a sunny Manchester day

I have nothing fantastic to blog about. I'm bored, tired, and grouchy. My reasons for being so aren't really that good either. I just am. I'm lonely but too grouchy to really be around or talk to anyone either, yet being by myself makes me grouchier.. It's a vicious cycle :-P.

It was nice to have a break from watching Flica all the time and hoping for trades and swaps... This was the first month in a year that I haven't swapped everything around. It's been a nice month of work. I'm going to miss my crew. They've been great. Next month I don't like my schedule as much, plus I have vacation so I'm trying to swap everything around. I wish I didn't have any bills. Otherwise, I'd take my potentially 14 days off and go somewhere exotic. I might still do it anyway. It's been way too long since I went far far away. I've gotten so comfortable in where I am that I can hardly remember the person who got dropped off on the side of the highway in Hungary. I think one reason I'm remembering that person again is because it seems that so many of the things I've been comfortable with have changed.

I spent my last night in our apartment on Friday night. It was uneventful. I made about 15 trips up and down 3 floors of stairs with half my stuff. If you thought moving was awful, try moving by yourself. It rocks my face off. I still have to move some stuff when I get home on Tuesday but hopefully it won't take long. I was looking at the pile that I'm making in Matt and Molly's garage and wondering what the heck all that stuff is. I'm pretty sure all I moved was my bathroom stuff, clothes, and bedding and it seems like so much. I'm moving into a smaller room with a much smaller closet so this should be interesting. I'm ready to have my stuff settled in again.

I'm going to go wander around and see if some vitamin D will improve my mood.

the thing to do

Everyone seems to be blogging about change these days, so I'll join the club. Partially because I'm thinking about it and partially because I'm using it as a delay technique.

I'm sitting on the floor in my room. It's the only room in our apartment that seems remotely normal. The only one that has furniture left in it. My Porsche poster is still on the wall but my shelves have been taken down. I was reminded yesterday as I unscrewed them from the wall of what a pain they were to hang. It was a "I don't need any stupid men" project. I did pretty good building them. Didn't need any stupid men to help me with that part. But then I found out that it's kind of hard to hang a shelf on your own. Managed the bottom one using my shoulder as a third hand, but ended up having to get Tanya to hold the other end while I screwed them in.

I think I'm not so much in a sentimental mood as in a I hate moving mood. I have to leave for work in a little over 12 hours and when I get back on Tuesday I'll have another 8 to move my stuff. I should get a move on (no pun intended - though that is a good one :-P).

I'm moving into the Jones household for the time being. I don't know how long that will be. I have other stuff to figure out before then. But for now it's cheap, convenient, and my landlords are pretty awesome. Some of the others living there... not so much awesome, but it'll do for now.

I wish that I had made time to blog about my last trip cause it was awesome and now I'm starting another one and it's getting further in the past. I'm still catching up on my sleep. I visited two beaches in two days. I found out that a good way to feel good about your body, pretty much regardless of the shape it's in, is to go to the beach in New Hampshire. That was the first time I've been to a New England beach and the water was cold, but it was amusing, and we had lobster afterwards. I had no idea Manchester was so close to the beach. The next day we were in Key West which was awesome as well. It was much, much hotter so I spent most of the day in the pool and my entire face and part of my shoulders have now peeled as a result. It was good fun and we met some crazy passengers from Boston who were fun to hang out with.

I have too much to do so I'm ending this now. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

I am le tired

I don't have my contacts on and can't be bothered to get my glasses out so this may contain typos. I'm in Baton Rouge. I am very tired. I've been reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" which makes me think, and I've also just been thinking a lot. Remembering mostly. Today I brought green beans to work as a snack. It reminded me of my Madrid exodus with Elizabeth. I basically took everything out of the frig that wouldn't last until Marikay got back. Then when we got to Barcelona early in the morning and were lost and hungry we ate tomatoes like apples and green beans like... twizzlers?? I quite like them that way. I like crunchy foods a lot, hence my love for chips and cheetos. The crunchiness of the beans helps satisfy my desire for crunchy junk. But in a much healthier way. I also talked to Leslie the other day. She was another important part of my time in Madrid. It's funny cause this is about the time I was spending time with them. Crazy how memories seem to pop up from nowhere and then you realize it's the anniversary of the memory making. (Would that be the memory's birthday?)

This was a busy week. I thought I had blogged but evidently not. I'm back at work and had a long day. It didn't help that it was preceded by a short night. We're back down to Key West on Monday. We had a great time last week and I'm really looking forward to going back. And then again next Monday. Woo hoo. Thankfully I'm not working every Sunday next month. So far it looks like Wed-Sat.

I went to the doctor this week about my back. It's been hurting for over 3 weeks now. Making life in general a pain in the baaack. He said to take 3 ibuprofin 3 times a day for 5 days. I took them yesterday and this morning and felt like I was going to throw up all day so I stopped. I also got xrays done. Hopefully they don't find out anything weird like I have a hair growing in my spine...(Weird story I heard recently. Can't remember where.) Also got a prescription for Ambien, under whose influence I'm writing this. I'm expecting my eyelids to zip closed any moment and I pass out. This may seem early, but I have to be up at 425am and for the sake of my crew I need to get some sleep.

I'll try to write something less random tomorrow in NH. Don't count on it though...


Currently reading: Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson By Mitch Albom

stories dont mean anything when youve got noone to tell them to

I finished work today before noon. It was nice, except that I started at 530 this morning. The bulk of our work was done yesterday, and amazingly enough, all on time, all without swapping planes. We were supposed to go to Baton Rouge last night but right when we came in from our previous trip they switched us to Knoxville. Was a nice change since it's only a 26 minute flight and I was able to be in bed at 8pm. Our flight back to Atlanta this morning left at 615 so we were back in the lounge by 7am. Whenever I finish a flight I always turn on my phone and check for messages and to see if anyone loves me. I was a little disappointed this morning until I realized that most normal people were still sleeping.

Now I'm in Manchester, NH and not sure what I'm going to do with the day. I need to go check out the gym facilities here. I want to take a nap but am afraid if I do I won't be able to sleep tonight. I love Hampton Inns. The Hilton we stayed in last night was also very nice. This one even has a microwave and frig. Good times. I'll eat my leftover rice, chicken, and squash from Friday. Oh yeah, you know you're up north when your hotel room ac is automatically set on 66. It's in the upper 70s here and they're all roasting.

Kathryn came over on Friday and helped me eliminate a whole lot of junk from my life. I had no idea it would feel so good to take a 3 drawer plastic storage container and throw the whole thing (full) into the dumpster. I think she should work on one of those tv shows that helps people restore order to their houses. She's awesome :). Every few days now I go through my closet and get rid of more clothes as well. I'm becoming less emotionally attached to my stuff, which is good for me. I have an especially hard time with things people gave me, but I figure if they love me and want me to happy they won't care if I don't keep their gift my whole life. Clutter seems to affect me a lot emotionally so it's good to be able to eliminate some. The fact that I still don't know where I'm moving is also a good incentive for keeping less things. I thought I had it all worked out, but evidently the offer had been made (repeatedly) without actually thinking about it.... Good times. So back to the drawing board. I don't know how much disappointment I can handle in one month.

I think I'm going to get off the bed. Maybe that will help me stay awake - especially since these beds are so comfortable.

Oh yeah, the highlight of my day yesterday was transporting the Argentinian National Rugby Team from Pensacola to Atlanta :). I felt really bad for them because they didn't fit very well on our plane but they sure were fun to look at. Seriously, what part of spending time with 18 muscular Argentinian IN SUITS wouldn't make a girl happy?

PS. This is my 200th post.


Currently reading: The Case for Christ: A Journalist's Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus By Lee Strobel

Last day of freedom

I woke up a little while ago and realized I have to be back at work in less than 24 hours. This kind of sucks because I feel like I haven't gotten anything done on my off days.

I had weird dreams this morning. I dreamed I was supposed to go to Germany for vacation but couldn't remember when the trip I was doing ended so I wasn't sure if I could make the flight. Then it started snowing (during summer I'm assuming). There was some big group of people and I think they were trying to sing "My Country Tis of Thee" but they couldn't stay in one key, so the director guy asked if anyone could stay in one key. I said I could and he made me sing it by myself in front of everyone. Reminded me of one of my classes in college. But then I couldn't remember the right words so I just made ones up... This whole time I'm going around trying to find a computer to find out when I have to fly.

So now I'm awake and realize I have a ton of laundry to do and need to get a lot more stuff packed. I just looked at my schedule and somehow I only have 4 days off between now and the end of the month, which means I have to get all my packing to prepare for storage finished by then. My packing guru and friend, Kathryn, has deemed my case worthy of her assistance and will be coming over in a while. I need to get some laundry going in the meantime.

Yesterday was a lovely day. I did some random stuff around the house and then my Mama and Michal came over. We ate lunch and went swimming. It was good fun and nice to be around them.

Last night I went to the gym with Molly but did the bike instead of running cause my back still hurts. It makes me really frustrated at myself when I think of how much money I've wasted not going. I wish I was one of those people who just loves it. Though I have failed and been a slacker I'm still not giving up. My mom brought me squash from their garden, grapes, bananas, and cherries, which really helps when I'm trying to eat healthier. I had two yummy meals yesterday.

Guess I should go do laundry. Woo hoo!

she said it's cold outside and hands me my raincoat

I'm very pleased to be writing this from my very own apartment. I only have 20 more days to call it that, but the huge cockroach that I killed in here last night helped me be less sad about that.

I think I need about a month off from work. The trip this weekend was a little, actually a lot disappointing. My 33 hours at Ft. Walton Beach didn't even come close to happening. I think that God is trying to teach me something through disappointment. I'm not sure what though. I don't deal with it very well. It's hard for me to know what to do because the guy I was flying with kept being all optimistic about things working out, but I can't do that because the more I looked forward to something working out, the more upset I was when it didn't. I don't want to become cynical or a pessimist, but I can't handle disappointment.

We did finally make it to Key West for a short night there. It was really nice to walk on the beach and eat shrimp. I look forward to going back there every Monday this month, but at the same time, I don't want to look forward to it too much cause then if it doesn't happen I'll be really disappointed.

I did get to see my family on Sunday cause we got stuck in Atlanta for 5 hours. That was a definite plus.

I just ate some food that was in the frig. I'm not sure where i came from, and now I'm not sure if eating it was such a good idea.

I have so many things going on in my head right now. So many decisions to make. So many things that I don't know what to do with. I look forward to when things settle down again.

It's starting to storm outside which makes me kind of happy. I like the sound of rain.

It's Friday and I didn't even know it

This whole week of not doing anything has really confused me schedule-wise. I just talked to Angela. She's driving over here to go to dinner and was saying she should be on time, but she isn't sure. I was like well the traffic shouldnt' be too bad. It was fine on I-85. She said 85 isn't usually the problem. That it's usually around 285 and I-20. I said, well since it's Saturday there really shouldn't be that much.... It still makes me laugh.

My mother got home from China today. FINALLY. It's been a ridiculous mission but it sounds like she still made the most of her extra time there. It was really good to see her. It's nice to be able to go back to the terminals and meet people. I'm proud of all the adventuring she's done. Especially considering that she's never been off the North American continent until now. China is not an easy place for beginner travelers but she did just fine.

I'm about to go meet some of the girls at Mt. Fuji. I love that place. I've eaten out way too much this week and my stomach is hating me for it. But I'm not going to stop. Last night we had Thai food and it was sooo yummy.

I feel better in some ways than I did at the beginning of the week, but some things haven't changed. I'm still not sure where I'm going to live at the end of the month. I have options, it's just the uncertainty and lack of truly pleasant options that is getting to me. I've been the biggest, grouchiest complainer all week. I can't remember the last time I was this unpleasant :-P. Good thing I have patient friends.

It's back to work tomorrow and I think it will be good for me. I need to get my mind on something else and get out of my house. My cousin Susan came up on Wednesday and we've had a really nice visit. She's a good distraction ;). Tomorrow night I'll be in Ft. Walton Beach and don't leave until Monday morning. Then Monday afternoon I end up in Key West. A flight attendant called me yesterday and asked if I'd switch my trip with hers because her husband is the captain on mine. It sucks cause ordinarly I wouldn't mind since I know her and she's really nice, but this trip is the whole reason I picked this stupid working every weekend schedule, so there's no way I'm giving it up.

My back is still killing me. Maybe some time lying in the sand will help. Now it's moving up to my neck. I am definitely getting old. The scary thing is, all the men that seem to want to talk to me lately are getting even older... That's a whole other story. I'm off to enjoy my Saturday/Friday night :-P.

we're all getting old

It's the fourth of july. Happy birthday America. I'm not feeling very patriotic today. I'll have to work on it. I am wearing blue pj pants and a white shirt. Just need something red and I'll be about as patriotic as you can get :-P.

I think I'm getting old. My vision is failing. My back hurts and I can't seem to figure out why or what to do about it. It hurts to tie my shoes, to laugh, to step into clothes, to pick anything off the floor, to sit up... And poor Tanya has to listen to me whine about it.

I don't have anything interesting to write about. I need to go make my room walkable since I'm having company. Then I'm going to go work on my tan and be lazy all day.

grumblings

I'm not a happy camper right now. My mom is stuck in China. I want her back. We all want her back. I feel like it's my fault but there isn't any way I could've known this would happen. It's such a frustrating, stupid, ridiculous, unreasonable situation. Also, my heart is broken. Only for the millionth time. I want it fixed and never to break again. But then again, who ever really wants their heart to break in the first place? Why am I so stupid as to put myself in a situation where I know I'm going to end up like this? I am not at work, which actually makes me happier than if I were, but I'm very unhappy with my company right now. If I were an impulsive person I might have quit my job tonight. I just felt that irritated with it all. I think this is all pay back for the last several depression-free months. I find myself more upset over things than I would normally be. Or that's how I feel anyway. I also found out that the new charger was supposedly delivered on 6.28. Hopefully it was delivered to the office here and they just didn't bother letting me know. Would've been nice to have a few days ago.

I need to find the off switch for my brain. I want to sleep and not have the bad dreams I've had the last two nights. It's amazing how much dreams can affect your waking self. Today I found myself nearly overwhelmed by fear that these dreams brought on me. I don't like it and had to keep reminding myself that fear is not from the Lord. It helps me understand people I know who are sometime debilitated by what, at the time, seem like silly fears to me.

I've been told several times lately that I need to find a new job. I didn't get the one I was wanting. Found that out on Monday via email. I haven't given up on it though. Just need to try a different avenue. I don't think I want to be a flight attendant for the rest of my life but I'm not ready to give up flight benefits. I think I just need to work for a different company. Tonight, instead of finding someone to cover the overnight they assigned me (mine got canceled) and let me come back in the morning after I felt better my company chose to mark me sick for the rest of my trip. There is no helping anyone out. It's a much longer story than that but makes me mad to think about it. Now I'm off til Saturday. I'm glad cause I need a break from all the madness. I'd like to work for a company that actually cares about me, if that even exists. I need to start writing or doing something else.

I found out yesterday that I have been seeing 20/40 out of my left eye. I must be getting old. At least it's corrected now.

I also signed up for my 401k yesterday. It makes me feel like I'm getting old but in a good way. I should've done it a long time ago, but at least I'm enrolled now.

I had one of the San Antonio Spurs in my front seat the other day coming back from Nassau. He was traveling with his wife. Didn't know he played for them til after he got off and my captain recognized him. Don't even know his name. They were really nice though and we talked for a while. I also rode next to an NFL player last week coming back from Adri's. Didn't know who he was either til I asked him about his ankle (was swollen from surgery which led to conversations about injuries, football, etc...). He used to play for the Giants. I wonder how it makes them feel that I have no idea who they are. Ha

Things are shaping up on the home front. I have one roommate and now we are looking for a third person, since that will be the cheapest option. Now I just need to throw away everything I own so I can start from scratch when I move at the end of the month. I will definitely have plenty to keep me busy this week.

I think I'll try sleep again. Hopefully tomorrow I won't be running on battery power anymore and can keep up with the online world a little better. I feel so out of the loop :-P. This is a lot of disclosure for a myspace blog, but I know that people who love me read it and I need to share.

Why I haven't been blogging

My laptop charger has ceased to charge so I have very limited access to the internet. I'm supposed to be getting a replacement (evidently my laptop is still under warranty - good to know) but it has yet to arrive.

I have been traveling hither and yon and want to be home for a minute. Well more than a minute actually.

More to come soon when I get my charger.

Randomness from Alexandria

That's Louisiana for any of you who thought I might be in a cool town...

I misbid next month. I am supposed to work every Sat-Tues. The upside of it is I'm scheduled to spend a great deal of time at the beach. hmmm...

I arrived into my hotel room at 207 local time. A mere 4 hours late. Welcome to summer time in Atlanta. The plane we were supposed to take to Moline at 350 got diverted to Savannah while coming in from Baton Rouge and didn't even land until after 7.

I witnessed the Braves beating the Red Sox last night. It was a quite enjoyable experience. I did that after spending pretty much the entire day at the pool. Also an enjoyable experience. Yay for Molly's birthday and for J having a whole day off from flying and his other job.

I think there is a rule that if I have a good looking passenger he must have a baby and/or attractive wife in tow.

My nose itches really bad.

I have had lots of offers for places to live and a potential roommate situation come up. Still no clue what I'm actually going to do.

Peter is the best little brother ever. Who, when they offer to bring you lunch to "use up lunch meat in the frig" brings mac'n'cheese, sandwiches (toasted bread, lettuce, tomato, mayo, mustard, meat, and cheese), the only sweet tea in the world that I like in a big jar, yogurt, and cookie dough (not for cooking. just eating.)? It was very yummy and also great because I haven't had a chance to have a meal since then.

I got my hair cut today which always makes me happy. Nothing like a fresh, short cut and a visit with Faith.

I have sufficiently unwound and must sleep now.

expired food

The yogurt I just ate is a month past it's expiration date and the chocolate milk I'm drinking is 12 days past. Mmmm... They both taste fine though.

I'm finally home from the trip I thought would never end. And I came home to an empty apartment. I hate it. Amie moved out while I was gone and Tanya is in Texas. It makes me ridiculously sad to have Amie gone. Jonathan gave me a ride home last night and I think he thought I was going off the deep end... I don't like that Amie won't be coming in my room in the morning anymore or noticing the little things about me that noone else does. (Who else will tell you they like waking up and just knowing you're in the next room?) I don't like that the only person who got really, really excited when I was going to be home is gone. I don't like that our apartment will no longer be the fun place to hang out. It'll be the empty place. I had dreams last night about moving. Still not sure where though. Dreamed that the complex here was trying to make us stay. Ha! I know I'm probably being a little dramatic cause she isn't moving to the moon or anything, but things are changing and it's happening a lot faster than I'm prepared for and it makes me really sad.

I'm going to the gym. I don't feel like it but I need to. I don't see how I couldn't have lost weight this week. All I've been eating is dried fruit, real fruit and other healthy things. I did have chicken nachos one night and Taco Bell last night... We'll see.

Yesterday I fell in love

With Burlington, VT. I had the pleasure of spending a night and most of a day there and discovered that it was a beautiful, charming little town. The weather was perfect (though I was told it's only that way about 4 months out of the year). It began on the way up when it seemed that my two front seat passengers worked for the BTV chamber of commerce. They seemed to think that it's the best city anyway. They told me lots of places I had to see and things to do. It's nice to meet people who love their home so much.

Wednesday night Adri drove from MA to Burlington to see me. I personally think she was crazy to do it, but I appreciated it so much. It made me feel special. It was awesome to see her. The next day she had to go back to work so I walked back down to the town. The weather was perfect and beautiful. There's a street that's blocked off to traffic and just has shops and restaurants on it. I just wandered around there. Ate Chinese dumplings from a stand, walked to the water front, went shopping, ate icecream. It was generally a very lovely day. When I grow up and am rich I might by a summer house up on Lake Champlain and spend my days wandering through the little towns :).

Today is the last day of my trip. I don't know if it's because I did a dayline before I started this trip, but it seems like it's lasting forever. I have 3 legs today and am supposed to finished at 830 tonight. I have little confidence in that though considering that 4 out of my last 4 days of work have ended anywhere from an hour to 2.5 hours late. Wish me luck, or good weather, or whatever.

Right now I'm in Northwest Arkansas. We're supposed to leave here in about an hour and I've officlally done nothing with my morning. We got in really late last night and it took me a while to wind down so I had to sleep til almost 11 to get close to 8 hours of sleep.

I hope everyone is having a fabulous Friday.

mass confusion

Seems to be the Atlanta airport lately. Last night, once again, it took us a ridiculous amount of time to go from the gate to the air. An hour and a half to be exact. It also makes me a little confused about the way God blesses us. On Monday when I made up the time I would've lost by swapping while we were sitting on the ground I thought it must be God. One of my friends argued though that if God made it rain so I would get paid more was He also making it rain to mess up other people's plans. I'm confused. Now I'm wondering if this is simply a matter of the sun shining on all and the rain raining on all. It's weird when you are benefiting from someone else's misfortune. (Let me insert here that the only time I really benefit from people's misfortune at work is when we are sitting on the plane for ridiculous amounts of time. That's the only time I'm actually getting paid.) But then I thought about how many other people/profession make their business from other's misfortune. Do construction people consider it a blessing from God when a disaster takes place and they have more work to do? I have no answers and now I'm even more confused.

Last night we got to White Plains, NY at 1:20am. Made it to bed around 2:20. Our driver to the hotel seemed like he was asleep. I was a little concerned. Now I have managed to sleep most of the morning away. I don't think there's much else to do around here. Our second flight once we get to Atlanta is already delayed 2 hours. No idea why. This is not a good sign.

Things are changing. Evidently Amie moved out yesterday. Makes me really sad. I feel like another chapter is ending. In my head I know this means another one will begin but right now I'm just a little sad about it.

I found a flaw with my phone. It holds very few text messages. I had gotten used to my old phone that never filled up. And at the rate that I text this could get annoying. We'll see. I like it otherwise but I'm all about my texting so we'll see. I'm going to see if there's anything to do around this hotel. All I see is trees but maybe there's something hidden away.

bad/good

My mother has just set sail back across the wild blue yonder but without me this time. It kind of makes me nervous. I think this must be how parents feel when they send their children off into the great unknown without them.

I'm starting another 4 day trip today. On paper it looks good. We'll see how it goes. It looks like I'll have a hodgepodge of pilots. Sometimes that's good cause if one of them sucks he'll be gone in a day or so, but it can also work the opposite way.

As I mentioned the other day, I switched my Sunday dayline for one on Monday. I was talking to my FO on Friday and he was saying how glad he was to finally have Sundays off so he could go to church. It made me feel bad and realize that I had voluntarily decided to work on Sunday, even though I'm trying to go to church more regularly. It's also the main day I get to spend with my family and I hate to miss that. It's just an all round good for my heart day. When I decided to swap though, I realized I'd lose almost 1.5hrs of time. I figured though, if I do what I know God would want me to do, then He'll take care of the rest.

So yesterday I went to work. I got up really late and had a hard time waking up so I was grouchy (again). We went to Talahassee and back, then headed off to Wichita. On the way back we were doing pretty good except they slowed us down a little. We landed about 7 and then just sat on the runway. Evidently there had been some weather drama that had clogged the airport up. At one point I went up in the cockpit and counted 26 planes sitting on the taxiways around and in front of us. So we ended up getting to the gate at 8:15. Since it took us all that time I ended up making the same as I would've made on Sunday, plus 6 minutes :-P. Contrary to what some may say, I don't think God made the weather and clogged up the airport so I'd get more money. I just know that I'm really glad I made the decision to trust God and swap. I would've rather gone home on time yesterday, but that's life in the airlines right?

Oh yeah... I think I have the worst phone luck. Yesterday when we were flying to Wichita I pulled the ice bucket out from its space. Right over the counter is a cubby where I put things during flight. I had a magazine and some random stuff in there. There's also a drain to the side which you can put things in when you don't want them to slide off the counter during take off. I moved my phone from the drain to the cubby because I had to drain all the water out of the ice bucket. Almost immediately after I placed it there it slid off into the bucket of water........ I gave it to the pilots to put on their dashboard to dry. It still worked when I turned it on later. Then when we got to Atlanta I bent down to unhook the handrails so they could bring the ramp up and it fell out of my pocket, onto the side of the door and onto the ground... I don't know what my problem is. All I kept thinking when this was happening was, I'm so glad my new phone didn't get here when I wanted it, otherwise that would've been it. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I HAVE to figure out a way to take better care of this phone. I love my new phone. It makes me happy. My perfume and the books came today as well which also makes me happy.

I think that's all I have for now. I should go pack for work.

bi polar weekend

That's what I had. Some of it rocked my face off. Some of it made me want to lie on the floor and throw a fit. I've learned that being aware of your grouchiness does not in any way lessen said grouchiness. I don't know why I'm so grouchy. I was probably a big jerk to all my friends and family. I tried not to be too bad.

Yesterday I didn't get back into Atlanta until 440 pm. I guess there are worse places to be stuck for 10 hours, but after getting all of my other flights for the day taken and still getting back later than scheduled I lost my sense of humor. Maybe it's still in Asheville.

I got home yesterday hoping to have my new cell phone waiting for me, only to find that it was locked in the apartment office for the weekend. We bought perfume off ebay. It hadn't arrived. I was also hoping to get some books I had ordered. Also not here. I had visions as I was driving home of the mailbox being too full and what would the mailman do if all my packages filled up the extra boxes. Not a single thing was here... Talk about disappointing.

This was actually a really nice weekend but I'm just a grouch right now. The fact that I have to work tomrorow doesn't help either. I am thankful that I didn't have to work today. I went up to Angela and Shaun's place, ate, swam, and got beaten in volleyball. I got about a million mosquito bites and probably got poison ivy as well, but it was really fun. Also went to church this morning and had lunch with the family. Always a good time. We're trying to get my mother shipped off to China this week. I think it's finally all figured out.

So for having spent as much good, fun time with friends and family you'd think I'd be more pleasant. Guess not :-P. I still am happy, but witha grouchy slant. Not that that makes sense. Just go with it okay?

Last night I saw Peter and Michal dance. It was really beautiful. One of these days I'll learn how to dance properly. I'm going to sleep so I can get up and go to Talahassee and Wichita. Home tomorrow night. Then I start a 4 day on Tuesday. Should be a pretty decent one. Then I'm home for the weekend. Woo hoo.

Last day syndrome

No, I'm not speaking of the end of the world. I speaking of the way that our planes break on the last day of every trip. We're finally on the home stretch. We're missing our homes and loved ones. We're so close I can almost taste the old food in my refrigerator. And our planes breaks. I just wish that there were some way to find this out before I got up at 430 and came to the airport.

I was going to blog last night about not being able to go to sleep, because I couldn't until about 1130, but my browser crashed and I took it as a sign to keep trying (to sleep). I'm all revved up on caffiene and have nothing to do now. So frustrating. It doesn't seem that we'll have to do our TYS turn, but I seriously doubt we'll get back late enough not to go to DTW. Good times. At least I don't have to stand up for 5 flights. My shoes still hurt so bad.

I've had a pretty good trip overall. I'm sad that I've swapped all the rest of my trips out because my crew is really nice. My captain is usually the last one downstairs in the morning, which makes me happy cause then it isn't me.

We're in Asheville right now and last night I was once again reminded of one of the perks of my job. We arrived here yesterday afternoon and my grandpa picked me up and took me to their house for dinner. It's so nice to think "I'm working right now" but to be able to spend time with friends or family. We had a really nice dinner (my grandma makes fabulous salmon) and a great visit. I haven't seen them very much in the last year so it's great to come up and visit. The weather up here is really nice and they also got a lot of rain yesterday. Hopefully some of it hit GA. When we were driving back to the hotel last night we saw part of a rainbow and a really beautiful sunset. It seriously is the little things in life that keep you happy.

Wireless internet in small airports also makes me happy. It's funny how nearly all the small airports have free wireless, but the big ones can't handle it. Not so much funny actually as ridiculous. And it even reaches out to our plane. Evidently the fluid we need is arriving at 9am on the flight from Atlanta. We'll see how that goes. It's also a fun thing getting local maintenance out bright and early on a Saturday morning. I'm supposed to work tomorrow. I think I was on drugs and I picked up a dayline from someone. It's a lot of time, but I still wish I hadn't. I really hate how much church I've missed lately and picking up trips definitely isn't going to change that. I called scheduling to see if they would swap it for one on Monday, but I'm supposed to call back later... I really hope they approve it. I don't want to have to be back to work at 740am tomorrow.

The caffiene is taking over my entire body so I'll stop now.

It's all about perspective

If you think Georgia is bad in the summer, just got to Louisiana. It's absolutely disgusting here. I just went for a little jaunt here in Lafayette. I wanted to go get sushi for lunch so I looked up the directions I saw that it was 2.5 miles away. Not entirely out of the question since I have time and need to exercise. Then I walked out the door and the humidity hit me. There's basically no point in sweating here because the air is already so wet. Needless to say I did not walk the 5 mile round trip. I went to the post office, stopped at some little stores, and got Subway for lunch.

I'm very pleased with myself. Probably for the first time in my life I mailed a birthday card and gift on time. Of course, I did get the gift when I was in China in February with the intention of giving it to my sister then. So it's in time for her birthday Monday but actually about 4 months late.

I need to get ready for work. My new shoes are killing me. Evidently my feet are just too bony. And my new flip flops rubbed a bare spot on my foot just now. Good thing I only have to fly two legs today. We end up in SCE, wherever that is. Somewhere in PA I think. I should be getting ready right now.

Persistence

I just woke up from a lovely night's sleep. It's my last night in my bed for 3 so I figured I'd enjoy it as long as possible. I have to be at work at 1423 so I should probably get a move on if I want to accomplish anything beforehand.

This morning I had all kinds of dreams. I did yesterday as well. I dreamed that the captain from our cruise ship called Charity and wanted to take her out. I wish I could remember more details of it. Just now I dreamed that we were swimming around in somewhere with clear water and tropical fish - and our living room. I dunno. Earlier I dreamed that we brought a flight in from somewhere. I think most of the people were going crazy cause they were singing "It's a small world" and wouldn't stop. We also had to get in line and turn in our report cards (odd) and if you did well you got some prize. But since I was at the back of the line by the time I got up there they were handing out crappy, navy blue afghans.

I also dreamed about Flica, my interenet scheduling site. I was not pleased with the schedule I got this month. My trips had too many legs each day and were all short ones. Those are the trips that tire me out. And they were all Wed-Sat. I'd prefer to be off on Saturdays since most of my friends have real jobs. So I've been trying to swap but keep getting denied for low coverage on the Saturdays. It's ridiculous to me because if you have a reserve who can work the Tues-Fri one let me do it and let them work the Wed-Sat one... But whatev. So I've swapped the last two trips of the month out for much better ones, but have been denied 7 times for low coverage on the 16th. 3 of the denials were for the same trip. So I kept putting it in. Last night I dreamed that instead of it saying Denied it said Wired to some email address. I was thinking I was getting in trouble for resubmitting so many times. Then I woke up this morning and it had been approved. HA! I beat scheduling at their nonsense. If at first you don't succeed, bug them til they give up and give you what you want :-D. That's my motto.

My legs are a lovely shade of sore this morning. I went to the gym yesterday with the lovely Molly and ran/walked for 40 minutes - over 3 miles. I did a lot better than I expected considering I haven't run in over a month. After the gym I cooked stir fry with the veggies I had in the frig. It was yummy. Then we ruined it by eating cheesecake. Go us. I blame Tanya and Molly for getting it out. They did, of course, force feed it to me.

This is what I do

When I can't decide what to do. I had a big day of lying (is that the right word) by the pool planned, but there seems to be thunder going on. I've spent the morning messing around online, going through my bills, catching up on emails, sorting things... but somehow feel like I haven't gotten much done. I need to go to the gym. I went yesterday for the first time in a long time. It was pretty pathetic. I guess it was better than not going at all...

Last night I enjoyed some amazing sushi. I had a hot date with a married person. Woo hoo! I love reconnecting with old friends. I love having people that I can be completely honest with.

I can't believe it's June already. Our lease is up at the end of July and I don't know where I'm going to live after that. I might just live in my car. Everyone is getting married. Moving on with their lives. I'd say I don't like it but there isn't any point in not liking it. It's life. It happens. I don't always accept the changes as quickly as I should, but I'm getting better at it. I think I have pretty much accepted that all of my friends are getting married and that when people get married things change. I'm not making any blanket statements because each of my friends has reacted differently to being married. Some have stayed the same. Some have gotten closer to me after they were married. Some have drifted away. Everyone is different. What can you do? You can't make someone be close to you. I'll probably do really obnoxious things if I ever get married too. Oh well. Growing up definitely teaches you not to hold on to anything too tight. It's ok. There is always something or someone wonderful just around the corner.

I had a lovely weekend with friends and family. They're fantastic. Poor Michal is sick. We celebrated Peter's birthday on Sunday. He's already blown all his money on lottery tickets and cigarettes since he's old enough now.

Today I need to get ready for my trip tomorrow. Go to the grocery store. Go to the gym. Get organized. Clean my room (it never ends). Call about this stupid bill I just got. I don't know what order to do everything in though. Fun times...

Oh yeah, I added some pictures.