't want to be serving them unless I can be wearing the red dress while I do it.

Off to divide and conquer.

PS. I lost my drivers license and debit card between leaving Roya's Sunday and getting to Atlanta. The bad thing is, I'm kind of happy I have to replace my drivers license cause my picture looked so bad. Oh vanity!! Another thrilling thing I get to do today.

all things bright and beautiful

I like when good things happen to the people I love. There seems to be a dearth of goodness lately so it makes me happy to hear about job interviews, possible romances, possible breast reductions... All sorts of good fun things.

I'm home from California. It was a really good trip. I feel like I haven't been at work in ages, which I think is the point of vacation. I'm supposed to go back Wednesday but there's the possibility I'll go back Tuesday instead.

I don't really have anything to say. I'm watching Friends with Molly and that makes me happy as well.

CA wanderings

In the past 36 hours I have experienced a greater variety of temperature and terrain than I have in quite a while. I left hot, humid Atlanta yesterday am and arrived in cool, foggy San Francisco several hours later. Then within another hour I was out of the city where it was warm and dry. Today Christine and I drove from Concord to Yosemite. The variety of landscape and vegetation our here is astounding. We saw El Capitan and Half Dome. This makes me feel like I've seen a little piece of my family history as I've grown up hearing stories about these places from my father and about my grandfather. The scenery was breathtaking. I'll put pictures up because I feel that it's ridiculous to even try to explain how amazing it is.

I got out here yesterday and we spent a little while in the afternoon checking out the consignment stores around here. We went in one where you can buy Manolos for $150. USED. And they look used. It's ridiculous. We had a good time and I was once again reminded that just because it has a famous label on it or was once purchased by a rich lady DOES NOT by any means mean that it will be attractive. Very amusing.

Later we went home and made a scrumptious dinner of steak (Christine knows my heart), mushrooms, arugula salad with goat cheese, purple onions, and corn, and fried, breaded abalone that one of their friends dove for on Sunday. It was amazing, as are all Christine's meals. Even the sandwiches she packed today were interesting (in a good way). Leftover steak with onions, cheese, peppers (and I don't really even like peppers), fresh basil and arugula on some kind of cheesy bread. The moral of the story is, I hope one day I learn how to use flavors and ingredients as well as she does. Nothing is plain and everything is so good.

Now I'm le tired because it's 2am according to el body del Grace. I think it's pretty amazing that I flew across the country yesterday for nothing. It makes me happy and like my job a little more (being on vacation also helps :-D.)

...everyone should hear: you were meant for amazing things

It's funny how God has such amazing things for us, yet we choose to live our lives our own way thinking we can come up with more amazing things... We are silly, silly people. I'm glad that God is aware of our silliness and still loves us.

This is a line from one of the songs I'm playing this weekend and I really like it. It's "Umbrellas" by Sleeping at Last. It's a very beautiful, loving song.

I'm trying to think what I can do with my morning and early afternoon here in Knoxville where I won't have to look back and think that I wasted my day. I think reading falls into the not wasting time category. I'm really irritated with myself because last night, in my haste to get off the plane, I left a big bag of food I had bought for the trip. I usually don't bring stuff that has to stay cool for this exact reason. I had lunch meat, cheese, a whole bag of cherries, celery, and hummus. If there was anything else I'd rather not remember it. I hate wasting. Oh well.

I had the weirdest dreams this morning. I dreamed I paid a $600 bill for dinner. I was really worried that I didn't have enough money to cover it. That might have come from the conversations I had last night with these guys who were telling us how much they made and flashing around lots of hundreds in their wallets. I also dreamed I was visiting my grandparents and my grandpa would sneak up on the roof of their house to smoke... Which is ridiculous because as long as I can remember he's never smoked and he's very health conscious. There were more but I've forgotten them.

Yesterday was a nightmare passenger-wise. The trip didn't get off to a good start because the plane we were supposed to take to Chicago for our first round trip was very late. This in turn made us very late and made our passengers very grumpy. We had stupid non-revvers who seemed to think it was open seating and just sat in the first available seats and then got all huffy when they had to move. They were like oh, we didn't even look at our boarding passes... I'm like well, those numbers are there just for kicks... Arg. It still annoys me. This is all while we're trying to hurry back to Atlanta because we're late and people have connections. One old guy got on the plane and was like now I see why the ticket prices are so high - they're hiring fashion models for flight attendants. We all laughed - arent' you just the funniest, thankyou. Then during the beverage service he goes off on me cause we don't have any beer. Writes all this stuff down. Complains cause he's a stockholder and there should be beer on the flight. Who is responsible for there not being any beer. I try to appease him by offering him wine or a mixed drink. He informs me (because I'm a stupid idiot) that wine is not beer. There are beer drinkers and wine drinkers. All this time I'm thinking, that's funny cause the 3 other people that wanted beer were content with a mixed drink... So let's hope I don't get fired for not having beer on here. I also thought it was odd that he claimed to be a stockholder but was complaining about the price of tickets... That is just a sample of what we dealt with yesterday. Sometimes I love people so much I want to squeeze them... to death :-P.

I'm going to go enjoy my music, my tortillas and tuna, and a book. Hopefully today's passengers will be friendlier and I don't leave anything else important on the plane.

Don't ever forget that you were meant for amazing things.

too lazy for subjects

I am currently listening to two songs on repeat. I hope no one else in the house can hear me cause I think they would be really annoyed, but this is what I have to do when I'm trying to learn a song that I don't have music to. I can make up something but only once the song is in my head. I'm playing two songs in Amie's little sister's wedding on Saturday. As of this morning I'm actually going to be off for it, which is pretty cool. I have to work at 4:30 tomorrow afternoon and get home around 10pm on Friday night. Then my vacation starts :). Woo hoo!!

I feel like I need two consecutive days at home. One to do nothing like I'm doing right now, and one to get all the things done that I need to get done. This room that I now live in is a mess. I haven't found places for everything yet. I still have stuff piled in the garage to sort and put away. And I'm doing nothing. Oh well. It's also incredibly hot everywhere, including my room, which doesn't really motivate me to do anything. I might take a nap. I got dropped off here at about 2:30 this morning after visiting Joy, but because I had a lot of caffiene to stay awake driving back I couldn't go to sleep til almost 4. Then I got up around 10:30. I've discovered another annoyance about my room. People seem to like to tap dance on the floor above me while I'm sleeping. Not very nice in my book. Oh yeah, I think I'm going to have to give up shaving because this shower is about 2 feet square. I tried to shave in there the other day and I think it's humanly impossible.

Nap time.

live from Chicago

I'm not sure how this is working but I managed to get online even though it said it was going to charge me $9.99... So far so good.

I finally have a trip where I don't have to duty in at 515 every morning. It's been nice. The part that hasn't been nice is that I've been feeling like my job has become my life. More than once lately I've found myself wishing I had a job where I was at home every night so when my friends and family want to spend time with me I can do it. I feel like I'm missing out on so many important things. I've already been feeling detached and now I'm wondering if it's my fault. Maybe I've become a bad/unavailable friend and not realized it. I've been upset at times because people that I thought I was close to don't seem to act like I am, but maybe I'm never around when they need me... I have no intentions of quitting my job. I'm just looking forward to when I have a more regular schedule. The last few weeks have been crazy. I've only had two out of the last fifteen days off, which is never good for my sanity. Also, the whole moving thing has taken up a lot of physical and emotional energy.

Then on the other hand, because of my job I get to see other friends of mine more than I would without. I got to see Amy and Shane Thursday night and Friday morning, which was really fun. I don't know... I think I just need a break. I've had to turn down a lot of invitations to get together lately and it's really bothering me. I'm afraid that if I say no too many times people will stop asking. If I'm not around enough people will adjust and no longer notice I'm not around. It's not like I haven't been doing this for the past 2 years, but still...

I'm sitting here in my hotel in Chicago. Problem is, we're actually pretty far out in the suburbs so there isn't anything to do around here. Last night when we flew in it was really pretty though. I could see the skyline along the lake and golden grid of streets. It's a huge city. The passengers we've had these past 2 days have been unbelievably high maintenance. Some have been fun. Some have been really annoying.. It's all good.

And I'm going to see Joy tonight, which always makes me happy.

new empty spaces

I just spent my first night in my new room. My family and J helped me move all my stuff yesterday and last night and M&M's garage is now half full of my junk. I can't believe how much stuff I have. A lot of it is to be gotten rid of, but I still have a lot. The room has a huge double window which makes me happy. The closet is about 1/3 the size of my last one though, which doesn't make me happy. The girl that lived in here before me just came and got the last of her stuff so I'm going to see if I can make it look like a room in here. Should be jolly good times. I know you're all jealous.

ATRs and the Pacific

Oh yeah...

I'm not sure if anyone else will think this is funny, but it made me laugh so hard I want to write it down so when I need something to laugh about I can remember it.

Yesterday, probably on the fourth leg of our five leg day I was sitting in the galley trying to stay awake. We had been hoping all day that we'd get canceled or switched to something more fun than a short overnight in Baton Rouge. Ryan (the other flight attendant) comes up to me and says that they've switched us (Woo hoo!!) We're going to Tokyo Narita.... on the ATR. I'm a little slow at this point so it takes a minute for it to register and I realize he's lying. He says, yes, it will take us nine stops (It'd actually take a lot more than that). We have to re-fuel going across the ocean. We'd land on an aircraft carrier, fuel up, take off, then fly til we caught up with the aircraft carrier again, then re-fuel again. The mental picture, and the sheer stupidity that would be involved in a mission like that made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my seat. It still makes me laugh when I think about it.

This is why work this month has been so fun. Plus the whole Key West thing...

After filling out one of these bulletin questionaires I was curious enough to find out the farthest place I've been. It seems that Budapest, Hungary is a mere 5500 miles away, Fenghua, China is 7509 miles away and Jeffrey's Bay, South Africa takes the cake at 8977 miles away. I have to say that with all that it took for us to get there (did I mention driving 500 miles across South Africa's Transkei with my ex future mother-in-law?), that place does seem the farthest.


Currently reading: Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons: A Novel By Lorna Landvik

a sunny Manchester day

I have nothing fantastic to blog about. I'm bored, tired, and grouchy. My reasons for being so aren't really that good either. I just am. I'm lonely but too grouchy to really be around or talk to anyone either, yet being by myself makes me grouchier.. It's a vicious cycle :-P.

It was nice to have a break from watching Flica all the time and hoping for trades and swaps... This was the first month in a year that I haven't swapped everything around. It's been a nice month of work. I'm going to miss my crew. They've been great. Next month I don't like my schedule as much, plus I have vacation so I'm trying to swap everything around. I wish I didn't have any bills. Otherwise, I'd take my potentially 14 days off and go somewhere exotic. I might still do it anyway. It's been way too long since I went far far away. I've gotten so comfortable in where I am that I can hardly remember the person who got dropped off on the side of the highway in Hungary. I think one reason I'm remembering that person again is because it seems that so many of the things I've been comfortable with have changed.

I spent my last night in our apartment on Friday night. It was uneventful. I made about 15 trips up and down 3 floors of stairs with half my stuff. If you thought moving was awful, try moving by yourself. It rocks my face off. I still have to move some stuff when I get home on Tuesday but hopefully it won't take long. I was looking at the pile that I'm making in Matt and Molly's garage and wondering what the heck all that stuff is. I'm pretty sure all I moved was my bathroom stuff, clothes, and bedding and it seems like so much. I'm moving into a smaller room with a much smaller closet so this should be interesting. I'm ready to have my stuff settled in again.

I'm going to go wander around and see if some vitamin D will improve my mood.

the thing to do

Everyone seems to be blogging about change these days, so I'll join the club. Partially because I'm thinking about it and partially because I'm using it as a delay technique.

I'm sitting on the floor in my room. It's the only room in our apartment that seems remotely normal. The only one that has furniture left in it. My Porsche poster is still on the wall but my shelves have been taken down. I was reminded yesterday as I unscrewed them from the wall of what a pain they were to hang. It was a "I don't need any stupid men" project. I did pretty good building them. Didn't need any stupid men to help me with that part. But then I found out that it's kind of hard to hang a shelf on your own. Managed the bottom one using my shoulder as a third hand, but ended up having to get Tanya to hold the other end while I screwed them in.

I think I'm not so much in a sentimental mood as in a I hate moving mood. I have to leave for work in a little over 12 hours and when I get back on Tuesday I'll have another 8 to move my stuff. I should get a move on (no pun intended - though that is a good one :-P).

I'm moving into the Jones household for the time being. I don't know how long that will be. I have other stuff to figure out before then. But for now it's cheap, convenient, and my landlords are pretty awesome. Some of the others living there... not so much awesome, but it'll do for now.

I wish that I had made time to blog about my last trip cause it was awesome and now I'm starting another one and it's getting further in the past. I'm still catching up on my sleep. I visited two beaches in two days. I found out that a good way to feel good about your body, pretty much regardless of the shape it's in, is to go to the beach in New Hampshire. That was the first time I've been to a New England beach and the water was cold, but it was amusing, and we had lobster afterwards. I had no idea Manchester was so close to the beach. The next day we were in Key West which was awesome as well. It was much, much hotter so I spent most of the day in the pool and my entire face and part of my shoulders have now peeled as a result. It was good fun and we met some crazy passengers from Boston who were fun to hang out with.

I have too much to do so I'm ending this now. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

I am le tired

I don't have my contacts on and can't be bothered to get my glasses out so this may contain typos. I'm in Baton Rouge. I am very tired. I've been reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" which makes me think, and I've also just been thinking a lot. Remembering mostly. Today I brought green beans to work as a snack. It reminded me of my Madrid exodus with Elizabeth. I basically took everything out of the frig that wouldn't last until Marikay got back. Then when we got to Barcelona early in the morning and were lost and hungry we ate tomatoes like apples and green beans like... twizzlers?? I quite like them that way. I like crunchy foods a lot, hence my love for chips and cheetos. The crunchiness of the beans helps satisfy my desire for crunchy junk. But in a much healthier way. I also talked to Leslie the other day. She was another important part of my time in Madrid. It's funny cause this is about the time I was spending time with them. Crazy how memories seem to pop up from nowhere and then you realize it's the anniversary of the memory making. (Would that be the memory's birthday?)

This was a busy week. I thought I had blogged but evidently not. I'm back at work and had a long day. It didn't help that it was preceded by a short night. We're back down to Key West on Monday. We had a great time last week and I'm really looking forward to going back. And then again next Monday. Woo hoo. Thankfully I'm not working every Sunday next month. So far it looks like Wed-Sat.

I went to the doctor this week about my back. It's been hurting for over 3 weeks now. Making life in general a pain in the baaack. He said to take 3 ibuprofin 3 times a day for 5 days. I took them yesterday and this morning and felt like I was going to throw up all day so I stopped. I also got xrays done. Hopefully they don't find out anything weird like I have a hair growing in my spine...(Weird story I heard recently. Can't remember where.) Also got a prescription for Ambien, under whose influence I'm writing this. I'm expecting my eyelids to zip closed any moment and I pass out. This may seem early, but I have to be up at 425am and for the sake of my crew I need to get some sleep.

I'll try to write something less random tomorrow in NH. Don't count on it though...


Currently reading: Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson By Mitch Albom

stories dont mean anything when youve got noone to tell them to

I finished work today before noon. It was nice, except that I started at 530 this morning. The bulk of our work was done yesterday, and amazingly enough, all on time, all without swapping planes. We were supposed to go to Baton Rouge last night but right when we came in from our previous trip they switched us to Knoxville. Was a nice change since it's only a 26 minute flight and I was able to be in bed at 8pm. Our flight back to Atlanta this morning left at 615 so we were back in the lounge by 7am. Whenever I finish a flight I always turn on my phone and check for messages and to see if anyone loves me. I was a little disappointed this morning until I realized that most normal people were still sleeping.

Now I'm in Manchester, NH and not sure what I'm going to do with the day. I need to go check out the gym facilities here. I want to take a nap but am afraid if I do I won't be able to sleep tonight. I love Hampton Inns. The Hilton we stayed in last night was also very nice. This one even has a microwave and frig. Good times. I'll eat my leftover rice, chicken, and squash from Friday. Oh yeah, you know you're up north when your hotel room ac is automatically set on 66. It's in the upper 70s here and they're all roasting.

Kathryn came over on Friday and helped me eliminate a whole lot of junk from my life. I had no idea it would feel so good to take a 3 drawer plastic storage container and throw the whole thing (full) into the dumpster. I think she should work on one of those tv shows that helps people restore order to their houses. She's awesome :). Every few days now I go through my closet and get rid of more clothes as well. I'm becoming less emotionally attached to my stuff, which is good for me. I have an especially hard time with things people gave me, but I figure if they love me and want me to happy they won't care if I don't keep their gift my whole life. Clutter seems to affect me a lot emotionally so it's good to be able to eliminate some. The fact that I still don't know where I'm moving is also a good incentive for keeping less things. I thought I had it all worked out, but evidently the offer had been made (repeatedly) without actually thinking about it.... Good times. So back to the drawing board. I don't know how much disappointment I can handle in one month.

I think I'm going to get off the bed. Maybe that will help me stay awake - especially since these beds are so comfortable.

Oh yeah, the highlight of my day yesterday was transporting the Argentinian National Rugby Team from Pensacola to Atlanta :). I felt really bad for them because they didn't fit very well on our plane but they sure were fun to look at. Seriously, what part of spending time with 18 muscular Argentinian IN SUITS wouldn't make a girl happy?

PS. This is my 200th post.


Currently reading: The Case for Christ: A Journalist's Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus By Lee Strobel

Last day of freedom

I woke up a little while ago and realized I have to be back at work in less than 24 hours. This kind of sucks because I feel like I haven't gotten anything done on my off days.

I had weird dreams this morning. I dreamed I was supposed to go to Germany for vacation but couldn't remember when the trip I was doing ended so I wasn't sure if I could make the flight. Then it started snowing (during summer I'm assuming). There was some big group of people and I think they were trying to sing "My Country Tis of Thee" but they couldn't stay in one key, so the director guy asked if anyone could stay in one key. I said I could and he made me sing it by myself in front of everyone. Reminded me of one of my classes in college. But then I couldn't remember the right words so I just made ones up... This whole time I'm going around trying to find a computer to find out when I have to fly.

So now I'm awake and realize I have a ton of laundry to do and need to get a lot more stuff packed. I just looked at my schedule and somehow I only have 4 days off between now and the end of the month, which means I have to get all my packing to prepare for storage finished by then. My packing guru and friend, Kathryn, has deemed my case worthy of her assistance and will be coming over in a while. I need to get some laundry going in the meantime.

Yesterday was a lovely day. I did some random stuff around the house and then my Mama and Michal came over. We ate lunch and went swimming. It was good fun and nice to be around them.

Last night I went to the gym with Molly but did the bike instead of running cause my back still hurts. It makes me really frustrated at myself when I think of how much money I've wasted not going. I wish I was one of those people who just loves it. Though I have failed and been a slacker I'm still not giving up. My mom brought me squash from their garden, grapes, bananas, and cherries, which really helps when I'm trying to eat healthier. I had two yummy meals yesterday.

Guess I should go do laundry. Woo hoo!

she said it's cold outside and hands me my raincoat

I'm very pleased to be writing this from my very own apartment. I only have 20 more days to call it that, but the huge cockroach that I killed in here last night helped me be less sad about that.

I think I need about a month off from work. The trip this weekend was a little, actually a lot disappointing. My 33 hours at Ft. Walton Beach didn't even come close to happening. I think that God is trying to teach me something through disappointment. I'm not sure what though. I don't deal with it very well. It's hard for me to know what to do because the guy I was flying with kept being all optimistic about things working out, but I can't do that because the more I looked forward to something working out, the more upset I was when it didn't. I don't want to become cynical or a pessimist, but I can't handle disappointment.

We did finally make it to Key West for a short night there. It was really nice to walk on the beach and eat shrimp. I look forward to going back there every Monday this month, but at the same time, I don't want to look forward to it too much cause then if it doesn't happen I'll be really disappointed.

I did get to see my family on Sunday cause we got stuck in Atlanta for 5 hours. That was a definite plus.

I just ate some food that was in the frig. I'm not sure where i came from, and now I'm not sure if eating it was such a good idea.

I have so many things going on in my head right now. So many decisions to make. So many things that I don't know what to do with. I look forward to when things settle down again.

It's starting to storm outside which makes me kind of happy. I like the sound of rain.

It's Friday and I didn't even know it

This whole week of not doing anything has really confused me schedule-wise. I just talked to Angela. She's driving over here to go to dinner and was saying she should be on time, but she isn't sure. I was like well the traffic shouldnt' be too bad. It was fine on I-85. She said 85 isn't usually the problem. That it's usually around 285 and I-20. I said, well since it's Saturday there really shouldn't be that much.... It still makes me laugh.

My mother got home from China today. FINALLY. It's been a ridiculous mission but it sounds like she still made the most of her extra time there. It was really good to see her. It's nice to be able to go back to the terminals and meet people. I'm proud of all the adventuring she's done. Especially considering that she's never been off the North American continent until now. China is not an easy place for beginner travelers but she did just fine.

I'm about to go meet some of the girls at Mt. Fuji. I love that place. I've eaten out way too much this week and my stomach is hating me for it. But I'm not going to stop. Last night we had Thai food and it was sooo yummy.

I feel better in some ways than I did at the beginning of the week, but some things haven't changed. I'm still not sure where I'm going to live at the end of the month. I have options, it's just the uncertainty and lack of truly pleasant options that is getting to me. I've been the biggest, grouchiest complainer all week. I can't remember the last time I was this unpleasant :-P. Good thing I have patient friends.

It's back to work tomorrow and I think it will be good for me. I need to get my mind on something else and get out of my house. My cousin Susan came up on Wednesday and we've had a really nice visit. She's a good distraction ;). Tomorrow night I'll be in Ft. Walton Beach and don't leave until Monday morning. Then Monday afternoon I end up in Key West. A flight attendant called me yesterday and asked if I'd switch my trip with hers because her husband is the captain on mine. It sucks cause ordinarly I wouldn't mind since I know her and she's really nice, but this trip is the whole reason I picked this stupid working every weekend schedule, so there's no way I'm giving it up.

My back is still killing me. Maybe some time lying in the sand will help. Now it's moving up to my neck. I am definitely getting old. The scary thing is, all the men that seem to want to talk to me lately are getting even older... That's a whole other story. I'm off to enjoy my Saturday/Friday night :-P.

we're all getting old

It's the fourth of july. Happy birthday America. I'm not feeling very patriotic today. I'll have to work on it. I am wearing blue pj pants and a white shirt. Just need something red and I'll be about as patriotic as you can get :-P.

I think I'm getting old. My vision is failing. My back hurts and I can't seem to figure out why or what to do about it. It hurts to tie my shoes, to laugh, to step into clothes, to pick anything off the floor, to sit up... And poor Tanya has to listen to me whine about it.

I don't have anything interesting to write about. I need to go make my room walkable since I'm having company. Then I'm going to go work on my tan and be lazy all day.

grumblings

I'm not a happy camper right now. My mom is stuck in China. I want her back. We all want her back. I feel like it's my fault but there isn't any way I could've known this would happen. It's such a frustrating, stupid, ridiculous, unreasonable situation. Also, my heart is broken. Only for the millionth time. I want it fixed and never to break again. But then again, who ever really wants their heart to break in the first place? Why am I so stupid as to put myself in a situation where I know I'm going to end up like this? I am not at work, which actually makes me happier than if I were, but I'm very unhappy with my company right now. If I were an impulsive person I might have quit my job tonight. I just felt that irritated with it all. I think this is all pay back for the last several depression-free months. I find myself more upset over things than I would normally be. Or that's how I feel anyway. I also found out that the new charger was supposedly delivered on 6.28. Hopefully it was delivered to the office here and they just didn't bother letting me know. Would've been nice to have a few days ago.

I need to find the off switch for my brain. I want to sleep and not have the bad dreams I've had the last two nights. It's amazing how much dreams can affect your waking self. Today I found myself nearly overwhelmed by fear that these dreams brought on me. I don't like it and had to keep reminding myself that fear is not from the Lord. It helps me understand people I know who are sometime debilitated by what, at the time, seem like silly fears to me.

I've been told several times lately that I need to find a new job. I didn't get the one I was wanting. Found that out on Monday via email. I haven't given up on it though. Just need to try a different avenue. I don't think I want to be a flight attendant for the rest of my life but I'm not ready to give up flight benefits. I think I just need to work for a different company. Tonight, instead of finding someone to cover the overnight they assigned me (mine got canceled) and let me come back in the morning after I felt better my company chose to mark me sick for the rest of my trip. There is no helping anyone out. It's a much longer story than that but makes me mad to think about it. Now I'm off til Saturday. I'm glad cause I need a break from all the madness. I'd like to work for a company that actually cares about me, if that even exists. I need to start writing or doing something else.

I found out yesterday that I have been seeing 20/40 out of my left eye. I must be getting old. At least it's corrected now.

I also signed up for my 401k yesterday. It makes me feel like I'm getting old but in a good way. I should've done it a long time ago, but at least I'm enrolled now.

I had one of the San Antonio Spurs in my front seat the other day coming back from Nassau. He was traveling with his wife. Didn't know he played for them til after he got off and my captain recognized him. Don't even know his name. They were really nice though and we talked for a while. I also rode next to an NFL player last week coming back from Adri's. Didn't know who he was either til I asked him about his ankle (was swollen from surgery which led to conversations about injuries, football, etc...). He used to play for the Giants. I wonder how it makes them feel that I have no idea who they are. Ha

Things are shaping up on the home front. I have one roommate and now we are looking for a third person, since that will be the cheapest option. Now I just need to throw away everything I own so I can start from scratch when I move at the end of the month. I will definitely have plenty to keep me busy this week.

I think I'll try sleep again. Hopefully tomorrow I won't be running on battery power anymore and can keep up with the online world a little better. I feel so out of the loop :-P. This is a lot of disclosure for a myspace blog, but I know that people who love me read it and I need to share.