I just saw the Holiday Inn Express ad with the party clown who thinking he could be a rodeo clown because he had stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. Evidently there is a pilot one and that reminded me of this: The other day we were flying from San Antonio to Salt Lake City. I was in the back jumpseat and some guy was talking to me. He was joking cause somehow he found out we stayed at the H.I.E. the night before. He was asking if I was sure they were real pilots. I told him yes, we had been flying together for several days. Then at the end of the flight we were about to land in SLC, headed down to the ground, and suddenly we were headed the other way. Back up into the sky we were just leaving. Everyone was looking at me and asking what was going on. I'm like, how the heck am I supposed to know??? Do you see me up in the cockpit?? Then the guy next to me was like, are you sure they're really pilots? Turns out some other plane was taking too long to get off the ground and they told us to abort the landing. It was a really strange feeling though, heading down, then heading just as steeply back up. Not a sensation I've experienced while working so far. It happened once when I was a passenger going into Denver but it was cause of turbulence so you could figure out what was going on. Kind of a funny coincidence that that happened on the same flight we had the conversation questioning our pilot's validity.
After that our aborted landing, I started doing what I'm assuming a lot of people do, which makes them afraid to fly. I started thinking about what could really happen and what it would be like if something bad happened. I'm still not scared but am aware what is and what isn't healthy for me to dwell on. Then that night, as I flipped through the channels trying to find something to lull me to sleep, I found a show about a plane crash. Cheerful huh? It's still not something I worry about. People don't drive around worrying about car wrecks. I hate to think that it would ever happen to me, and the odds are really low, but I like to think that I could handle it if it did. And if I didn't make it, then I'd be dead so I wouldn't care anyway :-P (The philosophy my father dearest and I used to harp on whenever we thought of doing something awful that would kill us.) Anyway, I don't think worry is healthy. There are so many bad, awful, painful, gruesome things that can happen to us on a daily basis, but you will seriously going insane if you think about them.
Paul told the Phillipians "Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things." I believe that God knows best, and He doesn't want me thinking about dreadful things, so I'm not going to.
The whole Holiday Inn Express thing was really funny though.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Shower drops on my shoulders make me happy
Van Morrison on an overcast day... I'm just asking to be depressed aren't I? :-P
Did I ever mention how much I enjoy showers. I was just thinking how they're probably one of my favorite things. Sometimes it's even nice to let yourself get a little dirtier than usual, just so you can really feel the good goodness of being clean. There's nothing quite like a hot shower to wash off all the grease and grime of life. Nothing like standing in the shower and listening to loud music. Talk about multitasking. You can sing, scrub, shave, and think all at the same time. It's one of my most enjoyable solitary times. It's a great place to cry if you need to. No need to dry tears up or worry about someone seeing you. After the shower is over you'll look as good as new and most probably feel as good as new. Some people like baths for relaxing but I never feel clean afterwards, unless I take a shower and by the time I've taken a bath I usually feel so tired and I can't bother to shower. In my opinion, sitting in a shower is more relaxing than sitting in a bath. Something about the running water, constant cleaness... Who knows. Maybe it has something to do with how much I like the rain. I don't know if it's normal to sit in a shower, but when I'm all by myself in the shower social norms aren't really my biggest concern. Good times. I'm quite picky about showers as well. Nothing like a shower with no water pressure. Or the water going cold mid-shower. A cold shower is nice in the summer sometimes but it needs to be a self imposed cold shower. I can't think of anything worse than starting off your day with a miserable cold shower. Showers help me clean my body and clear my head. I recommend them highly. I never really feel like my day has begun until I've had one.
We left rainy Spokane early, early this morning and are now in gloomy St. Lous. Tanya called me to say she is going out to the pool and Peter wrote and said it's 96 down there. I wish I was there. It's good for me to be gone though. As week of silence is a long time so it's good to keep my mind occupied with other things. My crew is a lot of fun. The other flight attendant is really cool and the pilots are silly men/boys.
Did I ever mention how much I enjoy showers. I was just thinking how they're probably one of my favorite things. Sometimes it's even nice to let yourself get a little dirtier than usual, just so you can really feel the good goodness of being clean. There's nothing quite like a hot shower to wash off all the grease and grime of life. Nothing like standing in the shower and listening to loud music. Talk about multitasking. You can sing, scrub, shave, and think all at the same time. It's one of my most enjoyable solitary times. It's a great place to cry if you need to. No need to dry tears up or worry about someone seeing you. After the shower is over you'll look as good as new and most probably feel as good as new. Some people like baths for relaxing but I never feel clean afterwards, unless I take a shower and by the time I've taken a bath I usually feel so tired and I can't bother to shower. In my opinion, sitting in a shower is more relaxing than sitting in a bath. Something about the running water, constant cleaness... Who knows. Maybe it has something to do with how much I like the rain. I don't know if it's normal to sit in a shower, but when I'm all by myself in the shower social norms aren't really my biggest concern. Good times. I'm quite picky about showers as well. Nothing like a shower with no water pressure. Or the water going cold mid-shower. A cold shower is nice in the summer sometimes but it needs to be a self imposed cold shower. I can't think of anything worse than starting off your day with a miserable cold shower. Showers help me clean my body and clear my head. I recommend them highly. I never really feel like my day has begun until I've had one.
We left rainy Spokane early, early this morning and are now in gloomy St. Lous. Tanya called me to say she is going out to the pool and Peter wrote and said it's 96 down there. I wish I was there. It's good for me to be gone though. As week of silence is a long time so it's good to keep my mind occupied with other things. My crew is a lot of fun. The other flight attendant is really cool and the pilots are silly men/boys.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
gonna make you sweat
It's funny how certain cities in Texas make you a little confused about what country you're actually in. I just got back from having lunch with my crew at a Mexican restaurant here in San Antonio and we very easily could have been in Mexico. It seems that gringos are the minority here. This town has a really fun atmosphere though. We're all hoping to get canceled so we can stay here tonight as well but I don't see that happening. Last night we got here around midnight so we walked over to the Market Square to this little bar. Lou's Saloon, I think. I wish I had a camera to document what this place was like. There was the most random assortment of ugly people there. Lots of gays and lesbians as well. There was one "person" that was the subject of conversation for most of the night because we were trying to figure out what it was. It looked Mexican and was wearing jeans with a belt and a long sleeve plaid shirt. Its hair was about 1.5 inches long on top, stuck out all over, was bleached that orange color that happens when people with really dark hair lighten it, and was smooth shaved all around the side. It was the most disgusting thing I've seen. Reminded me of Jabba the Hutt if that tells you anything... I'm pretty sure it was a woman because I think it had breasts. Which leads me to the neverending lack of understanding I have for women who not only want to be with another woman, but want to be with such an ugly woman. I just don't get it. There was also the old guy with the wife beater and eyepatch. There was much dancing as well. There was the big Mexican guy with the tight pants that danced with nearly every other man there. It was basically like watching a movie, watching all these people laugh and dance together to the Mexican music. Was very entertaining. I always think of Joy when I stay in these towns. I think she is actually Latino and there was a mix-up at birth.
This morning we went down to the pool and enjoyed the 93 degree temperature. It's fairly dry today though so it almost feels good. Makes me want to lie down and take a nap. But no, instead I have to fly to Salt Lake and then on to Spokane. Weather like this makes me love my short hair even more.
I talked to my Daddy this morning and I think he's the best. We don't usually talk a long time when he calls but he calls me enough to let me know he thinks about me a lot and that makes me feel special. My family is the best ever.
Currently reading : The Song of An Innocent Bystander By Ian Bone
This morning we went down to the pool and enjoyed the 93 degree temperature. It's fairly dry today though so it almost feels good. Makes me want to lie down and take a nap. But no, instead I have to fly to Salt Lake and then on to Spokane. Weather like this makes me love my short hair even more.
I talked to my Daddy this morning and I think he's the best. We don't usually talk a long time when he calls but he calls me enough to let me know he thinks about me a lot and that makes me feel special. My family is the best ever.
Currently reading : The Song of An Innocent Bystander By Ian Bone
Thursday, June 8, 2006
I love Georgia blue skies and sunshine
Coming home is a funny thing. Sometimes I go away and it seems like I've been gone forever. I expect things to have changed when I come back. Expect things to be different. Expect to be missed... and then I realize that I've only been gone for 2 days or something silly like that.
Avoidance techniques are another funny thing. Have you ever realized that our avoidance technique one day can be what we're avoiding the next day. I remember when I was in college sometimes I would clean the house just to avoid studying. We put ourselves through all kinds of things emotionally and physically to avoid whatever that other thing is. Travel is sometimes my avoidance technique. Sometimes sleep. That one works less and less these days because then I dream about things. Sometimes writing is an a.t. but it usually ends up helping me sort through whatever I'm trying to avoid. Right now I'm avoiding cleaning my room and doing laundry. I wish I was one of those people that exercises to avoid things or something really constructive like that.
I just experienced a distraction, which has the same end result as an avoidance technique but isn't intentional. I heard a voice on a loudspeaker outside so I went out and lo and behold there were some lovely firefighters prancing around my building. They weren't exactly prancing, but anyway.
This morning when I was sitting in the airport in Portland at 5:30am waiting for my flight everyone heard a strange noise. We looked over and this guy was sitting there, very business man looking, with his earphones in, eyes closed, and he was singing. It was so funny. Everyone around started laughing and watching him. He wasn't full on singing either. It was the kind of singing you do when you're wearing headphones and can't hear yourself. We were contemplating clapping when he finished but we started boarding so that woke him up. I don't think a single day goes by that I'm at the aiport that I don't see something a little strange.
I had a really nice visit with Amy and Shane. (I have to say that cause I found out that even though they don't leave messages they read my blog :-P... I wonder who else does that???) It seems that all my close friends have been really fortunate and married great guys who fit well into our friendships. I guess instead of fitting into they actually expand our friendships which is even better. I hung out with Amy Tuesday night when I got up there cause Shane was working. Then yesterday the three of us drove to Boston where we were planning on being tourists until Adri drove in last night. Then we were going to meet for dinner. Turns out, Boston isn't such a great place to see in the rain, especially pouring down rain. We walked around for hours, getting soaked, then going inside somewhere long enough to dry a little. It was ridiculously cold and was starting to throw my season sense off. It felt like February in Georgia. We were given so many wrong directions which made it all that much more frustrating. We finally did meet up with Adri and her friend Carol and ate. It was really neat to think where we had all come from, all to meet in Boston and eat dinner together.
Well enough avoiding. I have to do laundry, clean my room, and get ready for my trip tomorrow. As of right now I'll be in San Antonio tomorrow, Spokane, WA Saturday, and St. Louis on Sunday. Woo hoo. I'm kind of excited. I hope my crew doesn't suck. Anyone live in or near any of those places? I got to my car this morning and found out that it almost got towed yesterday. Everyone parks along the edge of the parking lot and has as long as I've been there and evidently the other day they decided to enforce the yellow curb. Some guy was standing there and they ran out of tow trucks yesterday or mine would have been next!! I'm so relieved they didn't. That's the last thing I need right now. Now it's got one of those stupid stickers on the window that are impossibly to peel off. Oh well. At least it's better than having to pay a fine AND get the sticker off.
Avoidance techniques are another funny thing. Have you ever realized that our avoidance technique one day can be what we're avoiding the next day. I remember when I was in college sometimes I would clean the house just to avoid studying. We put ourselves through all kinds of things emotionally and physically to avoid whatever that other thing is. Travel is sometimes my avoidance technique. Sometimes sleep. That one works less and less these days because then I dream about things. Sometimes writing is an a.t. but it usually ends up helping me sort through whatever I'm trying to avoid. Right now I'm avoiding cleaning my room and doing laundry. I wish I was one of those people that exercises to avoid things or something really constructive like that.
I just experienced a distraction, which has the same end result as an avoidance technique but isn't intentional. I heard a voice on a loudspeaker outside so I went out and lo and behold there were some lovely firefighters prancing around my building. They weren't exactly prancing, but anyway.
This morning when I was sitting in the airport in Portland at 5:30am waiting for my flight everyone heard a strange noise. We looked over and this guy was sitting there, very business man looking, with his earphones in, eyes closed, and he was singing. It was so funny. Everyone around started laughing and watching him. He wasn't full on singing either. It was the kind of singing you do when you're wearing headphones and can't hear yourself. We were contemplating clapping when he finished but we started boarding so that woke him up. I don't think a single day goes by that I'm at the aiport that I don't see something a little strange.
I had a really nice visit with Amy and Shane. (I have to say that cause I found out that even though they don't leave messages they read my blog :-P... I wonder who else does that???) It seems that all my close friends have been really fortunate and married great guys who fit well into our friendships. I guess instead of fitting into they actually expand our friendships which is even better. I hung out with Amy Tuesday night when I got up there cause Shane was working. Then yesterday the three of us drove to Boston where we were planning on being tourists until Adri drove in last night. Then we were going to meet for dinner. Turns out, Boston isn't such a great place to see in the rain, especially pouring down rain. We walked around for hours, getting soaked, then going inside somewhere long enough to dry a little. It was ridiculously cold and was starting to throw my season sense off. It felt like February in Georgia. We were given so many wrong directions which made it all that much more frustrating. We finally did meet up with Adri and her friend Carol and ate. It was really neat to think where we had all come from, all to meet in Boston and eat dinner together.
Well enough avoiding. I have to do laundry, clean my room, and get ready for my trip tomorrow. As of right now I'll be in San Antonio tomorrow, Spokane, WA Saturday, and St. Louis on Sunday. Woo hoo. I'm kind of excited. I hope my crew doesn't suck. Anyone live in or near any of those places? I got to my car this morning and found out that it almost got towed yesterday. Everyone parks along the edge of the parking lot and has as long as I've been there and evidently the other day they decided to enforce the yellow curb. Some guy was standing there and they ran out of tow trucks yesterday or mine would have been next!! I'm so relieved they didn't. That's the last thing I need right now. Now it's got one of those stupid stickers on the window that are impossibly to peel off. Oh well. At least it's better than having to pay a fine AND get the sticker off.
Tuesday, June 6, 2006
south to north
I'm writing this from the living room of my favorite Portland, Maine residents, Amy and Shane. Talk about spur of the moment trips - last night I was sitting at home being a grouch and sent Amy a message asking what her off days were. Mine are during the week this month which makes visiting hard on most people, since normal people work during the week. She replied and said she was off Wed, so I checked the flights and here I am. I've already let their dog run away, eaten all their food, gone through all their secret stuff, and now I'm downloading viruses on the computer :D. Just kidding. The weather up here is lovely.
I've realized that in the midst of all the unhappiness I've been experiencing lately, I've been forgetting to care about other people's unhappiness. It's so sad cause one of the best cures for unhappiness and depression (that I've noticed anyway) is to focus on something outside of yourself. This is hard to do when you're unhappy but I think you have to get to a point where you're tired of feeling bad and want to do something about it. I feel like a door has been closed in my life. It was a door that led to a lot of beautiful and happy things, but either there is a better door for me to go through or it just isn't the right time for me to go through that one. Only the Lord knows. Sometimes I wish He'd let me in on what's going on... In the meantime I'm going to enjoy some different scenery. As much as it sucks, I think it helps that in my heart the door has finally been closed. Hopefully now I will be able to really let go and move forward. We'll see.
I've realized that in the midst of all the unhappiness I've been experiencing lately, I've been forgetting to care about other people's unhappiness. It's so sad cause one of the best cures for unhappiness and depression (that I've noticed anyway) is to focus on something outside of yourself. This is hard to do when you're unhappy but I think you have to get to a point where you're tired of feeling bad and want to do something about it. I feel like a door has been closed in my life. It was a door that led to a lot of beautiful and happy things, but either there is a better door for me to go through or it just isn't the right time for me to go through that one. Only the Lord knows. Sometimes I wish He'd let me in on what's going on... In the meantime I'm going to enjoy some different scenery. As much as it sucks, I think it helps that in my heart the door has finally been closed. Hopefully now I will be able to really let go and move forward. We'll see.
Sunday, June 4, 2006
Miracles do happen
Finally sitting on my own couch, watching tv (Top Gun to be exact), watching Tanya do homework (sucks to be her), and loving life.
I just spent almost 2 hours walking up and down the side of Hwy 34 in Newnan looking for my cell phone. Dumbass me stops to get gas and leaves it on the roof of the car. As I drive down the road I see something go past the back windshield and realize I don't know where my phone is. Half of everyone I know walked up and down the road searching everywhere and finally after everyone except my mom, dad, T and I leave, I give up and go back to my car and my dad found it. It was still in one piece, still working. I had been praying so hard because first, I can't afford to buy a new phone, and second, I can't go without a phone for even a few hours because I'm always on call. So God answered our prayers. So many people I knew stopped by to see if everything was ok and I know a lot of people were praying. It just proves that God cares about the little things. I had walked by the spot where my dad found it at least 3 times and so had several other people. So I'm thankful for that.
Onto other randomness... I've worked crazy weird stuff for the last 3 nights. Friday night we had a bad storm here in ATL and the ramp was closed. So many planes were diverted. Long story short, our flight that was supposed to leave at 9:05pm left at 12:15am. We arrived at our hotel in Albany, NY at 2:30am and had to leave at 5am to deadhead home. I've been getting my sleep in chunks lately. I'm looking forward to an entire night of uninterrupted sleep in my own bed. Last night I deadheaded to Lexington. My favorite pilot was flying and his captain announced to the entire plane that they had a special flight attendant riding on the flight. Said she (I) had just gotten off maternity leave from having triplets and wasn't it amazing how good I looked??? Everyone was looking at me and saying Wow!! This morning I had an old guy get on the plane. He had a gray beard that was parted in the middle of his chin and brushed back towards his ears. Just the weird people I see on my flights make my job worth doing.
Today I was reminded of how good change can be. I was reminded how something that can seem like the worst thing at the time can actually be the best thing ever. I'm so glad for some of the changes that have taken place over the last few years. Though my life is in no way perfect, I can't help but think how miserable I would be if certain changes hadn't taken place. I can't get over how happy I am for that. Especially when I'm reminded of the way things used to be..
There's more stuff to write about but I'm blathered on enough and I'm missing the movie.
I just spent almost 2 hours walking up and down the side of Hwy 34 in Newnan looking for my cell phone. Dumbass me stops to get gas and leaves it on the roof of the car. As I drive down the road I see something go past the back windshield and realize I don't know where my phone is. Half of everyone I know walked up and down the road searching everywhere and finally after everyone except my mom, dad, T and I leave, I give up and go back to my car and my dad found it. It was still in one piece, still working. I had been praying so hard because first, I can't afford to buy a new phone, and second, I can't go without a phone for even a few hours because I'm always on call. So God answered our prayers. So many people I knew stopped by to see if everything was ok and I know a lot of people were praying. It just proves that God cares about the little things. I had walked by the spot where my dad found it at least 3 times and so had several other people. So I'm thankful for that.
Onto other randomness... I've worked crazy weird stuff for the last 3 nights. Friday night we had a bad storm here in ATL and the ramp was closed. So many planes were diverted. Long story short, our flight that was supposed to leave at 9:05pm left at 12:15am. We arrived at our hotel in Albany, NY at 2:30am and had to leave at 5am to deadhead home. I've been getting my sleep in chunks lately. I'm looking forward to an entire night of uninterrupted sleep in my own bed. Last night I deadheaded to Lexington. My favorite pilot was flying and his captain announced to the entire plane that they had a special flight attendant riding on the flight. Said she (I) had just gotten off maternity leave from having triplets and wasn't it amazing how good I looked??? Everyone was looking at me and saying Wow!! This morning I had an old guy get on the plane. He had a gray beard that was parted in the middle of his chin and brushed back towards his ears. Just the weird people I see on my flights make my job worth doing.
Today I was reminded of how good change can be. I was reminded how something that can seem like the worst thing at the time can actually be the best thing ever. I'm so glad for some of the changes that have taken place over the last few years. Though my life is in no way perfect, I can't help but think how miserable I would be if certain changes hadn't taken place. I can't get over how happy I am for that. Especially when I'm reminded of the way things used to be..
There's more stuff to write about but I'm blathered on enough and I'm missing the movie.
Friday, June 2, 2006
It has been confirmed...
So, in case there was any question about my queen of the world status, it is official. I changed my spark plugs. Unfortunately though, I can't say that my car runs like a Ferrari now, or even a 1992 Honda Civic. It's still running just as bad as before. I changed one of the spark plugs yesterday and got to the second one and couldn't get it unscrewed. I decided to stop trying before I broke something on the car or on myself. Today I decided to try it again since my car seems to be running worse. I got to the second one and realized I had been tightening it. No wonder it wouldn't come undone. I was even saying "righty tighty, lefty loosey." I think it was the heat. So now they're all changed and my car still sounds like it's about to fall over and die. (Or just die so I don't think cars can really fall over.)
I had a very uneventful overnight in Wilkes-Barre/Scranton, PA. I read an entire book (The Red Tent). First while we were waiting for the FO (First Officer/Co-pilot), then on the nearly 2 hour flight, then while I was in bed, and finished it on the way back this morning cause I dead-headed back (I didn't work the flight, just rode while another flight attendant worked. Not sure why. Has to do with crew positioning or something. Happens a lot at the beginning of the month when the new schedule starts.) The book was really interesting. I'm assuming it was all made up even though it's based on real Biblical people. It was interesting to read about their customs and ways, especially from a woman's point of view.
The craziness of people never ceases to amaze me. Yesterday on the bus going into work I listened to a lady tell how a teenage girl passenger had thrown the passenger safety information card at the flight attendant, told her the flight attendant was the one who needed to read it, and said what are you going to do? You can't kick me off the flight. We paid $300 for these tickets. Word to the wise, never throw something at a flight attendant or tell them what they can't do. The girl's parents just sat there. They told the captian who turned around on the active taxiway and went back to the gate where he dropped her and her parents off. What makes people think they can act like that??
I talked to a couple on the flight last night. She said she liked my hair so we talked about that for a while. Then got around to them telling me how 3 years ago she had leukemia, a particularly rare type. At one point she was in a coma for a month and had a 5% chance of living. She went through 2 years of chemo as well. Her husband said she was alive today because of the power of prayer. It was really nice to talk to them. Very uplifting. Nice change from the crazy grouchy people we get sometimes.
I should probably go to sleep since I have to do an Albany, NY nap tonight. It's going to suck.
Currently reading : The Red Tent : A Novel By Anita Diamant
I had a very uneventful overnight in Wilkes-Barre/Scranton, PA. I read an entire book (The Red Tent). First while we were waiting for the FO (First Officer/Co-pilot), then on the nearly 2 hour flight, then while I was in bed, and finished it on the way back this morning cause I dead-headed back (I didn't work the flight, just rode while another flight attendant worked. Not sure why. Has to do with crew positioning or something. Happens a lot at the beginning of the month when the new schedule starts.) The book was really interesting. I'm assuming it was all made up even though it's based on real Biblical people. It was interesting to read about their customs and ways, especially from a woman's point of view.
The craziness of people never ceases to amaze me. Yesterday on the bus going into work I listened to a lady tell how a teenage girl passenger had thrown the passenger safety information card at the flight attendant, told her the flight attendant was the one who needed to read it, and said what are you going to do? You can't kick me off the flight. We paid $300 for these tickets. Word to the wise, never throw something at a flight attendant or tell them what they can't do. The girl's parents just sat there. They told the captian who turned around on the active taxiway and went back to the gate where he dropped her and her parents off. What makes people think they can act like that??
I talked to a couple on the flight last night. She said she liked my hair so we talked about that for a while. Then got around to them telling me how 3 years ago she had leukemia, a particularly rare type. At one point she was in a coma for a month and had a 5% chance of living. She went through 2 years of chemo as well. Her husband said she was alive today because of the power of prayer. It was really nice to talk to them. Very uplifting. Nice change from the crazy grouchy people we get sometimes.
I should probably go to sleep since I have to do an Albany, NY nap tonight. It's going to suck.
Currently reading : The Red Tent : A Novel By Anita Diamant
Thursday, June 1, 2006
Spark plugs and frosties
One of the main times I wish I had a man in my life is when something goes wrong with my car. I have my dad but he works a lot and I don't want to ask him to help me with stuff when he should be resting. So I guess I have to be the man. My car is not happy and I think it's cause the spark plugs need to be change. My car burns oil like a freaking mother and everyone's guess is that the oil has gunked up the spark plugs. So my mission this afternoon is to change them.
My roommate is the best. She brought me a frosty now for no reason. It's funny cause on the cup it says While you're at it bring someone you like, love, or admire from afar a frosty, because everyone likes doing what tastes right. And that's exactly what she did. We were saying how we wouldn't mind if someone admired us from afar and left us frosties on our desks. I once had a Mexican that would leave me a Coke and a banana or sometimes a snickers on my desk. It was sweet.
I had so many rants stored up from our long weekend of driving. So many things drivers do that piss me off.. but I think I'm finally relaxing. I'm making a special effort to not drive in the left lane unless I'm going fast enough and to move over when someone is behind me. It's really sad how mad drivers can make me. I don't know what it is.
I read an amazing book yesterday - Kite Runner. I'd seen it carried around on planes for months and someone finally lent it to me the other day. I finished last night and it made me feel really sad. I recommend you read it but not unless you are happy enough to stay happy after reading it. In other words, if you're already a little sad or down this book will take you the rest of the way. But it's powerful and turns out well. It's just sad cause of the things that happen in it and the fact that they are really happening to people every day.
On a completely different note, I don't understand how things just disappear in my house. I came home from work last week and took two things off and put them on the floor by the chair here and have not been able to find either since then. Where could they possibly be??? It's so frustrating. I have to do naps for the next 4 nights. Woo hoo. I'm going to be a tired girl.
Currently reading : The Kite Runner By Khaled Hosseini
My roommate is the best. She brought me a frosty now for no reason. It's funny cause on the cup it says While you're at it bring someone you like, love, or admire from afar a frosty, because everyone likes doing what tastes right. And that's exactly what she did. We were saying how we wouldn't mind if someone admired us from afar and left us frosties on our desks. I once had a Mexican that would leave me a Coke and a banana or sometimes a snickers on my desk. It was sweet.
I had so many rants stored up from our long weekend of driving. So many things drivers do that piss me off.. but I think I'm finally relaxing. I'm making a special effort to not drive in the left lane unless I'm going fast enough and to move over when someone is behind me. It's really sad how mad drivers can make me. I don't know what it is.
I read an amazing book yesterday - Kite Runner. I'd seen it carried around on planes for months and someone finally lent it to me the other day. I finished last night and it made me feel really sad. I recommend you read it but not unless you are happy enough to stay happy after reading it. In other words, if you're already a little sad or down this book will take you the rest of the way. But it's powerful and turns out well. It's just sad cause of the things that happen in it and the fact that they are really happening to people every day.
On a completely different note, I don't understand how things just disappear in my house. I came home from work last week and took two things off and put them on the floor by the chair here and have not been able to find either since then. Where could they possibly be??? It's so frustrating. I have to do naps for the next 4 nights. Woo hoo. I'm going to be a tired girl.
Currently reading : The Kite Runner By Khaled Hosseini
Monday, May 29, 2006
Catch me ridin dirty
I have just spent 33 of the last 75 hours driving/riding and I'm officially sick of it. As we pulled into the apartment and waited for the gate to open I noticed that my car was smoking a lot. Not good but I guess good timing. I'm tired of riding and looking and thinking and listening to music and driving and looking and thinking and trying to find a radio station and thinking. Can someone please shut my brain off?
Monday, May 22, 2006
Silly, silly me...
I rushed around this morning to make it downstairs for a 1230van and at 1235 I asked the guy where everyone was. Oops... the van is at 1330. Go me. At least I won't be late now. I just talked to J a while ago and he miscalculated the bus time but it made him late. Crazy us.
The last few days have been crazy. I worked Mon am. Did naps Tues and Wed. Got back Thurs morning, went home, showered and packed and flew up to LEX for Shua's birthday that night. Flew home Friday. Went home, did laundry and felt kind of rotten. Almost called in sick for my trip this week. Had to duty in at 5am on Saturday which meant I had to wake up at 3:20. Saturday was one of the hardest days it seemed cause I was so tired and still not feeling too hot for some reason. Flew to Cinci, Greenville, back to Cinci, then to Tulsa. They were having Mayfest in Tulsa which was a big art fair out in the streets in the city all around our hotel. I napped by the pool for a while, then decided to wander around and see what all this Mayfest stuff was about. I ended up sitting on a bench for about 2hrs and watching the people go by. I saw more lesbians (and not the hot ones) than I've ever seen in one place. There was such a variety of people there. It was kind of sad cause you could tell a lot of them were all done up to go to the festival and they just looked misfortunate. I know I'm not the most fashionable person ever, but at least I don't have paw print tattoos on my inner thighs and shorts so short you can see them. There were so many crazy looking people I can't even begin to describe them. I wish I had had a camera just to document the oddity of it all. But it was thoroughly fascinating. One thing that I've been noticing a lot lately are wedding rings.. I'm not sure why, and that doesn't really matter. What it's making me notice though is that the most unattractive people have them, which to me says that someone, somewhere loves them and thinks they're attractive. I know it isn't 100rue but when I see women with rings on it just says "Someone loves me". Makes me a little jealous honestly. I must be coming down with something cause that is not how I normally think.
We have to leave in a minute and I'll be home tonight. I'm glad. Have to go back to Atlanta first, then do a Memphis round trip. These days have been really long. We worked from 12:30 to 12:30 yesterday. Little brother is graduating from high school tomorrow. It just hit me that it's really happening. I've felt so much more peaceful lately. I'm so glad. I can only handle so much unhappiness. Life is good and I am blessed. Hopefully I'll be off tomorrow and can do something chill. I miss my friends and family. They rock my face off.
The last few days have been crazy. I worked Mon am. Did naps Tues and Wed. Got back Thurs morning, went home, showered and packed and flew up to LEX for Shua's birthday that night. Flew home Friday. Went home, did laundry and felt kind of rotten. Almost called in sick for my trip this week. Had to duty in at 5am on Saturday which meant I had to wake up at 3:20. Saturday was one of the hardest days it seemed cause I was so tired and still not feeling too hot for some reason. Flew to Cinci, Greenville, back to Cinci, then to Tulsa. They were having Mayfest in Tulsa which was a big art fair out in the streets in the city all around our hotel. I napped by the pool for a while, then decided to wander around and see what all this Mayfest stuff was about. I ended up sitting on a bench for about 2hrs and watching the people go by. I saw more lesbians (and not the hot ones) than I've ever seen in one place. There was such a variety of people there. It was kind of sad cause you could tell a lot of them were all done up to go to the festival and they just looked misfortunate. I know I'm not the most fashionable person ever, but at least I don't have paw print tattoos on my inner thighs and shorts so short you can see them. There were so many crazy looking people I can't even begin to describe them. I wish I had had a camera just to document the oddity of it all. But it was thoroughly fascinating. One thing that I've been noticing a lot lately are wedding rings.. I'm not sure why, and that doesn't really matter. What it's making me notice though is that the most unattractive people have them, which to me says that someone, somewhere loves them and thinks they're attractive. I know it isn't 100rue but when I see women with rings on it just says "Someone loves me". Makes me a little jealous honestly. I must be coming down with something cause that is not how I normally think.
We have to leave in a minute and I'll be home tonight. I'm glad. Have to go back to Atlanta first, then do a Memphis round trip. These days have been really long. We worked from 12:30 to 12:30 yesterday. Little brother is graduating from high school tomorrow. It just hit me that it's really happening. I've felt so much more peaceful lately. I'm so glad. I can only handle so much unhappiness. Life is good and I am blessed. Hopefully I'll be off tomorrow and can do something chill. I miss my friends and family. They rock my face off.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
egg drop soup. mmm....
I think it's about time I wrote a happy blog, and since I feel very happy today I figured this would be as good a time as any. Yesterday was not one of my finer days. I got home from work, went to sleep around 11am and didn't wake up until 4pm. I still felt tired and awful. I was feeling sad cause I missed someone, but looking forward to going to church and spending time with my family last night. I haven't gotten to go to church in a while and I can feel it. I just really wanted to be around people that would encourage me. Then I check my schedule and see that scheduling has given me another nap last night and taken my off day today. It was just the icing on the cake at that point. I can handle when scheduling screws me around on a good day, but when I'm already feeling like crap sometimes I just feel like I can't take it anymore. I still ended up getting to eat with my mom and Mook but couldn't make church. It was cool cause mashed potatoes are one of my comfort foods and my mom had made them and chicken and gravy. All smooshy foods she said, which I realized is one of the qualities I like about mashed potatoes. It's all soft and warm and makes your belly feel good.
I went to work and survived. I didn't stress myself out about going to sleep last night. I've been having trouble lately. I made a card for someone and went to sleep when I was tired enough. I only got 3 hrs of sleep and overslept this morning but oh well. At the time it stressed me out so bad I almost put my bra on over my undershirt, but it really wasn't that big of a deal.
Yesterday morning on my flight I had a big black lady on there and her name was Lillie White. I thought it was hilarious and laughed quietly inside a great deal. I really hope that's her married name. Today out of the 38 people on the flight, 3 of them had a very distinct lazy eye. Not a droopy eyelid lazy eye, but a "I'm not sure which eye to look at" lazy eye. Craziness. So now it's 9am and I've been home from work for 30 min. I'm eating someone's leftover eggdrop soup (don't be mad Tanya). It makes me happy cause it's warm and yummy. I feel so much better today than I did yesterday. I'm not sure exactly why but I'm glad. It feels good to feel good. May the good feelings continue.
The other night when I couldn't fall asleep I remembered how God tells us to cast all our cares on Him and to take every thought captive for Him. I realized I've been trying to bear so much on my own. All of these things are completely out of my control but I still let them consume my thoughts, so every time a new thought would come to mind I had to make myself realize what the worry was in it and just say, God, here is this bill, this person, this bad feeling. I can't handle it. It's really a good feeling to know your problems are in Someone else's hands. Especially someone who is much more capable and sees the big picture.
I went to work and survived. I didn't stress myself out about going to sleep last night. I've been having trouble lately. I made a card for someone and went to sleep when I was tired enough. I only got 3 hrs of sleep and overslept this morning but oh well. At the time it stressed me out so bad I almost put my bra on over my undershirt, but it really wasn't that big of a deal.
Yesterday morning on my flight I had a big black lady on there and her name was Lillie White. I thought it was hilarious and laughed quietly inside a great deal. I really hope that's her married name. Today out of the 38 people on the flight, 3 of them had a very distinct lazy eye. Not a droopy eyelid lazy eye, but a "I'm not sure which eye to look at" lazy eye. Craziness. So now it's 9am and I've been home from work for 30 min. I'm eating someone's leftover eggdrop soup (don't be mad Tanya). It makes me happy cause it's warm and yummy. I feel so much better today than I did yesterday. I'm not sure exactly why but I'm glad. It feels good to feel good. May the good feelings continue.
The other night when I couldn't fall asleep I remembered how God tells us to cast all our cares on Him and to take every thought captive for Him. I realized I've been trying to bear so much on my own. All of these things are completely out of my control but I still let them consume my thoughts, so every time a new thought would come to mind I had to make myself realize what the worry was in it and just say, God, here is this bill, this person, this bad feeling. I can't handle it. It's really a good feeling to know your problems are in Someone else's hands. Especially someone who is much more capable and sees the big picture.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
same ol' same ol'
In a way I don't feel like writing because I get tired of what I have to say. I pretty much have one thing on my mind constantly so it's hard to write about much else. One of these days I'll write about our trip. It was amazing. It's over. I'm sad about the trip being over but more sad about other things that are over. I still wish there was that wild card that I could play to make the deal that can't be made otherwise.
Davefm's radio free lunch today is songs that give advice. Very fun.
I'm trying to bring some sort of order to my apartment. It's taking too long. I started going through stuff this morning and had to stop cause it made me too sad. U2 says I've got to get myself together. They're right.
Yesterday when I went to work so hating everything I ended up flying with two of the most cheerful pilots ever. It was really good for me cause they made me feel more cheerful. It's a good thing they weren't the ASA hating complaining type that would've just fed the bad feelings I had at the time. I finally got to sleep really late today. I needed it, though I think I had some weird dreams. I've got to do a nap tonight but it's going to be a really easy one. We have 9:13 on the ground which means I can still get a good night's rest. I need to go to Walmart and run other errands but I've been putting it off as much as possible. That would mean I have to get decent looking.
Some days I have the energy to talk myself out of funks that I'm in but lately not so much. I have been riding the pendulum from hopeful to hopeless and back again over the last while. I'm getting dizzy from all the swinging. I gained weight on vacation and now I weigh more than I've ever weighed in my life. Good times. The only good thing is it's tan :-D. Once I go back to my normal eating habits hopefully I'll drop a little of that. I need to exercise too.
I need to put my hope back where it belongs. Not feeling too deserving of anything good from Him lately though. We never really are though. Human feelings are silly. Guess I need to go get things done.
Davefm's radio free lunch today is songs that give advice. Very fun.
I'm trying to bring some sort of order to my apartment. It's taking too long. I started going through stuff this morning and had to stop cause it made me too sad. U2 says I've got to get myself together. They're right.
Yesterday when I went to work so hating everything I ended up flying with two of the most cheerful pilots ever. It was really good for me cause they made me feel more cheerful. It's a good thing they weren't the ASA hating complaining type that would've just fed the bad feelings I had at the time. I finally got to sleep really late today. I needed it, though I think I had some weird dreams. I've got to do a nap tonight but it's going to be a really easy one. We have 9:13 on the ground which means I can still get a good night's rest. I need to go to Walmart and run other errands but I've been putting it off as much as possible. That would mean I have to get decent looking.
Some days I have the energy to talk myself out of funks that I'm in but lately not so much. I have been riding the pendulum from hopeful to hopeless and back again over the last while. I'm getting dizzy from all the swinging. I gained weight on vacation and now I weigh more than I've ever weighed in my life. Good times. The only good thing is it's tan :-D. Once I go back to my normal eating habits hopefully I'll drop a little of that. I need to exercise too.
I need to put my hope back where it belongs. Not feeling too deserving of anything good from Him lately though. We never really are though. Human feelings are silly. Guess I need to go get things done.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Back to life, back to reality
I'm so not thrilled about this whole back to the real world thing. I just had one of the most pleasant weeks of my life and it's over in more ways than just the obvious and it really sucks. It was so nice to have your biggest worry be whether to go to the beach or the pool. Should I wear spf 6 or 8? It was a tough life. No cell phones, no computers, no staying up later than you felt like or getting up earlier than desired. No phone calls from scheduling, or from anyone actually. And it seems that scheduling hates me for going on vacation and thinks I should suffer for it. I have to leave for work in about 45 min. They called me a ton of times this morning and evidently my voicemail isn't working. They put me as unavailable on reserve cause I don't answer unless they leave me a message. Thankfully I woke up and checked my schedule online and called them back.
I need something serious to get me out of this funk. Other than the fact that my job got me to Costa Rica just now for free, I hate it. I'm so sick of being on reserve. So sick of being broke. Sick of having no control over my schedule. I have two things coming up the week after this one that are of utmost importance to me and I'm supposed to be working both days, and they won't help me out at all. I need to stop complaining and go get dressed for work. ugh. When my phone started ringing this morning I was dreaming that I was still in Costa Rica and wondered how I had gotten service down there. Watch out passengers! I'm in a super-post-vacation-funk. I want to go back to bed and wake up and things be perfect again.
I need something serious to get me out of this funk. Other than the fact that my job got me to Costa Rica just now for free, I hate it. I'm so sick of being on reserve. So sick of being broke. Sick of having no control over my schedule. I have two things coming up the week after this one that are of utmost importance to me and I'm supposed to be working both days, and they won't help me out at all. I need to stop complaining and go get dressed for work. ugh. When my phone started ringing this morning I was dreaming that I was still in Costa Rica and wondered how I had gotten service down there. Watch out passengers! I'm in a super-post-vacation-funk. I want to go back to bed and wake up and things be perfect again.
Thursday, May 4, 2006
PS.
If I could bottle the smell of spring time right now I could be happy forever. Everywhere I go outside it smells like honeysuckle and other beautiful things. It seems like if you smell something like that enough then the beauty of it would eventually seep into your heart and soul. How can unhappiness live in a place where beauty also lives?
Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud
It is not rude
It is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects
Always trusts
Always hopes
Always perseveres
Love never fails
I want to go to sleep and let the smells of beauty make my dreams beautiful and my sleep sweet. It's been a struggle to have sweet dreams lately. I have to give up what I want and allow whatever God wants. There are so many things in life that are easier said than done. So many things that make sense in hind sight. So much advice that can be given after the fact, when the pain is gone and you're dealing with someone else's pain, on the outside looking in. It's so hard for the rational to dominate the emotional. I'm happy for tomorrow. Partially because I don't know what good things it could hold. Partially cause I'm going to get a haircut and I need one so bad. Mostly because, even though I will never deserve it, God loves me more than anyone, myself included, could ever love me. Why can't I focus on that? I think I need to make it a practice to live more love in my life. The right kind of love as well. I was remembering the verse today that says they will know we are Christians by our love. Not by the sermons we preach or anything like that. Simply by our love. I think maybe the aspect of love I need to work on right now is patience. Need to stop thinking I know what the future will hold. Stop fretting about what I think may or may not happen. Just be patient and trust. Blah blah blah. Like I said, easier said than done.
Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud
It is not rude
It is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects
Always trusts
Always hopes
Always perseveres
Love never fails
I want to go to sleep and let the smells of beauty make my dreams beautiful and my sleep sweet. It's been a struggle to have sweet dreams lately. I have to give up what I want and allow whatever God wants. There are so many things in life that are easier said than done. So many things that make sense in hind sight. So much advice that can be given after the fact, when the pain is gone and you're dealing with someone else's pain, on the outside looking in. It's so hard for the rational to dominate the emotional. I'm happy for tomorrow. Partially because I don't know what good things it could hold. Partially cause I'm going to get a haircut and I need one so bad. Mostly because, even though I will never deserve it, God loves me more than anyone, myself included, could ever love me. Why can't I focus on that? I think I need to make it a practice to live more love in my life. The right kind of love as well. I was remembering the verse today that says they will know we are Christians by our love. Not by the sermons we preach or anything like that. Simply by our love. I think maybe the aspect of love I need to work on right now is patience. Need to stop thinking I know what the future will hold. Stop fretting about what I think may or may not happen. Just be patient and trust. Blah blah blah. Like I said, easier said than done.
This is not cheerful
I hate it when I do something that I know is going to cause me pain. I know it will hurt. There's no way it can't. And I do it anyway. I'm tired of all the emotions I've been feeling lately. I want my boring, happy life back. I want to feel peaceful and cared for. I hate being confused. I hate hurting. I hate crying. Caring really is the devil. Anyone who tells you different is seriously mistaken.
Tuesday, May 2, 2006
dreams of cats
I've had two bad dreams lately regarding my family and the house we live in (even though I don't really live with them anymore). I took a long nap and don't feel any better. I don't know what to do.
In my dream we lived in this huge house. I feel like this guy that l lived in the same house as in England lived there, and I think Angela did too (even though she's married now - go figure). I needed to move rooms or something and there was this big problem until I remembered about this huge suite on the second floor that noone used. It was massive with it's own living room and huge bathroom. The only thing was one of my siblings or Angela kept their cat in there. I said why don't we close off the one room and I'll just have the bathroom and bedroom but noone seemed interested. We went in there, my mom and sibs and I and the cat had had kittens so there were medium sized little kittens, few months old probably, and tiny ones, few weeks maybe. They and their mother would attack everyone who came near them, but noone except me seemed to have a problem with. Everyone else just picked them up using towels and stuff. It was one of those dreams where I'm so upset, I would yell if I could, but noone seems to care.
No wonder I feel worse now.
In my dream we lived in this huge house. I feel like this guy that l lived in the same house as in England lived there, and I think Angela did too (even though she's married now - go figure). I needed to move rooms or something and there was this big problem until I remembered about this huge suite on the second floor that noone used. It was massive with it's own living room and huge bathroom. The only thing was one of my siblings or Angela kept their cat in there. I said why don't we close off the one room and I'll just have the bathroom and bedroom but noone seemed interested. We went in there, my mom and sibs and I and the cat had had kittens so there were medium sized little kittens, few months old probably, and tiny ones, few weeks maybe. They and their mother would attack everyone who came near them, but noone except me seemed to have a problem with. Everyone else just picked them up using towels and stuff. It was one of those dreams where I'm so upset, I would yell if I could, but noone seems to care.
No wonder I feel worse now.
To nap, or not to nap. That is a very tough question.
I'm finally home. I haven't been gone that long but it seems like forever. I haven't even been working that much and I'm exhausted. I have been getting up really early though. I guess the staying up late this weekend to start off my trip didn't help anything. I felt more rested this morning but after the flight I drove to Fayetteville to get my car alligned (one or two Ls?). I sat there long enough to get tired again, or for the morning adrenaline to wear off.
This morning was so frustrating. I turned the water on in the shower. Pushed it in the direction of the arrow with the H. After waiting more than 5 minutes it was still freezing cold. I was going to be late for the van and wasn't about to take a cold shower but wasn't about to go without one. I checked the sink to make there was hot water period and after finding out there was I called the front desk. She didn't know what to tell me. So finally now, with 20 minutes til I'm supposed to be out the door I push the handle almost to the off position. It didn't seem as cold and finally got hot. So the freaking handle in the shower was backwards. Then after I got out of the shower and was running around trying to get dressed I couldn't find my bra. The place we stayed in was the size of a one bedroom apartment so I was running back and forth checking everywhere. I was trying to imagine that one - calling my captain and saying sorry, I can't go. I can't find my bra. I eventually found it (obviously, since I'm not still in PA). The hotel was so nice. It's a shame to have all that space to yourself. There were some table out behind it and we sat out for a while last night looking across the valley. Our captain has been with ASA for 16 years and the FO had only been there about 7 months. I ate too much and went to sleep early. The hotel put bath & body works stuff in our bathrooms which was really nice.
I got two new uniform shirts today. They are actually really nice shirts and it makes me happy. I can at least look a little more presentable. I also got a tie the other day from the bride's brother at the wedding on Saturday. That pretty much made my day. It's pink and white (which is why he was more than happy to give it away). It's funny the little things that can just make all the difference in your day - good and bad. I had to get my brakes fixed, oil changed, and car aligned (I just checked. It's just one L). I also found out I have to get the other CV boot replaced. It's all going to be around $500, which absolutely rocks my face off.... ugh. That's one of those things that has a tendency to bring your day down. Maybe that's why I got tired again. I should go take a nap.
I've also got to figure out how I'm going to get off for the wedding I'll be in at the end of this month. I called them to get my off days switched and found out it's a holiday weekend which pretty much means they wont' give me off. I don't know what I'll do though. Makes me more tired just thinking about it...
This morning was so frustrating. I turned the water on in the shower. Pushed it in the direction of the arrow with the H. After waiting more than 5 minutes it was still freezing cold. I was going to be late for the van and wasn't about to take a cold shower but wasn't about to go without one. I checked the sink to make there was hot water period and after finding out there was I called the front desk. She didn't know what to tell me. So finally now, with 20 minutes til I'm supposed to be out the door I push the handle almost to the off position. It didn't seem as cold and finally got hot. So the freaking handle in the shower was backwards. Then after I got out of the shower and was running around trying to get dressed I couldn't find my bra. The place we stayed in was the size of a one bedroom apartment so I was running back and forth checking everywhere. I was trying to imagine that one - calling my captain and saying sorry, I can't go. I can't find my bra. I eventually found it (obviously, since I'm not still in PA). The hotel was so nice. It's a shame to have all that space to yourself. There were some table out behind it and we sat out for a while last night looking across the valley. Our captain has been with ASA for 16 years and the FO had only been there about 7 months. I ate too much and went to sleep early. The hotel put bath & body works stuff in our bathrooms which was really nice.
I got two new uniform shirts today. They are actually really nice shirts and it makes me happy. I can at least look a little more presentable. I also got a tie the other day from the bride's brother at the wedding on Saturday. That pretty much made my day. It's pink and white (which is why he was more than happy to give it away). It's funny the little things that can just make all the difference in your day - good and bad. I had to get my brakes fixed, oil changed, and car aligned (I just checked. It's just one L). I also found out I have to get the other CV boot replaced. It's all going to be around $500, which absolutely rocks my face off.... ugh. That's one of those things that has a tendency to bring your day down. Maybe that's why I got tired again. I should go take a nap.
I've also got to figure out how I'm going to get off for the wedding I'll be in at the end of this month. I called them to get my off days switched and found out it's a holiday weekend which pretty much means they wont' give me off. I don't know what I'll do though. Makes me more tired just thinking about it...
Monday, May 1, 2006
Warning: Written by a very tired girl
I can't believe it's May already...
I'm writing this from Wilkes-Barre, PA. Spent yesterday in McAllen, TX and had a great time. Worked on my tan, ate Mexican food, flew with one of my good friends. Got back this morning. Was feeling very exhausted, ready to go home and get a hair cut, when they extend me to come up here. I didn't mind particularly. Just that I'm so tired. I got to see one of my favorite people today and he gave me a very nice note and a copy of Jack Johnson's Curious George. Definitely made my day. *sigh*
There is a lot of stuff that I would write about right now but I am sooo tired. I can't do it. I'm going to listen to this cd and go to sleep.
I'm writing this from Wilkes-Barre, PA. Spent yesterday in McAllen, TX and had a great time. Worked on my tan, ate Mexican food, flew with one of my good friends. Got back this morning. Was feeling very exhausted, ready to go home and get a hair cut, when they extend me to come up here. I didn't mind particularly. Just that I'm so tired. I got to see one of my favorite people today and he gave me a very nice note and a copy of Jack Johnson's Curious George. Definitely made my day. *sigh*
There is a lot of stuff that I would write about right now but I am sooo tired. I can't do it. I'm going to listen to this cd and go to sleep.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
PS.
I remembered what was really getting me down. Even more than rain and gray skies, more than being broke, and wasting time and energy. I found out recently that a couple I know and have respected and loved for many years is having serious problems. I don't have much faith in relationships to begin with and seeing something like this happen really shakes me down deep. It makes me sad and hope that it really, somehow isn't true. I know no relationship is perfect. Mine aren't, my friends' aren't, my parents' isn't, none of my friend's parents' are. But you still like to think that it is possible to have a good relationship and make it last. That's what scares me the most. It's not getting dumped by some guy, getting cheated on by a boyfriend, or getting married and it falling apart right now. It's being married for years and years, building a life together, having children together, starting to grow old together, and THEN it falling apart. As a young person I'd like to think that you get to a safe point where you know it's gonna last forever, but it doesn't seem that way. Even people that have been married 20 and 30 years get divorced. It's just scary because you could marry the perfect person and 20 years down the road they get that itch or whatever it is. They decide they don't love you anymore. How can you ever really know that isn't going to happen? It's such a risk. It's one thing to see a bad marriage collapse. It's almost expected. But it's another thing to see one that you thought was as close to perfect as you can get fall apart. I guess you never really know what's going on on the inside though... Good times.
On a lighter note, what is it about new shoes that makes you want to wear them ALL the time?? Even while cleaning your room. It's so much fun. At least that makes me happy.
On a lighter note, what is it about new shoes that makes you want to wear them ALL the time?? Even while cleaning your room. It's so much fun. At least that makes me happy.
The sun'll come out tomorrow (I hope)
I don't like this weather. It's really sad how directly connected my mood and the weather are. I should feel great right now cause I got a few things done this morning, but alas, it's gray and rainy outside and I feel gray and rainy inside. I was going to play tennis today as well. I slept really late today as well which bugs me. I've been having sleeping issues though. Blah.
I hate spending money but sometimes you just can't avoid it. You know buying food and such other frivolities. The other day I went shopping for a new swimming suit and ended up buying 3 of them because I couldn't decide which one looked best on me. So after much consultation, I decided which one I wanted and Roomie T wants one of the others, so I took the other one back this morning. While I'm in there I decided to have a wander through the shoes and I found a pair of really cute brown sandals. They were only $11 and I have been looking for some for a while so I got them. So I do my smart thing of taking the suit back but end up spending most of the money on something else. Also found out my rotars are warped so I have to get that taken care of on Friday. More money down the drain. Not that it matters cause I'm a big baller with lamborghini doors on my escalade. That's why I just had tuna and crackers for lunch. I had some stuff to mail and a work shirt to return that was the wrong size. I finally find a place to get envelopes and mail stuff and as I'm walking in the store I see that there is a spot on the shirt from where some stupid teenage boys were goofing off and threw orange drink everywhere. So now I have to go home, wash the spot out, then mail it another day. Wasted trip. I'm such a complainer. More frustrated I guess. I also kept going the wrong way, or just not the best way, when I was trying to get stuff done. I don't know why that bugs me so much but I like to be efficient about this and not be driving all over the place, spending more time and gas than necessary. I think it's also part of my man side that gets irritated about not where I'm going.
I have to do a nap tonight which I'm way thrilled about. That means I don't get to play volleyball. I shouldn't be complaining though cause I haven't had to work since Sunday. But it's rainy outside so I'm going to complain anyway. The nice thing about not working is that I got to see one of my friends who is in town. Yay! She rocks my face off.
I don't really have anything interesting to say. I need to shower but was hoping to exercise so I've been putting it off. Need to clean my room. I shoved everything in piles last night when my friend spent the night. Guess I should get to it. I need to go cross all the things I've gotten done off my list and hopefully that will make me feel better. The price of gas these days is also depressing me. I need to be happy cause I have a car, a job, a new swimming suit, a full stomach, hair to wash, friends to spend time with, stories to write about... You get it, and I think I do too.
I hate spending money but sometimes you just can't avoid it. You know buying food and such other frivolities. The other day I went shopping for a new swimming suit and ended up buying 3 of them because I couldn't decide which one looked best on me. So after much consultation, I decided which one I wanted and Roomie T wants one of the others, so I took the other one back this morning. While I'm in there I decided to have a wander through the shoes and I found a pair of really cute brown sandals. They were only $11 and I have been looking for some for a while so I got them. So I do my smart thing of taking the suit back but end up spending most of the money on something else. Also found out my rotars are warped so I have to get that taken care of on Friday. More money down the drain. Not that it matters cause I'm a big baller with lamborghini doors on my escalade. That's why I just had tuna and crackers for lunch. I had some stuff to mail and a work shirt to return that was the wrong size. I finally find a place to get envelopes and mail stuff and as I'm walking in the store I see that there is a spot on the shirt from where some stupid teenage boys were goofing off and threw orange drink everywhere. So now I have to go home, wash the spot out, then mail it another day. Wasted trip. I'm such a complainer. More frustrated I guess. I also kept going the wrong way, or just not the best way, when I was trying to get stuff done. I don't know why that bugs me so much but I like to be efficient about this and not be driving all over the place, spending more time and gas than necessary. I think it's also part of my man side that gets irritated about not where I'm going.
I have to do a nap tonight which I'm way thrilled about. That means I don't get to play volleyball. I shouldn't be complaining though cause I haven't had to work since Sunday. But it's rainy outside so I'm going to complain anyway. The nice thing about not working is that I got to see one of my friends who is in town. Yay! She rocks my face off.
I don't really have anything interesting to say. I need to shower but was hoping to exercise so I've been putting it off. Need to clean my room. I shoved everything in piles last night when my friend spent the night. Guess I should get to it. I need to go cross all the things I've gotten done off my list and hopefully that will make me feel better. The price of gas these days is also depressing me. I need to be happy cause I have a car, a job, a new swimming suit, a full stomach, hair to wash, friends to spend time with, stories to write about... You get it, and I think I do too.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
hairy armpits and avocados.. mmm
I just got home from work and it was such a jolly good day. Started off a bit rough cause I didn't get up when I was supposed to (even though i had been waking up since 7something). I did a Portland, Maine round trip and had such nice people going both ways. On the way up there were a ton of kids, including identical twin girls with the biggest, brownest eyes ever. I love brown eyes. Blue eyes are pretty but there is just something I adore about brown ones. Two kids were fighting for the first 20 minutes of the flight, which included a great deal of yelling and shrieking. This is always a touchy situation cause I know parent's are embarrassed (ones with common decency are anyway) and other passengers are annoyed. I never know if I should try to say something to the kids or if they parents will get pissed off. I finally went up to them and told them that fighting wasn't allowed on the plane. That including tickling and kicking. Calmed them down for at least 5 minutes.
On the way back I had all kinds of fun people. They were cracking jokes during my announcements, which doesn't bother me. At least I know they're fun. Then, mid-announcement, I watch as the lady in the front row raises her arm to adjust the air vent. As she does this I can see what appears to be a lifetime's worth of growth under her arm. I was so in shock and was very thankful that I don't have to think while I do my announcements anymore because my thoughts were far, far from seatbelts and oxygen masks. I was doing all I could to keep from laughing and noone really knew why. Good times. I noticed later she had the leg hair to match, and was breast feeding her daughter who was almost a year and a half. The daughter was adorable and reminded me so much of Olive, the little girl I took care of in Spain. She was a beautiful blue-eyed blond, with dimples and a great personality. She kept everyone entertained.
There was also a group of middle age people who were giving me the usual "the gate agent told me you were serving filet mignon and free drinks". Then they were making bets as to where I was from. One thought I was from Cincinatti and the other guessed upstate NY. They couldn't believe I was from ATL. Had the same conversation with another couple. I'm not sure why but I'm so glad I don't sound southern. The next time I went through they asked me how old I was. They had bet on this question as well. I couldn't believe it though when they started making their guesses. It made me promise myself to never get upset when I get carded or someone thinks I'm young again. The two men each thought I was 28 and 32 and the lady guessed correctly!!! I was blown away. People don't usually even guess close to my age, much less guess older than I am. It nearly ruined my day.
Last night I went with my friend, who I visited while she was living in Bosnia, to a Bosnian restaurant here in Atlanta. It was really funny. We got there around 7 and were the only customers there. It was very similar to Bosnia in that there were no menus, it was kind of this is what you get. We had cevapi, which I had while I was in Sarajevo. It was the only thing available, but was really good. They said they were supposed to have other stuff but the truck had never arrived. The guy that was serving us didn't really work there either. They told us there were supposed to be singers there but they didnt' know where they were either. This is all typical to Bosnia. Everyone was friendly and a few more people showed up but we only stayed til about 9. They supposedly have a disco there later, which I would have really liked to see, but maybe next time.
Also went to the Dekalb Farmer's Market yesterday with J. I've been trying to get him to go for months cause he likes all kinds of foods and cultures. We mainly browsed. I got a few things including fresh baked french bread and avocados which we ended up eating together on the way home. Best avo I've had in months and months. I think I might have another now. Waiting for my crazy roomie to get home. See what kind of trouble we can get ourselves into tonight.
Currently reading : Black Like Me By John Howard Griffin
On the way back I had all kinds of fun people. They were cracking jokes during my announcements, which doesn't bother me. At least I know they're fun. Then, mid-announcement, I watch as the lady in the front row raises her arm to adjust the air vent. As she does this I can see what appears to be a lifetime's worth of growth under her arm. I was so in shock and was very thankful that I don't have to think while I do my announcements anymore because my thoughts were far, far from seatbelts and oxygen masks. I was doing all I could to keep from laughing and noone really knew why. Good times. I noticed later she had the leg hair to match, and was breast feeding her daughter who was almost a year and a half. The daughter was adorable and reminded me so much of Olive, the little girl I took care of in Spain. She was a beautiful blue-eyed blond, with dimples and a great personality. She kept everyone entertained.
There was also a group of middle age people who were giving me the usual "the gate agent told me you were serving filet mignon and free drinks". Then they were making bets as to where I was from. One thought I was from Cincinatti and the other guessed upstate NY. They couldn't believe I was from ATL. Had the same conversation with another couple. I'm not sure why but I'm so glad I don't sound southern. The next time I went through they asked me how old I was. They had bet on this question as well. I couldn't believe it though when they started making their guesses. It made me promise myself to never get upset when I get carded or someone thinks I'm young again. The two men each thought I was 28 and 32 and the lady guessed correctly!!! I was blown away. People don't usually even guess close to my age, much less guess older than I am. It nearly ruined my day.
Last night I went with my friend, who I visited while she was living in Bosnia, to a Bosnian restaurant here in Atlanta. It was really funny. We got there around 7 and were the only customers there. It was very similar to Bosnia in that there were no menus, it was kind of this is what you get. We had cevapi, which I had while I was in Sarajevo. It was the only thing available, but was really good. They said they were supposed to have other stuff but the truck had never arrived. The guy that was serving us didn't really work there either. They told us there were supposed to be singers there but they didnt' know where they were either. This is all typical to Bosnia. Everyone was friendly and a few more people showed up but we only stayed til about 9. They supposedly have a disco there later, which I would have really liked to see, but maybe next time.
Also went to the Dekalb Farmer's Market yesterday with J. I've been trying to get him to go for months cause he likes all kinds of foods and cultures. We mainly browsed. I got a few things including fresh baked french bread and avocados which we ended up eating together on the way home. Best avo I've had in months and months. I think I might have another now. Waiting for my crazy roomie to get home. See what kind of trouble we can get ourselves into tonight.
Currently reading : Black Like Me By John Howard Griffin
Friday, April 21, 2006
crazy eyes
The other day as I was trying to go to sleep I experienced something really bizarre. You know how you have the REM (rapid eye movement) stage of sleep? Have you ever watched someone sleep and seen their eyes moving under their lids? I was almost all the way asleep but evidently just awake enough to realize that my eyes were moving rapidly about. It was the weirdest thing cause my mind started focusing on my eye movement but evidently not enough to wake up eyes up and make them stop. It started driving me crazy. I was so tired and I just wanted to shut my eyes so they would hold still and I could sleep but they were already shut. That would be torture for me not to be able to shut my eyes and sleep ever. I guess somewhere in the vagueness of semi-sleep land either my mind shut off or my eyes stopped twitching and I slept but it was a really weird feeling. I think my mind and body aren't in agreement on sleep half the time. I've just never been this aware of it.
Today is my last day off and I'm determined to enjoy it. Sounds like I'll be doing all sorts of cultural things today. I'll let you know if they do, in fact, take place.
Saw my baby sister play her violin last night. They sounded so good and she is so pretty. I love her. I love all my family. They're the best ever. I'm so blessed. If anyone needs a family I'd be more than happy to share.
This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Today is my last day off and I'm determined to enjoy it. Sounds like I'll be doing all sorts of cultural things today. I'll let you know if they do, in fact, take place.
Saw my baby sister play her violin last night. They sounded so good and she is so pretty. I love her. I love all my family. They're the best ever. I'm so blessed. If anyone needs a family I'd be more than happy to share.
This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Anika tagged me
Tag I'm it!!
1. My room is so messy but my closet is crazy organized, by colors, sleeve length, and everything.
2. I'm an affection junkie.
3. I get motion sick very easily. Lots of times on swings. Sometimes even on airplanes at work.
4. I think way too much like a man.
5. I'm from Georgia but I don't like sweet tea.
6. Whenever I fall asleep I like to have something touching my cheek, and right before I go to sleep, no matter what position I was in, I always turn on my side. That's how I know I'm really going to sleep. Yay!
So the rules are, once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 6 weird things/habits about yourself. In the end you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
I tag...
1. Tanya
2. Amie
3. Kathryn
4. Roya
5. Adri
6. Carson
7. Peter
8. Anyone else who wants to do this cause I want you all to do it.
1. My room is so messy but my closet is crazy organized, by colors, sleeve length, and everything.
2. I'm an affection junkie.
3. I get motion sick very easily. Lots of times on swings. Sometimes even on airplanes at work.
4. I think way too much like a man.
5. I'm from Georgia but I don't like sweet tea.
6. Whenever I fall asleep I like to have something touching my cheek, and right before I go to sleep, no matter what position I was in, I always turn on my side. That's how I know I'm really going to sleep. Yay!
So the rules are, once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 6 weird things/habits about yourself. In the end you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
I tag...
1. Tanya
2. Amie
3. Kathryn
4. Roya
5. Adri
6. Carson
7. Peter
8. Anyone else who wants to do this cause I want you all to do it.
Happy Friday to me
I should be going to sleep right now but I'm going to clear my head so I can sleep nice. I've done naps the last two nights and I'm hating this sleep schedule. Last night I went to Omaha and we didn't get to the hotel til 1:30 CST and had to go back to the airport at 5am. So basically I slept 3 hrs. There were times on the flight this morning I had no idea what was going on and had to stop and really focus on what I was doing. It's outrageous. The night before last I did a Dothan, AL nap which was a piece of cake. 8.5 hrs on the ground and only a 30 min flight, but it's hard for me to go to sleep and the alarm in the room started to go off extra early so I still didn't sleep much. Then good old ATC turned our 30 min flight into almost an hour. Blah blah blah.
Last night we were in the lounge waiting for our plane to arrive and one of the rampers came in and asked who was going to Colombus last night. They had hooked up the ground power to the plane and then driven the truck away without unhooking it and pulled a part of the side of the plane off. These are the brilliant people we have working the ramp in Atlanta. It was funny though and we all wished he had done it to our plane so we could go home. My captain last night told me about a flight attendant who told everyone the flight was to Maconga. (This makes me laugh just thinking about it). Everyone, including the pilots were really confused. She went up there and showed them the downline with all the flight info on it and sure enough, at the top it said MACON,GA. It obviously takes a lot of brains to work in the airline industry.
I told my pilot's yesterday that I broke my armpit, cause it hurts really bad and I don't know why. It was pretty much the entertainment of the trip - talking about getting it x-rayed, then getting a cast on it, wearing it for 6 months (cause that's how long broken armpits take to heal), the resulting hairiness and smelliness, how noone would want to fly with me, and how if I didn't get it fixed it'd heal wrong and I'd be the girl with the crooked armpit and noone would want to fly with me then either and no man would ever love me. My FO said that once he broke his butt and now he has a crack in it :-P. He said they used to freak his little cousin out by saying that it was weird that he had a crack in his butt cause noone else did. The Captain got cat scratch fever in his armpit... He had to have it amputated.. hehe. Good times. (He really did get cat scratch fever though.)
It's so nice to be home for a few days. I'm hoping to work or something in between but I'll be happy if I can just get a decent night's sleep.
One thing that I realized I despise, in myself and others, is insecurity. Probably more so in myself than in others because I can't know the reasons for other people's insecurities. But they just frustrate me. I hate my feelings and/or actions being controlled by silly, often unfounded thoughts that I have about myself. I tried on swimming suits and sunglasses yesterday, which reminded me of this. I would like to not worry about what other people think and just say, as long as I am happy with X then that's all that matters. I would like to see that in those I care about as well. I hate when someone is scared to speak up, even just to give their opinion, cause they're afraid of the response.
I also hate neighbor's that have annoying dogs that bark ALL DAY LONG. I'm going to go kill it..... ahhhhh.... silence
Last night we were in the lounge waiting for our plane to arrive and one of the rampers came in and asked who was going to Colombus last night. They had hooked up the ground power to the plane and then driven the truck away without unhooking it and pulled a part of the side of the plane off. These are the brilliant people we have working the ramp in Atlanta. It was funny though and we all wished he had done it to our plane so we could go home. My captain last night told me about a flight attendant who told everyone the flight was to Maconga. (This makes me laugh just thinking about it). Everyone, including the pilots were really confused. She went up there and showed them the downline with all the flight info on it and sure enough, at the top it said MACON,GA. It obviously takes a lot of brains to work in the airline industry.
I told my pilot's yesterday that I broke my armpit, cause it hurts really bad and I don't know why. It was pretty much the entertainment of the trip - talking about getting it x-rayed, then getting a cast on it, wearing it for 6 months (cause that's how long broken armpits take to heal), the resulting hairiness and smelliness, how noone would want to fly with me, and how if I didn't get it fixed it'd heal wrong and I'd be the girl with the crooked armpit and noone would want to fly with me then either and no man would ever love me. My FO said that once he broke his butt and now he has a crack in it :-P. He said they used to freak his little cousin out by saying that it was weird that he had a crack in his butt cause noone else did. The Captain got cat scratch fever in his armpit... He had to have it amputated.. hehe. Good times. (He really did get cat scratch fever though.)
It's so nice to be home for a few days. I'm hoping to work or something in between but I'll be happy if I can just get a decent night's sleep.
One thing that I realized I despise, in myself and others, is insecurity. Probably more so in myself than in others because I can't know the reasons for other people's insecurities. But they just frustrate me. I hate my feelings and/or actions being controlled by silly, often unfounded thoughts that I have about myself. I tried on swimming suits and sunglasses yesterday, which reminded me of this. I would like to not worry about what other people think and just say, as long as I am happy with X then that's all that matters. I would like to see that in those I care about as well. I hate when someone is scared to speak up, even just to give their opinion, cause they're afraid of the response.
I also hate neighbor's that have annoying dogs that bark ALL DAY LONG. I'm going to go kill it..... ahhhhh.... silence
Friday, April 14, 2006
For those who love lists
I am an avid list maker. I make lists out of necessity, but I also make them because I enjoy them. Sometimes when I can't sleep all I have to do is get a piece of paper, make a list of what's keeping me up (usually stuff I HAVE to remember to do the next day) and then I can sleep. I make lists on my hands, on random pieces of paper while in my jumpseat, on my mirror - basically wherever I can make one, and then when I get to my planner I re-copy them in there so they be more organized. Sometimes I re-copy things that I've already done just so I can cross them off the list in my planner. It makes me feel like I've accomplished something.
The reason I thought about writing this today is because I thought of a way to make lists more fun (for those of you who don't think they're fun already). My list usually has stuff like pay bills, clean room, do laundry - really boring stuff. So I also write fun stuff on there (stuff that really needs to be done, mind you) like painting my nails, so then not everything on my list is a miserable chore and I can still get stuff marked off my list.
So I guess I should go pack for my trip so I can mark it off my list...
The reason I thought about writing this today is because I thought of a way to make lists more fun (for those of you who don't think they're fun already). My list usually has stuff like pay bills, clean room, do laundry - really boring stuff. So I also write fun stuff on there (stuff that really needs to be done, mind you) like painting my nails, so then not everything on my list is a miserable chore and I can still get stuff marked off my list.
So I guess I should go pack for my trip so I can mark it off my list...
Labels don't lie
My lesson of the week:
When the label on your medicine says to avoid excessive exposure to sunlight, it really means it. What they need to clarify is that excessive actually means any.
I've been on an antibiotic since last week to clear up the sinus infection I had. It's been working and I'm well now which is fantastic. Yesterday I met my friend at Starbucks and we were sitting outside talking, enjoying the weather, and watching people. I kept checking my arms because on Tuesday I had gotten a little sunburned and it was itching like crazy and didn't want to get burned more. After about an hour and a half (I don't consider this to be an excessive amount of sunlight) we saw a couple that I knew and the wife said she thought I should sit in the shade cause I was getting burned. So now my face and arms are extremely sunburned. You can tell which side of me the sun was on as well because my right arm and right cheek are much pinker than the left. Good times.
My sister Joy came home for Easter weekend yesterday so I drove up to the Varsity to meet her ride and take her the rest of the way home. We drove by our birth place in East Pernt. I'd really like to go back inside the house one day. The hill that it is on seems so small now. It used to be the biggest hill in the world. I guess with erosion and all it's smaller now ;-). Funny how different things seem from only 2 feet further off the ground. Was good to spend time with the fam last night. They're the best. My poor dad had to leave for work, which makes me sad.
And speaking of leaving for work, I have to go pack to spend the weekend in Omaha. I'm flying there tonight and coming back Sunday morning. Then it looks like I have to do a nap on Sunday night as well. I'm off Wed - Fri next week though. Even more good times.
When the label on your medicine says to avoid excessive exposure to sunlight, it really means it. What they need to clarify is that excessive actually means any.
I've been on an antibiotic since last week to clear up the sinus infection I had. It's been working and I'm well now which is fantastic. Yesterday I met my friend at Starbucks and we were sitting outside talking, enjoying the weather, and watching people. I kept checking my arms because on Tuesday I had gotten a little sunburned and it was itching like crazy and didn't want to get burned more. After about an hour and a half (I don't consider this to be an excessive amount of sunlight) we saw a couple that I knew and the wife said she thought I should sit in the shade cause I was getting burned. So now my face and arms are extremely sunburned. You can tell which side of me the sun was on as well because my right arm and right cheek are much pinker than the left. Good times.
My sister Joy came home for Easter weekend yesterday so I drove up to the Varsity to meet her ride and take her the rest of the way home. We drove by our birth place in East Pernt. I'd really like to go back inside the house one day. The hill that it is on seems so small now. It used to be the biggest hill in the world. I guess with erosion and all it's smaller now ;-). Funny how different things seem from only 2 feet further off the ground. Was good to spend time with the fam last night. They're the best. My poor dad had to leave for work, which makes me sad.
And speaking of leaving for work, I have to go pack to spend the weekend in Omaha. I'm flying there tonight and coming back Sunday morning. Then it looks like I have to do a nap on Sunday night as well. I'm off Wed - Fri next week though. Even more good times.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
bottled happiness
I know a lot of people think they can find happiness in bottles of different sorts but that's not what I'm talking about. I wish that there was a way to bottle up a good feeling, the smell in the air, the feel of the breeze, the feel of a happy heart, a beautiful day, and save it for when you really, really need it. It's crazy how one day you can feel on top of the world, and the next you are hanging on to happiness by your fingernails. It's about to slip out of your grasp but you know how good it feels and keep hanging on, sinking your nails in deeper, just to keep a little bit of it. Happiness somehow isn't the same when you're having to fight for it.
I hate when I get my feelings hurt and I'm not sure why they're hurt. I hate when your insurance goes down because you turn 25 and then way back up because you live in an expensive county. I hate how you think you have your money under control, bills are paid, and something else comes up. I hate when I sleep too late and waste part of a beautiful day like today.
I love that no matter what I do, or how far I feel from God, He still loves me. I love that He loves me enough to have me cross paths with someone who will remind me that He loves me exactly when I'm feeling my lowest. I love April in Georgia. I love being outside, walking around the lake, smelling the trees and water, feeling the sun on my shoulders, and seeing all the different birds, the squirrels scurrying around doing their thing, people playing with their dogs, fishing, and spending time together or alone. I love that I can call my dad and ask him for advice about my car. I love running into someone unexpectedly and what seems to be a total coincidence turns out to be God's perfect timing in so many ways. This reminds me that despite all my bad timing, I'm not in control of things, and the One who is actually knows what He's doing and isn't trying to screw me over. I love taking a shower after you get good and dirty, and how fresh and clean and renewed you feel. You appreciate the cleanness so much more when you've been really dirty. I love that my list of things that I love is longer than things that I hate. Now I feel like I have a good hand grip on happiness instead of it just being at the edge of my fingernails.
I hate when I get my feelings hurt and I'm not sure why they're hurt. I hate when your insurance goes down because you turn 25 and then way back up because you live in an expensive county. I hate how you think you have your money under control, bills are paid, and something else comes up. I hate when I sleep too late and waste part of a beautiful day like today.
I love that no matter what I do, or how far I feel from God, He still loves me. I love that He loves me enough to have me cross paths with someone who will remind me that He loves me exactly when I'm feeling my lowest. I love April in Georgia. I love being outside, walking around the lake, smelling the trees and water, feeling the sun on my shoulders, and seeing all the different birds, the squirrels scurrying around doing their thing, people playing with their dogs, fishing, and spending time together or alone. I love that I can call my dad and ask him for advice about my car. I love running into someone unexpectedly and what seems to be a total coincidence turns out to be God's perfect timing in so many ways. This reminds me that despite all my bad timing, I'm not in control of things, and the One who is actually knows what He's doing and isn't trying to screw me over. I love taking a shower after you get good and dirty, and how fresh and clean and renewed you feel. You appreciate the cleanness so much more when you've been really dirty. I love that my list of things that I love is longer than things that I hate. Now I feel like I have a good hand grip on happiness instead of it just being at the edge of my fingernails.
Monday, April 10, 2006
... but I'm not a soldier
Today is definitely one of those days when I couldn't possibly love life anymore. I'm feeling sooo much better than I have for the last week. I have just under a month before we got to Costa Rica so it's (no pun intended) crunch time. J text me this morning and we went and walked for 40 minutes. I can feel how un-well I've been because it really wasn't easy. We were walking really fast but still... The weather is amazing today. It's warm in the sun with a cool breeze blowing to keep it from getting too hot.
Yesterday is when I really started feeling better. I slept til about noon (sucks cause I missed church for the millionth time lately). Then I went to my parent's house and ate lunch. My throat and mouth are so much better that I can eat almost anything without excruciating pain. My family is the best. It makes me happy to be around them. They bought me chrystalized ginger that's supposed to help with motion sickness. My mom and Mook gave me a big bag of jelly bellys they got at the jelly belly factory when they went to CA. My mom also gave me a prescription bottle full of jelly bellys and she had altered the label so it was really funny. She said they were happy pills. not to be up your nose or in your ears. Warning: they may be addictive. produces gotta-have-moreitis. May stick to your ribs.. and all sorts of other funny cute things like that. It's so weird to only have two kids in their house, though Mook's friend is there a lot. They can't get away from kids.
Last night I finished a story I've been working on for this contest. I sent it to some of my uber smart friends for suggestions and got some good ones. Need to finish it today or tomorrow.
After I got back from walking I worked out my shoulders and triceps and did 270 crunches. I voluntarily ate oatmeal for the second time in years and years. Been listening to music while I exercise and there are certain songs that just make my heart happy and make me want to dance, air guitar, or just jump around crazy. Or maybe it's just that my heart is happy today and anything brings it out. I think Alice Cooper's Poison is such a fabulous song, La Tortura - Shakira, All These Things That I Have Done - The Killers. They just rock my face off. Now it's some ghetto song "I need a dime, top of the line, cute face, little waist, and a big behind." I listen to such quality music :-P. I need to go through my music on here cause I've got so much stuff I just downloaded looking for something else and a lot of it is crap.
Gotta go order some shoes for Chas's wedding and I don't think I can ignore the need to go to Walmart anymore. Ugh...
In case you haven't noticed - life is good. Hope it is for you as well.
Yesterday is when I really started feeling better. I slept til about noon (sucks cause I missed church for the millionth time lately). Then I went to my parent's house and ate lunch. My throat and mouth are so much better that I can eat almost anything without excruciating pain. My family is the best. It makes me happy to be around them. They bought me chrystalized ginger that's supposed to help with motion sickness. My mom and Mook gave me a big bag of jelly bellys they got at the jelly belly factory when they went to CA. My mom also gave me a prescription bottle full of jelly bellys and she had altered the label so it was really funny. She said they were happy pills. not to be up your nose or in your ears. Warning: they may be addictive. produces gotta-have-moreitis. May stick to your ribs.. and all sorts of other funny cute things like that. It's so weird to only have two kids in their house, though Mook's friend is there a lot. They can't get away from kids.
Last night I finished a story I've been working on for this contest. I sent it to some of my uber smart friends for suggestions and got some good ones. Need to finish it today or tomorrow.
After I got back from walking I worked out my shoulders and triceps and did 270 crunches. I voluntarily ate oatmeal for the second time in years and years. Been listening to music while I exercise and there are certain songs that just make my heart happy and make me want to dance, air guitar, or just jump around crazy. Or maybe it's just that my heart is happy today and anything brings it out. I think Alice Cooper's Poison is such a fabulous song, La Tortura - Shakira, All These Things That I Have Done - The Killers. They just rock my face off. Now it's some ghetto song "I need a dime, top of the line, cute face, little waist, and a big behind." I listen to such quality music :-P. I need to go through my music on here cause I've got so much stuff I just downloaded looking for something else and a lot of it is crap.
Gotta go order some shoes for Chas's wedding and I don't think I can ignore the need to go to Walmart anymore. Ugh...
In case you haven't noticed - life is good. Hope it is for you as well.
Saturday, April 8, 2006
Doctor's orders
How does a little piece of paper from a doctor finally make me feel justified lying around at home? I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon. My dear Roomie A went with me, which turned out to be a good thing cause she's getting sick too. She also kept me entertained while we waited for the work in appointment. He said I have a sinus infection which somehow has made my throat hurt like the devil. He recommended I take 3 days off work to heal and said that the sinus infection is most likely the reason I threw up on my flight the other day. He said I can pretty much expect to be sick a lot in the first year of my job and there isn't a whole lot I can do about it. Yay!! My face feels better today but I feel like my wisdom teeth are growing in, except I got them taken out years ago. I bought two boxes of popsicles yesterday and have eaten about half a box so far. I called in last night and tonight and won't be working again until Tuesday probably. So now it's just me and Roomie A sitting around, watching too much tv, playing on the internet and moaning about how bad we feel. She's lost most of her voice which is kind of funny.
I went to sleep last night with my window open about 8 inches so I could get a breeze in my room. As I was falling asleep I started hearing the frogs singing (always a sign it's going to rain). A few hours later I was awakened by the sound of heavy rain falling. It was absolutely beautiful. Then it started thundering and scared the crap out of me. It was so loud the car alarms in our parking lot started going off and it looked like it was daylight outside. I finally got up when I couldn't sleep anymore and have migrated back to the living. Being sick is really boring.
PS. I know people are reading my blogs... Some of you (Kat and Carson) are brave enough to leave me comments and I think you're rockstars for it.
I went to sleep last night with my window open about 8 inches so I could get a breeze in my room. As I was falling asleep I started hearing the frogs singing (always a sign it's going to rain). A few hours later I was awakened by the sound of heavy rain falling. It was absolutely beautiful. Then it started thundering and scared the crap out of me. It was so loud the car alarms in our parking lot started going off and it looked like it was daylight outside. I finally got up when I couldn't sleep anymore and have migrated back to the living. Being sick is really boring.
PS. I know people are reading my blogs... Some of you (Kat and Carson) are brave enough to leave me comments and I think you're rockstars for it.
Friday, April 7, 2006
I can't sleep
What part of I only slept 4 hours last night does my body not understand? I was going to read myself to sleep earlier with a book that J lent me, but I have finished the book and am still awake. It was really weird and interesting but I'm thinking more weird. I drank coffee this morning which is unusual for me and now I wonder if it's responsible for my sleeplessness. Seems like a bit of a stretch since I drank it at 5:45 this morning. On top of that my face hurts and it's really hot in here, but my feet are cold. This is nonsense. I have a doctor's appointment today and I have a feeling I'm not working tonight. I don't know what makes me feel like I need to suffer for my company's sake. They have a million other reserves out there they can use instead of me going to work feeling miserable, ears, face, throat hurting. The end of my nose feels like I bumped it in my sleep or something... Weird... I also need to spare my other crew members the agony of being around such a whiner as myself anyway. The sucky thing too is that my family is going to the farmer's market, little 5 and stone mountain today and I really wanted to go with but I can't now :(.
On a less complainy note - I was browsing around and was reminded of something I think about a lot at work. Whenever I work I see all different kinds of people. Depending on the day it could be a few hundred that walk past me and I say hello and serve them. And each one of them is so amazingly different from the next. I've seen people that don't fit my mold of beautiful in my mind, but when I see them they are very beautiful in a totally different way. I've seen weird people, ugly people, tall, short, skinny, fat, young, old... It's amazing to me the variety God gave us. It's also amazing to me that no two are exactly the same. When you deal with so many people it's easy to not really look at them but to see them as a whole group of people, but every now and then I get caught up in the realness of each person. The fact that their life is a story, just as interesting and complex to them as each of ours are to us. I heart people. Sometimes I hate people but today I heart them. Maybe cause I'm lying in my bed and not arguing with them over whether their bag really will fit in the overhead - though I never argue. I just let them try and then smile smugly when they have to bring it back to me cause it doesn't fit.) Someone should come entertain me.
On a less complainy note - I was browsing around and was reminded of something I think about a lot at work. Whenever I work I see all different kinds of people. Depending on the day it could be a few hundred that walk past me and I say hello and serve them. And each one of them is so amazingly different from the next. I've seen people that don't fit my mold of beautiful in my mind, but when I see them they are very beautiful in a totally different way. I've seen weird people, ugly people, tall, short, skinny, fat, young, old... It's amazing to me the variety God gave us. It's also amazing to me that no two are exactly the same. When you deal with so many people it's easy to not really look at them but to see them as a whole group of people, but every now and then I get caught up in the realness of each person. The fact that their life is a story, just as interesting and complex to them as each of ours are to us. I heart people. Sometimes I hate people but today I heart them. Maybe cause I'm lying in my bed and not arguing with them over whether their bag really will fit in the overhead - though I never argue. I just let them try and then smile smugly when they have to bring it back to me cause it doesn't fit.) Someone should come entertain me.
sick is the devil
Be warned - pretty much the whole point of this blog is to whine. If you continue reading and you get annoyed with my whining then that's just too bad cause I warned you.
I'm so tired of feeling bad. I wish that I could either get proper sick or get well. None of this in between crap. My throat has been hurting since Sunday. I've been coughing my lungs up every day and every night and I go back and forth between my ears hurting and my head hurting. I couldn't sleep last night cause if I lay on my back I would start coughing and if i lay on my stomach my throat would hurt. Then I had to get up at 5 to fly people back to Atlanta. My doctor is being a stupid head. I just want a refill of the same prescription I got a few months ago cause I have the same sickness.
I slept about 4 hours last night in Chattanooga. Tonight I'll be in Houston with a shorter overnight, St. Louis tomorrow night, and Ft. Walton Beach the next night. I didn't even think it was legal to do 4 naps in a row. Besides being sick naps are the devil. I'll explain what they are so when I refer to naps in the future there will be no confusion. Usually, when you do a trip and you spend the night somewhere you have to get at least 10 hours on the ground for rest. That's from 15 min after the plane lands til 45 min before it leaves the next day. On a nap you have less than 9 hours on the ground and you're considered on duty the whole time so you just do the one flight there and the one back in the morning. The St. Louis nap tomorrow night has 6hr39min on the ground which equals out to about 3something hrs of sleep. After doing a few of these you are absolutely dead. Sure, you get to come home and sleep during the day but it's just not the same. They aren't fun when you're well so they're even worse when you're sick. I thought about calling in sick tonight but like I said before, I feel like I should be dying sick to call in and I'm just in the "I feel really bad and don't want to do anything" stage. Blah.. My coffee from the flight this morning hasn't worn off yet so I can't go to sleep but I'm so tired.
All my whininess aside, life is good. I had a mammogram yesterday so I get to keep my breasts another 6 months, which makes me quite happy. I'm kind of attached to them. I played my violin yesterday and am halfway through a book I started the night before last. Even though I'm doing sucky naps at least I know what I'm doing for the next few days and don't have to sit around wondering (though it's still subject to change). I got my new uniform dress, skirt, and shirt which are all quite nice. They need some alterations but in general the result is good. I'm going to take some more drugs and go to sleep. Hasta la pasta.
I'm so tired of feeling bad. I wish that I could either get proper sick or get well. None of this in between crap. My throat has been hurting since Sunday. I've been coughing my lungs up every day and every night and I go back and forth between my ears hurting and my head hurting. I couldn't sleep last night cause if I lay on my back I would start coughing and if i lay on my stomach my throat would hurt. Then I had to get up at 5 to fly people back to Atlanta. My doctor is being a stupid head. I just want a refill of the same prescription I got a few months ago cause I have the same sickness.
I slept about 4 hours last night in Chattanooga. Tonight I'll be in Houston with a shorter overnight, St. Louis tomorrow night, and Ft. Walton Beach the next night. I didn't even think it was legal to do 4 naps in a row. Besides being sick naps are the devil. I'll explain what they are so when I refer to naps in the future there will be no confusion. Usually, when you do a trip and you spend the night somewhere you have to get at least 10 hours on the ground for rest. That's from 15 min after the plane lands til 45 min before it leaves the next day. On a nap you have less than 9 hours on the ground and you're considered on duty the whole time so you just do the one flight there and the one back in the morning. The St. Louis nap tomorrow night has 6hr39min on the ground which equals out to about 3something hrs of sleep. After doing a few of these you are absolutely dead. Sure, you get to come home and sleep during the day but it's just not the same. They aren't fun when you're well so they're even worse when you're sick. I thought about calling in sick tonight but like I said before, I feel like I should be dying sick to call in and I'm just in the "I feel really bad and don't want to do anything" stage. Blah.. My coffee from the flight this morning hasn't worn off yet so I can't go to sleep but I'm so tired.
All my whininess aside, life is good. I had a mammogram yesterday so I get to keep my breasts another 6 months, which makes me quite happy. I'm kind of attached to them. I played my violin yesterday and am halfway through a book I started the night before last. Even though I'm doing sucky naps at least I know what I'm doing for the next few days and don't have to sit around wondering (though it's still subject to change). I got my new uniform dress, skirt, and shirt which are all quite nice. They need some alterations but in general the result is good. I'm going to take some more drugs and go to sleep. Hasta la pasta.
Monday, April 3, 2006
I should be sleeping
But I'm not. Instead I'm lying here in bed thinking of things I would rather not think about. I'm feeling kind of lonely. That's what happens when you get used to being around people all the time. I wish I felt better cause then I could've done something with my day besides nap (probably why I can't sleep now). The day started off with such promise. I got up and took all three loads of my laundry down to the place where the laundry is done here so I could dry them all at the same time (our washer is broken). In the meantime I paid some bills and had a depressing conversation with my credit card company. That's when I started to guess that my day wasn't going to be so hot after all. They made me cry I was so frustrated. Yeah, I know it's my fault. I shouldn't have the things in the first place, but just because something is your fault doesn't make it hurt any less... Which brings me to the next reason my day wasn't fun. It's easy to say what you should and shouldn't have done a few months down the road. I'm glad for what has happened and what I've learned and experienced but it's hard because the result, that I knew would happen months ago, is now happening. And it makes me really sad. I know I'm being vague but this is myspace. I do have a little self respect. The moral of the story is today was not one of my favorite days ever. My throat still hurts. My ears still hurt. I still feel like coughing all the time but it hurts when I do. And I'm still sad. I was much better for a while but I think it's one of those 'when it rains it pours' things. The little things that you can deal with on a normal day can really get you down on a not so great day. Bah humbug. I want to go to sleep and not wake up for a long time. Then I would be well hopefully. I need to get motivated to exercise. I was going to volleyball practice but it was the wrong night. I was going to go for a walk/run but everything just kind of aches. Not like full-on flu ache but bad enough to make you just want to go home and do nothing. It sucks cause I feel like I either work ALL the time, or I sit at home and doing nothing ALL the time. I can't wait to have a regular schedule. I will be the happiest girl ever. If you pray I appreciate your prayers.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Talk about multi-tasking
I'm not sure when it happened. I know it's something about me. Not something I can blame on my mom, my upbringing, or my friends... Somewhere along the way I became a person that will eat food that is way past the sell by date, food that has been sitting out, other people's leftovers... just as long as they smell and taste fine still. You'd think I was some starving child from Africa. [A side note about thef 5 second rule - I was watching some tv show the other day that said that it doesn't matter if it's been on the floor for 1 second or 20, it will get the same number of germs on it.] This morning I ate leftover pizza from last night. It wasn't cold pizza because I forgot to put it away so it just sat out all night. Maybe one of these days something will actually make me sick and I'll stop tempting germs like this.
Not only did I eat the room temperature pizza but I ate it in the shower. Is that weird? Am I the only person who has ever eaten any food in the shower?
I just woke up about an hour ago which bugs me but oh well. I'm going to be sitting at the airport until 2230 tonight, unless they use me, but they rarely do when you're on ready reserve. Ready reserve has got to be the lamest way to spend a Friday night. Suppose I should go get ready. Pollen season is here and it's already killing my eyes and nose.
Not only did I eat the room temperature pizza but I ate it in the shower. Is that weird? Am I the only person who has ever eaten any food in the shower?
I just woke up about an hour ago which bugs me but oh well. I'm going to be sitting at the airport until 2230 tonight, unless they use me, but they rarely do when you're on ready reserve. Ready reserve has got to be the lamest way to spend a Friday night. Suppose I should go get ready. Pollen season is here and it's already killing my eyes and nose.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Hey You...
I wish I could talk to you. I wish you were here beside me like you were before. I got in bed tonight and grabbed the other pillow to prop up with and it has the faint smell of you on it. Also has some random short hairs that I know don't belong to me. I just miss you. I have a feeling I'll be missing you a lot for a long time. I'm glad we got to talk more. I'm glad that we can be honest with each other. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one this is hard for. I still feel really awful sometimes because I feel like all this unhappiness is my fault... But what can I do? I'm glad that you are mature enough to still want to be around me and still keep our friendship. I still get scared sometimes that when you start to move on you won't care about that anymore, but worrying over the future never got anyone anything except for a wallow in misery. It's nice not to know what the future holds. I know it's not right for me to hold out hope for the future. I did that once before, and though this situation is by far a different one, it still isn't right to myself or to you to do that. Thankfully you understand that. That still doesn't make any of this easier. Doesn't make it easier when you sit next to me but don't touch me. When you only hug me goodnight and don't kiss me anymore. Doesn't make it any easier to look at your handsome face, see your smile and your dimples, your lovely brown eyes with the dark green edge.. all that I've come to know so well and now I have to make my distance from them. I don't want to dwell on all the things I'm missing out on because I don't want to cry anymore. I have noone to hold me tonight if I cry and that sucks. I'm glad that we can still have a good time and laugh together. I hope that I can be a friend and not let my feelings (and hormones) get in the way. I guess that's all I have to say now. I miss your good night texts. It's lonely in the dark and the quiet. You made it a nice thing but now it's back to a lonely thing again. And possibly more lonely this time since I know what I'm missing out on now. I hope you're sleeping nicely right now since you have to get up so early in the morning. I love the way you get up so early so you can take your time and enjoy your morning. I love the way you pack your lunch and make sure everything is just so. I love the way you spent all day making your car beautiful, and the fact that you let me drive it a lot. I love so many things about you... There have been so many times lately when I wish I could tell you that I love you. I don't know if I'm in love, and even if I am it doesn't matter right now, but I love you as my friend.. someone who has taken the time to learn me inside and out and still likes me. Someone who I can share things with, laugh with, cry if necessary. I can tell you anything and somehow you're still around. I pray that I am doing the right thing, cause it really doesn't feel like it most of the time. I guess I should sleep now. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you were here with me. I hope you thought of me some. I miss you. Sweet dreams. xoxo
the meltdown
The new Ice Age looks really cute. I can't wait to hear the sloth's vertical lishp. It's adorable.
I've had another one of the deep questions of life answered for me. First it was the Mormon underwear, then how grills work, and now the whole European ice thing. Just about everytime I have a European on my flight they ask for no ice in their drink. Someone told me it's because they assume the drinks will be chilled like they are in Europe, but I know for a fact drinks aren't very cold in Europe. Someone else said it was because they like to get more drink and ice means less drink. So I asked some French ladies the other day and they said it's because they don't like their drinks so cold. They say people in the US use too much ice. That was my guess so yay. One less thing to wonder about in life. All these serious questions were really weighing my mind down.
I spent 2 hours today grocery shopping and now I want to die. I'm not sure which part of shopping I hate more. The wandering around for ever, the decision making, or the spending money. Maybe it's all of the above.
Looks like it's going to be a crazy fun Thursday night. It's been so nice sitting at home this week. I did a nap one night and I'm supposed do ready reserve tomorrow and so far that's it. I guess they could call me tonight and send me somewhere. Hold thumbs they don't call. I'm getting tired of being on reserve. Did I ever mention that?
I've had another one of the deep questions of life answered for me. First it was the Mormon underwear, then how grills work, and now the whole European ice thing. Just about everytime I have a European on my flight they ask for no ice in their drink. Someone told me it's because they assume the drinks will be chilled like they are in Europe, but I know for a fact drinks aren't very cold in Europe. Someone else said it was because they like to get more drink and ice means less drink. So I asked some French ladies the other day and they said it's because they don't like their drinks so cold. They say people in the US use too much ice. That was my guess so yay. One less thing to wonder about in life. All these serious questions were really weighing my mind down.
I spent 2 hours today grocery shopping and now I want to die. I'm not sure which part of shopping I hate more. The wandering around for ever, the decision making, or the spending money. Maybe it's all of the above.
Looks like it's going to be a crazy fun Thursday night. It's been so nice sitting at home this week. I did a nap one night and I'm supposed do ready reserve tomorrow and so far that's it. I guess they could call me tonight and send me somewhere. Hold thumbs they don't call. I'm getting tired of being on reserve. Did I ever mention that?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Rob the jewelry store, tell 'em make me a grill
Is it still insomnia if your sleeplessness is in the morning? I've been awake since before 8 and can't go back to sleep and it's irritating me. Especially since I only went to sleep at almost 3. It didn't help that Roomie A was up running around the house yelling about her sister having her baby (not yet but she will soon). And then after she left the neighbor's stupid dog decides to start barking (again). It makes me so mad cause I'm not crazy about the creatures anyway and when they sit next door and bark all freaking day it drives me insane.
Yesterday morning I slept really, really late and I had the weirdest dream. I can't remember all the details of it but here's the general idea: In the beginning of the dream my friends and I were taking care of a baby. It was awful cause the baby would fall off the bed and stuff and noone else seemed to think there was anything wrong with letting that happen. Next part of the dream we're all riding somewhere together and we have this baby and evidently someone had dropped it off at my door or something. Basically we were trying to figure out who should have it. I wanted it cause I had already been taking care of it (weird) and we were trying to decide what to name it. It was a girl and everyone was calling her Lynn and someone suggested that her middle name be Flyn. I was like, there is no way you're going to name this child Lynn Flyn. So since I like the name Eva, she was going to be Eva Flyn. No idea where the Flyn came from. Then we were trying to decide whose last name she should have. Next part of the dream I go home and look in my fish tank and there's a little shelf-like thing on the inside of the tank and a fish was lying on it dead. Somehow the fish was the baby and it had died and noone was sad about it cause it was just a fish but I was very upset cause it was the baby.... The moral of the story is - don't eat Chinese food before you go to sleep unless you want to have a baby named Lynn Flyn.
I forgot to tell about one of my flights last week that was funny. On Sunday when I did my round trip I flew on the 70 so there was another flight attendant. I thought she looked familiar and figured out that she had gotten TDY'd to Salt Lake the same week in November as me. I had remembered someone mentioning that she was Mormon which I thought was interesting. So we started talking and I asked her about the underwear that Mormons supposedly have to wear. There was discussion recently about who wears them and why and when. She said that any time someone goes through Temple, which would be either before they go on missions or get married, they have to wear them. So we keep talking and I find out that along with her flight attendant job she is a dancer at one of the dance clubs in Atlanta. AND that she had a grill made... Which answered another question I had. I kind of like the song "Grills" but never understood how they could have so many different grills. Hers is gold and goes on 4 of her bottom teeth. She put it in so I could see how it worked. I couldnt look at her again for the rest of the trip without laughing really hard.
I think that's all I have to say for now. I should probably get up and be about my day. I've got things to do and people to see.. Well I mostly need to finish unpacking from CA and get my room clean in case they call me in to work.
Yesterday morning I slept really, really late and I had the weirdest dream. I can't remember all the details of it but here's the general idea: In the beginning of the dream my friends and I were taking care of a baby. It was awful cause the baby would fall off the bed and stuff and noone else seemed to think there was anything wrong with letting that happen. Next part of the dream we're all riding somewhere together and we have this baby and evidently someone had dropped it off at my door or something. Basically we were trying to figure out who should have it. I wanted it cause I had already been taking care of it (weird) and we were trying to decide what to name it. It was a girl and everyone was calling her Lynn and someone suggested that her middle name be Flyn. I was like, there is no way you're going to name this child Lynn Flyn. So since I like the name Eva, she was going to be Eva Flyn. No idea where the Flyn came from. Then we were trying to decide whose last name she should have. Next part of the dream I go home and look in my fish tank and there's a little shelf-like thing on the inside of the tank and a fish was lying on it dead. Somehow the fish was the baby and it had died and noone was sad about it cause it was just a fish but I was very upset cause it was the baby.... The moral of the story is - don't eat Chinese food before you go to sleep unless you want to have a baby named Lynn Flyn.
I forgot to tell about one of my flights last week that was funny. On Sunday when I did my round trip I flew on the 70 so there was another flight attendant. I thought she looked familiar and figured out that she had gotten TDY'd to Salt Lake the same week in November as me. I had remembered someone mentioning that she was Mormon which I thought was interesting. So we started talking and I asked her about the underwear that Mormons supposedly have to wear. There was discussion recently about who wears them and why and when. She said that any time someone goes through Temple, which would be either before they go on missions or get married, they have to wear them. So we keep talking and I find out that along with her flight attendant job she is a dancer at one of the dance clubs in Atlanta. AND that she had a grill made... Which answered another question I had. I kind of like the song "Grills" but never understood how they could have so many different grills. Hers is gold and goes on 4 of her bottom teeth. She put it in so I could see how it worked. I couldnt look at her again for the rest of the trip without laughing really hard.
I think that's all I have to say for now. I should probably get up and be about my day. I've got things to do and people to see.. Well I mostly need to finish unpacking from CA and get my room clean in case they call me in to work.
Friday, March 24, 2006
As I was saying...
This is the part of my job I like. I helped scheduling out on Sunday so now I have until Sunday off which is nice cause usually when I go out of town I have to rush back. The weather here is beautiful. The city is beautiful. I could spend a lot of time out here. I love how it's sprawling out everywhere. You see the ocean on one side, houses built on all the hills on another side, and the city off in the distance. This morning I slept late then walked down the street and got waxed by some little asian lady. It was different but worth it. It's so much cheaper out here which is great cause I'm kind of broke. I think maybe I'm weird cause things that bother normal people don't bother me. It's nice not to be bothered. I went with Roya to her tennis practice and sat in the sun and read while she did all the worked. I did get on the eliptical machine for a while so I don't feel completely lazy. Hopefully I got some sun cause I'm tired of being such a pale white girl. That 70s Show is on and it's fantastic. It makes me happy. I had so much stuff I was going to write and now I've forgotten it all. Roya needs to wake up so we can go out and enjoy San Diego.
I can't think of a subject and have to leave now
Life is funny.. Just a few short days ago I was in such a miserable frame of mind. I was hating everything, my job, the weather, my fellow employees, scheduling, passengers, my life... I know, I know.. I actually love my life. I have a great life, but sometimes you can't see or feel beyond the moment and you forget that it isn't always that sucky. Some of the factors continue to plague me, mainly the whole I don't get paid jack at my job factor, but I am now off work for 4 days in a row (3 left) and enjoying the beautiful weather in San Diego. I flew out here yesterday afternoon, thanks to the job that I so often cursed earlier this week, and will be here until Sunday visiting my friend Roya. I'm so excited because she wants to show me San Diego, and as her little brother so beautifully put it, let me enjoy the full flavor of the city. We're probably going to go to Mexico tomorrow as well. I hope they stamp my passport so it can stop being empty, but I'm not sure if they do that.
I was supposed to be off Sunday, but as a favor to scheduling (learned my lesson there), I went on reserve when I got back from Kentucky. About an hour later they called me to do a round trip back up to Lexington. So me, being the person that sees more good in people and things than they really deserve credit for, only took my flight bag cause I didn't really think they'd send me anywhere far. Dumb Grace. I got back from LEX to find out that I was to go to McAllen, TX for the night, come back to ATL, do a Tulsa round trip and then pick up the Syracuse overnight they had already given me for Monday night. So now, instead of being gone for the afternoon I'm going to be gone for 3 days. I was not a happy camper. I got to McAllen that night and got the hotel van to take me to Walmart where I thought I was experiencing a Mexican Christmas Eve. The place was packed like Christmas Eve and I was practically the only English speaking person there. Good times. When we left there the next day it was 90 degrees. The day continued with every flight being delayed, mostly because of weather. I was praying that I wouldn't have to go to Syracuse because we didn't get back until 11pm. I got off the plane and checked the flight to Syracuse and it had been delayed until 1148. We didn't even take off until after 1230. I don't understand how they expect me to be nice and care about my job when I've already been in an airplane for over 6 hours that day. So I didn't care. I threw drinks at people. Told them to shutup if they complained about being cold. Let them wander around on take off. Had them hold their bags in their laps or put them in the aisles... :-P. Anyway, I've never been so happy for a trip to be over. The guys I flew with were nice which always helps but I was loving home sweet home.
Roya just got back from her lab so we're going to tennis practice. This should be fun. I just got waxed by some Korean lady here which was quite fun as well.. More on all this later. San Diego, here we come!!
I was supposed to be off Sunday, but as a favor to scheduling (learned my lesson there), I went on reserve when I got back from Kentucky. About an hour later they called me to do a round trip back up to Lexington. So me, being the person that sees more good in people and things than they really deserve credit for, only took my flight bag cause I didn't really think they'd send me anywhere far. Dumb Grace. I got back from LEX to find out that I was to go to McAllen, TX for the night, come back to ATL, do a Tulsa round trip and then pick up the Syracuse overnight they had already given me for Monday night. So now, instead of being gone for the afternoon I'm going to be gone for 3 days. I was not a happy camper. I got to McAllen that night and got the hotel van to take me to Walmart where I thought I was experiencing a Mexican Christmas Eve. The place was packed like Christmas Eve and I was practically the only English speaking person there. Good times. When we left there the next day it was 90 degrees. The day continued with every flight being delayed, mostly because of weather. I was praying that I wouldn't have to go to Syracuse because we didn't get back until 11pm. I got off the plane and checked the flight to Syracuse and it had been delayed until 1148. We didn't even take off until after 1230. I don't understand how they expect me to be nice and care about my job when I've already been in an airplane for over 6 hours that day. So I didn't care. I threw drinks at people. Told them to shutup if they complained about being cold. Let them wander around on take off. Had them hold their bags in their laps or put them in the aisles... :-P. Anyway, I've never been so happy for a trip to be over. The guys I flew with were nice which always helps but I was loving home sweet home.
Roya just got back from her lab so we're going to tennis practice. This should be fun. I just got waxed by some Korean lady here which was quite fun as well.. More on all this later. San Diego, here we come!!
Thursday, March 9, 2006
polyester pants time
Yes, I have to work tonight. I'm actually glad cause I need a diversion. I need to be somewhere but here and don't have money to go out. Today has been just jolly good fun (yes, that is sarcasm). I spent most of the afternoon compiling songs for a cd, the sole purpose of which will be to depress me even more. Yay! I woke up at 10am (after lying awake til 3am) and saw that I had 7 missed calls. 3 of which were from work. I missed a call which is the biggest no-no ever. You get in trouble when you're unavailable on reserve. I had called scheduling last night to talk about a trip I wanted next week and had a nice conversation with the night guy. He is the one that called me this morning and I'm wondering if he did me a huge favor and didn't mark me unavailable. I was in a huge panic and called my mom back crying, cause she had left messages wondering what was up (their number is scheduling's alternate contact for me). Then I called sched and they said there was nothing on the schedule which would be nothing short of a miracle, a gift from God. I had a feeling then that today wasn't going to be good. I worked out with J. The workout was good but that was it. From all outward appearances, he seems completely fine and my heart is broken. It's my fault so I shouldn't complain but I still hurt. We walked for a while outside and it felt amazing. The sun was bright and warm and the wind was strong and cool. We found a neighborhood that's being built with amazing houses. We walked, he talked, I listened. Came home and laid in the bathtub and tried to relax. Now I have to fly to Florence, SC for the night. Have the 6am flight back in the morning which means we'll leave for the airport from the hotel at 5 probably so I'll get up at 415 or 430. Woo hoo! I guess it's better than sitting at home being sad. Talked to my sweet adopted little sister. Ended up dumping even though I wasn't intending to but she's good like that. My real little sister is trying to go out of town so we're playing phone tag to organize it but now I don't know what's going on.
As I was lying in the bathtub today thinking I realized I was a bit confused about this whole emo thing. Either I don't understand what it is or it's just stupid. It just seems to me that it's people who like to be sad, or at least seem sad, all the time. Who would want to be that way??? I don't understand it.
Anyway, I need to don the rest of my glorious uniform, pack my pjs, do my makeup and get to work. These are some good times. Prayers are appreciated.
As I was lying in the bathtub today thinking I realized I was a bit confused about this whole emo thing. Either I don't understand what it is or it's just stupid. It just seems to me that it's people who like to be sad, or at least seem sad, all the time. Who would want to be that way??? I don't understand it.
Anyway, I need to don the rest of my glorious uniform, pack my pjs, do my makeup and get to work. These are some good times. Prayers are appreciated.
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
Your Winter
This is one of those great songs that makes the pain in your heart hurt that much more...
Grey ceiling on the earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child
In your opinion, and what is that?
It's just a different point of view
What else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry ,but what for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only know how much I love you, love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here
The old picture on the shelf
Well it's been there for a while
A frozen image of ourselves
We are acting like a child
Innocent and in a trance
A dance that lasted for a while
You read my eyes just like your diary,
oh remember, please remember
Well, I'm not a beggar, but what's more
If I hurt you, then I hate myself,
And I don't wanna hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here
My fortune cookie said: Don't slam a door. You might want to go back... hmmm
Grey ceiling on the earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child
In your opinion, and what is that?
It's just a different point of view
What else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry ,but what for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only know how much I love you, love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here
The old picture on the shelf
Well it's been there for a while
A frozen image of ourselves
We are acting like a child
Innocent and in a trance
A dance that lasted for a while
You read my eyes just like your diary,
oh remember, please remember
Well, I'm not a beggar, but what's more
If I hurt you, then I hate myself,
And I don't wanna hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here
My fortune cookie said: Don't slam a door. You might want to go back... hmmm
Monday, March 6, 2006
I just died in your arms tonight.... shoulda walked away
My day started off so well. I was awake and out of bed by 830, ate breakfast (bagel with peanutbutter - working on increasing my protien intake), cleaned my room (even dusted all my shelves and was going to vacuum but the bag was impossibly full), and ran for a little bit. It wasn't long and I really kind of fast walked but the fact that I was out of my pjs when I didn't have to be and was doing something physically good for me is enough to make me happy. Then I went to work and from 230 til 1030 I sat ready reserve at the airport. I don't always mind RR. It's usually a good time to catch up on sleep, see people I haven't seen in a while, do some knitting, etc... but by 430 I had finished my book, paid my bills, and written some cards, and I was bored out of my head. My stomach was feeling funny which made me not want to sit in the lounge but my feet have been hurting which made me not want to walk around. For once I didn't feel like sleeping. Some days I go to work and can't turn around without seeing people I know but today was one of the other kind. And the few people that were around all seemed to be giving me funny looks if I even glanced in the direction of their conversation. I guess they used up all their friendliness on the passengers. One of my most favorite people did come through the airport for a little while which practically made my entire day. I'm so easily pleased. Now I'm home and all is quiet. Roomie A is at her parent's tonight and I guess Roomie T is sleeping (or just hanigng out in the dark in her room). I got some kind of velour-ish pants at Target the other day for $4.24 and I'm addicted. I wish I could wear them to work. They're so comfortable and don't squeeze like the rest of my pants do (my weight has reached an all time high. go me). I'm working on some stories in my head that I need to start writing down. Though I'm glad I didn't get used while on RR it seems like a monumental waste of a day to sit at the airport. I started a second book but am having a hard time getting into it. I forgot to take any knitting with me as well. It's just stupid to get all dressed and packed for whatever they might throw at you, just to drag it all back home 8 hours later. It really irritates me how they automatically put the times on here on Pacific time. Oh well. I guess I'll just change it. So there, myspace. I wasn't tired today, which makes me very happy.
Sunday, March 5, 2006
pieces of songs in my head
I find that I have reached a certain sad/silly point in my life where I refer to characters on tv shows as if they were real and the things they experienced actually happened. I wonder if that is a sign of a good tv show when the things that happen on there happen to real people as well...? Anyway, I digress... There's an episode of S & the C where they all go to an engagement party and someone asks Miranda if she's seeing anyone special. She says no, she isn't seeing anyone special, just a whole bunch of un-special people. She starts joking about how if any of them know anyone un-special to pass her number along, etc... Later Carrie asks what is going on with the comedy routine and she said she was just doing it to avoid all the married and engaged women's "oh, you'll find someone" blah blah blah. I said all to say that I found myself doing exactly the same thing yesterday, and realized that I do it every freaking time I go to a wedding, shower, child's birthday party, church, the store, basically anywhere where I'm the only single one. I feel like I'm some sort of mutant when I'm in situations like that and if I joke about being single then noone will feel uncomfortable. The sad thing is, I'm perfectly content being single. I'm in no hurry to join the masses of datings and marrieds. But for some reason being around a ton of married people makes me feel like I have to defend myself. Then that pisses me off. I don't want anyone's pity or sympathy. In case you're wondering, I went to a wedding AND a child's birthday party yesterday. Both were very nice, but after a while I can only stand so much of the whole love, marriage, babies thing... I'm glad I'm single. I'm glad I can go somewhere different every weekend this month. I'm glad I can go to sleep when I want and noone will wake me up. I'm glad I can wake up when I want and noone is going to starve for it. I'm glad I can go out with whoever I want, whenever, and then change my plans at the last minute and noone cares. I love that if I get fat there's only one person who cares (me). I love having friends who are more concerned about marrying the right person than about being married. I hate that I can go to sleep whenever I want and get up whenever I want and I'll still be just as tired as before. I love that I got my first pinkness from the sun of 2006. I can't wait for it to get warm and yummy. I'm going to try the whole sleep thing.
Wednesday, March 1, 2006
Doesn't curiosity also kill things besides cats?
I hate how I always think of things to write about when I'm not near a computer or pen and paper. I found something in a magazine the other day that was interesting. It's a writing contest looking for real-life stories by women about something where they were challenged or surprised themselves by something they did or experienced. I cant remember the exact description but you win $5000 and they look at the stories to see which one could possibly turn into a book.... Interesting hey? I think it is anyway. Now I just have to figure out what I'm going to write about. I'm open to suggestions. I'm going to text my roommate now and see if she's still up. I wish there was some way of knowing who reads these cause I know it's happening...
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
on and on and on and on it goes...
Life's funny... I realized recently that I was free from something that had a hold on me for many years. And now that I'm free of it, I can only wonder what exactly it was about said thing that I couldn't seem to get away from. It's funny how, when you're all wrapped up in the drama and feelings of a moment you can't ever imagine life being different. You can't imagine what it will be like to have something or someone completely gone from your life. But when it happens and the drama is over you hardly remember what it was like before. It feels good to be constantly reminded that life goes on. Some people view the constant moving forward of life as an unpleasant/sad/scary thing. It means we're all getting older. It means that before we know it we'll be at a completely different stage of our lives. But I think it's amazing. It's amazing to know that each part of life holds different pleasures and joys. I may be saying something different when I'm 85 and can't remember who you are and pee myself randomly but I won't remember that I ever said this then so it doesn't matter anyway. I wish people could realize that whenever they're in an unpleasant situation, job, relationship, or whatever, that the pain they'll experience getting out of it will soon be gone and be replaced by something better.
My life isn't perfect. It never will be. But I'm really happy right now. I like being 25. I like my job. I like the randomness of my life. I like my friends (some more than others ;-).) I like that I can drive over to my parent's house and eat my mother's cooking and hang out with my family... Life is good.
My life isn't perfect. It never will be. But I'm really happy right now. I like being 25. I like my job. I like the randomness of my life. I like my friends (some more than others ;-).) I like that I can drive over to my parent's house and eat my mother's cooking and hang out with my family... Life is good.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
it is well with my soul
I think that it's important to take note of the different emotional phases we go through. This week was not one of the better weeks I've had, but now, it's the end of the week/beginning of next week and I feel good. I feel happy and peaceful and I like that.
Some people may view the fact that everything has to end as a bad thing, but to me it's one of the beauties of life. Yes, this does mean that good things have to end, but it also gives hope in the 'slough of despond' times. Whenever I'm on a flight where the passengers are angry, I feel sick, the weather is rotten, we're delayed.. whatever the situation, it's really nice to be able to say, yes, like everything else in life, this flight must come to an end as well. We have to land eventually. Or, I have to feel better eventually. I can't imagine ever feeling so sad with my life that I would give up hope that the bad times would end and it would get better. I was thinking yesterday how when it rains it pours. I went through a lot this week, not only with my bag being stolen, dealing with the loss, recovering what I could, letting go of what I couldnt', but some other personal stuff I was dealing with. But now, I've survived, just like always, and I'm going to be fine.
The rain is falling outside and it sounds beautiful. I'm turning 25 in 2 days and I'm excited. Some people worry about turning 25 because they feel they're getting old, but I feel like I'm really starting to get to the good part of life. I can now do everything any other adult can do, except get the senior citizen's discount on Wednesday (I'm not ready for that one). I could do everything before but I'm just talking about insurance going down and being able to rent cars without paying extra. I'm excited that God has allowed me so many wonderful years. I have great friends and a wonderful family and the future is bright.
Some people may view the fact that everything has to end as a bad thing, but to me it's one of the beauties of life. Yes, this does mean that good things have to end, but it also gives hope in the 'slough of despond' times. Whenever I'm on a flight where the passengers are angry, I feel sick, the weather is rotten, we're delayed.. whatever the situation, it's really nice to be able to say, yes, like everything else in life, this flight must come to an end as well. We have to land eventually. Or, I have to feel better eventually. I can't imagine ever feeling so sad with my life that I would give up hope that the bad times would end and it would get better. I was thinking yesterday how when it rains it pours. I went through a lot this week, not only with my bag being stolen, dealing with the loss, recovering what I could, letting go of what I couldnt', but some other personal stuff I was dealing with. But now, I've survived, just like always, and I'm going to be fine.
The rain is falling outside and it sounds beautiful. I'm turning 25 in 2 days and I'm excited. Some people worry about turning 25 because they feel they're getting old, but I feel like I'm really starting to get to the good part of life. I can now do everything any other adult can do, except get the senior citizen's discount on Wednesday (I'm not ready for that one). I could do everything before but I'm just talking about insurance going down and being able to rent cars without paying extra. I'm excited that God has allowed me so many wonderful years. I have great friends and a wonderful family and the future is bright.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
sunshine, blue skies are coming my way
I haven't blogged in quite a while. I randomly blog elsewhere in a less public place. If you're interested, and special, maybe I'll tell you where.
I decided that since I'm having a hide-in-your-hoodie day I'd go to my mental file boxes and dig through the happy memories files. The ones you pull out when the sky is gray, the leaves are soggy on the ground, toes are frozen, and there isn't a flower to be seen.
Tanya and I have been sitting here watching Return of the King. I like it but it really isn't doing anything to help my mood. The frosty she just brought me from Wendy's does help though. What a great friend/roommate!!
As I sit and think of times when it feels like all the world is happy and life couldnt' be any better they seem to have some common chararcteristics.. music - often loud, but sometimes mellow, fast cars, wind, blue skies, warm weather.. might as well throw in a beach while we're at it.
The night before last, after I got off work, my flight bag got stolen out of my car. I hate thieves. Twice I've been robbed and neither time did they get anything of real value. Always just stuff that meant a lot to me or that was difficult/impossible to replace. This time it was my company id, airport badge, uniform and wings, PASSPORT, drivers license, debit and credit cards, $30, flight attendant manual, knitting needles and scarf I was making for my mom, favorite tweezers (they kept my eyebrows pretty!!), my planner (the only way I ever remember anything), and various toiletries, etc... It's been a huge pain but ya, life goes on. It always does. I had to call out on my trip yesterday, which sucks, and I'm not sure how that will pan out cause I'm still on probation (had 7 days left), but everything always works out in the end. On the bright side, I had forgotten to bring my glasses so they're safe and sound and the picture on my passport was really awful.
That 70s show is a little less depressing than Return of the King. Kelso is shockingly stupid. It's quite humorous. I'm going to find something to eat.
I decided that since I'm having a hide-in-your-hoodie day I'd go to my mental file boxes and dig through the happy memories files. The ones you pull out when the sky is gray, the leaves are soggy on the ground, toes are frozen, and there isn't a flower to be seen.
Tanya and I have been sitting here watching Return of the King. I like it but it really isn't doing anything to help my mood. The frosty she just brought me from Wendy's does help though. What a great friend/roommate!!
As I sit and think of times when it feels like all the world is happy and life couldnt' be any better they seem to have some common chararcteristics.. music - often loud, but sometimes mellow, fast cars, wind, blue skies, warm weather.. might as well throw in a beach while we're at it.
The night before last, after I got off work, my flight bag got stolen out of my car. I hate thieves. Twice I've been robbed and neither time did they get anything of real value. Always just stuff that meant a lot to me or that was difficult/impossible to replace. This time it was my company id, airport badge, uniform and wings, PASSPORT, drivers license, debit and credit cards, $30, flight attendant manual, knitting needles and scarf I was making for my mom, favorite tweezers (they kept my eyebrows pretty!!), my planner (the only way I ever remember anything), and various toiletries, etc... It's been a huge pain but ya, life goes on. It always does. I had to call out on my trip yesterday, which sucks, and I'm not sure how that will pan out cause I'm still on probation (had 7 days left), but everything always works out in the end. On the bright side, I had forgotten to bring my glasses so they're safe and sound and the picture on my passport was really awful.
That 70s show is a little less depressing than Return of the King. Kelso is shockingly stupid. It's quite humorous. I'm going to find something to eat.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)