Oh Atlanta, I hear you calling...

Whenever I'm really ready to go home this song comes to mind.

Yesterday I was thinking that I couldn't remember the last time I saw it rain. It's been a dry year in Georgia. We usually get so much rain we're sick of it. Now it's been a long, long time. It just started pouring down rain here in Little Rock. Even have some thunder going on. It's beautiful. I love to watch it and love the sound of it. There's a church in view right outside that I've been looking at all day. Crazy thing is, I can barely see it now it's raining so hard.

My life has been very full lately. After receiving the unpleasant news last week I was surrounded by loved ones all weekend. We celebrated Jamie's birthday. Had a lovely brunch at my new favorite breakfast place - J. Christopher's. Got to go to the Church of the Apostles with the parents and had the best mashed potatoes I've ever had at the dinner afterwards. Cooked dinner with Jersey. Good times all around.

I'm headed back to Atlanta in a couple hours and then on to Mobile for the night. Should be home tomorrow around 9pm. Then I'm going to Cincinnati to see the fabulous Kimba Jean. The rest of the weekend will be celebrating birthdays and early Thanksgivings.
I'm so unmotivated to go to work.

When the frost is on the punkin...

Then it's officially too cold for me. I'm about to scurry, yes scurry like a little mouse off to work. Yesterday, in my infinite wisdom and forethought, I picked up a dayline for today. I needed to make more money to save up for potentially training for a new job. Then after I got off the phone picking that up I checked my email and saw that no, there will be no training for any new job. Don't now why. Guess they didn't like my interview. I'm coping. Very disappointed. Not liking rejection. Tired of thinking about it, but you know how your mind doesn't just let it go like that. At least I get time and a half for the dayline. Like my dad has reminded me, it's all in God's hands. And like J says, I still have a good job and am fabulously healthy. Always look on the bright side of life, huh Jamie. Still...arg.

Off to work - that is, if I can find my way out of this disaster I call my room. It's reached an all time catastrophe level. Who wants to clean it for me?

Breaking news - there's an onion warning on the interstate. Beware.

Happy Birthday Jamie!

Coincidences/ coincidenci/ coincidi

I feel like everything I write these days is very "this is what I had for lunch" type writing. I kind of feel like not writing until I have something good, but I need to keep at it. Sorry for those who have to suffer through it.

So for lunch today.... Just kidding. I've been having thoughts about coincidences (I think coincidenci sounds much better) lately. I was raised to think that things weren't so much coincidences as from God. If something ever seemed a little odd or too coincidental I would try to see if there was something I needed to learn or some way I could grow from the incident - like God was trying to get my attention. I still don't believe anything happens by chance and do believe that God directs our paths and is ever present in our lives, but sometimes I have a hard time finding the God-ness in what seems like a total random coincidence. And not that God isn't involved in the tiny things of life, I believe He is, but these are just too tiny and silly.

The other day I flew with a guy and we were talking about speaking incorrectly. We discussed how people really shouldn't say "I could care less" because if they could care less it defeats the point they're trying to get across. Then my FO mentioned the phrase 'the proof of the pudding is in the eating'. I've never ever heard this before. I always thought it was 'the proof is in the pudding', not realizing what it meant. Then, not 8 hours later, I'm back home and in the doctor's office for my stupid back. We're discussing chiropractors and his answer as to whether they're really any good is... yes, you guessed it 'the proof of the pudding is in the eating'. I'm just like wtf mate? This may seem really stupid to non word Nazis, but I couldn't believe that I was hearing this twice. We decided that God must be telling me to go buy some pudding on the way home.

Last week I was reading Hemingway. I finished it while I was at home and had another collection of his short stories in my car that I meant to bring with me but forgot when I was hurrying. I was really bummed and was scanning the planes for left books so I wouldn't get bored on my trip. We get to the airport yesterday and as we're waiting 3 hours for the plane someone mentions their lost and found box. I asked if they had any books in there. I'm expecting these dime a dozen action thriller paperbacks. Sometimes I can suffer through them. He said that there were a few but there was only good one. And what does he bring back to me? Hemingway's Farewell to Arms. One that I was very interested in reading. This may not seem that coincidental except that never when you are actually wanting to read someone do you find their books. And a few months ago I probably wouldn't have even been interested in reading Hemingway. Anyway... it's a really good book and I'm pleased that I found it. It's the story of an American ambulance driver who is in the Italian army in WW1. He's falling in love with an English nurse. We'll see what happens...

I'm in Tulsa and have to get up at 6am but am not even tired. I took some ambien but it hasn't done anything for me. Blah. Three more legs and I'm home. Woo hoo.

I had a two hour break in Atlanta tonight and 4 of my passengers from my first flight asked me to eat dinner with them. They're 4 military types, 3 men, 1 lady, on their to Dubai and then one somewhere else for a conference. I've realized that if you're going to go on a date, the airport could possibly be the safest place ever to do it. You're always in wide open public. There's nowhere for someone to run should there be an indiscretion. If it turns out terrible it's pretty easy to lose yourself in the airport. We had a nice, fun dinner though. It's funny cause one of my friends was telling me yesterday that he views every one of my flights like playing the lottery. Every time you get a chance to have someone amazing on there. The odds are kind of like the lottery as well, but every once in a while you win and meet someone cool.

The subject is due to my love for using an i to pluralize words. It makes me happy.

You see the smile that’s on my mouth, it’s hiding the words that won’t come out

All of the great many fascinating things I have to blog about have been one-upped by the phone interview I just did. I wasn't going to write anything on here about my potential job, just because if I don't get it I'm going to be really sad, but you'd all find out anyway. We all know I can't keep my own secrets. I just did a phone interview and I feel like it was awful. One of the questions I didn't even have an answer for, and instead of saying why I didn't have an answer I just said I didn't know. I think I did really well on some of the other ones though... I guess we'll just have to wait and see. You can only expect so much from on the spot question asking. Hopefully they don't make that the be-all end-all of who I am. So far I've had one mini phone interview, filled out a ridiculous assessment, and now had this interview. Hopefully I get another one.

Other than that, I'm back at work now. I basically had 4 days off over the weekend and it was really great. I got to spend time with a lot of different friends and family. I got to have dinner with TanJoe on Thursday and hear about the honeymoon. It sounded like such a good time that I'm thinking about going on one soon. I did lots of errands. Got things taken care of, which always makes me feel good. I saw my family (well what's left of it in Georgia) a couple of times. Mrs. Fields and I made an IKEA run. I found out that one of the reasons my battery barely lasts a day is because I haven't updated it in 5 months so evidently it's still searching for towers that no longer are there. Word to you Verizon users, do your updates. It helps.

The weather has taken a sudden turn toward winter and I'm not really a fan. I actually broke out the hideous work pants for the first time since last winter. I could get another pair that looks better, but I'd really rather not buy more uniform pieces for my current job.

I'm thinking of venturing out into the great unknown of Bloomington. I have 2.5 hours left until I go to the airport and I'm kind of getting tired of breathing hot, dry air.

dreams, books, work

I just had the most bizarre dreams. I don't remember the point exactly. I just remember that we were staying in some really nice hotel. There was an old guy who seemed to have a few young black mistresses or something. There were parrot heads mounted on curved poles used to deliver messages. We were in a field and they were blowing something up so what looked like huge pieces of sidewalk kept flying up in the air. I was afraid they were going to land on my head. A friend of mine that I haven't seen in years was in the dream and we were making drinks that involved icy pops and trash bags... His adult sister was also mad cause she couldn't find all her barbie heels (for actual barbies). I also dreamed it was 8:30am when I woke up, but it was really 10am. I didn't even eat anything before I went to sleep...

I've been reading Hemingway's "Green Hills of Africa" and wonder how much a part that played in my dreams. How bizarre. I don't know if it's because of his writing skill/style, because he was a traveler or because he's in Africa, which I can actually imagine, but I find myself getting very lost in this book. It's odd to sit in the galley on the plane and read and when I stop I feel like I've forgotten where I am and what I'm doing. This is my first Hemingway, as far as I can remember, and I'm enjoying it. It's become almost a Pavlovian response that whenever I see, read, hear the word Africa Toto's "Africa" starts playing in my head. It's a good thing I like the song, otherwise I'd get really annoyed.

Other than that it's all work these days. I did a 2-day Sunday and Monday, came home, did some laundry, repacked, and am doing a ridiculous 3-day now. It's a waste of time. I'm still happy though because it isn't even the first of the month and I've already gotten 3 great swaps. I'm trying to get more hours next month and would rather maximize the days I'm already working instead of picking up extra days of work. So far I've gotten 12 more hours just by swapping. It makes me happy. I'm once again addicted to Flica, but in the long run it makes my life better, so I'm okay with it. For the first time since I started here I'm holding complete weekends off. I like it a lot :-D. I also realized yesterday that despite all that bad stuff I say and feel sometimes, I really like what I do.

Oh yeah, I got my hair cut and colored yesterday. I'm completely dark brown now. I really like it. I'm thinking about changing my color every few months. Probably just because I have short hair and I can and it makes me happy :). Platinum will be coming one of these days...

Currently reading : Green Hills of Africa By Ernest Hemingway

cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies

Just a few things I thought of...

I love king sized beds.

I'm glad the Red Sox won. Though I think the sweep was a bit anti climactic. I would've prefered a little more competition and excitement.

I like wearing jeans to work. They should give us reasons to do it more often. (This month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and on Fri, Sat, and Sun they give us the option to wear a nice breast cancer shirt and jeans.)

I talked to a Delta flight attendant tonight on one of my flights and his biggest gripe with the job was working with old people. That makes me happy. I hope that soon my biggest gripe can be the age of my fellow crew members.

The world is getting smaller. I met a guy in Florida a while back. He lives in New Hampshire. I live in Georgia. We are talking and discover that his brother lives in Portland, ME and works with my dear Mrs. White. How weird is that?

I already got one swap approved for next month. I'm going to try to work a whole lot. We'll see how that goes. Today was my first day back at work after 9 days off. I guess after I work 11 out of the next 12 days we can talk again about working extra this month.

The temperature in this room is impossible. There isn't a happy medium between hot and cold. Speaking of, I called the hotel and reported the creepy van guy.

I'm le tired.

Oh yeah, I saw a man today with white hair and the craziest, thickest black eyebrows.. I mean eyebrow. Never have I seen such a thorough and insane unibrow. I couldn't stop staring and I wanted to laugh a little :-P.

News flash: I’ll never be a doctor

I learned something new about myself today. I learned that even though my mind doesn't have a problem with blood, stitches, cuts, etc... my stomach does. And evidently it controls the rest of my body. I brought Adri home this morning. While she slept this afternoon her dressings shifted around so we took them off to rearrange them. I've never passed out before so I don't know what it feels like, but I imagine that I was pretty close. I started sweating really bad, even though I was cold, and felt like I was going to fall down. My face was also a very unattractive shade of gray. The cuts actually look really good. I hate that it bothers me, but there was absolutely nothing my mind could do to overcome my body's reaction. This also seems to be something that is worsening with age. I remember when I was little and I use to give my dad his insulin shots and let him prick my finger to test my blood sugar. I also used to get huge amounts of blood drawn on a regular basis. I don't think I could do it now.

That having been said, everything is going well here. Adri is being a really good sport and suffering well. I wish she would realize that she doesn't have to be tough and brave. She's had massive surgery and is allowed to be miserable.

It's kind of fun being up here during the world series. Everyone up here is ridiculously crazy about the Red Sox. Even the nurses at the hospital seem to have arranged their schedules so they could watch the games. They're all in their Sox scrubs with their pins and lanyards. Definitely a good, lively team spirit up here. It's infectious.

The quicker picker upper

I am now in Amherst and have just been educated in the ways of the swiffer. I'm not really sure how I feel about it.

I didn't go to work yesterday. I was pretty much lazy and did a little bit around my room. I did hang out with my family some which was nice. I learned all about the mole from Michal. It's quite fascinating. Today was evidently mole day.

I went to the library and wandered around aimlessly. The one book that I could remember that Christine recommended was not there. It wasn't even in the system. If you read my blog, even if you never comment, I want everyone to leave me a book suggestion comment. Either your favorite book or something you've read recently. I ended up checking out two by Hemingway, one by the lady who wrote "The Secret Life of Bees", and another fiction about Vivaldi.

Tomorrow morning Adri goes under the knife. She's nervous, but I know she's going to be fine. (I checked the books out cause I'm going to be spending a lot of time sitting around waiting.)

It's raining everywhere these days. It's a good thing. I got off the plane in Connecticut wearing short sleeves and flip flops and was actually hot. Not typical late October weather anywhere it seems. I'm looking forward to daylight when I can see how pretty the trees are up here.

I seemed to have skipped blogging about a lot of events lately. It isn't like there hasn't been anything going on. We had the great TanJoe extravaganza on Sunday. It was really beautiful. Good times were had by all (except all the dancing haters I suppose. We didn't want them to have fun anyway.) Most of the other stuff that has been going on in my head lately hasn't really been for public consumption.

Adri keeps thinking tomorrow is Thursday. I think she's trying to make Wednesday be over already. Guess we should get on with it.

online/ real world privacy

I'm currently experimenting with some of the privacy settings here on myspace. Yesterday I received a message from a 15yr old boy who said he was on my flight Jun 8th. I guess it was a somewhere memorable flight due to it being the inaugural SCE-ATL flight. He messaged me and I eventually found out that he had seen my pic on a fellow FA's site and recognized me. I don't mind people, even odd kids from flights I do, being able to find my page on here and reading a little about me. But I don't want them to be able to find out where I live, who my family is, and other potentially harmful info. A few weeks ago I went through my profile and removed a lot of the more personal info about me. Made it a little more general. I tend to open up too easily, which is fine within the "circle of trust" (HAHA), but outside of that I have to make efforts to be more safe and guarded. Trying to find that happy balance.

Tonight I made two photo albums. I like to have mine public in case someone is looking for me and the profile pic doesn't suffice (not everyone can recognize my toes). At the same time, my main concern for privacy on here is for others. Thus the Family/friends album. Only people I know can see that one. We'll see how this works.

I've received two more messages from weird boy.

From: Isaac
Date: Oct 17, 2007 4:07 AM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: why
Body: How are you doing?? You don't want to talk to me? :)

From: Isaac
Date: Oct 18, 2007 3:52 AM
Subject: :)
Body: So you don't even want to say hello? I'm a nice Christian guy really. You look great in the profile pic...but why did you set them to private? :(


It's quite sad and unfortunate how clueless some people are.

I also had an interesting incident with the van driver from our hotel last night coming into my room to "check on the air conditioner" and then somehow our conversation turning to what kind of wine I like, am I going to bed, and that he thought I wore thigh highs and thongs... Thanks to Peter's encouragement I continue to get more and more irritated by that and think I'm going to call the hotel about it.

I'm tired and should've gone to sleep about 2 hours ago. I'm about to get to it.

I don’t know of any songs about Virginia

I survived my six leg day. I don't know how it happened. Everything was on schedule. We did six flights in just under twelve hours. Skies were bright, fall blue and very clear. I lost my sweater in Tulsa and was shocked by the windy, cool fall weather that greeted me in Atlanta and Asheville. The first three flights of the day were a bit tough due to screaming, crying children, but somehow I managed to be the nicest flight attendant those people have or will ever have :-D. My niceness continued through the day and I had some people actually ask for my name so they could write a letter saying how fabulous I was. I think that God has really helped give me a love for the people I work with. Before I went to work yesterday I read the John Piper daily devotional (which I never do) and it was talking about loving others. "Little children, let us stop saying we love people; let us really love them, and show it by our actions." (1 John 3:18 LB) It's funny cause I had a conversation about this on Sunday with my family. I guess it isn't so much coincidence as it is reinforcement of something I need to be reminded of. I like it. I point out that I was nice, not so much to say how nice I am, but because usually after 4 legs it's impossible for me to be anything but barely polite. It was a good day.

I'm looking forward to going home. Can't wait to see the newlyweds and hear about the honeymoon. My Bonnie young sister will also be home which makes me le happy. It's going to be a busy weekend but should be a lot of fun. I'm working almost all day tomorrow for a caterer I worked for once before. Not too thrilled about working at 7am on Saturday morning but I'm really happy to have the extra money right now.

I just have to add here that this hotel is really stupid. Most hotels these days have wireless internet. Even the crappy ones in Albany, GA do. So you'd think when you stay at a nice "Resort & Conference Center" it would have it. But it doesn't. Internet connection isn't even mentioned in the guide book. I go to the front desk and ask and they say to "just plug in". But they don't have any ethernet cords at the time. I go back this morning and get one and then spend the next 30 min looking for where I'm supposed to "just plug it in". Arg... For being a business hotel it shouldn't be this difficult. Finally, an hour later I find the plug on the back of the little box attached to the bottom of my desk. Then I plug in and see that they want to charge me $9.95 to use it... So I'm billing it to my room :-P.

I had a lot more consequential things to write about but can't remember now. I say that a lot, I know. Did I mention that I'm ready to go home? We have one leg home that gets us into ATL around 5:40pm. Talk about efficient crew use... Don't get me started. Other than thinking about how efficient my company is and how cold my feet are I've been feeling very happy lately. It feels good. I feel loved and it makes me happy to love.

going to the chapel and we’re gonna get married

I have to say that despite me getting stuck with one of the yuckiest trips ever and the week getting off to a bad start I'm loving life today. I'm in the Hampton Inn in SC. There isn't anything around here and we get to stay here until 4pm. I love these hotels though. I love the king size beds. I love pistachios. I love when my family is happy. I love getting pedicures and having perfect bright red toenails.

Amie got married this past weekend. I think I'm still a little bit in denial about it. She's talked about getting married as long as I've known her so I guess it's hard to believe that it's really happened. The wedding was really beautiful, and even though I griped a lot, I was really honored and happy to be in it. The cowboy boots looked awesome (despite all my griping as well :-P). I'll see if I can get some pictures from someone and post them. I think good times were had by all. I'm really happy that she married Jay cause even though part of me feels like I've lost her, I know that in all reality things won't be that much different. I love Jay and am glad we get to keep him :-D.

It was great to see the other parts of my life present at the wedding as well - family and friends. It really makes me happy to be able to bring all my different friends and family together and for them to all become friends and family. (I wrote that thinking of them all getting along with each other, but my friends - third pair now - have literally become friends, then family. Fourth pair is already discussing their wedding reception... Haha.)

Speaking of - now we're gearing up for the great TanJoe extravaganza. It's going to be another fun weekend, despite all those who are giving her grief and being big idiots. I don't understand why some people have to make life so hard on themselves and everyone around them. It's funny how most people err on the side of going along to get along, but others - you can't get them to go along or get along for anything... I don't even want to get started on that. Off my soapbox... The weather has been amazing lately and hopefully it continues to be for another couple of weeks. October is evidently the perfect time to have an outdoor wedding in GA.

none of my exes live in texas (that I know of anyway)

Of all the places to be completely bored, I never thought it'd be the same city as one of the biggest military bases... All I have to show for today is a very sunburned right side of my body and a finished book. I guess it could be worse. I could be sunburned all over and not have read anything. Or I could've been flying 5 legs today and still be out there. They swapped my trip last minute for me yesterday so I can get off in time to go to Amie's rehearsal. It also means I don't have to do 6 flights on Thursday. That's just ridiculous. Anyway, I've made some good progress on my scheduling issues and it's only the second of the month. Amazing.

Yesterday I found out that someone I thought was 23 was actually 33. This was so surprising and changed my view of the person in such a way that it makes me wonder if age stereotyping is wrong - if in fact that's what I'm doing. I find that when I meet someone I automatically want to know how old they are. Part of it is to know what classifications they might fit in. If they've been married. How long they've been at their job. How long they should have been at their job. If they have children. I feel kind of unfair immediately wanting to know how old someone is, but at the same time, I'm not going to stop asking. If I think about it from a personal perspective, I would rather someone ask how old I am, 26, than assume I'm 22 or 23 like happens a lot, because I don't want their impression of me to be based on me being 23. I guess though, if someone is older, they wouldn't want you to view them as an "old person" based on their age instead of how they act. I don't know if this makes sense. I basically want to know if I'm a terrible person for using a person's age to form my opinion of them. I know it's only one of the many facts about a person, but I've seen lately that just that number plays a huge impact in my mind.

That's all I have for now. I'm going to put my sunburned face and pizza filled belly to bed. 5:15 is early even if it's in Central time. Oh yeah, Middlesex (it's a book)... very interesting. Very honest and a bit raw at times. Definitely one of those books that takes you to where they are. I was wondering why it was taking me so long to get through until I saw that it was 529 pages. Gives an interesting glimpse into the Greek culture and also into the life of a hermaphrodite. That plus pizza could provide some crazy dreams :-P. We shall see.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

Tonight I got home from one of those trips that felt so long that it seems like something (besides gas prices) should be different whent I get back. It was a good, easy trip. It just seemed really long. I've had really random songs stuck in my head for the last few days. Now I can't think of any of them. Last night it was a Shania Twain song, of all things, and it gave me a freaking headache. I love her that much.

Tomorrow I'm off to Amherst for the weekend. Then it's back for a crazy, ridiculous month. First weekend is Amie's wedding. The week after that I have a doctor's appointment and birthdays to think about. The following weekend is Tanya's wedding. After that it's another trip to Amherst to accompany Adri to her surgery. I think I should just be able to give all that to my job and they give me a schedule that fits neatly around it... Or not. Hopefully at some point I will also be scheduling around an interview for a different job.

I have to get up and be productive tomorrow before I go to MA so I guess this'll be it for now. I tried to be productive tonight and clean my room, but I have a hard time being motivated to make a room that I have so little attachment to anything but walkable. Maybe next time.

Oh yeah, I did see a few things in the last few days that I'd like to remember. The other day we were sitting at the airport waiting for our plane. I think it was last week in Melbourne. There was a lady with a little boy waiting to greet the plane. A soldier came off the plane and was hugging and kissing both of them. Almost immediately he took a little hat, just like his, out of his bag and put it on the little boy. It actually brought tears to my eyes to see how happy they were to see each other. It's one of those things where you feel kind of bad watching such a personal, intimate time, but at the same time I appreciate being able to watch and enjoy the love they obviously have for each other. The next thing was Tuesday night. My captain has a 5 year old boy. Tuesday night was his first football game ever and he scored a touchdown. He was talking to his son on the phone and was so happy and excited and kept telling him how proud he was and how happy he was. It reminded me of the song where they tell their children they are meant for amazing things. I can't help but think how loved that little boy must feel knowing how proud his father is of him. The last thing was last night when we went to Bloomington. There was a couple on the flight with a little girl. She looked hispanic and I don't think she spoke English. I heard them telling someone they had adopted her. I couldn't hear the whole story and didn't want to be nosy. When we pulled up to the airport there were about 40 people lined up at the window where the plane parks. They were holding balloons and signs. As the couple and little girl got off the plane they all started clapping and cheering. A few minutes later we came through the terminal past them and everyone was hugging and taking pictures. Then they all gathered around the family and started singing the doxology. It was really beautiful to hear. I nearly got a tear again just seeing the love that was there in the airport.

I'm really finished now :-P.

Helloooo Wisconsin

I feel like there is a song about Wisconsin. Can't think of it though... I have to say, I was spoiled by my trip last week. I was in the Gulf one day and the Atlantic the next. This week I'm in Appleton, WI, Baton Rouge, LA, and Bloomington, IL. It was pretty cool though - yesterday as I realized I couldn't prolong packing and getting ready to go to work any longer I got online and checked my schedule. They had canceled my first round trip. So instead of rushing into work at 1pm, I didn't have to get there until 7:35pm. Then all I did was fly up to Appleton. This is my seventh day of work out of the last eight, but I really can't complain. I had a lot of the day off on Saturday, all day Sunday, then a good part of Monday off. Also, for the most part, I've really enjoyed the people I've been working with. That makes a big difference. I met some interesting people on my trip and ran into a few that I'd met before. You know the world is getting smaller when there are several hundred thousand people going through the Atlanta airport every day and within a month you get the same person on your flight twice. And speaking of the world getting smaller, I just saw that Delta has been awarded service to Shanghai. I know that will make my life a lot easier in the future when I want to visit Israel.

Yesterday I refinanced my loan. Now I will be out of debt much earlier and since my interest rate went down by 3.25% I'll be saving a lot of money. It makes me really happy and hopeful. Debt is the devil. I can't wait to be rid of it.

I think I'm going to flatten down my hair and walk across the street to the mall. (Speaking of debt...) No, it's the only place to go around here and I can't sit in my room all day. We don't leave for Atlanta for another 3 hours.

Oh yeah, I just finished The Grapes of Wrath. It was a really good, sad book. It tells the story of a family who lived during the Great Depression and their struggles. I highly recommend it.

What not to say.

The following is some communication that I've had with a guy on here who decided to message me earlier this year. I find it to be endlessly annoying and pathetically sad all at the same time.

From: Isaac
Date: Apr 12, 2007 5:04 AM
Subject: hey
Body: Hey there, how are you? I'm a Christian too, so that's great! You look great. You should shave your head bald...you will look fantastic since you have a gorgeous face. Please tell me what you think, ok? :)

-I didn't reply because I get random messages from guys and am not interested in communicating with people I don't know. Especially ones who tell me to shave my head and think it's great we're both Christians.-

From: Isaac
Date: Apr 13, 2007 2:28 AM
Subject: hey
Body: Hey did you get my message?

From: Grace
Date: Apr 13, 2007 6:05 AM
Body: yes, but i dont' normally reply to messages on here. especially not ones telling me i should shave my head.

From: Isaac
Date: Apr 14, 2007 1:09 AM
Subject: RE: RE: hey
Body: are you upset at me?

From: Isaac
Date: Apr 24, 2007 9:40 PM
Subject: so
Body: So are you upset at me?

From: Grace
Date: Apr 27, 2007 9:51 PM
Body:no. i'd have to care to be upset.

From: Isaac
Date: May 1, 2007 5:45 AM
Body: Can you please reply to the message I sent prior to this one?

From: Grace
Date: May 2, 2007 5:48 PM
Body: which one

From: Isaac
Date: May 2, 2007 10:54 PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: so
Body: my initial one...

-ARE YOU KIDDING ME???-

From: Grace
Date: May 3, 2007 1:12 PM
Body: you need to be more specific. I don't like playing this back and forth thing.

From: Isaac
Date: May 3, 2007 5:32 PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: so
Body: well, the message where I suggested you should shave your head...

-I never replied and didn't hear from him for 3 months. Then I get this-

From: Isaac
Date: Aug 14, 2007 8:39 AM
Subject: hey
Body: Hey there. How are you? I'm a Christian too so that's nice. What denomination are you? You have a gorgeous face. Please grow your hair out longer though. It will look really nice and feminine on you, alright? :) Besides, long hair is a woman's glory. Write back.

God bless!

From: Isaac
Date: Aug 15, 2007 12:35 AM
Subject: ?
Body: Did you get my message?

From: Isaac
Date: Aug 16, 2007 4:31 AM
Subject: reply
Body: Can you please reply to my message? :)
Grow your hair out. It will look great on you too.

-First, haven't we already been here? Second, DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. Third, It will look really nice and feminine on you??? Fourth, are you kidding me?-

From: Grace
Date: Aug 16, 2007 12:17 PM
Body: Does this message sound familiar?

Hey there, how are you? I'm a Christian too, so that's great! You look great. You should shave your head bald...you will look fantastic since you have a gorgeous face. Please tell me what you think, ok? :)

Kind of like this one -

Hey there. How are you? I'm a Christian too so that's nice. What denomination are you? You have a gorgeous face. Please grow your hair out longer though. It will look really nice and feminine on you, alright? :) Besides, long hair is a woman's glory. Write back.

From: Isaac
Date: Aug 16, 2007 7:25 PM
Subject: RE: RE: reply
Body: Well the comment about shaving your head was actually a joke, alright? lol. Please write me back. Thanks.

-I hate LOLers-

From: Isaac
Date: Aug 25, 2007 11:59 PM
Subject: RE: RE: reply
Body: Please reply. Thanks! :)

From: Isaac
Date: Sep 2, 2007 5:24 AM
Subject: why
Body: Why are you not replying? :)

From: Grace
Date: Sep 4, 2007 10:11 AM
because i don't have anything to say to you.

From: Isaac
Date: Sep 5, 2007 7:17 PM
Subject: RE: RE: why
Body: but I did ask a question in the message I sent like 2 weeks ago...

-Seriously....-

From: Grace
Date: Sep 5, 2007 10:53 PM
Body: Do you not remember having this same annoying, pointless email exchange a few months ago? I obviously don't remember the question or didn't feel like answering it and you sending me these messages that say "i sent you a question 2 weeks ago" really don't help. How am I supposed to remember a question you sent me 2 weeks ago?

From: Isaac
Date: Sep 6, 2007 12:52 AM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: why
Body: Yes, you are right. You have probably forgotten by now. Well I guess I'll copy my message that was sent back then. :) Original message follows.

------------------------------------------------------
Hey there. How are you? I'm a Christian too so that's nice. What denomination are you? You have a gorgeous face. Please grow your hair out longer though. It will look really nice and feminine on you, alright? :) Besides,the Bible says long hair is a woman's glory. Write back.

From: Grace
Date: Sep 5, 2007 11:58 PM
Body: And in response to that message I sent the message you sent me a few months ago that was almost identical. I do not like your comments about my hair. I will not grow my hair longer. It's actually shorter now. I like it that way. I look very nice and feminine. I don't need hair to make me feel or look a certain way. I'm guessing you don't have much interaction with females. Good interaction anyway.

So you don't keep asking me to answer your question, I am no denomination right now.

From: Isaac
Date: Sep 6, 2007 1:22 AM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: why
Body: I am non-denominational too, but attend a Baptist church. Why don't you like my comments about your hair? That message I sent a few months ago was not really serious, like I already explained. Also, I never said that you didn't look very nice and feminine. You have a great face and I have told you that. :) Why are you thinking I said that? Your hair is actually shorter than what? Anyways, all that I said was that longer hair looks really nice and it's Biblical too. So when did you get saved? Why are you guessing I don't have interaction with females?

From: Isaac
Date: Sep 6, 2007 1:57 AM
Subject: No Subject
Body: I do think you are pretty attractive, so I don't know what you thought...:)

From: Isaac
Date: Sep 10, 2007 6:53 PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: why
Body: so...you don't want to reply to my message? Are you upset? :(
You have very nice feet, by the way.

I'm not sure why I haven't blocked this guy, except that it entertains me that someone can be this way. Anyone want to make bets about when I get the next message telling me what I should do to my hair or asking why I haven't replied to the message he sent. No, not the last message. The one before. You know, the one he sent two weeks ago?

I hope this has entertained you and if you're a man, made you feel like a Casanova because your interaction with females isn't like this.

unspiration

That's what I'm experiencing right now. Or maybe I'm just trying to keep with the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" motto. I'm feeling very imbalanced these days and it's getting old. I don't like very many things at the moment. I'm a big jerk. Oh well. Today was pretty good and then I started feeling this way again. I did have a crackacino (a 4 shot latte), which may have had something to do with the mood improvement earlier (that and mercilessly dragging Jamie around PTC running errands), but it's probably also responsible for why I can't sleep. Evidently caffiene takes about 7 hours to kick in for me. I should start drinking coffee before I go to sleep at night so it'll kick in about when I'm waking up and need it.

On a less grouchy note, the weather is fabulous. That could be the other reason I felt better. I also got to see lots of people I like tonight, but sadly it was mostly for a terrible reason. The Pollard's Granny passed away on Saturday. She was a very special lady and I'll really miss her. I know a lot of people will. I feel like myspace is a trivial place to talk about something so serious, but I guess it's part of my day and my life. I hate it for them.

I have to work tomorrow, which will either be really good cause it'll distract me from the voices in my head, or it will be really bad cause it will add more voices to the ones in my head :-P. I hope my passengers are nice and that by some miracle I feel like I got 8 hours of sleep instead of less than 5.

PS. I'm thankful Peter didn't get shot today when their stupid redneck neighbor decided to start randomly shooting into the woods while he was having a wander around. If he had gotten shot then I would've had to kill the stupid guy. Then I'd NEVER get hired by anyone else. Would've just messed everything up. :-P

This really wasn’t meant to be this long

WToday was a very difficult day full of decisions and emotions. I took a nap by the pool here in Texas and had to decide if I was going to lie on my back or my stomach. I thought I lost my contact case and lotion and was very upset. But then I found it (the emotional roller coaster!) I had to decide between lots of hot breakfast combinations. My toe hurt. It was a rough day.

We got the long day of work over with yesterday. Then I had some great seafood gumbo in Ft. Walton Beach. My pilots are really fun. They liked to make up new names for me and announce them over the PA. The thing is, they're usually names that are more appropriate for "adult entertainers" than for flight attendants. Though I've heard that there are those who do both... It's amusing though. Sometimes I can hear them laughing through the cockpit door.

I'm wondering what is a good way to express appreciation to someone you don't know. It's for a girl. I know that I like Starbucks cards, and most people I know do, but am not sure if she would.

Israel just got back from Australia. He's going to be working for an Australian company, but still living in China near where he lives now. This line from the email he sent me made me really happy "You should plan on coming down later in the fall. Also next spring we're going to go an a hunting trip in the outback. I already told them you were coming. " Woo hoo!! I'm going to Australia.

I also spoke to someone who said my desired airline should begin hiring non-language flight attendants mid October. I hope... and then I hope they hire me. They better.

I need to start heading toward bed and since the wireless sucks and the cable is a foot long, I'm pretty much glued to the desk.

Oh yeah, I can't believe I haven't blogged about this yet. Last week I flew back from Omaha. A young woman got on the plane followed by a cute little boy. They sat in row 7. This was a midday, midweek flight which usually has mostly business men on it. As I was going through checking everything I noticed that she was nursing this child. No blanket but shirt pulled down enough. Then I came back through again and saw that she had switched him to the other breast. Problem was, she never bothered to cover the first one back up and he was messing with this fully exposed breast. I was so shocked, as were most of the men around her. I asked her how old he was to find out if he was a lap child or ticketed. He was over 2. He fell asleep so I let her keep him on her lap. There was another employee traveling and I had been telling her what was going on. Then I go to the part where I had to start doing my announcement where I ask everyone to direct their attention to the front of the cabin and listen carefully. I looked at the other employee and we were both thinking "yeah right!!" and started laughing. I knew no one was going to be looking at me or listening to anything I said. I didn't know what to do. Where is the line between breastfeeding and public indecency? I also keep hearing stories about airlines getting sued because of breastfeeding issues.... BUT STILL!! There were several more times during this flight where I'd walk past and have a conversation with this lady as her entire shirt was pulled up over both breasts!! Crazy crazy crazy...

I just took an ambien since I have to get up really early and am already running on fumes. It makes me feel woozy and I might start saying things I shouldn't. So goodnight Texas!

Currently reading : The Grapes of Wrath By John Steinbeck

Callooh! Callay!

Other than the fact that I just shut my nose in the pantry door, I'm the happiest little bird right now. I've been fretting about my schedule for a few days now. I know I talk about scheduling a lot, but they pretty much rule my life. I prayed really hard all day and then finally talked to someone nice, and they swapped my trip. Now instead of getting to work at 628am and finishing on Friday after 7pm, I go in at 816am and finish early Friday afternoon. It makes me so happy. Such a relief.

Today, for the first time in a long time, I voluntarily got up before 830am. Part of it was because I had to call scheduling.. Another part was that the trash truck came by and I hadn't moved my car and was afraid they wouldn't get the trash and my whole house would hate me (it was fine). And the other part was that I've been a huge slacker when it comes to my room and doing chores lately. I had already gotten so much done by the time Radio Free Lunch came on that I felt like I had just had an extra day off :-P. In the cleaning process I found the left shoe of of one of my favorite pairs of shoes (my pointy Nine West stiletto sling-backs). I thought they were lost and gone forever so it made me happy. I still am missing another one of my shoes which really puzzles me. Maybe someone with only one leg really wanted it...

Tonight I saw my favorite baby sister play volleyball. She's a little rock star and way cooler than I could ever dream of being.

I just have to say I'm much happier now than when I woke up. It's nice to get a "yes" from God every now and then :). It's packing time.

sleepaphobia

That's what I have. I've been tired enough to fall asleep all day, yet now that I'm home and in my own bed, I'm still awake. I don't know what the deal is. My life is too busy these days. My mind won't slow down with all the things I have to do. I need to swap my trip but now they've changed the rules to make it more difficult for me. They hate me. I dreamed the other night that I got hired by the airline I want to get hired by. I was so happy and in my dream I was asking if this was a dream and if I was going to wake up and find out that I didn't really have the job... My subconscious loves to toy with me. Today I spent most of my day participating in wedding activities. First was Amie's wedding shower at her church. That was followed by a 4 hour wedding invitation session at Tanya's. I'm so tired. Not from that. Just from busyness and having fun.

I've had so many odd things happen at work lately but have been too tired or too busy to blog about them. I was on a "go to sleep quickly" roll for a while, but it seems to have left me. Also, whenever I'm really tired I think of lots of things to blog about, but when I actually sit down at the computer I can't think of them. I should make notes. Will have to work on that.

Am jealous of my fabulous older brother as he is currently interviewing for a new job in Australia. I think he'll still be living in China but will be spending time down there as well. Again, I'm jealous. Sometimes I wonder if I'm in the wrong line of work. I feel like my life is very ordinary sometimes, and that's the last thing I want. It's kind of overwhelming and amazing all at the same time how many choices we have of what to do with our lives. There are so many places to live. So many jobs to have. So much education available. I know, right now, I've chosen things that are important to me - being around my family and friends and paying off bills - and made my decisions based on those, and that's fine, but I don't want to become so comfortable that I miss out on opportunities and don't try other things.

I guess that's enough thinking for now. Maybe I'll give sleep a shot since it's nearly midnight.

PS. Between, Georgia was a great book.

Omaha... somewhere in middle America...

I wrote a blog this morning about what a nice weekend I had, blah blah blah, and there was a myspace error and it went away. Now I'm in Omaha. I'm tired. I'm irritated. I've been trying non stop to arrange my schedule around everyone else's stuff and then they keep changing things. I think I'm just going to say screw it and bid for what I want. I'm the one who has to deal with the schedules I bid for anyway. Not the people who I arrange my whole schedule for a few hours with them and then never see or hear from them otherwise... Yes, I'm irritated and probably should be sleeping and not blogging.

Work has also been an exercise in futility lately. It feels like I've spent more time sitting at the airport, riding as a passenger, or riding empty planes, than I have actually working. I've been home unexpectedly two nights lately, but I've gotten there so late everyone has already been sleeping for hours.

I need to remind myself what I nice weekend I had. I have also had to remind myself that there are lots of people I know who have regular 9-5 jobs who have less social life than I do. I just sometimes feel like entire days of my life are drifting by, spent sitting on a plane or in an airport.

I read a really cute book called "The Little Grey Men". It was recommended as a childhood favorite by a friend. It was about gnomes and woodland life and I quite enjoyed it. I am glad I'm not a gnome. Now I'm reading "Between, Georgia". I found it in the lounge but it's really good. It's crazy how involved I get in books sometimes. I guess that's why we enjoy reading. Sometimes I'll be sitting in the galley reading and when I stop I have to take a minute to remember that I'm in a metal tube flying through the sky. It's nice to be able to live a little bit of someone else's life for a minute.


Currently reading : Between, Georgia By Joshilyn Jackson

killing time.

I'm currently squatting in the jetway at the Manchester airport. It's the only place I can get consistent internet without going up into the terminal. We just had to deplane because of a minor maintenance issue. The people are thrilled. They were thrilled when they got on the plane in the first place. I love my job :-D.

It's a beautiful day to be flying... Or sitting in a jetway :). I had the weirdest dreams last night. I've noticed that I seem to have a lot of dreams about houses or homes. Last night I dreamed I was staying in this apartment with a few friends. We were all crashing on the couches and floors. One day I went upstairs and discovered this really fancy bathroom and bedroom area. Couldn't figure out why we weren't using it. It had basically a shower room so I decided to use it. I noticed lots of bugs on the walls. I figured it was because the bathroom hadn't been used much. I figured the best way to get rid of them was to spray them with shower cleaner and kill them. (It's hard to kill bugs when you're naked.) I also noticed that I had a tattoo basically all over the back of my body. The top of it was red and black. I think part of a woman or something and then the whole rest of the back of me, legs and all, was tattood black. Then I realized it was time for breakfast. I had wanted to get breakfast in the hotel since it was free and in my dream my friends had already gone somewhere else to eat. Breakfast ended at 10am and in my dream it was 9:59. Needless to say, I have weird dreams. I don't think they really mean anything. I had been thinking about Amy's new tattoo last night so maybe that's where that came from... Who knows.

I'm getting used to my new hair. I got a lot of compliments yesterday and got hit on so it must not be ugly.

The plane is fixed.

monday, monday...

Peter and I drove at least 3000 miles today. At least. And now I have dark brown/red hair. It was fun. We listened to lots of music. Peter put Beyonce to shame with his singing. We drove to Chattanooga today to get my hair done. It was fun. It's kind of a long story that starts with a passenger I met on my second trip ever two years ago. He's a stylist in CHA and does hair classes. Today's was called ForeverRed, hence the red hair. It took two times to get it right. The first time I ended up looking like a calico cat. We decided it wasn't really my style and tried again. Then we took a jaunt further north and said howdy to Joy. It's kind of funny to just drive to Tennessee for the day. Maybe not so much funny as odd. But we had a good time so it was well worth it.

The phone is ringing and I'm sleepy so I'm off.

At least it was before I had coffee

It's 4:50am on Saturday and I was doing what everyone dreams of doing at this time of day and week - getting ready for work. Doing a pretty good job as well. Showered, making coffee, putting my contacts in, packing my stuff as I go. It's a pain, but I can deal with it because I'll be home by 1pm. Then the phone rings and we've been canceled. We leave here at 3pm. Blah... Now I'm going to have to try to go back to sleep. On the up side, I'm glad they didn't wait til we got to the airport, but on the downside, it would've been nice 30 minutes ago.

This trip has been one of those trips. We're having some crew compatibility issues that I am not free to discuss on here. But we figured everything should go well today since people have to get home and have flights to make. I knew that would be too good to be true. I guess I'm going to try to sleep again.

dilemma

I'm standing in my room surveying the result of moving somewhere, leaving immediately for work, coming back, unpacking, leaving for another trip, going on vacation... I'm feeling motivated. It needs to get cleaned up and organized (I'd like to find my camera cord so I can download my vacation pictures) but I can't even figure out how to get to my closet where most of the stuff needs to end up... The obstacles that lie between it and me seem a bit insurmountable. I could take the Kathryn approach and divide the room in pieces, gradually working my way toward the closet.

It's strange that I live with six other people and last night Molly was the only other one here and today I am alone. Pretty nice. That's one of the perks of living with airline folk. If any of you ever need roommates but want to live alone I highly recommend this method. Juat ask Jamie and Jonathan's roommate.

Just wanted to say sorry to Peter for spilling the beans on his breast reduction. I'm just so excited for him :-P. I dreamed people were getting hired at the Big D. I need to be one of them. We're starting to have to serve their signature drinks on our flights and I'm not a fan. I don't want to be serving them unless I can be wearing the red dress while I do it.

Off to divide and conquer.

PS. I lost my drivers license and debit card between leaving Roya's Sunday and getting to Atlanta. The bad thing is, I'm kind of happy I have to replace my drivers license cause my picture looked so bad. Oh vanity!! Another thrilling thing I get to do today.

all things bright and beautiful

I like when good things happen to the people I love. There seems to be a dearth of goodness lately so it makes me happy to hear about job interviews, possible romances, possible breast reductions... All sorts of good fun things.

I'm home from California. It was a really good trip. I feel like I haven't been at work in ages, which I think is the point of vacation. I'm supposed to go back Wednesday but there's the possibility I'll go back Tuesday instead.

I don't really have anything to say. I'm watching Friends with Molly and that makes me happy as well.

CA wanderings

In the past 36 hours I have experienced a greater variety of temperature and terrain than I have in quite a while. I left hot, humid Atlanta yesterday am and arrived in cool, foggy San Francisco several hours later. Then within another hour I was out of the city where it was warm and dry. Today Christine and I drove from Concord to Yosemite. The variety of landscape and vegetation our here is astounding. We saw El Capitan and Half Dome. This makes me feel like I've seen a little piece of my family history as I've grown up hearing stories about these places from my father and about my grandfather. The scenery was breathtaking. I'll put pictures up because I feel that it's ridiculous to even try to explain how amazing it is.

I got out here yesterday and we spent a little while in the afternoon checking out the consignment stores around here. We went in one where you can buy Manolos for $150. USED. And they look used. It's ridiculous. We had a good time and I was once again reminded that just because it has a famous label on it or was once purchased by a rich lady DOES NOT by any means mean that it will be attractive. Very amusing.

Later we went home and made a scrumptious dinner of steak (Christine knows my heart), mushrooms, arugula salad with goat cheese, purple onions, and corn, and fried, breaded abalone that one of their friends dove for on Sunday. It was amazing, as are all Christine's meals. Even the sandwiches she packed today were interesting (in a good way). Leftover steak with onions, cheese, peppers (and I don't really even like peppers), fresh basil and arugula on some kind of cheesy bread. The moral of the story is, I hope one day I learn how to use flavors and ingredients as well as she does. Nothing is plain and everything is so good.

Now I'm le tired because it's 2am according to el body del Grace. I think it's pretty amazing that I flew across the country yesterday for nothing. It makes me happy and like my job a little more (being on vacation also helps :-D.)

...everyone should hear: you were meant for amazing things

It's funny how God has such amazing things for us, yet we choose to live our lives our own way thinking we can come up with more amazing things... We are silly, silly people. I'm glad that God is aware of our silliness and still loves us.

This is a line from one of the songs I'm playing this weekend and I really like it. It's "Umbrellas" by Sleeping at Last. It's a very beautiful, loving song.

I'm trying to think what I can do with my morning and early afternoon here in Knoxville where I won't have to look back and think that I wasted my day. I think reading falls into the not wasting time category. I'm really irritated with myself because last night, in my haste to get off the plane, I left a big bag of food I had bought for the trip. I usually don't bring stuff that has to stay cool for this exact reason. I had lunch meat, cheese, a whole bag of cherries, celery, and hummus. If there was anything else I'd rather not remember it. I hate wasting. Oh well.

I had the weirdest dreams this morning. I dreamed I paid a $600 bill for dinner. I was really worried that I didn't have enough money to cover it. That might have come from the conversations I had last night with these guys who were telling us how much they made and flashing around lots of hundreds in their wallets. I also dreamed I was visiting my grandparents and my grandpa would sneak up on the roof of their house to smoke... Which is ridiculous because as long as I can remember he's never smoked and he's very health conscious. There were more but I've forgotten them.

Yesterday was a nightmare passenger-wise. The trip didn't get off to a good start because the plane we were supposed to take to Chicago for our first round trip was very late. This in turn made us very late and made our passengers very grumpy. We had stupid non-revvers who seemed to think it was open seating and just sat in the first available seats and then got all huffy when they had to move. They were like oh, we didn't even look at our boarding passes... I'm like well, those numbers are there just for kicks... Arg. It still annoys me. This is all while we're trying to hurry back to Atlanta because we're late and people have connections. One old guy got on the plane and was like now I see why the ticket prices are so high - they're hiring fashion models for flight attendants. We all laughed - arent' you just the funniest, thankyou. Then during the beverage service he goes off on me cause we don't have any beer. Writes all this stuff down. Complains cause he's a stockholder and there should be beer on the flight. Who is responsible for there not being any beer. I try to appease him by offering him wine or a mixed drink. He informs me (because I'm a stupid idiot) that wine is not beer. There are beer drinkers and wine drinkers. All this time I'm thinking, that's funny cause the 3 other people that wanted beer were content with a mixed drink... So let's hope I don't get fired for not having beer on here. I also thought it was odd that he claimed to be a stockholder but was complaining about the price of tickets... That is just a sample of what we dealt with yesterday. Sometimes I love people so much I want to squeeze them... to death :-P.

I'm going to go enjoy my music, my tortillas and tuna, and a book. Hopefully today's passengers will be friendlier and I don't leave anything else important on the plane.

Don't ever forget that you were meant for amazing things.

too lazy for subjects

I am currently listening to two songs on repeat. I hope no one else in the house can hear me cause I think they would be really annoyed, but this is what I have to do when I'm trying to learn a song that I don't have music to. I can make up something but only once the song is in my head. I'm playing two songs in Amie's little sister's wedding on Saturday. As of this morning I'm actually going to be off for it, which is pretty cool. I have to work at 4:30 tomorrow afternoon and get home around 10pm on Friday night. Then my vacation starts :). Woo hoo!!

I feel like I need two consecutive days at home. One to do nothing like I'm doing right now, and one to get all the things done that I need to get done. This room that I now live in is a mess. I haven't found places for everything yet. I still have stuff piled in the garage to sort and put away. And I'm doing nothing. Oh well. It's also incredibly hot everywhere, including my room, which doesn't really motivate me to do anything. I might take a nap. I got dropped off here at about 2:30 this morning after visiting Joy, but because I had a lot of caffiene to stay awake driving back I couldn't go to sleep til almost 4. Then I got up around 10:30. I've discovered another annoyance about my room. People seem to like to tap dance on the floor above me while I'm sleeping. Not very nice in my book. Oh yeah, I think I'm going to have to give up shaving because this shower is about 2 feet square. I tried to shave in there the other day and I think it's humanly impossible.

Nap time.

live from Chicago

I'm not sure how this is working but I managed to get online even though it said it was going to charge me $9.99... So far so good.

I finally have a trip where I don't have to duty in at 515 every morning. It's been nice. The part that hasn't been nice is that I've been feeling like my job has become my life. More than once lately I've found myself wishing I had a job where I was at home every night so when my friends and family want to spend time with me I can do it. I feel like I'm missing out on so many important things. I've already been feeling detached and now I'm wondering if it's my fault. Maybe I've become a bad/unavailable friend and not realized it. I've been upset at times because people that I thought I was close to don't seem to act like I am, but maybe I'm never around when they need me... I have no intentions of quitting my job. I'm just looking forward to when I have a more regular schedule. The last few weeks have been crazy. I've only had two out of the last fifteen days off, which is never good for my sanity. Also, the whole moving thing has taken up a lot of physical and emotional energy.

Then on the other hand, because of my job I get to see other friends of mine more than I would without. I got to see Amy and Shane Thursday night and Friday morning, which was really fun. I don't know... I think I just need a break. I've had to turn down a lot of invitations to get together lately and it's really bothering me. I'm afraid that if I say no too many times people will stop asking. If I'm not around enough people will adjust and no longer notice I'm not around. It's not like I haven't been doing this for the past 2 years, but still...

I'm sitting here in my hotel in Chicago. Problem is, we're actually pretty far out in the suburbs so there isn't anything to do around here. Last night when we flew in it was really pretty though. I could see the skyline along the lake and golden grid of streets. It's a huge city. The passengers we've had these past 2 days have been unbelievably high maintenance. Some have been fun. Some have been really annoying.. It's all good.

And I'm going to see Joy tonight, which always makes me happy.

new empty spaces

I just spent my first night in my new room. My family and J helped me move all my stuff yesterday and last night and M&M's garage is now half full of my junk. I can't believe how much stuff I have. A lot of it is to be gotten rid of, but I still have a lot. The room has a huge double window which makes me happy. The closet is about 1/3 the size of my last one though, which doesn't make me happy. The girl that lived in here before me just came and got the last of her stuff so I'm going to see if I can make it look like a room in here. Should be jolly good times. I know you're all jealous.

ATRs and the Pacific

Oh yeah...

I'm not sure if anyone else will think this is funny, but it made me laugh so hard I want to write it down so when I need something to laugh about I can remember it.

Yesterday, probably on the fourth leg of our five leg day I was sitting in the galley trying to stay awake. We had been hoping all day that we'd get canceled or switched to something more fun than a short overnight in Baton Rouge. Ryan (the other flight attendant) comes up to me and says that they've switched us (Woo hoo!!) We're going to Tokyo Narita.... on the ATR. I'm a little slow at this point so it takes a minute for it to register and I realize he's lying. He says, yes, it will take us nine stops (It'd actually take a lot more than that). We have to re-fuel going across the ocean. We'd land on an aircraft carrier, fuel up, take off, then fly til we caught up with the aircraft carrier again, then re-fuel again. The mental picture, and the sheer stupidity that would be involved in a mission like that made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my seat. It still makes me laugh when I think about it.

This is why work this month has been so fun. Plus the whole Key West thing...

After filling out one of these bulletin questionaires I was curious enough to find out the farthest place I've been. It seems that Budapest, Hungary is a mere 5500 miles away, Fenghua, China is 7509 miles away and Jeffrey's Bay, South Africa takes the cake at 8977 miles away. I have to say that with all that it took for us to get there (did I mention driving 500 miles across South Africa's Transkei with my ex future mother-in-law?), that place does seem the farthest.


Currently reading: Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons: A Novel By Lorna Landvik

a sunny Manchester day

I have nothing fantastic to blog about. I'm bored, tired, and grouchy. My reasons for being so aren't really that good either. I just am. I'm lonely but too grouchy to really be around or talk to anyone either, yet being by myself makes me grouchier.. It's a vicious cycle :-P.

It was nice to have a break from watching Flica all the time and hoping for trades and swaps... This was the first month in a year that I haven't swapped everything around. It's been a nice month of work. I'm going to miss my crew. They've been great. Next month I don't like my schedule as much, plus I have vacation so I'm trying to swap everything around. I wish I didn't have any bills. Otherwise, I'd take my potentially 14 days off and go somewhere exotic. I might still do it anyway. It's been way too long since I went far far away. I've gotten so comfortable in where I am that I can hardly remember the person who got dropped off on the side of the highway in Hungary. I think one reason I'm remembering that person again is because it seems that so many of the things I've been comfortable with have changed.

I spent my last night in our apartment on Friday night. It was uneventful. I made about 15 trips up and down 3 floors of stairs with half my stuff. If you thought moving was awful, try moving by yourself. It rocks my face off. I still have to move some stuff when I get home on Tuesday but hopefully it won't take long. I was looking at the pile that I'm making in Matt and Molly's garage and wondering what the heck all that stuff is. I'm pretty sure all I moved was my bathroom stuff, clothes, and bedding and it seems like so much. I'm moving into a smaller room with a much smaller closet so this should be interesting. I'm ready to have my stuff settled in again.

I'm going to go wander around and see if some vitamin D will improve my mood.

the thing to do

Everyone seems to be blogging about change these days, so I'll join the club. Partially because I'm thinking about it and partially because I'm using it as a delay technique.

I'm sitting on the floor in my room. It's the only room in our apartment that seems remotely normal. The only one that has furniture left in it. My Porsche poster is still on the wall but my shelves have been taken down. I was reminded yesterday as I unscrewed them from the wall of what a pain they were to hang. It was a "I don't need any stupid men" project. I did pretty good building them. Didn't need any stupid men to help me with that part. But then I found out that it's kind of hard to hang a shelf on your own. Managed the bottom one using my shoulder as a third hand, but ended up having to get Tanya to hold the other end while I screwed them in.

I think I'm not so much in a sentimental mood as in a I hate moving mood. I have to leave for work in a little over 12 hours and when I get back on Tuesday I'll have another 8 to move my stuff. I should get a move on (no pun intended - though that is a good one :-P).

I'm moving into the Jones household for the time being. I don't know how long that will be. I have other stuff to figure out before then. But for now it's cheap, convenient, and my landlords are pretty awesome. Some of the others living there... not so much awesome, but it'll do for now.

I wish that I had made time to blog about my last trip cause it was awesome and now I'm starting another one and it's getting further in the past. I'm still catching up on my sleep. I visited two beaches in two days. I found out that a good way to feel good about your body, pretty much regardless of the shape it's in, is to go to the beach in New Hampshire. That was the first time I've been to a New England beach and the water was cold, but it was amusing, and we had lobster afterwards. I had no idea Manchester was so close to the beach. The next day we were in Key West which was awesome as well. It was much, much hotter so I spent most of the day in the pool and my entire face and part of my shoulders have now peeled as a result. It was good fun and we met some crazy passengers from Boston who were fun to hang out with.

I have too much to do so I'm ending this now. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

I am le tired

I don't have my contacts on and can't be bothered to get my glasses out so this may contain typos. I'm in Baton Rouge. I am very tired. I've been reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" which makes me think, and I've also just been thinking a lot. Remembering mostly. Today I brought green beans to work as a snack. It reminded me of my Madrid exodus with Elizabeth. I basically took everything out of the frig that wouldn't last until Marikay got back. Then when we got to Barcelona early in the morning and were lost and hungry we ate tomatoes like apples and green beans like... twizzlers?? I quite like them that way. I like crunchy foods a lot, hence my love for chips and cheetos. The crunchiness of the beans helps satisfy my desire for crunchy junk. But in a much healthier way. I also talked to Leslie the other day. She was another important part of my time in Madrid. It's funny cause this is about the time I was spending time with them. Crazy how memories seem to pop up from nowhere and then you realize it's the anniversary of the memory making. (Would that be the memory's birthday?)

This was a busy week. I thought I had blogged but evidently not. I'm back at work and had a long day. It didn't help that it was preceded by a short night. We're back down to Key West on Monday. We had a great time last week and I'm really looking forward to going back. And then again next Monday. Woo hoo. Thankfully I'm not working every Sunday next month. So far it looks like Wed-Sat.

I went to the doctor this week about my back. It's been hurting for over 3 weeks now. Making life in general a pain in the baaack. He said to take 3 ibuprofin 3 times a day for 5 days. I took them yesterday and this morning and felt like I was going to throw up all day so I stopped. I also got xrays done. Hopefully they don't find out anything weird like I have a hair growing in my spine...(Weird story I heard recently. Can't remember where.) Also got a prescription for Ambien, under whose influence I'm writing this. I'm expecting my eyelids to zip closed any moment and I pass out. This may seem early, but I have to be up at 425am and for the sake of my crew I need to get some sleep.

I'll try to write something less random tomorrow in NH. Don't count on it though...


Currently reading: Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson By Mitch Albom

stories dont mean anything when youve got noone to tell them to

I finished work today before noon. It was nice, except that I started at 530 this morning. The bulk of our work was done yesterday, and amazingly enough, all on time, all without swapping planes. We were supposed to go to Baton Rouge last night but right when we came in from our previous trip they switched us to Knoxville. Was a nice change since it's only a 26 minute flight and I was able to be in bed at 8pm. Our flight back to Atlanta this morning left at 615 so we were back in the lounge by 7am. Whenever I finish a flight I always turn on my phone and check for messages and to see if anyone loves me. I was a little disappointed this morning until I realized that most normal people were still sleeping.

Now I'm in Manchester, NH and not sure what I'm going to do with the day. I need to go check out the gym facilities here. I want to take a nap but am afraid if I do I won't be able to sleep tonight. I love Hampton Inns. The Hilton we stayed in last night was also very nice. This one even has a microwave and frig. Good times. I'll eat my leftover rice, chicken, and squash from Friday. Oh yeah, you know you're up north when your hotel room ac is automatically set on 66. It's in the upper 70s here and they're all roasting.

Kathryn came over on Friday and helped me eliminate a whole lot of junk from my life. I had no idea it would feel so good to take a 3 drawer plastic storage container and throw the whole thing (full) into the dumpster. I think she should work on one of those tv shows that helps people restore order to their houses. She's awesome :). Every few days now I go through my closet and get rid of more clothes as well. I'm becoming less emotionally attached to my stuff, which is good for me. I have an especially hard time with things people gave me, but I figure if they love me and want me to happy they won't care if I don't keep their gift my whole life. Clutter seems to affect me a lot emotionally so it's good to be able to eliminate some. The fact that I still don't know where I'm moving is also a good incentive for keeping less things. I thought I had it all worked out, but evidently the offer had been made (repeatedly) without actually thinking about it.... Good times. So back to the drawing board. I don't know how much disappointment I can handle in one month.

I think I'm going to get off the bed. Maybe that will help me stay awake - especially since these beds are so comfortable.

Oh yeah, the highlight of my day yesterday was transporting the Argentinian National Rugby Team from Pensacola to Atlanta :). I felt really bad for them because they didn't fit very well on our plane but they sure were fun to look at. Seriously, what part of spending time with 18 muscular Argentinian IN SUITS wouldn't make a girl happy?

PS. This is my 200th post.


Currently reading: The Case for Christ: A Journalist's Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus By Lee Strobel

Last day of freedom

I woke up a little while ago and realized I have to be back at work in less than 24 hours. This kind of sucks because I feel like I haven't gotten anything done on my off days.

I had weird dreams this morning. I dreamed I was supposed to go to Germany for vacation but couldn't remember when the trip I was doing ended so I wasn't sure if I could make the flight. Then it started snowing (during summer I'm assuming). There was some big group of people and I think they were trying to sing "My Country Tis of Thee" but they couldn't stay in one key, so the director guy asked if anyone could stay in one key. I said I could and he made me sing it by myself in front of everyone. Reminded me of one of my classes in college. But then I couldn't remember the right words so I just made ones up... This whole time I'm going around trying to find a computer to find out when I have to fly.

So now I'm awake and realize I have a ton of laundry to do and need to get a lot more stuff packed. I just looked at my schedule and somehow I only have 4 days off between now and the end of the month, which means I have to get all my packing to prepare for storage finished by then. My packing guru and friend, Kathryn, has deemed my case worthy of her assistance and will be coming over in a while. I need to get some laundry going in the meantime.

Yesterday was a lovely day. I did some random stuff around the house and then my Mama and Michal came over. We ate lunch and went swimming. It was good fun and nice to be around them.

Last night I went to the gym with Molly but did the bike instead of running cause my back still hurts. It makes me really frustrated at myself when I think of how much money I've wasted not going. I wish I was one of those people who just loves it. Though I have failed and been a slacker I'm still not giving up. My mom brought me squash from their garden, grapes, bananas, and cherries, which really helps when I'm trying to eat healthier. I had two yummy meals yesterday.

Guess I should go do laundry. Woo hoo!

she said it's cold outside and hands me my raincoat

I'm very pleased to be writing this from my very own apartment. I only have 20 more days to call it that, but the huge cockroach that I killed in here last night helped me be less sad about that.

I think I need about a month off from work. The trip this weekend was a little, actually a lot disappointing. My 33 hours at Ft. Walton Beach didn't even come close to happening. I think that God is trying to teach me something through disappointment. I'm not sure what though. I don't deal with it very well. It's hard for me to know what to do because the guy I was flying with kept being all optimistic about things working out, but I can't do that because the more I looked forward to something working out, the more upset I was when it didn't. I don't want to become cynical or a pessimist, but I can't handle disappointment.

We did finally make it to Key West for a short night there. It was really nice to walk on the beach and eat shrimp. I look forward to going back there every Monday this month, but at the same time, I don't want to look forward to it too much cause then if it doesn't happen I'll be really disappointed.

I did get to see my family on Sunday cause we got stuck in Atlanta for 5 hours. That was a definite plus.

I just ate some food that was in the frig. I'm not sure where i came from, and now I'm not sure if eating it was such a good idea.

I have so many things going on in my head right now. So many decisions to make. So many things that I don't know what to do with. I look forward to when things settle down again.

It's starting to storm outside which makes me kind of happy. I like the sound of rain.

It's Friday and I didn't even know it

This whole week of not doing anything has really confused me schedule-wise. I just talked to Angela. She's driving over here to go to dinner and was saying she should be on time, but she isn't sure. I was like well the traffic shouldnt' be too bad. It was fine on I-85. She said 85 isn't usually the problem. That it's usually around 285 and I-20. I said, well since it's Saturday there really shouldn't be that much.... It still makes me laugh.

My mother got home from China today. FINALLY. It's been a ridiculous mission but it sounds like she still made the most of her extra time there. It was really good to see her. It's nice to be able to go back to the terminals and meet people. I'm proud of all the adventuring she's done. Especially considering that she's never been off the North American continent until now. China is not an easy place for beginner travelers but she did just fine.

I'm about to go meet some of the girls at Mt. Fuji. I love that place. I've eaten out way too much this week and my stomach is hating me for it. But I'm not going to stop. Last night we had Thai food and it was sooo yummy.

I feel better in some ways than I did at the beginning of the week, but some things haven't changed. I'm still not sure where I'm going to live at the end of the month. I have options, it's just the uncertainty and lack of truly pleasant options that is getting to me. I've been the biggest, grouchiest complainer all week. I can't remember the last time I was this unpleasant :-P. Good thing I have patient friends.

It's back to work tomorrow and I think it will be good for me. I need to get my mind on something else and get out of my house. My cousin Susan came up on Wednesday and we've had a really nice visit. She's a good distraction ;). Tomorrow night I'll be in Ft. Walton Beach and don't leave until Monday morning. Then Monday afternoon I end up in Key West. A flight attendant called me yesterday and asked if I'd switch my trip with hers because her husband is the captain on mine. It sucks cause ordinarly I wouldn't mind since I know her and she's really nice, but this trip is the whole reason I picked this stupid working every weekend schedule, so there's no way I'm giving it up.

My back is still killing me. Maybe some time lying in the sand will help. Now it's moving up to my neck. I am definitely getting old. The scary thing is, all the men that seem to want to talk to me lately are getting even older... That's a whole other story. I'm off to enjoy my Saturday/Friday night :-P.

we're all getting old

It's the fourth of july. Happy birthday America. I'm not feeling very patriotic today. I'll have to work on it. I am wearing blue pj pants and a white shirt. Just need something red and I'll be about as patriotic as you can get :-P.

I think I'm getting old. My vision is failing. My back hurts and I can't seem to figure out why or what to do about it. It hurts to tie my shoes, to laugh, to step into clothes, to pick anything off the floor, to sit up... And poor Tanya has to listen to me whine about it.

I don't have anything interesting to write about. I need to go make my room walkable since I'm having company. Then I'm going to go work on my tan and be lazy all day.

grumblings

I'm not a happy camper right now. My mom is stuck in China. I want her back. We all want her back. I feel like it's my fault but there isn't any way I could've known this would happen. It's such a frustrating, stupid, ridiculous, unreasonable situation. Also, my heart is broken. Only for the millionth time. I want it fixed and never to break again. But then again, who ever really wants their heart to break in the first place? Why am I so stupid as to put myself in a situation where I know I'm going to end up like this? I am not at work, which actually makes me happier than if I were, but I'm very unhappy with my company right now. If I were an impulsive person I might have quit my job tonight. I just felt that irritated with it all. I think this is all pay back for the last several depression-free months. I find myself more upset over things than I would normally be. Or that's how I feel anyway. I also found out that the new charger was supposedly delivered on 6.28. Hopefully it was delivered to the office here and they just didn't bother letting me know. Would've been nice to have a few days ago.

I need to find the off switch for my brain. I want to sleep and not have the bad dreams I've had the last two nights. It's amazing how much dreams can affect your waking self. Today I found myself nearly overwhelmed by fear that these dreams brought on me. I don't like it and had to keep reminding myself that fear is not from the Lord. It helps me understand people I know who are sometime debilitated by what, at the time, seem like silly fears to me.

I've been told several times lately that I need to find a new job. I didn't get the one I was wanting. Found that out on Monday via email. I haven't given up on it though. Just need to try a different avenue. I don't think I want to be a flight attendant for the rest of my life but I'm not ready to give up flight benefits. I think I just need to work for a different company. Tonight, instead of finding someone to cover the overnight they assigned me (mine got canceled) and let me come back in the morning after I felt better my company chose to mark me sick for the rest of my trip. There is no helping anyone out. It's a much longer story than that but makes me mad to think about it. Now I'm off til Saturday. I'm glad cause I need a break from all the madness. I'd like to work for a company that actually cares about me, if that even exists. I need to start writing or doing something else.

I found out yesterday that I have been seeing 20/40 out of my left eye. I must be getting old. At least it's corrected now.

I also signed up for my 401k yesterday. It makes me feel like I'm getting old but in a good way. I should've done it a long time ago, but at least I'm enrolled now.

I had one of the San Antonio Spurs in my front seat the other day coming back from Nassau. He was traveling with his wife. Didn't know he played for them til after he got off and my captain recognized him. Don't even know his name. They were really nice though and we talked for a while. I also rode next to an NFL player last week coming back from Adri's. Didn't know who he was either til I asked him about his ankle (was swollen from surgery which led to conversations about injuries, football, etc...). He used to play for the Giants. I wonder how it makes them feel that I have no idea who they are. Ha

Things are shaping up on the home front. I have one roommate and now we are looking for a third person, since that will be the cheapest option. Now I just need to throw away everything I own so I can start from scratch when I move at the end of the month. I will definitely have plenty to keep me busy this week.

I think I'll try sleep again. Hopefully tomorrow I won't be running on battery power anymore and can keep up with the online world a little better. I feel so out of the loop :-P. This is a lot of disclosure for a myspace blog, but I know that people who love me read it and I need to share.

Why I haven't been blogging

My laptop charger has ceased to charge so I have very limited access to the internet. I'm supposed to be getting a replacement (evidently my laptop is still under warranty - good to know) but it has yet to arrive.

I have been traveling hither and yon and want to be home for a minute. Well more than a minute actually.

More to come soon when I get my charger.

Randomness from Alexandria

That's Louisiana for any of you who thought I might be in a cool town...

I misbid next month. I am supposed to work every Sat-Tues. The upside of it is I'm scheduled to spend a great deal of time at the beach. hmmm...

I arrived into my hotel room at 207 local time. A mere 4 hours late. Welcome to summer time in Atlanta. The plane we were supposed to take to Moline at 350 got diverted to Savannah while coming in from Baton Rouge and didn't even land until after 7.

I witnessed the Braves beating the Red Sox last night. It was a quite enjoyable experience. I did that after spending pretty much the entire day at the pool. Also an enjoyable experience. Yay for Molly's birthday and for J having a whole day off from flying and his other job.

I think there is a rule that if I have a good looking passenger he must have a baby and/or attractive wife in tow.

My nose itches really bad.

I have had lots of offers for places to live and a potential roommate situation come up. Still no clue what I'm actually going to do.

Peter is the best little brother ever. Who, when they offer to bring you lunch to "use up lunch meat in the frig" brings mac'n'cheese, sandwiches (toasted bread, lettuce, tomato, mayo, mustard, meat, and cheese), the only sweet tea in the world that I like in a big jar, yogurt, and cookie dough (not for cooking. just eating.)? It was very yummy and also great because I haven't had a chance to have a meal since then.

I got my hair cut today which always makes me happy. Nothing like a fresh, short cut and a visit with Faith.

I have sufficiently unwound and must sleep now.

expired food

The yogurt I just ate is a month past it's expiration date and the chocolate milk I'm drinking is 12 days past. Mmmm... They both taste fine though.

I'm finally home from the trip I thought would never end. And I came home to an empty apartment. I hate it. Amie moved out while I was gone and Tanya is in Texas. It makes me ridiculously sad to have Amie gone. Jonathan gave me a ride home last night and I think he thought I was going off the deep end... I don't like that Amie won't be coming in my room in the morning anymore or noticing the little things about me that noone else does. (Who else will tell you they like waking up and just knowing you're in the next room?) I don't like that the only person who got really, really excited when I was going to be home is gone. I don't like that our apartment will no longer be the fun place to hang out. It'll be the empty place. I had dreams last night about moving. Still not sure where though. Dreamed that the complex here was trying to make us stay. Ha! I know I'm probably being a little dramatic cause she isn't moving to the moon or anything, but things are changing and it's happening a lot faster than I'm prepared for and it makes me really sad.

I'm going to the gym. I don't feel like it but I need to. I don't see how I couldn't have lost weight this week. All I've been eating is dried fruit, real fruit and other healthy things. I did have chicken nachos one night and Taco Bell last night... We'll see.

Yesterday I fell in love

With Burlington, VT. I had the pleasure of spending a night and most of a day there and discovered that it was a beautiful, charming little town. The weather was perfect (though I was told it's only that way about 4 months out of the year). It began on the way up when it seemed that my two front seat passengers worked for the BTV chamber of commerce. They seemed to think that it's the best city anyway. They told me lots of places I had to see and things to do. It's nice to meet people who love their home so much.

Wednesday night Adri drove from MA to Burlington to see me. I personally think she was crazy to do it, but I appreciated it so much. It made me feel special. It was awesome to see her. The next day she had to go back to work so I walked back down to the town. The weather was perfect and beautiful. There's a street that's blocked off to traffic and just has shops and restaurants on it. I just wandered around there. Ate Chinese dumplings from a stand, walked to the water front, went shopping, ate icecream. It was generally a very lovely day. When I grow up and am rich I might by a summer house up on Lake Champlain and spend my days wandering through the little towns :).

Today is the last day of my trip. I don't know if it's because I did a dayline before I started this trip, but it seems like it's lasting forever. I have 3 legs today and am supposed to finished at 830 tonight. I have little confidence in that though considering that 4 out of my last 4 days of work have ended anywhere from an hour to 2.5 hours late. Wish me luck, or good weather, or whatever.

Right now I'm in Northwest Arkansas. We're supposed to leave here in about an hour and I've officlally done nothing with my morning. We got in really late last night and it took me a while to wind down so I had to sleep til almost 11 to get close to 8 hours of sleep.

I hope everyone is having a fabulous Friday.

mass confusion

Seems to be the Atlanta airport lately. Last night, once again, it took us a ridiculous amount of time to go from the gate to the air. An hour and a half to be exact. It also makes me a little confused about the way God blesses us. On Monday when I made up the time I would've lost by swapping while we were sitting on the ground I thought it must be God. One of my friends argued though that if God made it rain so I would get paid more was He also making it rain to mess up other people's plans. I'm confused. Now I'm wondering if this is simply a matter of the sun shining on all and the rain raining on all. It's weird when you are benefiting from someone else's misfortune. (Let me insert here that the only time I really benefit from people's misfortune at work is when we are sitting on the plane for ridiculous amounts of time. That's the only time I'm actually getting paid.) But then I thought about how many other people/profession make their business from other's misfortune. Do construction people consider it a blessing from God when a disaster takes place and they have more work to do? I have no answers and now I'm even more confused.

Last night we got to White Plains, NY at 1:20am. Made it to bed around 2:20. Our driver to the hotel seemed like he was asleep. I was a little concerned. Now I have managed to sleep most of the morning away. I don't think there's much else to do around here. Our second flight once we get to Atlanta is already delayed 2 hours. No idea why. This is not a good sign.

Things are changing. Evidently Amie moved out yesterday. Makes me really sad. I feel like another chapter is ending. In my head I know this means another one will begin but right now I'm just a little sad about it.

I found a flaw with my phone. It holds very few text messages. I had gotten used to my old phone that never filled up. And at the rate that I text this could get annoying. We'll see. I like it otherwise but I'm all about my texting so we'll see. I'm going to see if there's anything to do around this hotel. All I see is trees but maybe there's something hidden away.

bad/good

My mother has just set sail back across the wild blue yonder but without me this time. It kind of makes me nervous. I think this must be how parents feel when they send their children off into the great unknown without them.

I'm starting another 4 day trip today. On paper it looks good. We'll see how it goes. It looks like I'll have a hodgepodge of pilots. Sometimes that's good cause if one of them sucks he'll be gone in a day or so, but it can also work the opposite way.

As I mentioned the other day, I switched my Sunday dayline for one on Monday. I was talking to my FO on Friday and he was saying how glad he was to finally have Sundays off so he could go to church. It made me feel bad and realize that I had voluntarily decided to work on Sunday, even though I'm trying to go to church more regularly. It's also the main day I get to spend with my family and I hate to miss that. It's just an all round good for my heart day. When I decided to swap though, I realized I'd lose almost 1.5hrs of time. I figured though, if I do what I know God would want me to do, then He'll take care of the rest.

So yesterday I went to work. I got up really late and had a hard time waking up so I was grouchy (again). We went to Talahassee and back, then headed off to Wichita. On the way back we were doing pretty good except they slowed us down a little. We landed about 7 and then just sat on the runway. Evidently there had been some weather drama that had clogged the airport up. At one point I went up in the cockpit and counted 26 planes sitting on the taxiways around and in front of us. So we ended up getting to the gate at 8:15. Since it took us all that time I ended up making the same as I would've made on Sunday, plus 6 minutes :-P. Contrary to what some may say, I don't think God made the weather and clogged up the airport so I'd get more money. I just know that I'm really glad I made the decision to trust God and swap. I would've rather gone home on time yesterday, but that's life in the airlines right?

Oh yeah... I think I have the worst phone luck. Yesterday when we were flying to Wichita I pulled the ice bucket out from its space. Right over the counter is a cubby where I put things during flight. I had a magazine and some random stuff in there. There's also a drain to the side which you can put things in when you don't want them to slide off the counter during take off. I moved my phone from the drain to the cubby because I had to drain all the water out of the ice bucket. Almost immediately after I placed it there it slid off into the bucket of water........ I gave it to the pilots to put on their dashboard to dry. It still worked when I turned it on later. Then when we got to Atlanta I bent down to unhook the handrails so they could bring the ramp up and it fell out of my pocket, onto the side of the door and onto the ground... I don't know what my problem is. All I kept thinking when this was happening was, I'm so glad my new phone didn't get here when I wanted it, otherwise that would've been it. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I HAVE to figure out a way to take better care of this phone. I love my new phone. It makes me happy. My perfume and the books came today as well which also makes me happy.

I think that's all I have for now. I should go pack for work.